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RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/7/2008 8:17:35 PM

Kirata

Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelslave77

speech restrication, if ya cant speak ya cant be blowing up at him

Command her to silence? If she doesn't obey in the first place, when he (doubtless) tells her to get a grip on her shit, why would a different command from him meet with any better luck?

It's not a rhetorical question. The answer is, because she got him to do what she wants.

K.

< Message edited by Kirata -- 3/7/2008 8:26:12 PM >

(in reply to angelslave77)

Post #: 41

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/8/2008 7:15:19 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsnow

If you don't like humiliation, that would be a good one. My Dom once punished me by having me buy diapers at the store (which was fine because I'm used to that) and then asking the cashier if there was a bathroom that I could use to change in (which was the punishment). I was COMPLETELY mortified. That was a hard one for me to deal with for some reason.

Did he happen to know the cashier and was sure she wouldn't be upset? Because pushing your kink on innocents is reprehensible.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to subsnow)

Post #: 42

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/8/2008 8:04:17 AM

subsnow

Posts: 152
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsnow

If you don't like humiliation, that would be a good one. My Dom once punished me by having me buy diapers at the store (which was fine because I'm used to that) and then asking the cashier if there was a bathroom that I could use to change in (which was the punishment). I was COMPLETELY mortified. That was a hard one for me to deal with for some reason.

Did he happen to know the cashier and was sure she wouldn't be upset? Because pushing your kink on innocents is reprehensible.

I know, I know. I've had this discussion before. He didn't know the cashier but I personally don't think it was a big deal. The cashier had no idea that his question had to do with our kink. For all she knew, he was just letting out a little too much personal information. She'll get over it.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 43

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/8/2008 8:11:33 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsnow

If you don't like humiliation, that would be a good one. My Dom once punished me by having me buy diapers at the store (which was fine because I'm used to that) and then asking the cashier if there was a bathroom that I could use to change in (which was the punishment). I was COMPLETELY mortified. That was a hard one for me to deal with for some reason.

Did he happen to know the cashier and was sure she wouldn't be upset? Because pushing your kink on innocents is reprehensible.

For all the cashier knew, she wasn't being kinky but really had a need. Would it be reprehensible if she had a legitimate need? And how would the cashier know the difference? If someone were mentally challenged and did this, would it still be reprehensible? What is so mentally upsetting to the cashier in this scenario? Maybe it was the most amusing thing the cashier had seen all day, and he/she needed a laugh. Why do we assume that anything other than "normal" and "predictable" behavior is traumatic to others? Something like the above could be a scenario anyone - D/s or not - could pull on each other as a prank.

I know you feel strongly about such things, but since I strongly disagree, I wanted to voice my counter-opinion. If we all behaved the same in this world and lived to not offend others in any way, at any time, I believe it would be a boring world to live in.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 44

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/8/2008 8:47:00 AM

SinergyNstrumpet

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

Well ownedgirlie, I agree for the most part. But at the same time it is kinda rude on a level to announce what one wants to do in a public restroom to strangers. I mean, I do not go around buying tampax and then announcing to all those standing in line "Hey, where is your toilet, I need to pop a cork in the ol' tunnel fast!" It just seems somewhat rude, like announcing that one has to "take a dump" in mixed company.

I am sure the cashier has witnessed rude behavior before... but it does not make it right.

Just my thoughts...

~Sinergy's strumpet~

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 45

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/8/2008 8:57:54 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Yes, agreed, but the world is made up of all kinds, and there will be those who are appropriate and polite and those who are uncooth. It's not like she said, "I need to put these on...I swear I have the runs so bad I can't hold 'em anymore." She just asked where the bathroom was so she could change.

Honestly, kink or no kink, when I was a cashier at Longs in my youth (or for Ron, in my yout), I might have snickered to myself, but I wouldn't think much else of it. I've seen more rudeness between BDSM'ers on this message board (on issues having nothing to do with kink) than out in the public.

I honestly don't see what she did as rude or offensive. I obviously see it differently than others.

(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)

Post #: 46

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/8/2008 9:17:44 AM

SinergyNstrumpet

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

I do not see it as a kink issue, I do not find it reprehensible. That is why I stated I agreed for the most part with you.

I am expected to be very polite in public places, saying please, thank you, excuse me all the time when we are out and about. It is just a part of our dynamic, and I enjoy this aspect of what we have because being polite in public comes very naturally to me because I was reared that way. Daddy would see my doing what this submissive was ordered to do as being rude. He would never order me to be rude like that. He may order me to stand up for myself, or to not take crap off of others, but he would never encourage me to be rude in public to service people by giving them TMI about my bodily functions...Our dynamic works for us, the world is made up of all different kinds.

For Celeste it would be involving others in her kink to do such a thing. It would be beyond her societal norms to engage in that behavior. Some people do not find passing gas in public to be embarassing, some do. Some were raised that one behaves a certain way and to deviate from that would be exceptionally crass... others are more relaxed about such things. We all have to live with each other in the long run, and if I were that cashier I would have just thought that the person who did that was not well raised, or that they had very little class. If that is the image a dominant wants for his sub/slave.... that is their choice. It is not what my Daddy wants from me, and I suppose that is why we work.

