Termyn8or
Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
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So I come and learn something agasin - some people are only on drugs for a certain time. If that is the case fine.
I want to say though that I am not a monster, well maybe I am, but when I said get over it I meant it a certain way. When most people say get over it, it pretty much means that they do not want to hear about it anymore. Not me. Depressed ? Get me on the other side, I'll give you my real email, even my phone number. I have been there and I know. And I am damn good.
When I say get over it I mean it a bit differently I guess, I don't mean shutup or get out of my space with this, I mean that you have to get over it for yourself.
I just rolled one and during that time I thought about something. This has not hit my mind in a long time, but I remember now, something so very important about depression.You might remember me mentioning my almost suicide(s). What has noccurred to me might blow your mind.
I have buried a favorite cousin, and plenty of friends, some of them younger than I. This all happened at a younger age back when I could not handle it. But I learned to handle it. But all this strife is not what made me contemplate suicide, it was personal interaction with the people close to me.This was in this house, but it wasn't the first time.
I remember a long time ago when I was homeless. I lost my job and it all fell apart. I had a breakdown at my Mother's table. I moved back in for a short time, but my life was gone. My apartment had been ripped off, they took my guitar. You gotta be nasty to take someone's guitar.
I hadn't paid the rent becaue the building went condo and if I was going to stay I would have to buy an apartment for seventy grand, I am not doing that. I had nothing. The engine was blown in my car and my van needed a transmission, neither of which I could afford. I really could not take it. Have you been homeless ? Destitute with no money, no cars anymore because you can't afford the tow even if they did run, and nowhere to take them anyway, and noone to help you fix them, even if you could afford parts. Your stereo, guitar and all your clothes and furniture are all gone, not in storage, gone.
Try that. I have, and I lived through it. Now all you depressed people, tell me just how much worse do you have it ?
OK, I am a tough motherfucker but I hope you respect my honesty and understand that I do want to help. And I have to express this, only you can change you. Sometimes you need help, OK, but whether that comes from good friends or a professional doesn't matter. If it is real help.
I got a buddy, he calls and says he is contemplating suicide. Fuck, if he really was he would not call me would he ? Come on, this is not hard to figure out. I guess what he meant was he is having a hard time and wants to talk some serious shit. Seems pretty plain to me.
Preventing a suicide by phone is a very hard thing to do, but there are steps. There is a certain procedure and the books might not have it right anymore so I will go through it.
1. The person called, that means they want to live. They may say that they just wanted to say goodbye but that is bullshit. They either want help or comiseration, which might help sometimes, at least temporarily.
2. Listen. You might hear some really bad shit. They might have it really bad in life. At this phase my magic dust is "OK, hang on for one more day, you can always do this tomorrow, do you think you can hang on for one more day ?". Remember they did call you. That gets past the hump, the immediate urge. I know what emotional pain is and at that point I know it is still there.
3. Listen more. Let them talk, let them cry, let them whatever on the phone, then comes the time for your response. One time I came up with a pretty good one, and this is not bullshit. While I don't know if that person really would've whacked themself, I know what I said. I said "You know you could be a pregnant, homeless blind Woman".
Try that.
A bit over twenty years ago, dude shows up at my apartment, when he was working he was pissed that I lived on a higher floor than he. The comapny got busted for tax evasion and was gone, and he had no skills. He wanted to end it all right there.
It was like everything I said was shot down, while he actually didn't fuck up his life at that point, he has a strong work ethic. Basically I told him to find the right office of the government and they would most likely pay for his schooling. He did, they did and now he makes more money than me.
Life can turn around in a hurry. It can turn on you in a heartbeat, but then it can turn back just as fast. Might. If you have fucked your life up it might be an uphill battle. But that's what you get. I think most people of any decent character can clean up their mess so to speak. But there are other factors, which is something that I am learning in later life.
Alot of people do not have the right kind of friends, family, or any support system which would help them. I have learned why my house is sort of a nexus. That is because other people are not like me.
Now I realize that most people won't do what I will. What I can. Or they can't. People literally walk twenty miles to come see me, this is not bullshit. They come because that is the way it is here, this is not bullshit.
So get over it. I am not being impatient, I am trying to be helpful. Don't let this shit fuck your life up, you know you only get one. One.
One.
T
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RE: why - 
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