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RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/10/2008 3:36:05 PM

MasterLDesade

Posts: 67
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SinergyNStrumpet , In B.D.S.M what do these words mean ? . Discipline involves teaching this implies you are receiving training . Your Master must be initiating such a system or you are not in a D/S relationship and certain key elements must be there for this D/S relationship to exist . So there is a base line in training , which is exhibited by the the very dynamic D/S otherwise you are a vanilla trying to tell B.D.S.M "How to make a new wheel " & failing to recognize what world you are in . Your personal standard of training is only a reflection of how seriously you take where you are & its importance in reference to yourself , to me this is a personal reflection of the Standard of my Mastery and ability's and state of learning . Meaning where i am at at that particular time in my journey . Universal it is not you say , yet i bet you put on the " Dog " & do the look at me how well trained am i in public play or scenes you attend in this world , who's well trained now " Sigh " . Otherwise you would not be acceptable at any event or function , simple as that . The Mistress's collum has a current thread in relation to whom posts where . And if the authority of Mod11 is all you respect in here then per say this would not be a Master's Collum but Mod11's collum & your thought pattern on that is disturbing .
Regards
MasterLDesade

(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)

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RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/10/2008 3:51:10 PM

thefirst121

Posts: 28
Joined: 2/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SinergyNstrumpet

I do not want to hijack this thread, but I wanted to ask you some questions...

If your submissive "acts up" and it is unusual for her, you just dump her ass? I do not believe my Daddy would agree with that. He is not a medical doctor. He is educated, very well educated, on human physiology. I have at times "acted up" because I was not feeling well. Now if I acted that way every day, was unwilling to go to the doctor to find out what was wrong. etc... he might walk away.... but that would not be the first step for him.

Shit happens in life, commitment to each other when that shit happens is the test of not only the dynamic itself, but those in it. I passed the first test and so did he.

julia

quote:

i have recently blown up at my Master several times, and i have come to realize that physical punishments like whipping spanking or flogging do not do anything to me. What emotional or mental punishments are out there that we could try?

This was the original post and what I responded to. The several times is the point, this is a sub acting out trying to be punished, not someone with other problems and hence my post. They were looking for an answer to how to mentally or emotionally punish. "kicking to the curb" IS one way as well.

I in fact treat a sub well, but would not put up with this selfish brattishness.

Does this answer your query julia

< Message edited by thefirst121 -- 3/10/2008 3:52:13 PM >

_____________________________

...Sir K...

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RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/10/2008 4:37:45 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterLDesade

SinergyNStrumpet , In B.D.S.M what do these words mean ? . Discipline involves teaching this implies you are receiving training . Your Master must be initiating such a system or you are not in a D/S relationship and certain key elements must be there for this D/S relationship to exist . So there is a base line in training , which is exhibited by the the very dynamic D/S otherwise you are a vanilla trying to tell B.D.S.M "How to make a new wheel " & failing to recognize what world you are in . Your personal standard of training is only a reflection of how seriously you take where you are & its importance in reference to yourself , to me this is a personal reflection of the Standard of my Mastery and ability's and state of learning . Meaning where i am at at that particular time in my journey . Universal it is not you say , yet i bet you put on the " Dog " & do the look at me how well trained am i in public play or scenes you attend in this world , who's well trained now " Sigh " . Otherwise you would not be acceptable at any event or function , simple as that . The Mistress's collum has a current thread in relation to whom posts where . And if the authority of Mod11 is all you respect in here then per say this would not be a Master's Collum but Mod11's collum & your thought pattern on that is disturbing .
Regards
MasterLDesade

Perhaps it is my mood today, but I've been watching some exchanges here and feel inspired to comment on this, despite strumpet's ability to speak for herself. I am not intending to speak for her here, but this post was fraught with several things I wish to address.

First, not everyone who partakes in a D/s relationship engages in BDSM, either partially or totally. In this post you seem to assume that the two go hand in hand, when in actuality they do not. Many D/s relationships have no interest in BDSM and many BDSM relationships have no interest in D/s.

