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RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 7:40:47 AM

Daddyslilpookie

Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

Bratty to me is purposefully being disobedient to get attention. There enjoy being defiant to get their way. This is my opinion , while some dominants enjoy them alot don't.
Asking questions to me isn't a brat. How are you supposed to learn and grow without questions?

I think this is absolutely right. I think a bratty sub tries to whine her way into getting her own way and for some Doms it does. My Daddy nope If I acted this way I would get ignored or he would tell me to grow up. To me it is topping from the bottom and being totally disobediant and Master withdraws if I do that.

_____________________________

Princess Andie

"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 41

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 7:42:11 AM

hopelessfool

Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I thank you for all of your opinions.

I personally thing a brat is someone who is spoilt to a point, who uses behavior not acceptable within the regulations. If my owner says kitten, you may dye the thanksgiving turkey purple If youd like but no one will eat it. And I dye the turkey, Im not a brat.

If I ask my Master may I please dye the turkey purple, and he says no, I do it anyway, I'm being disobedient.

If I ask my Master may I please dye the turkey purple, and he says no, I do it anyway, and I dye the mash potatoes green, Im being more then disrespectful and in brat territory.

I dont know anyone but myself that would eat purple turkey, but then Im weird in itself.

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 42

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 7:42:45 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

I tend to ask why more often then not. Why do you enjoy this activitiy above all else, to get inside of his head a bit, to better understand him, to better please him. If I see that look, on his face that say, Im in a somewhat angry mood, I want to be able to bring over his slippers and curl up at his feet and hum softly, if thats whats going to make him better feel at ease.

I always felt like asking why made it easier to cope with things I might have been uncomfortable to deal with. Because I said so, doesnt give me much insite. This is a treat to show off to my friends so make sure its enjoyable does.

In general Im called disrespectful/bratty for asking questions. I could see if I asked for an explination to the same situtation repeatedly, over and over. But not, what kind of cake would you like? Or what theme should it be decorated as?. ( Making a birthday cake with handcuffs for his mothers birthday, isnt exactly -shifty eyed- the best idea...)

You know...knowing the dominant's motivations for having you do something or for him/her doing something to you can sometimes be helpful. Hell, in most cases, it would probably be very helpful. But I can't help but think...sometimes...the idea here in MY world is that this is a D/s dynamic. You submit to me and agreed to do so. That does not mean that I have to fully explain myself each time I tell you to do something, unless that has been negotiated.
I always tell submissives that I do not mind answering most questions because I like them to understand and know me better...but after awhile, a lot of questions can begin to feel like the submissive is trying to run the show by determining whether or not the dominant can explain what he is doing and why each and every time under the guise of "I need this information in order to submit". Sometimes, that is true and sometimes...if done often enough...it leads to this question from me and a lot of other dominants..."Do you really?"

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 43

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 7:47:35 AM

Bloodrose88

Posts: 42
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline

I consider myself to be a brat. I am feisty, playfull, and argumentative. However, I only do this when I know that my Mistress will not mind me being so. She likes to watch me be spazy and silly, and she knows she need only snap her fingers, and I am immediately back into "good sub" mode of obeying and trying to please her.
I think it honestly depends on the dynamic. For some D/s couples, having the submissive be a brat like I am wouldn't work, because the Dominant would expect to have them be a submissive at all times. But for me, it does, and I am happy to indulge my bratty tendencies. I never challenge her authority, but I may tease.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 44

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 7:50:16 AM

SinergyNstrumpet

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

I often am called a brat, and have learned to find the term mostly endearing. My question is what do you consider being a bratty submisive, as well as do you find it acceptable. Do you lable her as a brat simply because she asks questions? Also do you get mad if your submissive asks you the ever apparently dreaded question why?

I apologize if this has been asked, but the search feature attempts to crash my browser every time, and its something that Ive been thinking about lately.

There are some dominants that would think me a "brat". There are some dominants that would really dislike having me for a submissive because I am one of the most curious people out there. I am always reading, watching, attempting to learn new things. I have always wanted to know the "why" of things. My Daddy appreciate this aspect of my personality for the most part. If he is annoyed by it, or does not feel like explaining something to me, or isn't in the mood to debate it, he just tells me to shut up, stop it, holds up his hand to silence me.... that always works.

