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who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:01:13 PM   
Mastersplitlicke


Posts: 19
Joined: 2/7/2008
Status: offline 		If this has been posted to death already, sorry
Just been woundering about  "the chase" for a DOM or a sub
The  idea of a sub chasing a DOM or starting the conversation or making first contact.
Is that so wrong ?  Thinking about vanilla and the old fashion way I guess, of the man chasing the woman.
And as i am a man and looking for a woman sub seems that is the case in this lifestyle. Or perhaps its just the number of men over the number of woman like most sites. The woman have so many man chasing them there is no need.  I am happy being single,  and in no hurry. The ex made me cautions I guess.
Or i need more JD , or better pills


Profile   Post #: 1
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:04:19 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		On the other side of the coin/whip, there are Doms who refuse to "chase," meaning they won't make first contact.

Have some more JD.

~clink~ Cheers!


_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to Mastersplitlicke)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:07:52 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		You asked "is that so wrong"... who says it is wrong? Who says it is wrong for either party to make the first contact or to refuse to make the first?  I'm ready, tell me who.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:09:23 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		i think some subs are afraid to make contact for various reasons.  i know that in the past, even by looking at a doms profile, i've all but been accosted and all i wanted to do was look.   looking is interpreted by some doms as the sub saying " i want to have your baby", it makes one a little leary of perving profiles and making contact....

edited to add, i'm sure this happens to doms too.  i dont' think it matters who initiates contact when it all comes down to it.  making contact isn't domly or subly one way or the other, what i do think matters is the  manner in which the contact is made.

< Message edited by christine1 -- 3/5/2008 5:15:29 PM >

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3


He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:09:52 PM   
womyn


Posts: 216
Joined: 12/10/2007
Status: offline 		well is it anymore wrong than a woman asking a man out for a regular date or for his phone number?

Hi Subtee long time no see . . . >>giving a big hug and kiss<<

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:09:53 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

The idea of a sub chasing a DOM or starting the conversation or making first contact.
Is that so wrong ?


It's not wrong.  It's not a realistic thing to expect though.

(in reply to Mastersplitlicke)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:12:19 PM   
womyn


Posts: 216
Joined: 12/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken

quote:

The idea of a sub chasing a DOM or starting the conversation or making first contact.
Is that so wrong ?


It's not wrong.  It's not a realistic thing to expect though.

alas, I would have to agree!

(in reply to TracyTaken)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:12:55 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		My dog chases his tail.  Is there any meaning in that?

BadOne


_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to TracyTaken)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:13:41 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hey womyn, nice to see you too. Your food thread I just read had me drooling...and seeing you again.

XO

hijack over!


_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to womyn)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:15:13 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Several female subs have emailed me first.  However, this didn't start until I became a regular forum poster.  Remember what christine1 wrote.  If the ladies see that you're not Mr. Desperate Blueballs, and you actually have a brain and a life, they might think you are (1) interesting, and (2) safe to approach.  Just having a profile up isn't good enough though.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to TracyTaken)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:18:30 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken

quote:

The idea of a sub chasing a DOM or starting the conversation or making first contact.
Is that so wrong ?


It's not wrong.  It's not a realistic thing to expect though.


Why is it not realistic?  That's exactly how I met SimplyMichael.  I receive pages and pages of emails daily, yet I read his posts and chose to write to him...

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to TracyTaken)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:18:58 PM   
SubbieOnWheels


Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline 		In a vanilla situation, there's a certain amount of risk - and I mean risk of physical danger.
In a BDSM situation, there's even more risk.
It's enough to make a person who is not physically strong want to hide in a corner and hire a yentl.
So we have to grow backbones, develop a modicum of courage, and handle things in the best way we know how. I am not convinced my judgment is to be relied upon in selecting a likely Dom, so I tend to wait for them to contact me. That's just me. There are undoubtedly subs whose judgment is good, and who can select appropriately.
I envy them.

