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RE: why - 3/16/2008 3:29:48 PM

Kalista07

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i suppose theoretically i understand where people are coming from with their issues against anti-depressants. But, the reality is this: many of us (and yes i do say US) have tried to suck it up, to pull ourselves up by our boot straps, have tried changing everything in and around us, and have still awoken with that sad, silent, and deadly desperation. T, i want to thank You for sharing Your story so candidly.... i had no intention of sharing this with anyone when i first started this thread, however, i have changed my mind. 2 1/2 years ago life could not have seemed any more bleak if it had tried. It seemed every where i turned things sucked ass. No matter how hard i tried to 'fake it until i made it' i kept failing. No matter how hard i tried to be the kind of person i dreamed of being, i couldn't suppress the growing rage and hatred that seemed likely to explode at any point.
i made a decision that Friday morning towards the end of August.....i stood in my kitchen looking at the rose bushes, and decided i was done. i picked up this bottle of medication which was supposed to slow down my heart and i took 29 of them. i went and laid on my couch and said out loud, "okay God....here i come". Imagine my absolute outrage when i woke up a few hours later...i was pissed beyond belief.....i then decided screw this. And i took a book, went into the garage, shut the doors and turned on the car. i'll spare You most of the details of this, however suffice it to say when i was woken up on my garage floor on Sunday afternoon and taken to the hospital i was done. shortly after that i was started on two anti-depressants, which frankly have saved my life. Did they do the work for me? uhm...no...Did they make me numb? Yea, not so much actually. Here's the reality, when my dad died last year i felt every bit of feeling and emotion surrounding that. When i was raped and assaulted last year i felt every bit of feeling surrounding that. Anti- depressants for me aren't some kind of band aid or magical fix. In reality what they are is a way to bring me back up to a functional level so i can do the work needed to be able to learn how to function like a normal human being.
just my experience,
Kali

< Message edited by Kalista07 -- 3/16/2008 3:55:03 PM >

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Post #: 21

RE: why - 3/16/2008 3:30:08 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

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i think its from having no clue what depression is about. it is normal to be sad and depressed after a loss. it is not normal to be depressed for months or even years on end for no apparent reason.

same with panic attacks. before i experienced them, had you told me something you couldnt show me kept you from leaving your house for months, making you unable to go grocery shopping or anything, i would have said youre nuts. now, havbing been there done that demon, id tell you the skills i learned, and yes the meds i took, to slay that dragon.

ive been depressed with the blues and clinically depressed. sometimes i can kick me in the ass and come out of it, and sometimes i can not. after the loss of my mom, the murder of an aunt, and a divorce all coming in very fast succession, i was so damn angry at me months later for still being in a funk. my dr tried to get me to take an anti-depressant, and i refused , stating i will not depend on a pill to make me be a happy person.

finally, after totally losing it in her office, i gave in and went on the meds. a couple months later, i found me whistling when i did the dishes and smiling more often. a year or so later i talked with her about coming off them, and i did just that, with no problems.

should i ever get in that headspace again. i will beg for the drugs to help me, and with no shame. my heads a messed up place, with strange chemical imbalances sometimes, and if theres a pill that can help me not be miserable, im going to take it if i need it.

i think we all judge by our own experiences. this is one time i think the dont judge unless youve walked a mile in their shoes(and brain) is very very true.

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Post #: 22

RE: why - 3/16/2008 3:31:48 PM

sirsholly

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To those who are against antidepressants: many who are on these medications have a chemical imbalance of the brain. No amount of counseling/therapy can help with that. That is the same as saying therapy can help with an imbalance of the blood.

Lets say someone has a heart condition that requires them to take medication for (gasp!!) the rest of their life. Would you fault them..tell them to toughen up, get over it, get therapy or (i like this one) deal with it because it is your purpose in life? Of course you wouldn't. You would offer them your support and not in any way condem them for taking a medication to help with the problem.

