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RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 6:33:26 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

Thank You for your insight Cali I often start a notebook after moving to a messenger espically If I get a good feeling about such a person. I then if the person doesnt pan out ask them if they would like my notes or what they would wish for me to do with such information.


Okay, this is one of those judgment calls that should have gone the other way. I cannot imagine someone saying to me, "I've kept a notebook about you, but it's not panning out, do you want my notes?".  Just shred them. JUST. SHRED. THEM.  Do not tell them you have a dossier on them, do not ask them what they want you to do with them, just destroy them (the notes, not the person).

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 6:48:46 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		I've annoyed the hell out of a certain submissive with that very game.   Being playful, when both enjoy it is fine.  The problem comes when a submissive decides to continue in a particular behavior after it has ceased to amuse the dominant, and especially when its begun to annoy him.

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 6:52:42 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Bratty to me is purposefully being disobedient to get attention. There enjoy being defiant to get their way. This is my opinion , while some dominants enjoy them alot don't.
Asking questions to me isn't a brat. How are you supposed to learn and grow without questions?

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Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 6:55:10 PM   
Hisgirlonly


Posts: 47
Joined: 12/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

Brats and SAMs have their place in some dynamics; there are certainly dominants who like it.  To my way of thinking it’s a justification for pain play or punishment play, a ‘are you dominant enough to make me submit’ scenario.  I don’t practice that but hey, if both parties enjoy it, why not? 


what's a SAM? sorry ass Master???  no, really i don't know.
thanks!

_____________________________

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you." ~A.A. Milne

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 6:57:56 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisgirlonly

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

Brats and SAMs have their place in some dynamics; there are certainly dominants who like it.  To my way of thinking it’s a justification for pain play or punishment play, a ‘are you dominant enough to make me submit’ scenario.  I don’t practice that but hey, if both parties enjoy it, why not? 


what's a SAM? sorry ass Master???  no, really i don't know.
thanks!



smart ass masochist

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Hisgirlonly)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 7:02:04 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
Do not tell them you have a dossier on them, do not ask them what they want you to do with them, just destroy them (the notes, not the person).

Cali is absolutely correct.  You are describing something that's kinda spooky.  I have chatlog history disabled on my computer.  I want to be able to assure people with 100% honesty that they are safe when they talk to me, and everything they say will be confidential.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/6/2008 10:53:33 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

My definition of a "brat" is a submissive who tends towards willful disobedience, constantly pushed boundaries, needs to be "forced" or coerced into obedience frequently, etc.

Asking questions is not being bratty in my book.
Being playful is not being bratty in my book.
Asking "why" generally isn't a problem provided a) if on occasion I answer "because I said so" she is able to accept that and obey without further question, and b) her asking "why" doesn't start sounding like a bad Animaniacs cartoon with every statement or instruction being met with another "whyyyyy?"



This is very much the answer that I would have given, had I said it first.  My only addition would be to state that I think there would be more questions in the beginning of a dynamic.  After all, there is a learning phase that two (or more) people go through.  The 'what kind of cake' question is a perfect example.  Earlier on, it's completely understandable that a sub might not know the D types preference, so asking what kind of cake is a person's favorite, makes a lot of sense.

Skip ahead a significant amount of time.  Whatever length you would consider  past the getting to know you phase.  Wouldn't you probably know if your Dominant preferred chocolate over red velvet?  This might just be Me, but I expect My sub to pay attention to some of these things and know the answers as to My likes and dislikes.  If I want something other than My usual, I'll tell him so.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 12:48:21 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		I dislike bratty subs (well the ones I met, not want to judge about all). They seem to argue with anything..and mostly they call themselfs so loyal and obeying.
If you are a sub, then you have a natural habbit to serve the right person...not to argue all the time. I find it a poor excuse mostly....to have kinky sex just in the bedroom. That is not a problem..but be honest..and skip caling it bratty.

I know some calingl them selfs bratty..because they like to tease and have fun   aka   not wanting a very strict Ds relation. That is ok.

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~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 12:57:38 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		I like Padriag and Cali's definitions. Having to deal with someone who is acting up like a five year old and who wants to be "forced" is far too much like hard work. I've had kids, I don't want a fully grown one.

If I've told my slave to do something, I don't think I need to explain my reasoning, I just want it doing. The end.



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if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to kallisto)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 12:59:45 AM   
Ramar


Posts: 13
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline 		I like bratty behaviour from a sub.

Basically a Dom alwaysknows his sub will be obedient and will do what is expected of her to do.  If you have this realization then your will bratty behaviour as fun and a great turn on.  Bratty behaviour is a sort of brinkmanship (or rather brinkwomanship!) which tests your limits to which you can be pushed. I will welcome a put-on sulk, a pout, a small disobedience, which leads to a reprimand and a little chase and a comensurate punishment. 
It is delightful, in my books.





