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Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 10:53:46 AM

BoiJen

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I don't understand. On the net all you have is words...so if you're really trying to get a point across...like making yourself appealing to someone...one would think that you would do anything you could to be clear. That would include looking up the meaning of a word to make sure you're using the right one right?

So what is it with straight guys on BDSM sites in paricular using the word boi to describe themselves? I really just don't understand what they think when they use it. "Oh! I'm gonna stand out!"...by using an inappropriate word to describe yourself you only look like an idiot.

So here's a bit of info...

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boi_%28gender%29

Boi is a term used within the lesbian community to denote a submissive butch in the BDSM community and a young butch in the butch-femme community. It is also used as a term of endearment for butches by femmes.

It may also be used in the gay community to refer to a young-appearing (or relatively young) bisexual or gay male, especially one who has effeminate characteristics. The term can also be used by anyone who wishes to distinguish from heterosexual or heteronormative identities. The term is also commonly used by those who are female to male transgendered.[1]

It may also refer to a female-born or female-bodied person—sometimes transsexual, transgendered, or intersexed, sometimes not—that generally does not identify as, or only partially identifies as feminine, female, a girl, or a woman. Some "bois" identify as one or more of these, but they almost always identify as lesbians, dykes, or queers. Many are also genderqueer or practice genderfuck. Bois may prefer a range of pronouns, including "he", "she", or gender-neutral pronouns such as "hir", "sie", "zie", and "ey".[2]

The term has found increasing usage in the larger LGBT and mainstream cultures.

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:01:28 AM

MsIncontrol

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/3/2007
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Thanks Jen. I have seen this more commonly used lately and I always just shake my head at the straight men using this term. You would think they would at least know the meaning of the term before coining themselves with a screen name.

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:02:35 AM

colouredin

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Its also used as a slang word to mean boy thats just life i guess

ie sk8er boi its been taken on with its own connotations by youth subcultures, just as gay has differant meanings, gotta love the diversity of the english language

< Message edited by colouredin -- 3/6/2008 11:03:33 AM >

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:08:22 AM

BoiJen

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the word boi was originally used in the context of my original post. I personally think that it's use in "slang" is from the same use with straight guys who are lazy...

they are uncreative unimaginative in making up their handles...and instead of going wait...this might mean something they're so caught up in trying to get what they want they make an ass out of themsselves because they aren't educated about the meaning of a word.

That's my opinion of course.

And who says anyways that you have to be educated to use a word...people make asses out of themselves everyday now don't they?

As I go back to my original message...if you're on the net looking to make a positive and distinct impression...don't be lazy...the only thing it does is give someone a laugh at your expense

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:09:47 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
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From: Washington, DC area
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Thanks for this...

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:11:19 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
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Yeah but im pretty sure when the homosexual community took gay as slang people laughed at that too, ha dont they KNOW what it means. I mean personally I dont like the term, and i dont get abriviations that are the same length boi sexi all that crap bugs the hell out of me, but i also accept it is what they have decided to use and no they probably dont know the origins but the nature of etimology is that everything changes, meanings diversify, its why the English language is so rich and we have so many adjectives so though I may not like it personally I appriciate that its part of language devenlopment

< Message edited by colouredin -- 3/6/2008 11:12:48 AM >

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:11:41 AM

BoiJen

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lol....no problem ...I'm hoping only to make two points..one of educating...and the other that words do matter as do their meaning and proper use

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:12:54 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
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ohhhh you have intersexed in the definition!

call me boi willow or faery boi

< Message edited by faerytattoodgirl -- 3/6/2008 11:13:09 AM >

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:13:35 AM

colouredin

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nah doesnt suit you hun :P sexi gurl willow muuuuch better

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:13:57 AM

Owner4SexSlave

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Holy Crap Spanky, I just learned something new today. Actually, I'm rather shocked at this.   One of my best friends uses Boi as part of his known nickname.

Basically in this format, <first name> boi....

He's been using for it like 20 years now that I'm aware of.   He's a bit off an off the wall character anyways. He's straight as far as anything he's ever expressed to me, and he has had the same girlfriend for the last 10 years.

However, he is a bit of a freak. He has dressed up in drag playing out in bands before. You know fishnets and the whole nine yards.   It's been years since he's dressed up like this.   He proclaims to be a freak, and he's one of my few real time friends that knows all about my kinks and BDSM involvement.

Actually one night when we were somewhat drunked up playing an open mic gig.. he actually kissed me on my lips briefly.   Did not really both me because of the context it was in. Lions and Tigers and Bears... your post really has me thinking and wondering if there is something more to his name.

He's never once in the five years I've known him done or tried anything sexual on me.   He's really gets off flirting around with women, and well, he's not an innocent person. LOL... Mmmmmmmmmm....

I know he loves controversay and to have people always trying to second guess and figure him out. Basically, he basks in doing things that break the social jello molds most people live in.

He basically started using Boi as part of his stage name out in bands and it's stuck with him ever since.   Think this explains all the dressing up in Drag and wearing 1/2 the things he wore in the past on stage. LOL...

OK, I'm just curious as Hell to bring this up in conversation with him now. See just how far the rabbit hole goes with this.

Holy Crap Spanky, I just learned something new today.

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Post #: 10

RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:15:55 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
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oh! I wanna know how that goes! lol

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:17:24 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

So here's a bit of info...

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boi_%28gender%29

Boi is a term used within the lesbian community to denote a submissive butch in the BDSM community and a young butch in the butch-femme community. It is also used as a term of endearment for butches by femmes.

