RE: Embarassment with service (Full Version)

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CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/5/2008 10:50:52 AM)

quote:

I can't...I slid off my chair.



subtee,

damn, dangling modifyers just abound here / I do hope it was a great slide.

CP



branbran77 -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/5/2008 10:58:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

While not yielding the principle that D/s is more about mental control then sexual control; sex is still a major part of the D/s dynamic.

Many submissives come into this lifestyle in their 30' or 40's and have experienced generally only vanilla sex / thus the question how does a submissive get past that embarrassment of some forms of sexual demands.

Example, if your Sir reequired you to masterbate yourself while he watched. Untill that special candor and trust is built, how do you handle the scene?

CP


My Daddy had me masterbate our first session....iv allways been embarrassed about it...but i wanted to please him more then anything....so i did....another thing that helped...i was blindfolded[:D]



CalifChick -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/5/2008 11:18:48 AM)

I got over any embarrassment about sexual activities about 20 years ago.  Masturbating in front of someone else? It's not I find it embarrassing, it's that it's, well, boring.  I'd rather have HIM touching me than ME touching me... hell I can do that any time I want. 

This has been an interesting read though.

Cali



Satina -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/5/2008 8:49:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: denika

Same as  talking dirty, I suck at it, truly and I drive Wolf's wife around the bend whenever I call my body parts 'my bits' lol 


Wolf's denika
Yes, yes you do drive me nuts when you call them bits, but, I love you anyway! =)


Satina



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Embarrassment with service (3/5/2008 9:28:13 PM)

About two weeks ago we had a very shy sub down for a visit and it took a lot of encouragement to even get her to think about masturbating in front of us ,it came down to a glass of wine and the lights turn down to get her in the mood.So there she was blindfolded and told to please me by getting herself off.I failed to mention that I was going to video the whole thing..She proceeded slowly but warmed up very quickly..after several loud earth shattering orgasms she was exhausted,,,,You wouldn't believe the look of wonderment as she watch as it all  unfolded....a smile that lite up the room as she watched her grand performance...A very happy young woman left  the next day with the tape as her prized possion ...No matter where you turn sex is a part of our world d/s vanilla..pentration or the good ol' mind fuck,I don't know about the rest of you but I wouldn't have it any other way....



Violetta01 -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/5/2008 9:35:23 PM)

I have had two Masters and both have asked me to perform sexual services that embarressed me, initially. It was a struggle and sometimes can still be uncomfortable for me because I am shy. I try to keep in mind that this is what was asked of me because it gives the Master pleasure. The feeling of dissapointing him is worse than my own discomfort/shyness. So I gut it out and plow ahead. In the end I am always happy that I did it. I have learned new skills and been pushed outside of my shyness, which can hold me back from enjoying many things and delivering the best service possible.

If you feel you lack the skills to perform the request, ask to be lead or trained. Then you are really in it together and it will give you courage.
Good luck.



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/6/2008 12:01:06 AM)

quote:

It amazes me that we had fairly looser morals on shared activities,
leakylee,

But that is the point of the D/s path, to create/change the vanilla moral code.
thanks for sharing,

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/6/2008 12:05:38 AM)

quote:

CP, why would you think Gary would order me to do something sexually that i wouldn't be happy doing?


pepper,

we drift from the main subject, but to your point, I do not think he would order you so long as there is a frying pan handy.

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/6/2008 12:10:40 AM)

quote:

"people with morals" don't let others do the "sick and depraved" things to them.


smiles,

BBW

and yet that same thought crosses the mind of so many newcomers until the liberation occurs.

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/6/2008 12:16:15 AM)

quote:

I hope this came close to addressing your initial thoughts..


cyndi,

well indeed it did and I do thank you for sharing your viewpoint.

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/6/2008 12:22:14 AM)

quote:

masturbating infront of anyone, even my husband of 17 years is a challenge, having sex with him or Wolf infront of people--no problem


denika,

grins, you present an interesting line to be crossed. thanks for sharing.