(in reply to kallisto)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 1:18:21 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ramar

I like bratty behaviour from a sub.

Basically a Dom alwaysknows his sub will be obedient and will do what is expected of her to do.  If you have this realization then your will bratty behaviour as fun and a great turn on.






For YOU Ramar. What YOU enjoy is good for YOU.

We're all compos mentis enough to have realisations, it doesn't mean we all find them positive or desirable.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to Ramar)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 1:31:34 AM   
Ramar


Posts: 13
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline 		Miss MAgnolia - I agree with you. 

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 4:09:56 AM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline 		*giggles* See Im a brat in that...when you tell me to put something away like laundry? I'll end up tacking your boxers to the celing.......just to see the look on your face. Im a CREATIVE brat.

p.s. you should see the looks I get sometimes before I have to scamper off and hide

(in reply to kallisto)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 6:22:03 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Okay, I'm going to go find the last person that called me a brat and slap the shit out of them... they TRULY did not know what they were talking about. I can't even imagine being in a relatonship where one of you is a toddler that never grows up. I'm sure it's great for some people, but good lord, it makes me tired just READING about it.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 6:29:19 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Im gonna admit i havent fully read all the replies, I skimmed most of them though. I think brat means differant things to differant people. For me it is someone who constantly plays up for attention/play. I have been defiant at times and i totally admit it was because I wanted to play. Normally however I can be spirited and stuff but thats just in my nature, its not for me being bratty and I am not sure I like the term anyways smacks a bit too much of TFTB to me.

I dont think asking questions is bratty though I guess it totally depends HOW you ask them WHAT they are and WHY you ask them


_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 6:31:54 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

In my book, a brat is someone who knows how to behave appropriately and chooses not to. This is not the same as sassy, or spirited.

Cali



This is my definition as well even though i realise this is a turn-on to some ~
 
As to the constantly asking what you are thinking thing...i was with a Dom once (key - once) that asked me what i was thinking constantly while i was in the thros of orgasm...over and over again. i am not very verbal when in that state of mind/phyical and not only was it terribly annoying but frustrating as well. i wasn't thinking much - i was in the flow. So it goes both ways is what i am saying...
 
Although i will say, it was the longest time of continueos orgasm i have ever experienced

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 6:34:38 AM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline 		I dont see being a brat as acting like a toddler. I see it as disobeying creatively. No I wont do something horrible like refuse to listen to Sir during a public scene infront of everyone and throughly disobey him and undermine his athority. But, I may move my ass out of the way of his flogger. I would never say no to my Sir like "No F you I wont do that." but I may sit on his foot as opposed to sitting on the floor next to him. I know WHEN to disobey Sir, and when is just not a good time to push the limits a tiny bit. If Sir is throughly upset about something, I wont act up. If Sir is VERY serious about something. I do it without question. Being a brat and being  B*tch and TFTB are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT (to ME)

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 7:03:44 AM   
SubbieOnWheels


Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline 		I have the capability of being bratty at times - in fun, when I have read the situation and know that brattiness will be tolerated or even appreciated.

When I question, it is usually in a reasonable and respectful tone, asking for information that will allow me to do the task more efficiently and correctly - just as I would in any authority dynamic, such as in a workplace.

To me, a Smart-Ass Masochist is not a brat. We are spirited, independent people who like pain - physical pain. We do not necessarily bend to authority in all aspect of life as we know there are areas in which we are more skilled or knowledgeable than the Dominant in our lives, and we do not care to submit in those areas.

This particular SAM is willing to submit in any area where her Dom is superior, however.

_____________________________

Bethical
Beat me, strike me, take away my reindeer! I'll never tell! -- Walt Kelly, Pogo Possum
I yam what I yam - Popeye

http://www.myspace.com/bethical_wheels


(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 7:13:37 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ramar

I like bratty behaviour from a sub.

Basically a Dom alwaysknows his sub will be obedient and will do what is expected of her to do.  If you have this realization then your will bratty behaviour as fun and a great turn on.  Bratty behaviour is a sort of brinkmanship (or rather brinkwomanship!) which tests your limits to which you can be pushed. I will welcome a put-on sulk, a pout, a small disobedience, which leads to a reprimand and a little chase and a comensurate punishment. 
It is delightful, in my books.



that sounds to me like play, not how one really is.


_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to Ramar)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Bratty Submissives and the question Why - 3/7/2008 7:35:43 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Why?


Red, don't make bring out my inner Domme and go to town on yer ass. You wouldn't like it. I promise.

Damn bratty Doms. Think they're so cute.



Cuz we are......even us angelic ones.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 40
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