The brain...like the heart.. is an organ. Why condem someone for taking care of themselves?

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Post #: 23

RE: why - 3/16/2008 3:37:59 PM

Rule

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07
Where does "God's" role come into this? i mean what i hear You saying (please correct me if i'm wrong) is that You were designed to be depressed correct? Well, who exactly determined this?

As a child I did a wish of stupendous magnitude. To make this come true as a first step it was necessary for me to "die". That occurred due to intervention by the Divine. Then when I later desired to live that also was granted - far too soon. Of course I did not realize these things at the time; I reconstructed it many decades afterward.
So the first step was successful. Well worth the heavy prices paid for it. Subsequently I messed up, I think. (Well, if anything is possible, perchance I can redeem myself yet... It merely requires more miracles of stupendous magnitude. The Divine has obliged me before, so it may do so again.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07
And if in fact that's true, then why exactly were anti-depressants designed?

Some depressions are meant to be. I suspect that this is true of some subs.

Others are inexorable consequences of other causes. When one lights a fire for the heat, there will also be smoke. Often depression is caused by disease, or indeed as a consequence of a iatrogenic cause - i.e. it is caused by medication or treatment prescribed by a physician. The treatment for such depressed people is not treatment of the causative disease, but of the symptom of depression. Such people are not meant to be depressed, I think.

< Message edited by Rule -- 3/16/2008 3:38:29 PM >

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Post #: 24

RE: why - 3/16/2008 3:43:04 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

i've been wondering the past couple of days why people who are not prescribed anti-depressant medication are so strongly opposed to it? Seriously, i can think of lots of reasons (none of them either justified or rational) but would like to hear from some people themselves. It seems to me that some people are so blatantly against anti-depressants that they'd rather throw away the baby with the bath water so to speak.
Thanks for your help in providing me some understanding.
Kali

At one point I was offered these meds to deal with depression. I chose a different way to go about healing a chemical imbalance that in the long run was effective for me.

On the other hand my sister was given these drugs and they only prolonged her misery. She was calmer, but she also plugged herself into Runescape for an entire year and let everything else in her life go to hell. When she went off of Zoloft she was even more depressed than she was before she went on it... for her it was not a successful treatment.

Now for me, I went and changed my diet, quit smoking, and followed a strict exercise regime and found my way to being healthy without drugs.

So, while I am not completely against these drugs as a last resort, I do think people opt for them too quickly without figuring in other lifestyle choices to deal with their chemical imbalances. I would rather try a holistic approach personally, than think a drug can fix everything. I believe that taking drugs usually leads to unthought of side effects that could be worse than the ailment they were originally taken for. It is an individual choice in the end of course, and one that I wish people would weigh more heavily than they do.

julia

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 25

RE: why - 3/16/2008 3:46:58 PM

Kalista07

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SinergyNstrumpet
It is an individual choice in the end of course, and one that I wish people would weigh more heavily than they do.
julia

julia,
i think i weighed it out pretty heavily....what with facing death and all....i also think if i had just agreed and accepted that i may need some assistance with medication i could have spared myself a lot of undue stress, trauma, and lifelong disabilities.
Kali

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Post #: 26

RE: why - 3/16/2008 3:47:21 PM

GreedyTop

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I suffer from dystemic(sp?) depression, which is a cyclic thing. Meds help me when I'm in the pit. Can I get THROUGH without them? yes, I've been having to do just that for several years, since I can't afford the meds. It is NOT a happy experience.
What is my preference? MEDS... I do not enjoy the feeling of being in a world without color, laughter or joy for as long as the down cycles last. Am I 'avoiding' things by taking meds? As far as I'm concerned, the only thing I am avoiding is feeling so bad that the depression starts feeding itself.
As has been mentioned, combining meds and therapy is usually the most effective way to handle it, IF it is determined that medications would indeed be helpful.

