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RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 4:51:22 PM   
Poetryinpain


Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline 		I have learned, in my short experience in BDSM, that saying I will never do a certain thing may not always come true. There are activities I have never tried that may happen to me in the future - I may like or love them, or I may hate them. I guess the doing of the activity would not be up to me.

OTOH, there are certain activities that are dangerous for me because of a medical condition. I would need to trust the Dom to respect the limitations of my body and refrain from any activity that would bring harm to me. This also goes for psychological harm. There may be aspects of my personality that could use a little tweaking. (May be? Make that "There are" ...) If a Dom likes me as I am, however, there should be no need for intensive psychological reconditioning.

All that being said, my self-imposed limits list shrinks each time I try something new.

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to Maya2001)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 6:01:31 PM   
MasochistToy


Posts: 21
Joined: 1/18/2008
Status: offline 		Just to toss in my two cents here, in my own relationship Daddy and I have gotten to the point where I have no limits other than those he allows me. We have gotten there because we have taken the time to build trust. Daddy has gotten to know me and knows when to push, and when my body or mind have had enough.

And regarding the comment about Dominants on Collar Me who profess to not allow any limits right from the start, either they are so new themselves that they do not have a clue what it means to control another human being, or they are deluding themselves. As a submissive/slave/switch it is up to us to use our own common sense. It is a nice eye catching tidbit to sound bad and hard in your profile. You, as the submissive must develop an understanding of a dominant before surrendering. As another said previously in this thread (and I am new so forgive me if I have not quite gotten the terminology down yet) if you feel bad tingles of dread then steer clear. Good tingles that shiver and make you hum, spend some time getting to know them.

_____________________________

"Though time refeather the wing, ankle slip the ring, the once confined thing is never again free."

Daddys Masochist

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 7:11:25 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		A dom that's new will fantacize about what's real. He will sound like a porno novel.

A dom that lives in a fantasy world will sound like he knows a lot-he's a bit more real if he admits he doesn't know a lot about YOU.

A dom who is competent shows enough humility to admit that he knows some things. That he needs to learn others-and will never know EVERYTHING.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to MasochistToy)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 7:40:04 PM   
MasochistToy


Posts: 21
Joined: 1/18/2008
Status: offline 		Exactly! Admitting that you are a normal, flawed human being and are aware of that fact is the ultimate in being in control of yourself. If you can recognize your own flaws and admit to being a human being who is constantly learning then you are a person I want to konw.

My Daddy is in no way perfect, but neither am I. I have learned to trust him though, and surrender my will to his. It is very freeing, but never happens overnight. Time and patience and a willingness to uncover all parts good and bad is what it takes to have a lasting relationship, in this lifestyle or any other relationship. We just have extra benefits for our "naughty" secrets.

_____________________________

"Though time refeather the wing, ankle slip the ring, the once confined thing is never again free."

Daddys Masochist

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 7:41:51 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		All I really do is enable something that is already there to come out in a safe enviornment for it to be expressed. That's what my actual power is.

I open doors.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to MasochistToy)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 7:51:02 PM   
MasochistToy


Posts: 21
Joined: 1/18/2008
Status: offline 		Very nicely put. For anyone into the psychological side of D/s or whatever you may call this then having no limits would mean no doors were left to be opened. As stated previously my limits today are not my limits tomorrow. It is Daddy's recognition of where I am now and where he wants me to go, and his "plan" on how to get me there that are the real excitement in the journey we take each day. Trusting that he knows what my limits should be makes it more fulfilling and satisfying for me and for him. Least thats what he tells this one what makes it fulfilling for him.

_____________________________

"Though time refeather the wing, ankle slip the ring, the once confined thing is never again free."

Daddys Masochist

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:02:38 PM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

A dom that's new will fantacize about what's real. He will sound like a porno novel.

A dom that lives in a fantasy world will sound like he knows a lot-he's a bit more real if he admits he doesn't know a lot about YOU.

A dom who is competent shows enough humility to admit that he knows some things. That he needs to learn others-and will never know EVERYTHING.

THAT is so dead on the money...i can usually tell when a dom is new, first of all because he comes on far too strong, and secondly because he acts like he knows everything, specifially what i need. He will get NOWHERE with me...