It may also be used in the gay community to refer to a young-appearing (or relatively young) bisexual or gay male, especially one who has effeminate characteristics. The term can also be used by anyone who wishes to distinguish from heterosexual or heteronormative identities. The term is also commonly used by those who are female to male transgendered.[1]

It may also refer to a female-born or female-bodied person—sometimes transsexual, transgendered, or intersexed, sometimes not—that generally does not identify as, or only partially identifies as feminine, female, a girl, or a woman. Some "bois" identify as one or more of these, but they almost always identify as lesbians, dykes, or queers. Many are also genderqueer or practice genderfuck. Bois may prefer a range of pronouns, including "he", "she", or gender-neutral pronouns such as "hir", "sie", "zie", and "ey".[2]

The term has found increasing usage in the larger LGBT and mainstream cultures.

Now there is a source " I trust" A bunch of self appointed geeks who know EveryFuckingThing. As i read it the def of the term boi from the "source" It covers everything except one legged dogs whose name doesn't start with b. I wish I could be a FuckingKnowItAll! I just don't have time

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 3/6/2008 11:19:12 AM >

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:18:39 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Hello boijen. Good to see you again and My regards to MsK.

Believe it or not, I had this very arguement a couple of months ago. Just one of those silly chat room debates about the term. Similar situation, though. A straight male s type (love that term) who kept referring to himself as "boi". Can you believe I was actually in the minority in correcting the term he was using? Finally, a good natured s type went through another window to research the term. That person was good enough to post the definition for the room so the debate would end. Now that it's come up again, I'm thinking of saving this link, so the solution will be quicker to find.

Thank you for promoting a bit of education.

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:22:02 AM

Owner4SexSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

oh! I wanna know how that goes! lol

yeah, yeah, yeah... I'll keep you updated on it. No matter how it goes, it's all your fault for spilling the beans on what Boi actually means. LOL... He even has used Bois as well and that was part of the name of one of his past bands. I find it hard to believe he does not understanding the meaning of the word. He's way too smart of a character and knows a lot about a lot of things.

I personally never thought much about his use of Boi or Bois, until now. LOL..

You certain woke me up today, think I need to lay off the coffee now.

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:22:40 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
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Thanks Lady Pact I'll pass on your regards! And it's a personal pet peeve and MsK just giggles when I get on a mission about the word. I mean She understands that it's important to me especially because of how I identify...but on top of that words are plain out important. Otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation now would we?

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:23:02 AM

JerryFrankster

Posts: 188
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

Personally I hate gay people. I wish they would all just go jump off a bridge or something.

By "gay" I of course mean happy and by "bridge" I mean "candy bar".

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:30:53 AM

Urdok

Posts: 29
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

Holy Crap Spanky, I just learned something new today. Actually, I'm rather shocked at this.   One of my best friends uses Boi as part of his known nickname.

Basically in this format, <first name> boi....

He's been using for it like 20 years now that I'm aware of.   He's a bit off an off the wall character anyways. He's straight as far as anything he's ever expressed to me, and he has had the same girlfriend for the last 10 years.

However, he is a bit of a freak. He has dressed up in drag playing out in bands before. You know fishnets and the whole nine yards.   It's been years since he's dressed up like this.   He proclaims to be a freak, and he's one of my few real time friends that knows all about my kinks and BDSM involvement.

....

He basically started using Boi as part of his stage name out in bands and it's stuck with him ever since.   Think this explains all the dressing up in Drag and wearing 1/2 the things he wore in the past on stage. LOL...

I think it makes sense for your friend to use the term considering the genderbending activities he digs. It gets silly when you see males who completely conform to gender norms using the term. If you are going to use the slang, at least learn what it means.

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:36:05 AM

Owner4SexSlave

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Ummmm... this whole concept of Effeminacy is a great read as well...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effeminacy

From all his past stories about dressing up on stage, this had a lot to do with it. It was a rather strange band that he was in. The lead vocalist actually owned two slave girls that were the back up singers too.   Most of the theme was that of a sexual nature and a slap in the face of right wing morality.   I can think of at least four bands he was in that carried this same theme.

When I was younger, I was in part guilty of dressing up in clothing that was more femine at times. Amazing the crazy shit guys that played in hard rock bands used to wear. Spandex, skin tight clothing, teased up long hair, ear rings and the whole nine yards. Yes, including make-up.   Don't believe me just watch videos of the 80's and eary 90's hair bands.  Think that will give you the idea here.

I actually had one girl tell me that I appeared too feminine looking to date me, and Geeesh.. how is a straight guy rock and roller supposed to react to that one.   I understand or relate to what she said better now.   I sit back and watch those old Video and laugh at how much of a freak I used to dress up as... and Yes, it was and is femine in style.

What sad is that every so often in the 80's and early 90's some guy would be checking my ass out, then become horrified when I turned around and they realized I was a Dude.   LOL... I'm sitting here laughing my ass off now about it all.   It was a common thing that seemed to happen to all us guys into the Hair Band thing though.   Just not with me, but it happened to guys in other bands. Fun topic to talk about while partying with other musicians.

< Message edited by Owner4SexSlave -- 3/6/2008 11:44:08 AM >

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 11:44:41 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
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From: California
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Okay, I had to laugh at "bois"... in french it means "wood." So if he called himself Boibois, he would be... pinnochio??

Cali

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RE: Straight males and the word "boi" - 3/6/2008 12:16:00 PM

ownedgirlie

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Some of the straight submissive males I have talked with refer to themselves as boi. They can call themselves whatever the hell they want. I called them "boy."

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Post #: 20

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