RE: Embarassment with service (Full Version)

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CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/4/2008 6:54:56 PM)

quote:

Ok I was just arguing semantics of what sex was sorry.


coloure,

You had a good point, do not back down so easy.

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/4/2008 6:56:52 PM)

quote:

For me the feelings of not being in control were far more profound then feelings of embaressment.


Omega,

thanks for that thought, mit alone might be the fodder for a new thread.

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/4/2008 6:59:40 PM)

quote:

I just don't personally buy into the idea that D/s sex and vanilla sex are two different things


pepper,

But min vanilla relationships a fem can tell the requestor to go fly a kite!! No?

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/4/2008 7:03:38 PM)

quote:

we're talking about what CP and his subs do, and for him, sex is a big part of his D/s exchanges with his partners.


Prolific,

Now there is an example of taking literary license with my thought/question.
Nowhere do I imply what I do with my subs, past, present or future.

smiles,

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/4/2008 7:07:05 PM)

quote:

and you know this how? is this another general assumpton about submissives in my age group?


lilgirl,

does the word many equate to an absolute for you?

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/4/2008 7:09:43 PM)

quote:

what kind of sick bitch would do that", they said, "go get some help".


Mercnt,

I am so glad you found that help.

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/4/2008 7:12:17 PM)

quote:

I'm just saying.

subtee,

Well please continue.

CP

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sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/4/2008 7:20:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

and you know this how? is this another general assumpton about submissives in my age group?


lilgirl,

does the word many equate to an absolute for you?

CP

you're the one who equates that women within my age only know of sex from what we experienced from nilla relationships. 

care to assess how you came up with that blatant assumption?





subtee -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/4/2008 7:22:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

I'm just saying.

subtee,

Well please continue.

CP

<http://www.collarchat.com/image/s4.gif>



I can't...I slid off my chair.



leakylee -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/4/2008 8:47:34 PM)

Here is a theroy. I am one of those women that didnt bust out until I was 30. I wont attempt to speak for my age group en mass, but I know that the females in my family. That for many of the girls that were brought up around here, masturbation was something private, if not down right dirty. That social stingma still holds sway in our little conservative area of the world. So busting that out with a partner remains a fairly private matter.

It amazes me that we had  fairly looser morals on shared activities, but that one was a one person only job. Personally it remains so. As to getting over the embrassment, if you trust someone enough to get you naked, is this really something that will cause you harm or detriement? If it pleases and can expand your own personal horizons get on it.

smooches
lee



peppermint -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/4/2008 9:07:28 PM)

quote:

But min vanilla relationships a fem can tell the requestor to go fly a kite!! No?


CP, why would you think Gary would order me to do something sexually that i wouldn't be happy doing?  My hard limits haven't changed even though i've gone from a vanilla relationship to a D/s one. 

Our sex life does not consist of him ordering me to do this...move that way...turn slightly to the left.  Our sex life is mutual enjoyment....and we do enjoy it together as partners.  I am glad he doesn't consider it necessary to nit pick our sex life and orchestrate it.  That would make it more like work for him and it's supposed to be fun....for both of us. 



BBWnNC72 -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/5/2008 3:03:32 AM)

i found this life in my middle 30's.  but on learning what i like and don't like and embarrassement. i found a trainer who helped me discover what i enjoy and don't enjoy.  i think going the way of a trainer helped me alot.  of course there was a lot of embarrassement, LOL, "normal people" don't do alot of what He was helping me discover.  "people with morals" don't let others do the "sick and depraved" things to them.  i had to overcome that and just do what i liked and enjoyed. i still get embarrassed about doing things for my Dom, who was my trainer, but i think that it has to do with how i view my own self.  but i have learned to just try new things. i am lucky i found a caring trainer who just wanted me to try things, if i was really against it after i tried it, that was it, done, wouldn't have to do it again. 
now, so people don't get all hot under the collar, the remarks in qoutations are things that went through my mind when i first started out on this wonderful journey.



TysGalilah -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/5/2008 4:28:53 AM)

CP
 
  ( assuming that the basic trust in the person and security in ones safety is already in place ) ..
 
 you just do it..  : )
perhaps the "embarrassment" or emotional difficulty is not meant to be removed to considered?
 
