Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: I don't even *like* sex...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: I don't even *like* sex... Page: <<   < prev  6 7 [8] 9 10   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/9/2008 11:31:07 AM   
dollparts85


Posts: 1233
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: NY
Status: offline 		I have been talking privately in pm with some very nice people that are helpful. I'm not going to respond to the BS people post here thinking they know it all when they're really clueless. Calling me a liar and such. Saying I'm not even trying to get better when I am.

If anyone has any useful suggestions, please pm me. I'd really love any more suggestions, specially on books and websites and forums and such.

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/9/2008 4:07:01 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dollparts85

I have been talking privately in pm with some very nice people that are helpful. I'm not going to respond to the BS people post here thinking they know it all when they're really clueless. Calling me a liar and such. Saying I'm not even trying to get better when I am.

If anyone has any useful suggestions, please pm me. I'd really love any more suggestions, specially on books and websites and forums and such.

excellent idea, bye


_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to dollparts85)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/9/2008 4:36:22 PM   
SingleRarity


Posts: 320
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline 		Seeing as Doll currently suffers from severe mental problems, and also readily admits to harming herself, then could we conclude she is not mentally capable of agreeing to the TOS?  I fear that by allowing her to continue these postings, we are simply fueling a dangerous fire.

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/9/2008 5:38:40 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		If_we_start_excluding_people_because_they_have_some_form_(or_forms)_of_mental_illness
then_the_membership_will_take_a_sharp_dip.

No_offense_to_anyone_here_but_the_overall_%_for_people_is_around_20%.

(And_it_wasn't_too_long_ago_that_the_DSM_classified_BDSM_practioners_as_all_being_mentally_ill.)

If_you_want_to_start_throwing_stones...let_me_know_so_I_can_duck.

(in reply to SingleRarity)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/9/2008 7:17:17 PM   
JerryFrankster


Posts: 188
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SingleRarity

Seeing as Doll currently suffers from severe mental problems, and also readily admits to harming herself, then could we conclude she is not mentally capable of agreeing to the TOS?  I fear that by allowing her to continue these postings, we are simply fueling a dangerous fire.


So it's ok if someone else harms you, but if you do it yourself it isn't?

What's next, kicking people off for masturbating?


_____________________________

Prosecutors will be Transgressicuted!

(in reply to SingleRarity)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/9/2008 7:42:33 PM   
SingleRarity


Posts: 320
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline 		You're both right, I should not have worded it like that, and I came off as a hypocrite.  I've just been following this girls post for a while now, and they're....scary.  Not the fun, BDsM scary, but the kind of scary that makes me wonder if she'll off herself one night because of the things people say to her on here. 

Daddy's Ballerina "e"

(in reply to JerryFrankster)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/9/2008 7:58:08 PM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SingleRarity

You're both right, I should not have worded it like that, and I came off as a hypocrite.  I've just been following this girls post for a while now, and they're....scary.  Not the fun, BDsM scary, but the kind of scary that makes me wonder if she'll off herself one night because of the things people say to her on here.

Daddy's Ballerina "e"


I appreciate  and share your compassion and concern for Doll, SingleRarity, as I know many who have posted to her threads do as well.. But, I think, the fact is that noone can help one who will or can't help her/himself. Wheather Doll needs info sources, advice, tough love or simply a hard kick in the ass, I think she has gotten it all here and she can chose to use or ignore what she wishes.I wish her the best of luck, but don't/won't/can't feel resposible for what she choses to do or not do.

P.S. I miss that good Chicago pizza and the combos.


(in reply to SingleRarity)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/9/2008 8:35:42 PM   
dollparts85


Posts: 1233
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: NY
Status: offline 		LOL you think what people say here bothers me? You should see the other forum I visit. I have been going there for years and I have some people follow me around telling me to kill myself and shit. It does not even bother me, I just put them on ignore and move on. But they know I am real there. I have proven myself many times. It's just annoying the people here going around thinking they know it all when they don't. And I am not even depressed, let alone suicidal.

(in reply to cjan)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/9/2008 9:14:35 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		FR
Bull

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to dollparts85)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/9/2008 9:18:36 PM   
dollparts85


Posts: 1233
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: NY
Status: offline 		FR?