But I do not find what was ordered to be morally reprehensible at all, I just wonder about the kind of image someone wants to project through their sub....

~Sinergy's strumpet~

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 47

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/8/2008 1:02:20 PM

Asstrospy

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

Physical or emotional punishment is not the question here. The real question is how to get your Master to get to know you better? If he knew you better, he would know exactly the best way to control you.

However, if you must an emotional punishment, I would shave your head and have you smear your own shit all over your body and call you a shity sub/slave repeatedly. And yes you will clean the mess up when I was done with you. Of course, that will not be until the shit has dried completely and started to flack from your skin. A ball gag might be in order too, since you obviously have an outburst problem.

I obviously don't know you and the punishment probably is too extreme. Work on your relationship with your Master.

(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)

Post #: 48

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/8/2008 1:25:51 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinergyNstrumpet
We all have to live with each other in the long run, and if I were that cashier I would have just thought that the person who did that was not well raised, or that they had very little class. If that is the image a dominant wants for his sub/slave.... that is their choice. It is not what my Daddy wants from me, and I suppose that is why we work.

Hi again strumpet. :)

We agree. And what I quoted above is why I believe her Dom considered it punishment. My Master knows the standards of etiquette with which I was raised, and that it is important for me to behave according to those standards. For this reason, he sometimes puts me in situations that are the antithesis of those standards - because of the humiliation factor, because it pleases him to know I will do it anyway, and because it amuses him to see me struggle. It has nothing to do with the image he wants for me as a whole; he knows I will likely never see these people again, and doesn't care what they think. So far he has never compromised my image before friends, family and colleagues, and before he puts me in a weird position with them, he'll ask "How do you think 'so-n-so' would react if I had you do 'such-n-such'?"

But with general strangers, yes, he likes to toy with me that way. Some thinks that makes him an asshole...but he doesn't care about that, either.

(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)

Post #: 49

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/8/2008 5:18:12 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Additionally, I live in a small town. So here, that would also mean that a great many people would suddenly be taking me aside and telling me the name of the doctor who helped their incontinence problem. And a great many others would be snickering, Plus as the cashiers are often young, and friends of my offspring or offspring of my friends, I would consider this inappropriate to push this onto an underage person who is accustomed to being in my home.

But as I said, if someone is having this kind of anger problem, I wouldn't be so full of hubris to assume I could fix it without knowing why it was occuring. I would have them at a health professional's office immediately starting with a primary and then onto a neurologist, a psychiatrist and a clinical psychologist. Which as I recall is what I did when my oldest had anger problems. The first test administered was thyroid since that was in his experience the usual culprit. After that came two years of medication which effectively shut down the rage pathways in the brain. In the years since then she has had only one episode, and that in a fugue state brought on by repeated harassment. So perhaps I take anger problems more seriously than others here do.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 50

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/8/2008 5:36:32 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

quote:

t has nothing to do with the image he wants for me as a whole; he knows I will likely never see these people again, and doesn't care what they think.

My Daddy does not care what other people think... he does care what he thinks about how I behave. He just really gets off on my having good manners. Our thing

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 51

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/8/2008 5:50:22 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Additionally, I live in a small town. So here, that would also mean that a great many people would suddenly be taking me aside and telling me the name of the doctor who helped their incontinence problem. And a great many others would be snickering, Plus as the cashiers are often young, and friends of my offspring or offspring of my friends, I would consider this inappropriate to push this onto an underage person who is accustomed to being in my home.

This makes sense to me. I am accustomed to a metropolitan area which eliminates that sort of stress. The short time I did live in small town USA while belonging to him, he took that well into consideration and only had me do "embarrassing" stuff when I was out of town.

Thanks for clarifying your position, and for respecting mine.

quote:

But as I said, if someone is having this kind of anger problem, I wouldn't be so full of hubris to assume I could fix it without knowing why it was occuring.

I very much agree with this, too. When I had my anger issues, I was punished for them, yes (I needed that at the time), but also had to engage in lots and lots of conversations and essays for him, as well as sought counseling (professionally and in two very good friends who understood how it played into my slavery), and was able to resolve my issues which brought it about.

I support that the important thing is to find out what's at the crux of it, and fix it.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 52

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/8/2008 7:49:32 PM

msterfixer

Posts: 78
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline

Try having the emotion severed by silence and disregard. Ouch!

(in reply to lilone2087)

Post #: 53

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/8/2008 10:01:08 PM

MasterLDesade

Posts: 67
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline

DesFIP , Do not make Diagnosis if you are not a Dr. I am a male Nurse and understand protocol better than most . Now to your "Kick em to the curb " crap you retort to my advice , shows your lack of B.D.S.M knowledge and the terminology used , or my dear one you would not have answered myself in such a fashion , because you would have Known what i meant and its meaning in relativity to a D/S relationship . I have a " Duty Of Care " towards my Sub/Slave which might not have ever been the subject in your training you missed . Do you not think any medical problems would have first been dealt with and addressed ? really come on now DesFIP . And " feel real proud " ......Yes i am ! by the above way the relative issue's would have been dealt with and not he dribble you come into the Master's Forum with and present . I have respect for the Mistress's Column and would you mind showing them in respect of where you are , once again a taste of your Training one i would not Drink from .

