RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tributes', 'Donations', or 'Gifts'...?

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RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/17/2008 1:41:56 PM

soul2share

Posts: 7084
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline

Early on, while chatting with a "dom", he lived in CA, I'm here in AZ. Things were actually progressing smooothly, but then it was like his evil twin popped out of some closet someplace! He asked me to visit him, which I didn't have a problem doing, however, he expected me to foot the bill for the ENTIRE weekend. A 4 star hotel in SF, car rental, even tho I would be driving my own vehicle, meals, new toys for him, and to top it all off, I was to save 20% of my paycheck as "tribute". OK, I may have been born at night, but NOT last night! Then he tells me he needs my social security number, he told me to give it to him as proof that I trusted him.......yah, right...I'll get right on that! I blocked him from my YH, even when he changed names and contacted me. He finally went away.

I work hard for my money, and am not about to just hand it over. It may not be a popular stand, but my paycheck is definitely NOT up foir grabs. It's 50/50 or nothing. As far as paying for dinner, I do that already with my male friends, so I don't have a problem doing that.....they have the problem of letting me do it.

I'm sure there is a booming market for pro Doms/Dommes, but I've never had to pay for it, and I'm not about to start now. Just my .05...wait, better make that .10, adjusted for inflation!

_____________________________

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?"...people are starting to take it as a challenge!

*Not a fuck was given.*

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 61

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/17/2008 2:57:03 PM

TracyTaken

Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I'm sure there is a booming market for pro Doms/Dommes, but I've never had to pay for it, and I'm not about to start now. Just my .05...wait, better make that .10, adjusted for inflation!

Are you in the US? If so, you might want to devalue a bit.

(in reply to soul2share)

Post #: 62

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/17/2008 3:29:19 PM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

why would a female dominant ask you say? well, i don't know because i'm not a domme; so you should ask them...

because men pay you say? pay for what? no one's paying for anything for me and no one's asking me for money or to pay their way either...

sexist you say? nothing that i wrote is sexist...

do fem subs/slave pay domme's you say? i don't know, i've never paid one, and same thing goes for them as i said about doms...

i didn't know i was going to have to be anal-retentive and type in the words top/dom/sub/slave/bottom/ domme/switch and so forth to get my message across; i figured people would be smart enough to understand what i was saying was universal to both sexes; you've managed to prove me wrong in that regards!!!!!!!!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: liketophoto

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

there has yet to be anybody in my entire life ask me for a tribute, let alone asking me for one and claiming to be a 'dom/master' in the same breath.

So why would a female D ask?
Because Men pay?
This is all pretty sexist...

Do female subs/slaves pay Female D?

(in reply to liketophoto)

Post #: 63

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/17/2008 3:48:19 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

I havent ever given my Dom a tribute, but knowing him how I do, I tend to make things for him, like Im currently makeing him a dream catcher in his scene colores in difference to his indian heritage. I also write him little letters and such like, nothing big or expensive just little things to let him know I think about him.

I also dress up, I make it a point to buy a pack of his brand of smokes, so I can always have some for him if he runs out, or maybe even a small bottle of rum for after our scenes. I am not asked or expected to do any of these things, but its something I do for anyone I care about. Dom or not Femdom or not sub or slave, Anyone I care about I make it a point to let them know I love them and want to see them smile.

< Message edited by Sunnyfey -- 3/17/2008 3:57:35 PM >

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 64

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/17/2008 4:47:41 PM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Anyone I care about I make it a point to let them know I love them and want to see them smile.

Awesome! But not "tribute."

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

Post #: 65

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/17/2008 5:02:41 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

yes I have been contacted here by male doms that classify themselves as Pros.... payment was to be cash for sessions much like a Pro Dommes with rules of no sexual intercourse but the ratio of male doms to female subs makes it rare. I personally would not use the services of a pro Dom.

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 66

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/17/2008 5:11:32 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Looking4Alphonse

....I am just asking...

Sexual kink is such a varied thing...and everyone has their own unique marks on their own thang....

I myself am a professional male sub, aiming towards the female market wherein which they're looking for a slightly overweight, balding almost 50 sub.

Granted, there isn't much demand for that, but so far, in the 27 months...I've made over 2 dollars and 77 cents and I'm thinking...it's only up from here.