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/6/2008 12:26:31 AM)

quote:

another thing that helped...i was blindfolded <http://www.collarchat.com/image/s2.gif>


branbran,

blindfolding, is a deprivation, but for you it worked out, can you now do so without blindfolding?

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/6/2008 12:29:05 AM)

quote:

hell I can do that any time I want.


chick,

smiles, but masterbation was only an example; there are other activiites.

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarrassment with service (3/6/2008 12:34:01 AM)

quote:

A very happy young woman left the next day with the tape as her prized possion .


BH,

Well you do know how to address the issue, she is forever in your debt.

CP



MissMagnolia -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/6/2008 12:47:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

sex is still a major part of the D/s dynamic.

Ok, this really pisses me off. The general consensus that relationships HAVE to have sex involved. Why is it so hard to believe or understand that an intimate relationship; whether 'vanilla' or BDSM, or M/s/D/s;  with another can be non-sexual in nature?


I'm with you IrishMist on this. Sex has never been a part of my D/s relationships.

I've noticed a subs profile on the other side that says that he's here, as all of us are, looking for sexual gratification. Many of us are not and it is a huge misconception to believe that we are all here for some kind of sexual payoff.

For those who are, bloody good luck to you (ya dirty little buggers[:D]), but it's not the case with everyone.




petpete -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/6/2008 1:07:22 AM)

You can stay a frigid if You want. Your allowed and excused to be so.



hopelessfool -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/6/2008 1:18:51 AM)

CP

Personally I simply close my eyes take a deep breath and remember one of two things.

If my owners ordering it, hes getting some pleasure from it, even if its my embarassment

If I do not comply, what will my punishment be, is it worth showing him the displeasure or not.

Even if the relationship is new and buddying, or if its old and built. There are somethings that are hard to overcome, weither it be masturbation or being naked infront of a group of his friends. Its all about knowing where to push and what to push. My owner would know from the start, the easist way to get me to do something. Is challenge me, making it seem to them that its not something I can do. If the dom knows their sub, He knows where to push to get her to do something, and what do with her actually doing it. It can be with in the first few conversations that the dom knows his sub. It can take him years. Its all about the person and how perceptive they are. In my Opinion.




eyesopened -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/6/2008 1:46:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
Example, if your Sir reequired you to masterbate yourself while he watched. Untill that special candor and trust is built, how do you handle the scene?


Could be because I'm in my twenties but I don't really see that as all that kinky or interesting. I've seen it suggested as something to spice up your sex life in plenty of "normal" magazines aimed at women. Sure it could be difficult, but so it getting naked in front of someone for the first time. Less of a BDSM issue, more of a run of the mill confidence one.


Heck, i'll be 55 this Sunday and i really don't see it as kinky or D/s either.  i absolutely agree with AquaticSub that it's more a confidence issue than a BDSM issue. 

How have i handled such things?  Well, my dear departed aunt once told me "Honey, men love naked women.  And if you're the only naked woman in the room, he's gonna love you!"   *smiles, gawd i miss that woman*  my only confidence issues arise when there are more than one naked woman in the room.



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/6/2008 10:45:42 AM)

quote:

Even if the relationship is new and buddying, or if its old and built. There are somethings that are hard to overcome, weither it be masturbation or being naked infront of a group of his friends. Its all about knowing where to push and what to push. My owner would know from the start, the easist way to get me to do something. Is challenge me, making it seem to them that its not something I can do. If the dom knows their sub, He knows where to push to get her to do something, and what do with her actually doing it. It can be with in the first few conversations that the dom knows his sub. It can take him years. Its all about the person and how perceptive they are. In my Opinion.



hopeless,

with such analogy, you will never be hopeless. thanks for your input.

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: Embarassment with service (3/6/2008 10:49:35 AM)

quote:

my only confidence issues arise when there are more than one naked woman in the room.
[/quote

eyes,

tho your reply was re Aquatic, I simply say you need not have confidence issues.

CP




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