Also, to speak to a submissive in someone else's relationship in such a way as to define how she views her particular standard of education within that relationship is, in my opinion, proposterous. Unless of course you have intimate first hand knowledge of how her dominant (and in strumpet's case, she does not have a "Master") views the relationship and his short and long term goals for it.

I am also curious about your "I bet you put on...." comment and why you feel so enlightened as to how someone you do not know conducts herself. Unless of course I misunderstood your comment, as it was not very well constructed and therefore a bit confusing to the reader.

As to who posts where, it has been made clear on many occasions within the various forums here, that anyone is free to post on any forum. There was a rather colorful discussion some months back, in fact, in which some dominants on the "Ask a Master" forum were critical about submissives and slaves posting here, even when such submissives and slaves (myself included) had insightful information to share on behalf of their dominants. Ironically enough, several of those dominants in protest had submissives who were also posting on this board. Go figure. I wonder, though, as you feel strongly about the etiquette of who posts where, why you have posted advice on the Mistress forum.

Finally, and this is just a pet peeve of mine which I very rarely comment on these boards. But it is my opinion that when one chooses to chide another about behavior, conduct and the way in which the other's relationship is lived out, said critic would have more credibility if he or she spelled correctly: baseline, abilities, periods immediately following a word and not one space away, periods not following a question mark, etc. I realize this is petty and outside the norm of how I usually post here, but I think if one decides himself to be authorized to decide the submission of another in her relationship, he should do so with full credibility.

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RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/10/2008 6:08:43 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
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quote:

This was the original post and what I responded to. The several times is the point, this is a sub acting out trying to be punished, not someone with other problems and hence my post. They were looking for an answer to how to mentally or emotionally punish. "kicking to the curb" IS one way as well.

I in fact treat a sub well, but would not put up with this selfish brattishness.

Does this answer your query julia

Yes it does... thank you for answering.

I know my Daddy would not want to have a relationship with one that wanted punishments of any sort either, displeasing him is something that I avoid.

julia

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RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/10/2008 6:24:51 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
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I don't know any details of your life, so this is only a suggestion.

When I was in a relationship with my Master a few years back, I would periodically blow up at him for nothing at all. It was usually during times of a lot of stress. I'd always feel horrible about it afterwards, and feel guilty that he would have to discipline me, but that certainly didn't make it appropriate.

We talked about it, and he suggested that I may equate being hit (ie discipline) with care/love. Odd, but I suppose some people go for cuddles, and some go for a more physical kind of thing. I dunno... does that even make sense? Haha, it made sense in my head at least >.>

< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 3/10/2008 6:31:52 PM >

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RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/10/2008 6:32:40 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterLDesade

SinergyNStrumpet , In B.D.S.M what do these words mean ? . Discipline involves teaching this implies you are receiving training . Your Master must be initiating such a system or you are not in a D/S relationship and certain key elements must be there for this D/S relationship to exist . So there is a base line in training , which is exhibited by the the very dynamic D/S otherwise you are a vanilla trying to tell B.D.S.M "How to make a new wheel " & failing to recognize what world you are in . Your personal standard of training is only a reflection of how seriously you take where you are & its importance in reference to yourself , to me this is a personal reflection of the Standard of my Mastery and ability's and state of learning . Meaning where i am at at that particular time in my journey . Universal it is not you say , yet i bet you put on the " Dog " & do the look at me how well trained am i in public play or scenes you attend in this world , who's well trained now " Sigh " . Otherwise you would not be acceptable at any event or function , simple as that . The Mistress's collum has a current thread in relation to whom posts where . And if the authority of Mod11 is all you respect in here then per say this would not be a Master's Collum but Mod11's collum & your thought pattern on that is disturbing .
Regards
MasterLDesade

I am not in a M/s relationship. Daddy and I have a D/s relationship. He is not my master, he is my Daddy. He does not call what he does with me "training", as we feel that denotes a position of me being inferior to him, as in a dog. I am his submissive, not his slave. He disciplines me, yes, but he does not punish me... to us punishment denotes something punitive.