 Much of my personal growth in my sexuality is because our Ds dynamic and his control didn't allow my embarrassment or hesitations to manipulate or control what he chose or wanted to have happen.
 
much of the trust in our relationship was firmly established early on BECAUSE his wishes were put before mine ( by me) and I forced myself to ignore my , at times, overwhelming embarrassment and modesty.
 
If he waited for me to be "comfortable"  completely nekkid and exposed to him>  10 yrs later he still wouldn't have seen me nekkid.
 
Standing before him naked and watching him look and scrutinize ever inch of my body> was probably right up there with the hardest sexual things I have ever done.> and I can still recall how badly I was shaking with nerves and wanted to run or cover myself with something..
If I had> or if he hadn't insisted and insisted I open my eyes and look straight into his eyes> I would have missed out on experiencing and truly seeing the DESIRE in his eyes and how he sees me.
It paved the way for alot of openness and trust....alot future sexual courage and boldness..
 
imo
some "envelopes" are meant to be pushed .
Being instructed to write my erotic poem & first story of erotica, or masturbate in front of him> was more intimate, vulnerable, exposing, difficult, emotionally humilitating and strength of submission building than anything he could have sexually done to or with me early on.  I was prepared to be fucked and lashed....but I wasn't prepared to be emotionally exposed.  He knew it, he worked me through it. Hence, I felt his control more intensely than if he had physically bound me and used my body. I ,also, felt my submission with the same intensity.
 
  If he had let my personal emotional limitations stop him from gently encouraging and pushing me past my ideas of what was embarrassing or difficult for me to do> we both would have missed out on some amazingly deep experiences later on.
 
I just did it and trusted in him and his choices.
For me, I hated the humilation or embarrassment but am now grateful for it all happening just as it did.
 
(as a personal side-bar >  one of my personal goals in finding a way do express and feel  my submission>  was the desire and ability to feel ALL my feelings!  "becareful what you ask for............."   right ? LOL )
 
I hope this came close to addressing your initial thoughts..
 
Cyndi
 
 
 
 



denika -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/5/2008 5:10:58 AM)

I fall into the statistic of not exploring my masochistic tendencies until I was in my thirties but my primary relationship prior to that was far from vanilla,just not S/m or BDSM based.
I am terribly shy when it comes to sex, I am a perv *S* and have done some very intresting, public things *ss* I still have some things ingrained in me, masturbating infront of anyone, even my husband of 17 years is a challenge, having sex with him or Wolf infront of people--no problem[:)] as long as  it's not a solo act I'm good :) Same as  talking dirty, I suck at it, truly and I drive Wolf's wife around the bend whenever I call my body parts 'my bits' lol 


Wolf's denika



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/5/2008 10:27:52 AM)

quote:

f the trust was not present... i would not be there at all, let alone be there to masterbate infront of Him!


Greetings trusting,

trust is a good and necessary thing but the sugject is embarrassment.

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/5/2008 10:29:34 AM)

quote:

2) Just do it with the understanding that your Sir is going to be there to assist you with sifting through and dealing with the feelings that will absolutely come up.


Mistress,

I choose door number 2! thanks for your input.

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/5/2008 10:33:48 AM)

quote:

Personally, what I find is relief that I can finally be and explore myself and my desires that seemed to be shunned by others in the past. What seems harder to overcome, at times, is the programing of past relationships that said 'these' interests were sick, twisted or perverted and now being with someone that it interested in experiencing them with me.


Saya,

I believe that you touched on one of the core benefits of the path. / thanks for sharing.

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/5/2008 10:35:59 AM)

quote:

I don't do sexual anything until trust is built. There would be no scene. (Assuming you mean that this Sir is someone with whom I am in a new relationship.)


bat, Well to tell the truth, if you have a collar, I would assume that the trust is there, regardless if it was new or not.

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/5/2008 10:41:48 AM)

quote:

Without the trust, I would muddle my way through unhappily and no one in the room would be very happy.


bound,

errrrrrrr I was assuming a private setting, grins but thanks anyway.

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/5/2008 10:48:53 AM)

quote:

you're the one who equates that women within my age only know of sex from what we experienced from nilla relationships.

care to assess how you came up with that blatant assumption?



lilgirl,

well I could but now I am certain that your mind is not objective enough to place any value on it / have a great day!

CP



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