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Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 4:39:09 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I often am called a brat, and have learned to find the term mostly endearing. My question is what do you consider being a bratty submisive, as well as do you find it acceptable. Do you lable her as a brat simply because she asks questions? Also do you get mad if your submissive asks you the ever apparently dreaded question why?

I apologize if this has been asked, but the search feature attempts to crash my browser every time, and its something that Ive been thinking about lately.



_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."
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RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 4:55:36 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		Brats and SAMs have their place in some dynamics; there are certainly dominants who like it.  To my way of thinking it’s a justification for pain play or punishment play, a ‘are you dominant enough to make me submit’ scenario.  I don’t practice that but hey, if both parties enjoy it, why not? 

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to hopelessfool)
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RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 5:00:23 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I guess that would be one way to look at it, but Im not a "brat" to get punished. I'm considered a brat because I ask alot of questions, as well as want to know what the person Im with is thinking, or because at times I'm just silly do to being over sugared and such. 

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to catize)
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RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 5:05:10 PM   
DommeKimberly


Posts: 73
Status: offline 		I don't consider asking questions to be bratty.  I consider it curious and there is nothing wrong with that.  My brat knows just what buttons to push that won't get her punished so much as make the scene more intense...if that makes any sense at all.

_____________________________

I just am who I am, blunt and truthful.

(in reply to hopelessfool)
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RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 5:07:46 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Thank You Kim, I understand completely, what some call curious, others call a brat. I have learned when to be cute, and when to be on my ever so best behavior, around everyone in my life. I learned the hard way, its not wise to tease someone when they are angry, it leads to a very red bottom.

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to DommeKimberly)
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RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 5:14:02 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		In my book, a brat is someone who knows how to behave appropriately and chooses not to. This is not the same as sassy, or spirited.

Personally, I find it annoying when people ask what I'm thinking. It is intrusive; if I wanted them to know I would tell them. This is not the same as asking what I think about SOMETHING, or asking what's on  my mind; I'm speaking of someone who says "what are you thinking?" on a frequent basis. And the dreaded "why???".  My toddler is in the "why" stage and god forbid, if I was with an adult who did that, it would be a very short-lived relationship indeed.

But then, I can be cranky like that.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to hopelessfool)
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RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 5:15:58 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
But then, I can be cranky like that.

Why?


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 5:18:27 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

I guess that would be one way to look at it, but Im not a "brat" to get punished. I'm considered a brat because I ask alot of questions, as well as want to know what the person Im with is thinking, or because at times I'm just silly do to being over sugared and such. 

 
I missed that part f your post, my apologies.  I don’t believe asking questions is bratty in certain contexts.  It is important to me to make sure I understand what is required so that I am able to get it right.  If he says ‘make me a drink’ I may ask for clarification about what kind of drink he wants but I would not ask ‘why?’



_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to hopelessfool)
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RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 5:20:43 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Why?


Red, don't make bring out my inner Domme and go to town on yer ass. You wouldn't like it. I promise.

Damn bratty Doms. Think they're so cute.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 5:26:50 PM   
bleusparkles


Posts: 168
Joined: 2/11/2008
Status: offline 		I think I get what you're saying, kitten ... I've done the same thing in Daddy/lil girl scenarios. Its fun and can be extremely funny but I've never been told it was bratty.

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bleu's a bit whimsical in the brainpan ...

(in reply to catize)
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RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 5:28:10 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
Red, don't make bring out my inner Domme and go to town on yer ass. You wouldn't like it.

Why not?


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 5:29:46 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 5:32:11 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I tend to ask why more often then not. Why do you enjoy this activitiy above all else, to get inside of his head a bit, to better understand him, to better please him. If I see that look, on his face that say, Im in a somewhat angry mood, I want to be able to bring over his slippers and curl up at his feet and hum softly, if thats whats going to make him better feel at ease.

I always felt like asking why made it easier to cope with things I might have been uncomfortable to deal with. Because I said so, doesnt give me much insite. This is a treat to show off to my friends so make sure its enjoyable does.

In general Im called disrespectful/bratty for asking questions. I could see if I asked for an explination to the same situtation repeatedly, over and over. But not, what kind of cake would you like? Or what theme should it be decorated as?. ( Making a birthday cake with handcuffs for his mothers birthday, isnt exactly -shifty eyed- the best idea...)


_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 5:32:32 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I consider a brat to be someone who acts rather "cunty."

_____________________________



(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 5:35:11 PM   
SubbieOnWheels


Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline 		IMO, a Dom who expects instant and unquestioning obedience from a sub is not being realistic. We are all adults, and one hopes thinking, intelligent adults. We have a right to learn some reason for our obedience.

But then I'm a SAM. I'm gonna question, and I'm gonna make up my own mind.

_____________________________

Bethical
Beat me, strike me, take away my reindeer! I'll never tell! -- Walt Kelly, Pogo Possum
I yam what I yam - Popeye

http://www.myspace.com/bethical_wheels


(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 5:36:41 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

In general Im called disrespectful/bratty for asking questions. I could see if I asked for an explination to the same situtation repeatedly, over and over. But not, what kind of cake would you like? Or what theme should it be decorated as?. ( Making a birthday cake with handcuffs for his mothers birthday, isnt exactly -shifty eyed- the best idea...)


Then maybe it's your phrasing.  Instead of those questions, have you tried, "do you have a preference on the type of cake or a theme, or would you like me to just make it/buy it/whatever?"

After a while, you SHOULD have some sort of insight so that you aren't asking questions all of the time (unless that's what he likes, your kink is okay, blah blah blah). If you need to, make a notebook. Write down what his mother is allergic to, what her favorite cake flavor is, etc.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to hopelessfool)
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RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 5:52:56 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Thank You for your insight Cali I often start a notebook after moving to a messenger espically If I get a good feeling about such a person. I then if the person doesnt pan out ask them if they would like my notes or what they would wish for me to do with such information.

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 6:03:40 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		My definition of a "brat" is a submissive who tends towards willful disobedience, constantly pushed boundaries, needs to be "forced" or coerced into obedience frequently, etc.

Asking questions is not being bratty in my book.
Being playful is not being bratty in my book.
Asking "why" generally isn't a problem provided a) if on occasion I answer "because I said so" she is able to accept that and obey without further question, and b) her asking "why" doesn't start sounding like a bad Animaniacs cartoon with every statement or instruction being met with another "whyyyyy?"


_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to hopelessfool)
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RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 6:19:29 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Ive always had the temptation do as such now and again Pad, but have only engaged in it with my younger 4 year old cousin. Its often funny to see him try to think of reasons, before the game is turned on me. Smart kid at times, Well Why is the sky blue? Because the T.V. said so.


_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 6:32:51 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

My definition of a "brat" is a submissive who tends towards willful disobedience, constantly pushed boundaries, needs to be "forced" or coerced into obedience frequently, etc.




I think that's a good definition.   I know I get like that sometimes (not frequently, but sometimes).  The "brattiness" can be brought on just by what is happening in my life at the time.   It's knowing that I'm being that way and wanting Him to get me out of it.  

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 20
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