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RE: Is this really the message people are now getting? - 1/3/2006 10:45:22 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gbgirlz2003

quote:

I tend to think that this is really more about the money (and the pending lawsuit he has with his former employer). I have to think that once that is settled it will be her opportune time for filing papers.

There you have it...they are two peas in a pod. He is trying to get something for nothing from his employer and she is trying to do the same to him. What a great match. It is the "dom" she is running off to see that I would be concerned for.

If you read back through all the posts, HE is not trying to get something for nothing. I believe he was injured on the job and spent a lot of time disabled/recovering. I don't consider that to be trying to get something for nothing from his employer.

However, he was not being deceitful at all, reguardless of what you think about him suing his former employer ... so what the hubby is doing is not the same as what the wife was doing.

(in reply to gbgirlz2003)

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RE: Is this really the message people are now getting? - 1/3/2006 10:49:17 AM

Delvin

Posts: 151
Joined: 8/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I have a submissive acquiantance who is married to her Dominant. Both are fairly new to the lifestyle....less than 5 years. She called me a few weeks ago and told me that she would soon be divorcing him, although he knows nothing of her plans yet. She wants more time to build a nest egg before she drops the bomb....her words, not mine. I told her during that call that I didn't think that was really the most honorable way to proceed with this and left it at that.

Today I get a call from her saying that she is going out of town this weekend to meet a "new" Dom. She wanted to give me a "head's up" and let me know that she would be telling her Dom that she is going away with me and asked if I would cover her story. My answer to her was a flat out "NO". I will not become involved in her deception.

Well that led to a tirade about how I had better catch up with the times because this lifestyle is not what it used to be...it is now all about ACCEPTANCE! Just because I don't agree with what she is doing, I should still ACCEPT it....even cover it up for her. If I were really a true friend I would cover for her. Besides, everyone knows that submissives in the lifestyle today stand behind each other in a united front of sisterhood....obviously I must wish to be outside the circle of kinship. Huh????????

Please folks...am I losing it? Could this really be the message that people are getting today? Everyone can do whatever they want and it must be accepted by all?

No. This is a misguided version of the word acceptance. Originally from the many people I have been involved in over the years, the word was used to describe the non-hate of someone. Acceptance of a lifestyle. Whether you understand it, want to understand it or want anything to do with it, you at least attempt to accept it and move on. If someone is a liar, accept that they are that, and then you need to decide if you wish to be associated with them. If someone wishes to be a slave, you can at least accept that of them, then decide if you wish to associate with them. If someone is an ex-con, accept it, and decide. The list goes on. Stop the Hate is a nice slogan IF people actually try it vs. looking trendy.

You can "accept" that she is attempting to start this lifestyle and you can even "accept" that she is willing to divorce her husband and start it, but at no time, ever are you required to "accept" her lying. Now depending on your friendship with both her and her husband, speaking to him about this after confronting her that you will might be in order or simply sitting her down and explaining what she is doing is the wrong way to go about this and why you feel this way. He friendship is in question if she "expects" you to lie for her.

As for a united sister front (chuckles quietly) have you ever seen a room full of slaves for a weekend? Shoot take a look at this and many forums form time to time and watch the sisterly love lash out at each other. :)

So, do I need to compromise my honor by lying for someone? NO. Does this make me a bad friend? NO. It makes them a bad friend for expecting you to lie for them, to break your ethics and morals for them.

D

(in reply to mistoferin)

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RE: Is this really the message people are now getting? - 1/3/2006 11:45:15 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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I disagree you do not have to accept what someone does. cuase and effect!! its what is great about this country if you think someone sucks you can say so! freedom of speach act!! tolernce is ingornace of right and wrong !! its like say i may not want to pay the bill but the bills not going to go away and they usally tac on more interest. same with life how we react to things. and how affects us is important. we can be passive and say ok so thats all on them. or we can be active and say i want no part of it cause its wrong. . a fool is a fool no matter how many ways you paint it but no body is is abigger one then the one that goes along with the fool . its kinda of like whos reflection do you see in the mirror your true self or what people want you to see yep yep do the right thing always
.....

(in reply to Delvin)

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RE: Is this really the message people are now getting? - 1/3/2006 12:10:47 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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i saw something in one of the other post sense when did betrayal become acceptance thats totally stupid. if someone cheats on you get rid of them for crying outloud once a cheatter always a cheater. Lust is not a excuse to ditch someone or cause someone is a better top you learn and grow together and who wants a fractal relationship. thats what you create and bring to the table when you do not put 100 percent into someone that person knew what she was getting into when she started that relationship shes not finisher when it comes to personel relationships... do not use bdsm as an excuse to bail for example !!! oh he did not touch my mind oh he did sexual do this for me ya ya ya bs bsbs puts on kid gloves give me your shot lets talk ethics i want to applaud erin and the ones who said it was wrong and who are tried of the blurred lines lets change things for the better.. lets get these freaking tourest and fashion peeps out of our lifestyle. and as far as hate oh yeah baby i do not hate people just the stupid things that some do every one changes some just need a dose of reality karma does that you know yep yep

latexbaby
ps

< Message edited by LATEXBABY64 -- 1/3/2006 12:14:14 PM >

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

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RE: Is this really the message people are now getting? - 1/3/2006 6:13:56 PM

ehlovindom

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Please folks...am I losing it?

NO!

quote:

Could this really be the message that people are getting today?

Not from anyone I would associate with.

quote:

Everyone can do whatever they want and it must be accepted by all?

Again, no. I think you show, IMHO, some good moral values in dealing with this very disturbing situation. If you took out the words BDSM and just left it as a plain ole relationship, would your friends actions be any different? The fact your friend is lying and forcing you to lie belies the core essence of the lifestyle, that is HONESTY. Stick to your guns as this friend doesn't sound like one you should spend time with.

_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to mistoferin)

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RE: Is this really the message people are now getting? - 1/3/2006 7:51:20 PM

Smythe

Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
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There is a big difference between 'acceptance" and exhibiting no judgement. Acceptance does not just mean "anything is ok".

(in reply to Padriag)

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RE: Is this really the message people are now getting? - 1/4/2006 9:45:34 AM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
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Boy, she sounds like quite a catch, both as a friend and a submissive.

(in reply to mistoferin)

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RE: Is this really the message people are now getting? - 1/4/2006 3:12:55 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
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erin, I didn't catch your original post, but obviously you touched a chord because it's resurfaced.

You did the right thing, your friend the wrong thing. She became angry with you because she couldn't control your integrity.

(in reply to SweetDommes)

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