Dammit... reading that back, it's not expressing it quite right...but my brain isn't cooperating just now..maybe I'll elaborate later..

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Post #: 27

RE: why - 3/16/2008 3:51:25 PM

faerytattoodgirl

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cure for depression:

1)buying me steak dinner
2)getting you drunk
3)sleeping with me that same night

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Post #: 28

RE: why - 3/16/2008 3:52:52 PM

Kalista07

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faery,
while i'm glad something simple might work to alleviate your depression, for some of us this is truly a life and death matter.
Kali

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Post #: 29

RE: why - 3/16/2008 3:54:15 PM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SinergyNstrumpet

At one point I was offered these meds to deal with depression. I chose a different way to go about healing a chemical imbalance that in the long run was effective for me.

On the other hand my sister was given these drugs and they only prolonged her misery. She was calmer, but she also plugged herself into Runescape for an entire year and let everything else in her life go to hell. When she went off of Zoloft she was even more depressed than she was before she went on it... for her it was not a successful treatment.

Now for me, I went and changed my diet, quit smoking, and followed a strict exercise regime and found my way to being healthy without drugs.

i think it is important to note here that by the time many seek treatment they are in rather bad shape. I have no idea about this but i assume it took you a bit of time to heal your imbalance via holistic methods. In alot of cases this kind of time is not an option.

I am sorry to hear that your sister did not have success with Zoloft. It is a good drug but not all are responsive to it. However, there is no guarentee that your method would have worked for her either. I am glad it worked for you, though

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Post #: 30

RE: why - 3/16/2008 3:58:01 PM

faerytattoodgirl

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that was a "cure for depression" it didnt say "cure for my depression"

and i guess you didnt realize it was supposed to be a joke to lighten up the room.

but..tough room....

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Post #: 31

RE: why - 3/16/2008 3:59:34 PM

Kalista07

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no, actually i saw it for what it was......just didn't see the humor in it i guess....my bad...apologies.

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Post #: 32

RE: why - 3/16/2008 4:00:29 PM

sirsholly

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Greedy...i think you expressed yourself very well. I urge you to talk to a social worker (your pcp can put you in touch with one). There are many free/low cost services that you may not know about, including obtaining meds at little to no cost. A social worker can give you more info about this.

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Post #: 33

RE: why - 3/16/2008 4:03:15 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinergyNstrumpet
It is an individual choice in the end of course, and one that I wish people would weigh more heavily than they do.
julia

julia,
i think i weighed it out pretty heavily....what with facing death and all....i also think if i had just agreed and accepted that i may need some assistance with medication i could have spared myself a lot of undue stress, trauma, and lifelong disabilities.
Kali

Like I said, I respect everyone's choices, and if a person is having thoughts that it might be easier to end the pain than to continue on, well they definitely may need some support to get out of that place... but sincerely I say that there are other ways too.

My post isn't to denigrate other people's choices, or nor am I completely against anti-depressants, nor do I think it is a moral flaw to take them. I just want to say that from what I have seen of not just my sister's experience, but other friends too, they are not a solution for many many people.

I have to constantly watch my thoughts about being "down". I do not always trust my perceptions of reality as a result. I look at trends, which seem to cycle with homonal difficulties I have had as I approach 40. Realizing that it maybe my perception, and not the reality of things has went a long way to helping me fight whatever sort of depression that creeps up on me. I also realize that with the sort of depression that I have a tendency toward, it will probably go away after menopause, I will not be a victim to my hormones until then though.

I understand your choice, because at times when it was at its worst I would think about walking in front of a speeding truck.. not because I was suicidal really, but because the pain of one day following the other was so hard to go through. When I was at my worst, I may have needed meds, but having not taken them I can tell you it was a spiritual experience for me... kinda like my masochistic side is. Through pain is growth.