_____________________________

Bethical
Beat me, strike me, take away my reindeer! I'll never tell! -- Walt Kelly, Pogo Possum
I yam what I yam - Popeye

http://www.myspace.com/bethical_wheels


(in reply to TracyTaken)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:20:10 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Wait...you're not Mr. Desperate Blueballs? Sheeit. I rescind my (desperate) messages.

My kink is okay, man!


_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:21:15 PM   
probablyknowme


Posts: 1875
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		Too true, RedMagic. I know that most of the people I have contacted, both male and female (and Dom and sub for that matter), have been people I have come to know by their words here on the forums. It's nice to know that I can hold some semblance of an intelligent conversation with someone.

kat

_____________________________

The human mind is like a TV set. When it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.
-Anon.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NewcomersOK/


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:21:33 PM   
Mastersplitlicke


Posts: 19
Joined: 2/7/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Several female subs have emailed me first.  However, this didn't start until I became a regular forum poster.  Remember what christine1 wrote.  If the ladies see that you're not Mr. Desperate Blueballs, and you actually have a brain and a life, they might think you are (1) interesting, and (2) safe to approach.  Just having a profile up isn't good enough though.

I was talking with a friend of mine  "sub" she say's not if you ask me lol and talking about this stuff a few days ago just was wondering what others thought

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:41:33 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: womyn

quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken

quote:

The idea of a sub chasing a DOM or starting the conversation or making first contact.
Is that so wrong ?


It's not wrong.  It's not a realistic thing to expect though.

alas, I would have to agree!


Of course it is entirely realistic. Why wouldn't it be?



(in reply to womyn)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:47:11 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		She may be submissive to the right one, who obviously is not you. She has as much right to pick her dominant as you have to pick a compatible sub.

Yes, women can and sometimes do email men. However women here get tons of email. We don't need to search profiles when we can have ten or more emails daily.

Now RedMagic wouldn't have any trouble finding a compatible sub if he were looking, because his attitude in the fora is that he is a genuinely good guy, who likes and values his female partner. Most men who write women here don't have that attitude. We get whines and demands and a strong whiff of desperation which is never attractive. If you want a better response to your emails, write better emails. It really is that simple.

Oh, and in case anyone is interested it ought to be "who is chasing whom".

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Mastersplitlicke)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 5:52:34 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Well.. I don't chase men.  If that means that in this lifestyle I am unlikely to be found, then so be it.  I have always preferred being the game, not the predator. 
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Mastersplitlicke)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 6:03:28 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Several female subs have emailed me first.  However, this didn't start until I became a regular forum poster.  Remember what christine1 wrote.  If the ladies see that you're not Mr. Desperate Blueballs, and you actually have a brain and a life, they might think you are (1) interesting, and (2) safe to approach.  Just having a profile up isn't good enough though.


Yep!  Although they never said I had a brain.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: who is chasing who - 3/5/2008 6:11:54 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mastersplitlicke

If this has been posted to death already, sorry
Just been woundering about  "the chase" for a DOM or a sub
The  idea of a sub chasing a DOM or starting the conversation or making first contact.
Is that so wrong ?  Thinking about vanilla and the old fashion way I guess, of the man chasing the woman.
And as i am a man and looking for a woman sub seems that is the case in this lifestyle. Or perhaps its just the number of men over the number of woman like most sites. The woman have so many man chasing them there is no need.  I am happy being single,  and in no hurry. The ex made me cautions I guess.
Or i need more JD , or better pills





Neither my Master nor I "chased."  He contacted me on a different site, though, and introduced himself.  We continued talking over time, but for the first week or so I never contacted him first; I was just too shy, believe it or not.  When he told me he would enjoy hearing from me daily, I began contacting him daily, but prior to that, it just felt too awkward for me to contact him.  He has had other girls contact him initially, though.  He doesn't have a protocol for that; things happen naturally as they should.

I have had dominant friends who insisted they never made first contact, and it worked for them.  It's just a matter of preference, I suppose.

(in reply to Mastersplitlicke)
Profile   Post #: 20
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