TraceyTaken appologies for the letter responce to you as obviously it was for the respondant above yourself and my eyesite is not as good as it was re-keyboard , plz take no offence as not meant for you .
Regards
MasterLDesade

< Message edited by MasterLDesade -- 3/8/2008 10:07:14 PM >

(in reply to TracyTaken)

Post #: 54

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/9/2008 9:55:58 AM

greeneyedreamer

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

So far with a new dom i haven't had to be punished.. We'll see... I can be feisty... but never disrespectful.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 55

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/9/2008 10:12:27 AM

SinergyNstrumpet

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I have respect for the Mistress's Column and would you mind showing them in respect of where you are , once again a taste of your Training one i would not Drink from .

Not all of us are "trained", not all of us are "slaves", not all of us are taught that dominant people deserve more respect than any other sort of people. I am just saying that you seem to be taking huge leaps as to what other dominant sorts expect in regard to their submissive sorts.. it ain't universal you know. Yes, some of us can offer any opinion we like to anyone we want. I am allowed to do that, as long as I do not question the dominance of another dominant, or name call them. I am even allowed to have opinions that differ from my Daddy and to express those opinions.

Anyone is allowed to post in the master's forum within the TOS, and celeste did not break the TOS by expressing her opinion. The only authority any of us are required to respect here is that of mod 11

~Sinergy's strumpet~

(in reply to MasterLDesade)

Post #: 56

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/9/2008 1:20:57 PM

MISTRESSKUMA

Posts: 226
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline

I don't blame you, being physically hit is abuse when you don't really want it. (Some men who are just mean violent assholes who won't care if you like it or not.) That's good your master cares. Personally I have to go with emotional ignorance.

(in reply to lilone2087)

Post #: 57

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/10/2008 6:47:05 AM

thefirst121

Posts: 28
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I imagine all you kick em to the curb folks would feel real proud if the kicked one came back in six months to mention that someone finally got her to a doctor, and the outbursts stopped once the brain tumor was removed or the thyroid problem was diagnosed. The most common cause of uncontrolled outbursts happens to be thyroid. This from one of the nation's premier pediatric neurologist's, professor at Colunbia Presbyterian Medical School.

As you are talking about my post I will reply to this. 'kick them to the curb is a expression meaning to send someone packing. It is not a physical act, so why would I act any different.

If the person had a medical problem that was undiagnosed then so be it, we are not supposed to know are we. I may have a Masters Degree, but not in medicine.

A Master has the responsibility for all inside inside of the play, not something outside of their control. I might have sympathy for the sub that had a medical problem, but never would I be or feel at fault for being the Dominant and acting in a appropriate way.

< Message edited by thefirst121 -- 3/10/2008 6:50:31 AM >

_____________________________

...Sir K...

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 58

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/10/2008 7:53:46 AM

SinergyNstrumpet

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

quote:

As you are talking about my post I will reply to this. 'kick them to the curb is a expression meaning to send someone packing. It is not a physical act, so why would I act any different.

If the person had a medical problem that was undiagnosed then so be it, we are not supposed to know are we. I may have a Masters Degree, but not in medicine.

A Master has the responsibility for all inside inside of the play, not something outside of their control. I might have sympathy for the sub that had a medical problem, but never would I be or feel at fault for being the Dominant and acting in a appropriate way.

I do not want to hijack this thread, but I wanted to ask you some questions...

If your submissive "acts up" and it is unusual for her, you just dump her ass? I do not believe my Daddy would agree with that. He is not a medical doctor. He is educated, very well educated, on human physiology. I have at times "acted up" because I was not feeling well. Now if I acted that way every day, was unwilling to go to the doctor to find out what was wrong. etc... he might walk away.... but that would not be the first step for him.

You know, sometimes a dominant can change their personality because of medical problems too... My Daddy had an injury last summer and surgery for that injury only happened a few weeks ago. He has been on this pain medication that changed his brain chemistry. He did not change all that much, but at times he was short with me and distant through this process. I did not kick him to the curb. I value people too much, and I do not think I could respect a dominant that did not love me enough to figure out what was wrong with me if I changed drastically, or did not make allowances for female problems like menopause.

Shit happens in life, commitment to each other when that shit happens is the test of not only the dynamic itself, but those in it. I passed the first test and so did he.

julia

(in reply to thefirst121)

Post #: 59

RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/10/2008 1:22:04 PM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The issue is not the punishment, the issue is your continued misbehavior. Until you work on the source of that, no real progress will be made.

i couldn't agree more with LA on this one.....

what works for some may not work for others

but the worst punnishment that i could ever be given mentally is to have Him take Himself away for an undefined amount of time. in all honesty for me it's one that leaves me as an emotional wreck scene but, when it's over with i cant say that i didn't learn whatever the lesson was to learn.

~meticulous~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 60

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