RE: DEAR CALI (Full Version)

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CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 9:29:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Dear Cali.. an old friend (read fuck buddy) contacted me tonight. He's really hot. But he didnt return my calls the last dozen times I tried calling him (he said tonight he'd been out of the state).  What should I do?

Confused and horny...


Dear confused:

What part of the phrase "fuck buddy" are you not understanding? This is not a relationship, so stop calling him. Now drop to your knees and give him the blowjob he deserves.

Cali



RedHotAndSoSexy -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 9:29:48 PM)

Dear Cali,

Why am I meeting so many lame Doms lately? None of them are the least bit Dominant. What should a sub do?

Bored As Hell



GreedyTop -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 9:29:53 PM)

Dear Cali..

but what about the FUCK part???



CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 9:31:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedHotAndSoSexy
Why am I meeting so many lame Doms lately? None of them are the least bit Dominant. What should a sub do?

Bored As Hell


Dear BaH:  Stop hanging out in the wheelchair section of the medical supply store.

Cali

Edited to add:  But blow the guy first.



RedHotAndSoSexy -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 9:32:17 PM)

LMAO



CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 9:32:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

but what about the FUCK part???


Dear Miss Needs-a-Road-Map-To-Get-Laid:

Suck, fuck.  Suck, fuck.  Repeat as necessary.

Cali



SteelofUtah -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 9:33:19 PM)

Dear Cali.

My slave is a Nympho. She wants sex all the time. I have to turn her down all the time, because I am just not always in the mood. I am not gay so I refuse to give some random guy a Blowjob so your usual advice won't work for me. I do not care for blowjobs myself so offering your advice to my slave didn't help much either. I have been locking her in the closet for days on end to keep her from raping me in my sleep. I am at my wits end what should I do?

Signed

Sore Cock in Nymphoville



CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 9:37:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

My slave is a Nympho. She wants sex all the time. I have to turn her down all the time, because I am just not always in the mood. I am not gay so I refuse to give some random guy a Blowjob so your usual advice won't work for me. I do not care for blowjobs myself so offering your advice to my slave didn't help much either. I have been locking her in the closet for days on end to keep her from raping me in my sleep. I am at my wits end what should I do?


Dear blah blah blah. Stop giving your password to faery so she can post under your name.  And turn in your Dom card for admitting you don't like blowjobs.

Cali



SteelofUtah -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 9:39:52 PM)

WOW Just cause I don't like blowjobs makes me not a Dom.

**hangs head and Drops his Dom Badge and Fuzzy Handcuffs at the door**



CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 9:42:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

WOW Just cause I don't like blowjobs makes me not a Dom.

**hangs head and Drops his Dom Badge and Fuzzy Handcuffs at the door**


Dear whiner:

It makes you not a weal twue man, but I was going easy on you.

Cali



GreedyTop -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 9:46:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

but what about the FUCK part???


Dear Miss Needs-a-Road-Map-To-Get-Laid:

Suck, fuck.  Suck, fuck.  Repeat as necessary.

Cali



Dear Cali,

but..but.. if I suck him..the fucking aint happening (what can I say, I'm THAT good)...Any suggestions?



CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 9:49:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
but..but.. if I suck him..the fucking aint happening (what can I say, I'm THAT good)...Any suggestions?


You said he was an old fuck buddy.  You really meant an old suck buddy, didn't you?  It's not nice to fib to Cali.

I'm starting to think you don't deserve to get laid.  Suck for 60 seconds, fuck for 3 minutes; repeat. 

If that doesn't work, send him to me, I'll take care of him. And you can go see faery.

Cali



Lumus -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 11:01:28 PM)

Dear Cali,

I recently met a woman who has no mouth.  Short of knife play, I think another orifice is required, so which one is next on the list?

[Eye sockets are ok.  She has a glass eye and gives good 'blink'.]



CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 11:03:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

I recently met a woman who has no mouth.  Short of knife play, I think another orifice is required, so which one is next on the list?


Go for the left nostril. I think you'll fit.

Cali



Lumus -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 11:11:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Go for the left nostril. I think you'll fit.

Cali


Good Lord, woman, I have a girl.  I was setting her up for you!




CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 11:13:59 PM)

Hmmm...  (feels self all over)... I don't have a penis, but thank you anyway.

Cali



Reflectivesoul -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 11:48:57 PM)

lol lol cali.. need help with that? *gets the gropers ready* lol lol ( sorry couldnt help it lol )



CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/9/2008 11:57:36 PM)

Sure, I'll take a random grope anytime. Okie dokie, it's about midnight here, and I'm off to bed. Alone. Naked.  Alone and naked. Sigh. 

Cali



Reflectivesoul -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/10/2008 12:25:44 AM)

*groples* heh ni night cali, sleep sweet *hugz*



darchChylde -> RE: DEAR CALI (3/10/2008 1:04:18 AM)

Dear Cali,

Every woman that i meet who knows you has vehemently insisted on giving me a blowjob.  As a good and loyal submissive, i have valiantly turned their attention to placesettings and my knick-knack shelf but my resistance is weakening.  What should i do?

-Bursting outta my britches in Bellflower



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