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/9/2008 9:21:54 PM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		fast reply

_____________________________

20 fluffy points!

flightless cherub


(in reply to dollparts85)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/9/2008 9:57:09 PM   
amativedame


Posts: 331
Joined: 9/23/2005
Status: offline 		You can only get what you give out of therapy.  If you aren't sharing who you really are, they can't help you.  If you aren't willing to try and make an effort, you aren't going to get anywhere.  If you can't open up and tell these people whats going on with you, they can't help you.  If you don't REALLY tell X person all about how you feel and what you do with your eating disorder they can't get a scope on what it is to determine what they need to.

While I can certainly understand that you're shy, or you don't want to tell them, or you're worried about they will think, or what they won't do... if you don't make the effort and communicate they can't help you work on "getting better."  If you can't verbally say it, then find another way... print out what you've written here?

While I understand how you feel when you say "all of them are assholes" its not entirely true.  Is is possible some of them are, sure!  I don't think however that you're necessarily dealing with incompetence.  They can only work with what you give them, and if you're only giving them part of it... then they really can't get any kind of scope on the situation.  You're dealing with a lot of things.. and you've let it snowball into other things and its become larger.  You aren't going to be able to enjoy sex until you can deal with the issues behind it, like the past abuse.  Walk away from creating relationships on the computer.  A very large percentage of people you meet will never work out (because with the beauty of the internet, you can say everything you want so much easier... and its so much easier to lie/or say things you only sorta mean.)  You're putting yourself in the situation of having most of what you're going to do, fail.  People are going to talk you into meeting in hopes of getting sex.. and as you said you can't say no.  Stop pursuing romantic relationships until you have that ability, because otherwise you're setting yourself up for more pain.  If you aren't mentally healthy you will never be able to have a healthy relationship.  You need to either work on stopping the cycle (even if its little bits at a time.. which it most likely will be.)  If you aren't willing to do that... stop complaining.  The only person who had control over your life is you.  That's the bottom line.. and you can claim otherwise all you want but that's the truth.  You, are the only person who can ever control you.  No-one-else.  I would suggest you walk away from the "lifestyle" as well... I would wonder if you seek a dominant because you wish to have someone else take control of your life.  As a solution.. because if you can pass off that stress, and feeling that you can't deal with it things will be easier.  You don't want that control.  Its not healthy.  "BDSM" is NOT a coping mechanism...

_____________________________

Always remember that great love and great achievements both involve great risk.

(in reply to dollparts85)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/9/2008 10:05:13 PM   
amativedame


Posts: 331
Joined: 9/23/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SingleRarity

Seeing as Doll currently suffers from severe mental problems, and also readily admits to harming herself, then could we conclude she is not mentally capable of agreeing to the TOS?  I fear that by allowing her to continue these postings, we are simply fueling a dangerous fire.


LOL!  While Dollparts does have issues and would certainly qualify for a diagnosis under " Personality Disorder NOS (Not Otherwise Specified)"  thats a little absurd don't you think?  Its awfully hard to take away someone's rights, mental disorder or not.  While people generally seem to think its so easy to get someone committed, its really the exact opposite... and certainly, no one on this site (or anyone on earth to a certain extent) would have the ability to determine the real risk.  If this was a serious concern Dollparts would have been gone a long time ago.

Its attention seeking behavior... negative or positive she's still getting what she wants.  If you make it an odds game, she'd be a lot more likely to commit suicide if the entire site stopped replying to her threads, then she would be if every single member bashed her.


_____________________________

Always remember that great love and great achievements both involve great risk.

(in reply to SingleRarity)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/9/2008 10:25:53 PM   
MissAngelandsub


Posts: 144
Joined: 2/24/2008
Status: offline 		Ok I have not read all the posts because it was really getting under my skin some of the things you all were saying to her. I for one have been abused in the past, I have bi-polar and as she has I have been to a medicaid funded mental health facility. What she has said about the workers there is for the most part could be true it is like that here. I have problems with sex...I don't have the part about not liking it so much but that it hurts me I know why it hurts and it is related to the abuse I had when I was younger. I have found other ways to be intimate with my partner and I have been working on the reason it hurts. The thing is the people on here putting her down evidently haven't been in her shoes or haven't been to the type of doctors she has. I have been there and am still going through it. I have walked in her shoes maybe I have grown up a bit faster than she has...but the thing is you shouldn't bash her she is reaching in out the best she knows how seeing as how the people that are supposed to be her supporters the therapist and whatnot are doing such a shoddy job of it.