It isn't the asking that makes you a brat, it is what you do if your dominant doesn't feel like answering that makes you one

. My Daddy was involved with a submissive that he nicknamed brat, and she would intentionally try to piss him off to get him to top her. This did not last because he did not like it. I am not like this. There is being playful, and then there is being spoiled and bratty. I give my Daddy crap all the time in a playful way, and he gives it back, but I never try to upset him to get my way.

Everyone thinks of these things differently. I would say that a person shouldn't have to change who they are to suit another person. D/s is about being more of who I am, not changing the very fabric of my essense. My essense is of a curious, playful, and one who stands up for what she believes in. My Daddy loves these things about me and wouldn't ever try to change them.... better to find someone who honors who you are, instead of labeling it negatively and trying to change it.

Just my thoughts

~Sinergy's strumpet~

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 45

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 7:52:26 AM

hopelessfool

Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Creative,
say I ask 10 questions total, and 6 of those questions he answers because Im the dom and your the sub you do as I say. I get kind of freaked.
If he goes well in the morning during the weekdays, I like my toast buttered with jam. brought to me by a very naked you. I will not ask what he wants for breakfast again. Unless I saw he wasnt very happy with buttered toast with jam and a naked me for breakfast. Id ask Master would you want something other then toast this morning. If my owner cant give me an answer, and only uses because I say so, it doesnt sit well with me, I dont ask unless:
1) I need to know to better serve
2) The curiosity of not knowing, and no other research Ive done has revealed the answer and I believe only you the ever all knowing Dom know the answer.

If My Dom wanted me to call him Master FruFur of All Shiny Things. After 3 or 4 times, Im going to be dying to know.

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 46

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 7:57:47 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

i consider myself a brat - playful, spirited, child-like at times...at appropriate times...i don't call myself a brat anymore, because disobedient, childish, annoying people that *i* would get rid of have used the lable "brat" to excuse their behavior as if saying "oh, it's just because i am a brat" will make it ok...it doesn't...
and i recognize that my style of playfulness does not work for everyone...when i do what you say extremely litterally, because i have way more time to do it than i need and i can get it done right after you've seen me do it not so right, but technically what you said...to me, that is bratty...but not every one associates that with being a brat, so i don't call mysef a brat anymore...
oh and i love the question why...but you have to learn to use it appropriately...where are you and what is the D-type doing and what else is going on and how high is this on the priorities are things you should ask yourself before you start asking questions...while he's on a business call is not the time to ask him about the birthday cake you will need in 2 weeks...but while ya'll are sitting around watching tv and it's a commercial break is an excellent time...while you are at a munch/groccery store/church picnic is not the time to question why you have to do x, y and z, but when you set aside time to talk about "serious/relationship/dynamic stuff" is a more appropriate time...you see the difference?

my pocket full of change
chelle

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to Bloodrose88)

Post #: 47

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 8:00:54 AM

JerryFrankster

Posts: 188
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

You are a discordian pope.
This is what you are.
You cannot get away from it.
Don't even try.

I would eat a purple turkey
In albuquerque.

_____________________________

Prosecutors will be Transgressicuted!

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 48

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 8:10:55 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

I'm not fond of brats ... had too many in the classrooms over the years! Why would I want one at home? My definition of a brat is someone who is willfully disobedient ... ie knows what they should do ... and doesn't do it ... or does what they know they shouldn't do. No place in My life for disobedience especially as I don't really run a punishment dynamic. I'm also not going to tolerate one who picks and pushes at My buttons until My good mood is destroyed and I am cranky. That's no fun, I don't like being cranky.

Questions are generally good, and I encourage them. However, there is a time and a place for them ... and if this is not the time or place and I say that, then the sub should shut up and file it away to ask it again later at a more appropriate time and place. At the beginning of a relationship I expect a lot of questions ... but like LadyPact, I expect a sub to file away the answers so they get to know what I usually like or want, or how I like things done. At that point, the only acceptable question would be "Your usual drink Ma'am?" Where I might have changing preferences eg for breakfast food, then either I will volunteer the specifics, or the sub may ask sensible questions to find out what I want that day. But don't ask Me about dying the breakfast cereal purple ... even though I love the colour purple I would think this a particularly dumb question! And I reserve the right to choose whether or not to answer "why"questions. Certainly, some require answers ... but others would simply ruin the mood or the dynamic at the time or are clearly redundant! I wouldn't generally call someone who asks a lot of questions bratty, unless they are deliberately doing it to be awkward and disobedient. And there is definitely room for some silly play ... as long as the sub knows to desist as soon as I indicate it has gone far enough.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 49

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 8:15:05 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

say I ask 10 questions total, and 6 of those questions he answers because Im the dom and your the sub you do as I say. I get kind of freaked.