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:04:59 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I think that a lot of people miss one thing when a Dom who knows what he is doing talks about you overcoming limits. It's not that he doesn't really lack respect-it's probably that he has some confidence in how you can learn to see further then-than you do now. Take it as a compliment and gesture of trust.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to MasochistToy)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:05:11 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

A dom that's new will fantacize about what's real. He will sound like a porno novel.

A dom that lives in a fantasy world will sound like he knows a lot-he's a bit more real if he admits he doesn't know a lot about YOU.

A dom who is competent shows enough humility to admit that he knows some things. That he needs to learn others-and will never know EVERYTHING.

THAT is so dead on the money...i can usually tell when a dom is new, first of all because he comes on far too strong, and secondly because he acts like he knows everything, specifially what i need. He will get NOWHERE with me...


*Dirk Steele took out his big, steamy Magic 8-Ball...... I see all, breathed Dirk.......*

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:12:54 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

A dom that's new will fantacize about what's real. He will sound like a porno novel.

A dom that lives in a fantasy world will sound like he knows a lot-he's a bit more real if he admits he doesn't know a lot about YOU.

A dom who is competent shows enough humility to admit that he knows some things. That he needs to learn others-and will never know EVERYTHING.

THAT is so dead on the money...i can usually tell when a dom is new, first of all because he comes on far too strong, and secondly because he acts like he knows everything, specifially what i need. He will get NOWHERE with me...


*Dirk Steele took out his big, steamy Magic 8-Ball...... I see all, breathed Dirk.......*


"I predict that my keybaord will become mysteriously sticky before the evening is over..", He prognosticated.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:17:01 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		A whole new meaning to having a key that sticks, hmm?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:18:02 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

A whole new meaning to having a key that sticks, hmm?


Blame the cat, everyone else does.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:20:41 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Damn that pussy.....

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:29:23 PM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

A dom that's new will fantacize about what's real. He will sound like a porno novel.

A dom that lives in a fantasy world will sound like he knows a lot-he's a bit more real if he admits he doesn't know a lot about YOU.

A dom who is competent shows enough humility to admit that he knows some things. That he needs to learn others-and will never know EVERYTHING.

THAT is so dead on the money...i can usually tell when a dom is new, first of all because he comes on far too strong, and secondly because he acts like he knows everything, specifially what i need. He will get NOWHERE with me...


*Dirk Steele took out his big, steamy Magic 8-Ball...... I see all, breathed Dirk.......*

Yeah like that...only it's not his Magic 8-ball he claims to be taking out..apparently they all have huge cocks too...methinks not

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:30:48 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		It's too big for a hamster.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:32:59 PM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Damn that pussy.....

Indeed! It gets me into trouble every time...

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:34:04 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix


Yeah like that...only it's not his Magic 8-ball he claims to be taking out..apparently they all have huge cocks too...methinks not


TV cameras add ten pounds, and evidently the pc adds several inches

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:36:19 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Bad pussy-it needs to be shaved and slapped.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 9:52:19 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MD1Master

No limits is a beautiful coda to the Dom/sub relationship.  By the time this point is reached, though there are "no limits" I would state that there are "no limits" within the agreed upon limits.  The trust has been built and the submissive understands that at the end, whenever that will be, she will be receive her reward.  This reward can take many forms and should address and target exact what the submissive needs and desires. 

There are always limits or at least bounds.  The Dom always should and must care for the submissive that has provided him with the ultimate gift, unconditional and absolute trust.


i think this is an excellent sumary of my views on the subject, particularly the bolded line...but just because people do not state or acknowledge a limit or a set of limits does not negate their existence...

on a personal level i have very few limits...those that i have are either due to medical conditions or for ptsd triggers - and those are stated as limits with new people for the ease of communication because i often play with more than just my owner, i know he has no intention of harming me, but there are those i play with that i don't have any intention of "getting to know" in order to just play with them...so i guess you could say that with my owner, i am one of those "no limit" slaves...i don't...because he actually forces me to have limits and boundaries, to tell him no when i don't like something or don't want to do it (not that he will listen if i am not being harmed) because that is what he wants...that is how he wants me to submit, and he is who i choose to submit to...and it works for me so i am happy with it...

take care
chelle

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to MD1Master)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: No Limits - 3/23/2008 5:44:34 AM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Bad pussy-it needs to be shaved and slapped.

Indeed it does.....whacha gonna do about it? *evil grin*

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 80
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