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RE: My Master and Other Girls - 3/15/2008 8:39:59 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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ownedgirl - you described my relationship to my Sir to a T. I want him happy - he loves to hurt girls, therefore I am happy for him to hurt other girls. He has feelings for these girls, but it is not the feelings that he has for me. It took me about a year to get to the point that I was completely comfortable with the concept, but since he is totally open with me about talking to, and meeting these girls, I am now comfortable with it. My Sir would never hide anything from me, and we have at different times had a second girl, and a pet in our house and it didn't diminish our relationship at all. In fact , he is so grateful that I accept that side of him , that I honestly feel that he loves me more for it. And by the way, I am straight, so I get nothing sexually from other girls.
Relationships are organic - they grow, and evolve, and never stay the same. You can feel something now, and in a year be willing to try something that is so opposite to the way you feel right now. Just don't discount anything for ever - you may actually come to see something that you would like.

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RE: My Master and Other Girls - 3/15/2008 8:46:50 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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If he's immature and lacks self-knowledge, then sure, I can see it happening within six months. At first he was all swept up by the novelty and infatuation, and couldn't see himself romantically involved with any other woman...then that wore off, and now he's back to default fuck-all-available-pussy mode.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

People always say this and I think it's too simplistic. Yes, I agree that if he wanted to have his slave and still fuck other girls, he should have made that clear at the beginning (so as not to waste everyone's time). Fair enough. But relationships change. People change. No one really believes that a relationship should follow the parameters that were set at the very beginning. Sometimes things come up and the dynamics of a relationship have to change--if the relationship is going to survive at all.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlebitxxx

First off, this should have been discussed at the beginning.

LaM, that's certainly true if we're talking about years. But this is barely six months. Does it seem very likely to you that six months ago he was saying he believed in monogamy and now he's switched to a point where he desperately needs new pussy every night? Because being a cynic, it sure doesn't sound likely to me.

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RE: My Master and Other Girls - 3/15/2008 8:54:20 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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it really depends on your degree of sublitude, desire and desperation. If you are really kinda gross and you have outkicked your coverage by even getting with this guy in the first place...Then you have nothing to complain about.

If you really think that he loves you and that you are on "somewhat" equal footing as far as compatability...Then you might want to address the situation.

One of man's favorite occupations outside of killin' and blowin' shit up...Is fucking pretty much everything that moves. At least he informed you. Roll with it...Make it into a game. See if you can tell the age of the last woman that he fucked by the way his dick tastes. It might be an interesting experiment.

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RE: My Master and Other Girls - 3/16/2008 12:17:13 AM

LittleGirl7

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/17/2007
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I know that six months are still too early. And it does sound like I'm giving him a lot credits here. However, he did tell me at the beginning what he wanted. I didn't feel comfortable at all at the beginning but we've been talking about it a lot and I have been working on accepting it. I feel myself being more opened. But still confused though... whether I'll really be able to accept it. Thanks anyway for your comment.

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RE: My Master and Other Girls - 3/16/2008 12:23:19 AM

LittleGirl7

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/17/2007
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Thank you so much, everyone. Your comments and experiences are very informative and helpful!!!
I think I have decided right at the beginning to go with the flow but I just still don't know yet how to get onto that comfort level.
And that struggles me from time to time. A lot of stories here (of course, both pros & cons) are going to be my guides for me to get there.
Thanks!

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RE: My Master and Other Girls - 3/16/2008 5:02:19 AM

Ostentatious

Posts: 98
Joined: 7/2/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

There is no rule that because you call yourself a slave, your feelings don't matter. What you have to decide is what you can live with, and what you cannot. Just as he has to do the same. So if he makes the choice to see other women, then you have to decide whether you can live with that or not. Your choice is "in" or "out".

Cali

I completely echo this!

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Post #: 46

RE: My Master and Other Girls - 3/16/2008 5:54:27 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Why the hell should you accept thats it is ok for your Dom or sub to sleep with other people. If your into poly and doing it together then ok. If not move on. If you were vanilla you would be asking for a divorce. The same applys to here. Being told your being insecure about this is plain BS. As you can see I have a huge problem with Doms who bitch it is hard finding a good sub. When they do they want that sub to find more women for him to play with. What makes a sub insecure is that they actually will look even tho they don't want to.

Thank you for saying this. In addition, subs are then told their feelings are somehow invalid, that a secure woman would be able to accept this and yadda yadda yadda. No one talks about the male Dom's insecurity in not wanting his submissives to have the same sexual freedom. He wants a one-way street and we are supposed to buck up and accept it or be labled insecure or not REAL slaves, etc. Some of us are just not wired for poly. It is what it is.

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RE: My Master and Other Girls - 3/16/2008 9:58:17 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LittleGirl7
Being a slave, my feeling wouldn't matter, right?

Wrong.

We've chosen this "lifestyle" (for lack of a better word) because it makes us happy. If you're not happy then change your situation. No one deserves to go through life miserable just because they've chosen to be the submissive side of a D/s relationship.

Relationships are not made from cookie cutters. What works for me, may not work for you. And the joy of it is.....it doesn't have to. You do not have to force yourself into the cookie cutter of someone's definition of D/s. You have the right to change your situation to something that works for you.

Some people can handle being in a relationship with someone that has sex with other people. Some people can't. Some people can once the relationship has matured.

And lastly, I'll add that this is something that should have been negotiated before you became his submissive.

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Post #: 48