I have not read this entire thread, but this statement caught my eye. It is not something that He would ever say to me simply out of respect for me as a human being. It is sort of reminiscent of hearing "because i am the parent and i said so!!" as a child. Not until i became a parent myself did i realize how wrong it was.

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 50

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 8:30:31 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I can be bratty. But to us it is cute, sassy, spirited, funny. It's a positive thing. If I'm standing there blindfolded while he's tying me, and I step on a trailing end of rope, it's a game between us. He gives me a spank, or tickles me or whatever to get me to jump, and then he wins the game.

As far as why questions, I asked a ton in the beginning, being defined as the ldr and the first six months living together. Simply because I didn't know enough about the topic and I also wasn't that sure about his competence. Once we had sufficient history for me to feel sure that he would consider any possible downside even before I could, then I no longer needed to ask questions. But that requires a dominant who is awesomely competent and who has proven it.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to kallisto)

Post #: 51

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 10:37:50 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Red, don't make bring out my inner Domme and go to town on yer ass. You wouldn't like it. I promise. Damn bratty Doms. Think they're so cute.

Cuz we are......even us angelic ones.

Well I wouldn't know personally, cuz a certain angelic, bratty, creative D type hasn't shown me.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 52

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 2:57:58 PM

KMsAngel

Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

*grins*

he is

but he's NOT angelic

*adjusting halo*

< Message edited by KMsAngel -- 3/7/2008 2:58:47 PM >

_____________________________

20 fluffy points!

flightless cherub

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 53

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 6:13:21 PM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

The terminology of brat's been summed nicely a few ways here, so I won't bother expounding on it. As for questions like, "Why...?" - if it serves a purpose, then I have no issue with it.

I label my girl as bratty, not brat, because when she acts bratty it's just that - an act to get put in her place [she's admitted as much]. If she did it constantly, without rhyme or reason beyond personality type, I'd drop that last 'ty'.

Regarding questions in general - asking to be cute is one thing; asking repeatedly is not cute.

_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 54

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 6:47:24 PM

TysGalilah

Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

I thank you for all of your opinions.

I personally thing a brat is someone who is spoilt to a point, who uses behavior not acceptable within the regulations. If my owner says kitten, you may dye the thanksgiving turkey purple If youd like but no one will eat it. And I dye the turkey, Im not a brat.

If I ask my Master may I please dye the turkey purple, and he says no, I do it anyway, I'm being disobedient.

If I ask my Master may I please dye the turkey purple, and he says no, I do it anyway, and I dye the mash potatoes green, Im being more then disrespectful and in brat territory.

I dont know anyone but myself that would eat purple turkey, but then Im weird in itself.

When your master tells you to " dye the turkey purple" and you ask him with a smirk on your face " is that turkey a metaphor for something else Master..and are you sure you want purple or perhaps just a rosy shade of pink?" followed by a wink = playful and fun with a hint of ornery.

when your master tells you to "dye the turkey purple" and you say or whine " but what if I dont wanna?" or "but whyyyyyyy...? i want green turkey ! stomp" = bratty

when your master tells you to "dye the turkey purple" and you just don't do it. ignore ..."forget" the orders = disrespectful and defiant.

well..just my take on it .
personally...Ive been known to do #1 but don't go near 2 or 3.

and he likes it that way

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 55

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/8/2008 7:31:41 AM

littlelostbunny

Posts: 141
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

If I ask my Master may I please dye the turkey purple, and he says no, I do it anyway, and I dye the mash potatoes green, Im being more then disrespectful and in brat territory.

I dont know anyone but myself that would eat purple turkey, but then Im weird in itself.

That'd be damn hilarious. The consequences would suck in a bad way, but...

May I come over for Thanksgiving? :3 (Better yet, come over here and give me more ideas... mwahaha.)