(in reply to amativedame)
Profile   Post #: 154
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/9/2008 10:49:11 PM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		Doll, others have said it I will say it too
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN LIFE.
you seem to blame everyone else around you.

You mention peoples reaction to you on another forum, does that not tell you something. It is one thing to post for advice, to take that advice and say thanks, tried it, worked a treat or nah not right for me. But it seems nothing is ever right for you. You appear to be waiting for Tinkerbell to come wave some fairy dust over you and fix it all. Some Dr to give you a magic pill to fix it all.

Girl it aint going to happen.

I was Bullimic as a teen into my early 20's, I was depressed at times not that anyone would have known, I hid it well most of the time. I slept with guys just because I couldnt say no. I was a smart girl good grades in school a few close friends. But I was incedibly self destructive and it was "my parents fault, my friends fault, my Dr's fault". And to a certain extent they perhaps did play a part in it.

BUT

I reached a point where I realised that the only person whose behaviour I controlled was mine and it was me letting outside things effect me. Even if me being screwed up was my parents fault, even if my first boyfriend raped me, I could be a victim for the rest of my life or I could say the hell with you all, I will show you. And I have, sometimes a day at a time, grasping a tiny straw of happiness and positivity but bottom line is Doll you gotta do it yourself, there is no magic cure.

(in reply to MissAngelandsub)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/10/2008 2:39:45 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dollparts85

LOL you think what people say here bothers me? You should see the other forum I visit. I have been going there for years and I have some people follow me around telling me to kill myself and shit. It does not even bother me, I just put them on ignore and move on. But they know I am real there. I have proven myself many times. It's just annoying the people here going around thinking they know it all when they don't. And I am not even depressed, let alone suicidal.


why do you post when it doesn't bother you?
to me that means..you are selective with the answer you get...therefor only look for the things that fit you.
Advise can be painfull.

Why do people say you have to kill yourself..(yes it sucks that they say that)..but it seems you radiate a certain feeling towards people..thinking you are depressed. If other forums think the same..then it is propably not us, but you broadcasting this message.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to dollparts85)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/10/2008 2:43:12 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		What worries me more is that the OP invariably gets a lot of mileage out of any thread she makes. They regularly are pages and pages long.

If everyone stopped responding, she would stop.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/10/2008 2:45:16 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

What worries me more is that the OP invariably gets a lot of mileage out of any thread she makes. They regularly are pages and pages long.

If everyone stopped responding, she would stop.


I would be bored :P

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/10/2008 3:23:32 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Train wreck syndrome




""Ever clicked on something that made you go, "WHY did I do that?"

Ever seen something that made you go, "Oh, that's got to be VILE!" and yet click on it anyway?

Even worse, do you ACTIVELY SEEK OUT things to destroy your mind like this?"

Apparently if you fit into those categories and answer yes to them, you may have Train Wreck Syndrome. I couldn't find anything else about it though.

People with train wreck syndrome are people who, despite being conscious of the risks they take of mentally and emotionally scarring themselves, still can't help but go and look at the material in question."


_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: I don't even *like* sex... - 3/10/2008 3:34:51 AM   
dollparts85


Posts: 1233
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAngelandsub

Ok I have not read all the posts because it was really getting under my skin some of the things you all were saying to her. I for one have been abused in the past, I have bi-polar and as she has I have been to a medicaid funded mental health facility. What she has said about the workers there is for the most part could be true it is like that here. I have problems with sex...I don't have the part about not liking it so much but that it hurts me I know why it hurts and it is related to the abuse I had when I was younger. I have found other ways to be intimate with my partner and I have been working on the reason it hurts. The thing is the people on here putting her down evidently haven't been in her shoes or haven't been to the type of doctors she has. I have been there and am still going through it. I have walked in her shoes maybe I have grown up a bit faster than she has...but the thing is you shouldn't bash her she is reaching in out the best she knows how seeing as how the people that are supposed to be her supporters the therapist and whatnot are doing such a shoddy job of it.


thanks, hun. you seem to understand me pretty well. sorry you've had bad experiences with doctors and such as well. *hugs*

(in reply to MissAngelandsub)
Profile   Post #: 160
Page:   <<   < prev  6 7 [8] 9 10   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: I don't even *like* sex... Page: <<   < prev  6 7 [8] 9 10   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.063