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RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communica... - 3/14/2008 9:07:50 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		Yanno the OP whines in her post then whines about the advice she is given. I just wanna bitch slap someone. smirkle

BadOne

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(in reply to DomMeinCT)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communica... - 3/15/2008 1:47:47 AM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		AAHH!! That famous word (Communication).. Can make or brake any relationship and just about any deals that we can humanly make..

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Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!


(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communica... - 3/15/2008 4:10:27 AM   
MD1Master


Posts: 34
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline 		Look within and understand what you are willing to accept.  A true Dom respects his submissives as the most pure form of a gift.  When an individual submits to a Dom, it is the greatest showing of trust and respect.  When the Dom does not reciprocate, take note and discuss.  When the discussion falls upon deaf ears, vote with your feet. 

The worst thing you can do with an individual incapable of respect is to educate.  If they are intelligent, they will learn from the experience and become better at hiding the very negative aspects of their personalities.  Be careful as the next submissive may take longer to learn the lesson as a result of your feedback and education.

(in reply to yellowseeksred)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communica... - 3/15/2008 5:46:12 AM   
sirguym


Posts: 318
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline 		Any Dom who is solvent, has a reasonable level of social and communication skills, some experience, self-awareness and a sense of humour can find compainionship, or 'The One', here in at most months, depending on how picky he is, and where he lives.

So 99% of the self-defined Doms who message potential playmates out of the blue will be the losers without social skills.

Many will be submissives without the courage to risk themselves. Few will have any level of communication skills, or they'd reappraise their technique at an earlier stage. That is the way life is. Adjust to it.

It does not mean that Doms in general lack communication or social skills - as most who have them are already matched or not looking actively.

(in reply to MD1Master)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communica... - 3/15/2008 5:58:02 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		OP....you say you've talked to 50 doms and 40 of them were jerks.  Okay....so what about the remaining 10?  Hitting 20% is actually pretty good in here.  Focus on those.

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(in reply to sirguym)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communica... - 3/15/2008 6:18:59 AM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: yellowseeksred

Is that helpful or necessary?


I thought so.  As it's already been posted oh about a zillion times.  so I figured you wanted to improve your typing skills.  Whining is decidely unattractive.  As far a your whine went it was FanFuckingtastic.

BadOne

Maybe this HAS been posted before, but she is frustrated so it's being posted again. Maybe it would have been more productive to just ignore this if it bothered you so much.
 
OP i hear ya loud and clear. Personally, if a "dom" - yes in quotes - approaches me like that i either igore him or write a scathing reply depending on how much frustration i have to unload *smiles*.
 
Aside from that, as many have said, focus on the good ones, the others are just a waste of time. Personally i very much doubt whether the ones who come on strong are true doms anyway. I suspect that they read Dominating for Dummies and decided that this is the way to go.
 
Since adding a bunch of "rules" for doms to follow if they want me to become their sub, which i came up with after meeting a true psycho, the number of fakes has greatly decreased. In fact i've had a lot of really great feedback from the ones who are real and have been in the lifestyle for quite some time.
 
I understand your frustration, OP but focusing on the positive instead of the negative should help.
 
Phoenix

< Message edited by MontrealPhoenix -- 3/15/2008 6:23:06 AM >

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~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

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(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communica... - 3/15/2008 9:54:12 AM   
yellowseeksred


Posts: 15
Joined: 1/30/2008
Status: offline 		Alright so I've got a question. On my profile I pretty much spell it out that I'm not interested in bullshit and I'm only looking for friends first. How do I quickly figure out if someone is capable of following that? I can easily spot out the people who jump into sex questions, jump into assuming we're playing games, act like they haven't even got half a brain. But how do I spot out those who act like he did? Things went good for the first couple of times and then BAM. Should I just accept that and move on when it happens again or is there something specific I can do? I've tried being blunt and honest, I've tried being reserved and untrusting, but it's obviously not got me anywhere.

As for the ones I've talked to that I actually get along with, most of them are my age (without any experience) and they have no problem being *just friends* because they aren't going to fool themselves.

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communica... - 3/15/2008 10:58:57 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		If someone is being disingenous, then yeah, it'll probably take time to see it. There are crafty people in the world.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to yellowseeksred)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Frustrated and need to rant about lack of communica... - 3/15/2008 4:59:47 PM   
Begsnice


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

Assholes making themself look like assholes..is a way of good communication actually

LOL, thats priceless!

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 69
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