While Daddy has belonged to some lifestyle groups in the past, and has a membership to the Lair in LA, we have yet to go to public functions together as we live what we live all the time... our relationship and how it is structured is about pleasing us, living the way that we are happy with, and I do not think Daddy would give a fig if other people did not think he was "real" or that we are "vanilla". I love pleasing my Daddy, I love obeying my Daddy, I love being submissive to my Daddy. He does not have to spend a lot of time "training" me because I was raised fairly well already. I know how to act in accordance with his wishes pretty well already. We have been seeing each other fairly constantly for almost 2 years, and he has few complaints about my behavior.

Our relationship is not about pleasing other people who do BDSM for fun and go to public events. It is about us, and our families, and being there for each other. It is about playing scrabble, enjoying Catalina off season. It is about him deciding to tie me up and beat me when he feels like it, or having me refinish his frontroom furniture (or build his dressers at his instruction because his arm is injured.... smiles fondly).

Basically it is about being who we are to each other... which I naturally love doing what he wants, and he loves leading me.

As far as who I respect as far as authorities that post here on this site... well number one would be Daddy, who has far more control over what I post than mod 11 has interest in taking

. I agreed to the TOS, and I am honor bound to follow it, but I do not respect anyone here but Daddy... he is the only one I know. I do like others here and look forward to reading them... but deference is something only Daddy gets from me...

julia

edited for a PS

BDSM is about sex in my eyes... about being a sadist, a masochist, into bondage and physical discipline. My masochistic side is not about being submissive to me, it is about my sexuality on a different level. I am a submissive in my relationship and I am submissive sexually... but being a masochist does not make a person a submissive too... they can be mutually exclusive or inclusive. I just thought I would point out that there are many tops and bottoms in the lifestyle that do not have D/s or M/s relationships. I wouldn't want a relationship based on BDSM or the public scene. I am just not that into being a masochist to base my life on BDSM, and both Daddy and I have plenty of other mutual interests in this world besides sexual ones... just sayin

< Message edited by SinergyNstrumpet -- 3/10/2008 6:42:32 PM >

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RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/10/2008 9:49:15 PM

OnlyMels

Posts: 115
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I have a problem with either calling my daddy stupid or saying something he said or did was stupid. That is the one thing I can do that gets me in the most trouble. I can kick him in the balls and its not as bad. Before we were living together he would just refuse to talk to me and I believe after a really bad fight over that word we actually broke up which lasted maybe a night cause his mom bitched him out for breaking up with me. Which is why I love his mom. But I almost never say that word around him unless its about something totaly unrelated to him.

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RE: Emotional Punishments - 3/15/2008 3:42:35 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilone2087

It does not matter why i get angry, what matters in that physical punishments do not make me think about my behavior like emotional ones or mental ones do.

Actually...it does. Repression of issues only leads to deeper issues and more damagine, possibly more dangerous, blow-ups. (see strumpet's post).

I actually see this as two issues...number one, whatever is making you angry and your behavior on becoming angry. Number two, your decision that you will not/cannot submit to the punishments in the same fashion as you used to...i.e., learning from those things that you use to learn from. You can sit down and communicate...get across to him in a reasonable fashion that you are having difficulty learning anything from the physical punishments and that they may in fact be adding to your anger and to the disruption of the dynamic and suggest that you find ways together that might be more effective. But you have to remember that he is the one who still makes the final choice and that you have a responsibility to try and work in accordance with his decision. But if that does not work and he tries your way and then, it still does not work? Well then, you two will again be having a deep discussion. Perhaps what may be needed is what tempting suggested, a withdrawal of his dominance for awhile as you certainly seem to be withdrawing your submission.

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