(in reply to Looking4Alphonse)

Post #: 67

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/17/2008 5:15:45 PM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

Could be quite attractive and lucrative...

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to Griswold)

Post #: 68

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/17/2008 5:34:32 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee
~FR

Let me clarify my "shit."

The OP asks if Male Dominants ask for tributes, donations or gifts. It is not about service, blow jobs, cooking meals or entrance fees or for things that cost money to provide, nor about sharing expenses or even paying for trips to take together. I certainly would pay for any or all of those things. And a bar tab.

It's about tribute: I will be your Dom if you pay for it. I understood the OP to be asking about tribute within the context of a relationship, not a per scene or per diem or any other professional arrangment. The question changes, it seems to me, if looked at as the price of a relationship. Does it not?

I have absolutely no trouble with anyone's relationship dynamic and if a Dom and a sub hooked up and this was their happiness, right on. It's not for me...

Do you really think it's different to say "I will accept you in this relationship if you serve X way" when X happens to be "buy me this particular thing"?

I know christians are commanded to tithe, so they certainly understand exchange of money as part of service. Why is money such a special exception?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 69

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/17/2008 5:36:34 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan
And, I wonder, wonder who, etc., why you don't cap "Dom"? Just an oversight, or what ? Would you rather pick up the check, pay for the cruise, or what? Not fucking with you, just wondering....

I capitalize it when it's at the beginning of a sentence or part of a proper noun. The word dom in and of itself however is not a proper noun.

And thanks Bita for pointing out that rather blinding contradiction. Cjan doesn't seem to really think about what he's posting.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to cjan)

Post #: 70

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/17/2008 5:52:56 PM

liketophoto

Posts: 763
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline

< Message edited by liketophoto -- 3/17/2008 6:10:26 PM >

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

Post #: 71

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/17/2008 6:02:18 PM

DS4DUMMIES

Posts: 180
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

Yes, I'm seeing the humiliation...for the Dom. You want to garner some respect? You're in control and she's gonna pay? Shall she order then too? Direct the waiter or consierge? Or just hand over her credit card? Pfffft.

A six- or twelve-pack for her submission? That's class!

More posters? Jaysus...

Bingo :)

How could I possibly amplify or add anyhting useful to that response? It's like a fine piece of art...sit back and admire it ....:) Godspeed subtee ..:)

_____________________________

"When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly.” Patrick Overton

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 72

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/17/2008 6:21:11 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

Could be quite attractive and lucrative...

I've done the math.

In fewer than 8 years (multiply by 7, add 12, carry the 1....)....I figure I can pay cash for a snow cone.

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 73

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/17/2008 9:16:42 PM

MsSaskia

Posts: 415
Joined: 9/9/2004
From: Denver
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: liketophoto
So why would a female D ask?
Because Men pay?
This is all pretty sexist...

Do female subs/slaves pay Female D?

I've had a few paying female clients. They're maybe 1% of my total client base, but it happens. Sometimes they're buying sessions for their male partners, sometimes they're seeing me one-on-one.

We also have a pro male dominant working at my house. He's quite popular.

(in reply to liketophoto)

Post #: 74

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/17/2008 11:10:52 PM

MasterWilliam55

Posts: 361
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline

MsSaskia....If someone is a pro-dom/domme, I don't have any problem with them charging for their services. It's a business. God bless the entrepreneur. I can only say, that as a basic Man/Dom I don't feel comfortable with a Submissive offering me tribute in the form of money or asking for it.

(in reply to MsSaskia)

Post #: 75

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/18/2008 12:39:11 AM

cjan

Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

~FR

Let me clarify my "shit."

The OP asks if Male Dominants ask for tributes, donations or gifts. It is not about service, blow jobs, cooking meals or entrance fees or for things that cost money to provide, nor about sharing expenses or even paying for trips to take together. I certainly would pay for any or all of those things. And a bar tab.

It's about tribute: I will be your Dom if you pay for it. I understood the OP to be asking about tribute within the context of a relationship, not a per scene or per diem or any other professional arrangment. The question changes, it seems to me, if looked at as the price of a relationship. Does it not?

I have absolutely no trouble with anyone's relationship dynamic and if a Dom and a sub hooked up and this was their happiness, right on. It's not for me...

I absolutely agree that what consenting adults do is none of my business. And, what is 'right" for some may not be "right" for others.