I think it's how one asks "why" that can get people into trouble. If a Dom tells you to do something and you ask "why" in a way that's trying to be cute... or in a snotty "why the @#$% should I?" way, then you're being bratty. The former can get annoying quickly if you overdo it, but the latter is just plain disrespectful.

If your Dom seems to overuse the "because I'm the Dom and I say so" reason, you should try to talk to him about it, if you haven't already. Explain that you're genuinely curious and not trying to be a pain. See how things go from there.

_____________________________

-- Bunny

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 56

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/8/2008 7:39:27 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

Creative,
say I ask 10 questions total, and 6 of those questions he answers because Im the dom and your the sub you do as I say. I get kind of freaked.
If he goes well in the morning during the weekdays, I like my toast buttered with jam. brought to me by a very naked you. I will not ask what he wants for breakfast again. Unless I saw he wasnt very happy with buttered toast with jam and a naked me for breakfast. Id ask Master would you want something other then toast this morning. If my owner cant give me an answer, and only uses because I say so, it doesnt sit well with me, I dont ask unless:
1) I need to know to better serve
2) The curiosity of not knowing, and no other research Ive done has revealed the answer and I believe only you the ever all knowing Dom know the answer.

If My Dom wanted me to call him Master FruFur of All Shiny Things. After 3 or 4 times, Im going to be dying to know.

hopeless...I get the whole idea behind questions. Like I said, I have no problem with most questions that are asked. I have former submissives and I have submissives that are friends now...some I have played with and some I have not...who will tell you that I love answering questions. But...as has been noted by many on here, including myself, there are differences in the way these things are done and differences in the way they are perceived amongst dominants. For some dominants, there are no questions to be asked once the agreement to submit has taken place. For other dominants, they will answer any question at any time asked in any manner chosen by the submissive with whatever intention the submissive has for her questioning. Most of us fall on the line between these two extremes.

Some people see someone's willful disobedience as "brat" behavior whereas others see it as SAM behavior. In other words, for some it is a more serious problem and for others, it is accepted behavior. It depends on the dominant. I have stated on here before that I don't do brats or SAMs of the whiny, disobedient, defiant nature. I can handle playful and I can handle those who sometimes want to be reminded a bit forcefully that they agreed to submit. There are several things said by posters above that make a lot of sense to me...littlelostbunny's comments about "how one ASKS why" and the difference between annoying and downright respectful reasons and ways of doing so; chellekitty's and Ma'amJays comments about appropriate times and situations; strumpet's comments about how you as the submissive behave if your dominant doesn't feel like answering . All these things make perfect sense to me.

Ask your 10 questions. If they are questions that make sense to me and that do not come across as you being willful or, as another submissive put it...bratty rather than playful...if they are honestly necessary to help you along your path to further submission and thus, further improve the r dynamic, I will answer them on all but the rarest of occasions. And because I will, I happen to think that those few times I do not or those few times that I look at you in a certain way and state that I am done answering questions will be understood, accepted and obeyed. Remember, I do not negotiate away my right to keep some things to myself and explain at a later time of MY choosing.

One last point...Ma'am Jay noted this; if I have taught you a certain way or explained to you a certain motivation or reason for my behaviors in the past and yet you ask "why" again, then either you did not have enough respect to listen to me the first several times or you are being the wrong kind of brat.

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 3/8/2008 7:55:10 AM >

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 57

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/8/2008 7:58:03 AM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

hmmmm... is it being a brat if I dyed the turkey purple (for him) and then refused to eat it? (Note to self, purple turkeys=hard limit).

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to TysGalilah)

Post #: 58

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/8/2008 8:05:05 AM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I consider a brat to be someone who acts rather "cunty."

But is that a good "cunty" or bad "cunty"?

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 59

RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/8/2008 6:39:23 PM

Paulsgirl

Posts: 249
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

I often am called a brat, and have learned to find the term mostly endearing. My question is what do you consider being a bratty submisive, as well as do you find it acceptable. Do you lable her as a brat simply because she asks questions? Also do you get mad if your submissive asks you the ever apparently dreaded question why?

I apologize if this has been asked, but the search feature attempts to crash my browser every time, and its something that Ive been thinking about lately.

i'm a brat...it gets me punished...not when i expect to be punished but when i have forgotten i was a brat and am left wondering what the hell i am being punished for...
i'm also a few other four letter words.....

_____________________________

Formerly Prinsexx

~There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.~
Anais Nin

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 60

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