Now I have anxiety that I also have under control, and I was diagnosed PTSD also, so I do know the pain which you speak only too well, my approach of dealing with it was just different is all. Now it wasn't a heroic way, or a morally superior way... if you get right down to it, meds scare me, and I do not trust pharma with my mental health. For me I chose the approach that was right. In the long run my approach is the one that seems to be helping my sister. I have known many other people that went through hell withdrawing from these medications, and being told that they needed them still, so this was why they had so much trouble... only to find a few months later they were ok. In my view it is dangerous to play with the chemical balance of the human brain, and only done as a last resort.

Other people have different views, and I am ok with that.

julia

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 34

RE: why - 3/16/2008 4:07:02 PM

camille65

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

i think its from having no clue what depression is about. it is normal to be sad and depressed after a loss. it is not normal to be depressed for months or even years on end for no apparent reason.

IMO that is where a lot of people fail when trying to understand depression. It is the 'no apparent reason' bit. Not sadness over losing a job, or being unhappy that your girlfriend dumped you. It is chemical not situational in many many cases. That is when a rebalance is needed and that means medication for a certain amount of people. It is not a weakness.Nor a greatness. It just is, and it can be helped. Thankfully. I've spoken here about my total lack of libido and how it bothers me. The depression is so much worse than that. It is all encasing and completely invades every aspect of my life. Without using anti depressants, well I'd rather not think of it. If it were simply a mind over matter then there would be no illness in the world.

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Post #: 35

RE: why - 3/16/2008 4:10:34 PM

Daddysredhead

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quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

that was a "cure for depression" it didnt say "cure for my depression"

and i guess you didnt realize it was supposed to be a joke to lighten up the room.

but..tough room....

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalista07
no, actually i saw it for what it was......just didn't see the humor in it i guess....my bad...apologies.

I saw it for what it was as well, and didn't see the humor in it either. However, I offer no apologies because I thought it was tasteless.

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Post #: 36

RE: why - 3/16/2008 4:15:11 PM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SinergyNstrumpet

I also realize that with the sort of depression that I have a tendency toward, it will probably go away after menopause, I will not be a victim to my hormones until then though.

This is not always the case. I have no stats at the ready....but many find the imbalance worsens with menopause.

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Post #: 37

RE: why - 3/16/2008 4:15:31 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
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From: Austin Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

that was a "cure for depression" it didnt say "cure for my depression"

and i guess you didnt realize it was supposed to be a joke to lighten up the room.

but..tough room....

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalista07
no, actually i saw it for what it was......just didn't see the humor in it i guess....my bad...apologies.

I saw it for what it was as well, and didn't see the humor in it either. However, I offer no apologies because I thought it was tasteless.

I was thinking that maybe it hit a nerve, then I changed my mind.

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Post #: 38

RE: why - 3/16/2008 4:19:14 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinergyNstrumpet

I also realize that with the sort of depression that I have a tendency toward, it will probably go away after menopause, I will not be a victim to my hormones until then though.

This is not always the case. I have no stats at the ready....but many find the imbalance worsens with menopause.

In reading a book by Gail Sheehy... who is not a medical doctor... about menopause, menopause can trigger depression, but after menopause most women have a much easier time of it. If she was wrong in her research, then she was wrong, but I would rather look at it from the positive than the negative....

julia

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 39

RE: why - 3/16/2008 4:26:12 PM

MissHarlet

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Bottom line is in my opinion..... everyone has the right to make the choice for themselves and should be supported in whatever it is and not judged for it.

If they are harming no one ...... it is their choice ... and if they are harming themselves and it is their choice and they are adults ... so be it....
I have never seen so many judgemental people in my life....... those of us that need meds to have " quality of life" be they pain meds... psych meds ..... asthma meds ... or whatever .. should not be judged... but supported and encouraged to lead the best possible life we can.

The only time it becomes an issue to me is if one is Doctor shopping and becomes an addict .. and that is addicted to anything ...

Just my opinion

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Post #: 40

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