But I just don't get the "tribute" stuff..To me, tribute is payed, evey day, in things couples do for each other, to please and make each other happy. Not in "cash ".

< Message edited by cjan -- 3/18/2008 1:23:32 AM >

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 76

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/18/2008 2:55:51 AM

liketophoto

Posts: 763
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSaskia

quote:

ORIGINAL: liketophoto
So why would a female D ask?
Because Men pay?
This is all pretty sexist...

Do female subs/slaves pay Female D?

I've had a few paying female clients. They're maybe 1% of my total client base, but it happens. Sometimes they're buying sessions for their male partners, sometimes they're seeing me one-on-one.

We also have a pro male dominant working at my house. He's quite popular.

Thank you !

< Message edited by liketophoto -- 3/18/2008 2:57:28 AM >

(in reply to MsSaskia)

Post #: 77

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/18/2008 5:37:39 AM

ToysAndTies

Posts: 124
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline

Very well put.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 78

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/18/2008 6:29:56 AM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

I breifly dated a Dom who demanded tributes, not just when we played, but whenever we got together. He may have meant it, liked it, for humiliation, I never really asked. I didn't find it humiliating, but I did like it.
However, and this is important to me, the tributes were clearly symbolic. He provided me with a short list of 'acceptable' tributes. Nothing on the whole list cost more than a couple bucks, some were more in the range of pocket change. They ranged from candy he liked to his brand of tobacco.
If someone asked me for 20% of my paycheck in the early part of our negotiations, (and I noticed, soul, that this was in advance of your first meeting, so I would count that as the negotiation stage) all they'd hear is a click. I have no problem with the fact that in an eventual TPE relationship, controlling money and making descions about it may very well be his domain, but that is when that is not just power for him, but also responsibility. Even if He had been a pro, why would your contribution to him be based on your income? And by the time you finished paying for the rest of that trip to him, it would probably have been that months paycheck plus that months rent, I would think. And, really, how far could that relationship ever go - I mean, how often could you have afforded to visit someone like that? just, geesh.

< Message edited by tsatske -- 3/18/2008 6:31:30 AM >

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to ToysAndTies)

Post #: 79

RE: Do Male Dominants ask Female Subs/Slaves for 'Tribu... - 3/18/2008 6:39:22 AM

Kirren

Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: liketophoto

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

there has yet to be anybody in my entire life ask me for a tribute, let alone asking me for one and claiming to be a 'dom/master' in the same breath.

So why would a female D ask?
Because Men pay?
This is all pretty sexist...

Do female subs/slaves pay Female D?

I was actually thinking this Myself. Even as one that will charge for a session....and mind you, in My area...I may get a chicken and some of Grammy's home made strawberry preserves before I get any kind of cash....But what I see here is that in some way its acceptable for women to charge for a session, but much less heard of for men to.

Im not sure what to think about that....being married to a Dom that did in fact make a lucrative living off of female slaves, to the point of having access to credit cards and ATM cards...I have to say...its intresting that male Doms are frowned at for doing the same thing that Domme's are able to do...even if they are frowned at....or picked at what have you...

Like I said...its kind of a complicated situation. We look at men as they have to be the provider and women should be the provide-ee...(I know its not a word...but yanno) and we wonder how any man has the right to think that he can ask a woman to give him anything for what he does for her.

Same side of the coin for women.

As a Professional Sadist...(and I dont call Myself a Professional Domme, because its not about being Dominant...I do that anyway...its about watching the body in pain and being the one to inflict that pain...) I charge because what I do is one hell of a work out, is not something I do every day, takes special planning and effort, and is something that I put a great deal of thought and work into. Granted the fee is not set...its not something that I ask for from everyone that comes to see Me...generally only ones that I know are doing drive by masochism....if I have an established relationship, be it friendship or what have you, then I dont look for it as much there.

But I do agree that it is rather sexist to say that men shouldnt be just as able to make money from doing something like this as women should. God knows there are some women out there that shouldnt be allowed to own a shoe lace, much less a flogger, that call themselves a Domme...and men are no different.

We live in an age of equality....so Im all about whats good for one should be good for the other.

_____________________________

Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name

Did I fail to mention...I am a BITCH?

(in reply to liketophoto)

Post #: 80

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