RE: DEAR CALI (Full Version)

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faerytattoodgirl -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/11/2008 1:57:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

Dear Cali,
 
I have a gig tonight and I really don't feel like singing. Master is not here, so I can't give Him a blowjob. Oh, woe is me!!!!
 
What should I do???
 
signed,
I need more than music in my mouth


give me your # for phone fun....wait nm im not cali.



CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/11/2008 1:59:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

I have a gig tonight and I really don't feel like singing. Master is not here, so I can't give Him a blowjob. Oh, woe is me!!!!


Since when did "I don't feel like..." enter your vocabulary? You're just looking for a reason to blow the first good looking guy that crosses your path.  Well sister, I'm not going to give it to you.  So there!

Cali



Sundowner -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 9:12:18 AM)

 

Dear Cali

In recognition of your inspiring and continuing example to the girls of the USA we, your admiring readership, have all clubbed together to endow an educational facility for young ladies. I though you would appreciate seeing some of the fine work being carried out in your name. http://www.gagreport.com/sexy-videos-lollipop.htm

An admirer



CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 11:39:54 AM)

Awwwww, sweetie, thank you kindly... (you know what's coming next)... you deserve a blowjob.

Cali



sunshinemiss -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 3:46:46 PM)

Dear Cali -
I've been away for a long time and only had opportunity (for the most part) to enjoy my oral ature with those of the vienna sausage size ummm apendage.  I'm hoping to find a kielbasa when I return to the states.  Any preparation you might recommend to get my jaw in order?  I don't want to get lock jaw the first time I return to Normal.

Thank You.



CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 4:07:16 PM)

You're correct in that you need some preparation.  The appropriate exercises are should be done at least twice a day.  They are:

1.  Assisted Opening:  Place two fingers on the lower front teeth.  Slowly open as wide as is comfortable while pushing down with your fingers.  Repeat ten times.

2.  Resisted Opening:  Cup your palm under your chin, open jaw slowly, and gently resist opening with the hand under your chin.  Repeat ten times.

3.  Midline Exercises:  Look in the mirror, bite your teeth together, and look at the position of the two center teeth on the lower jaw.  Open slowly while watching these two teeth and attempt to keep your lower jaw centered as you open as wide as you can.  Repeat ten times.

4.  Simple Opening/Stretch:  Open your jaw slowly as wide as you can and repeat ten times.

5.  Lateral Exercise.  Open your mouth about one inch from a clenched bite.  Move your lower jaw as far to the right as is comfortable, without opening your mouth wider.  Repeat ten times and then do the same on the left.

6. Neck Stretch.  Attempt to touch your ear to your shoulder without lifting your shoulder.  Do ten times on each side. 

Cali



GreedyTop -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 4:09:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

You're correct in that you need some preparation.  The appropriate exercises are should be done at least twice a day.  They are:

1.  Assisted Opening:  Place two fingers on the lower front teeth.  Slowly open as wide as is comfortable while pushing down with your fingers.  Repeat ten times.

2.  Resisted Opening:  Cup your palm under your chin, open jaw slowly, and gently resist opening with the hand under your chin.  Repeat ten times.

3.  Midline Exercises:  Look in the mirror, bite your teeth together, and look at the position of the two center teeth on the lower jaw.  Open slowly while watching these two teeth and attempt to keep your lower jaw centered as you open as wide as you can.  Repeat ten times.

4.  Simple Opening/Stretch:  Open your jaw slowly as wide as you can and repeat ten times.

5.  Lateral Exercise.  Open your mouth about one inch from a clenched bite.  Move your lower jaw as far to the right as is comfortable, without opening your mouth wider.  Repeat ten times and then do the same on the left.

6. Neck Stretch.  Attempt to touch your ear to your shoulder without lifting your shoulder.  Do ten times on each side. 

Cali



*in total, complete, abject AWE*



CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 4:21:29 PM)

[:)]  You're not dealing with an amateur here.

Cali



midgetmafiosa -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 4:25:45 PM)

holy shit, Cali, those are some damned fine exercises.



GreedyTop -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 4:26:43 PM)

Dear Cali...

I just seriously abused my hair.  The 3 people who have seen have been divided on their opinions (2 for, 1 against).  Will this affect my appeal for giving blow jobs?

signed:

psycho coloring



lusciouslips19 -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 4:29:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

[:)]  You're not dealing with an amateur here.

Cali



You cant fool me Cali. Those are TMJ exercises! You didnt perhaps get lockjaw for any reason in the past???? Dear Cali, do tell....



CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 4:29:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
I just seriously abused my hair.  The 3 people who have seen have been divided on their opinions (2 for, 1 against).  Will this affect my appeal for giving blow jobs?


Does your mouth still work and is it still wet?  If the answer to both is "yes", then just dim the lights and get on it. 

Cali



GreedyTop -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 4:30:17 PM)

*proclaiming Cali as the GODDESS of BLOWJOBS!*



CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 4:32:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
You cant fool me Cali. Those are TMJ exercises! You didnt perhaps get lockjaw for any reason in the past???? Dear Cali, do tell....


I didn't say I made them up, I said I'm no amateur. They work well for many things.  I just wish I could find something to help with the aftereffects from that long-ago hip dislocation I suffered from when I... uhhhhh... never mind.

Cali



camille65 -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 4:34:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

[:)]  You're not dealing with an amateur here.

Cali



You cant fool me Cali. Those are TMJ exercises! You didnt perhaps get lockjaw for any reason in the past???? Dear Cali, do tell....
  Hahahaha I recognised them too! *says she with the 7mm mouth*



lusciouslips19 -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 4:38:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
You cant fool me Cali. Those are TMJ exercises! You didnt perhaps get lockjaw for any reason in the past???? Dear Cali, do tell....


I didn't say I made them up, I said I'm no amateur. They work well for many things.  I just wish I could find something to help with the aftereffects from that long-ago hip dislocation I suffered from when I... uhhhhh... never mind.

Cali



I am no amatuer either.

Pelvic tilts dahing. pelic tilts. Add a feww kegels, well just because.



GreedyTop -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 4:39:32 PM)

reminds me of the 'wide mouthed frog joke"



CalifChick -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 5:01:09 PM)

No kegels here, I wouldn't want to pinch anybody's dick off.  And the hip dislocation, well, if I hadn't been airborne, and if my foot hadn't gotten stuck, well, I'm sure it wouldn't have happened.  Although it wasn't any more embarrassing than the time I got a concussion from sex in the kitchen.

Cali



GreedyTop -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 5:26:46 PM)

*snicker* I had to have 5 stitches on my thumb once, from slicing a bagel



sunshinemiss -> RE: DEAR CALI (4/12/2008 6:02:01 PM)

*I am practicing, practicing, practicing.  Thank you Cali, Goddess of BJs



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