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CreativeDominant -> RE: Why bdsm? (3/4/2008 7:37:54 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LordTavian
Damn, I have been a whiny little bastard. Thank you all for giving me a kick in the seat of the pants. I needed that. And DesFIP provoked me enough so I remembered who I used to be. No thanks for that. You ever talk to me like that again and I will put you back into your place...again.
I have been denying who I am for far too long. I enjoyed the feeling of power I got when my former wife was submissive to me. And it made me love her all the more. That is what is lacking in my life at the moment. But not for long.
Yes...you have been a whiny little bastard. LaT's post, DES's post, even my post to be frank, were all good posts. As a matter of fact, most of the posts to you have been decent and understanding and have continued to be so which, given the way you came to the board and presented yourself and your subsequent denial of many of the truths written. surprises me in a good way to see the restraint that can be embraced by many of us when we are trying to help someone.
And yet...you whine about how she couldn't accept your love. Could that be because you were doing what I and others have noted...you were giving her love and adoration in a way that YOU saw fit but not necessarily the way she wanted. Omega noted that society has tried to teach men that women want furs and candy and jewelry for those special occasions yet she notes that buying her those would only indicate the depth of your wallet, not the depth of your real understanding of what makes her tick. After my post yesterday, I went back to the office with all that you said on my mind and I thought of something else I should have asked you...and which tempting's post helped to clarify for me even more...why is it so hard for someone like you to understand that for some women, the only pedestal they want to be on is on their knees in front of one they wish to submit to?
You whine about how SHE opened a door for you but didn't stick around to guide you. Could that be because even after she opened the door, you sat there "kicking and screaming" about how you didn't want to be there? Could it be that you protested the whole time you were trying to dominate her? Could it be that she saw that there was a dark side in you but you were too "saintly" to want to admit to it and didn't have the cajones to own it? At least, not then...and despite your post above, probably not even now?
You go off on a rant against DES because she stated something bluntly that others of us may well have also thought...how fair have you been to your wife? You can tell yourself that you have loved her and have treated her well but as I noted...was it really any different from any other vanilla woman? Have you taken the time to get to know her or has there been no need because she accepted the love and adoration that you chose to give rather than ask for what she needed and wanted? I seriously doubt that most of the women I know...vanilla and submissive...would want me were they to know that I still had a big hole in my heart from a past love that I had not dealt with. Despite your words to the contrary about how she does not effect your marriage now and how you have moved on, your original post...and others...give the lie to those statements.
You say you are going to "accept yourself". Well then, perhaps the truth of that and of the way you say you love your wife is to carry that truth to her rather than doing everything you can to make sure that your first love, first wife knows that you are here now...changing.
Now...tell me to back off...that I don't know you...that I have no idea of the good you have done and the wonderful life you have built for your wife. If all that was built on an attempt to close the door to Pandora's box and to heal the hole in your heart...it has all been a lie, has it not? Because just how successful has it been, other than on the surface?
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