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ORIGINAL: Level

First, welcome.
 
Second, I hope you conquer your fear. If he's a good man, then he won't care. Better to know now, right?

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ORIGINAL: colouredin

Basically everyone I have been with has had more money than me because ive been in uni for the last three years, it doesnt make any differance really. IF anyone uses financial security as a reason to judge someone then I wouldnt want to be with that person. My probvlem has been pride, I like to pay my own way and feel very uncomfy if someone offers to pay for anything because its just not the way that I was bought up.

People unfortunalty make judgements about it, its an extention of the class ideas and people without money are just as guilty of it. In reality he knows you he is with you he clearly cant think that badly, they are probably just slips of the tounge. If he is really that bothered then I would suggets you can do better.

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ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

Sweety, I've been rich and I've been poor, and what really counts is your personality.  He will be paying much more attention to you than anything around you.  Remember, he cares for you or he wouldn't want to visit.  

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ORIGINAL: windchymes

There's a saying that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat the waitress. 

I think he's already shown his true colors by the comments he's made about "those" people.  He apparently considers himself better than "those" people because someone gave him a chunk of money that he did not have to earn.  Lucky him. 

I personally would invite him right into the house with  my head held high.  You have nothing to be ashamed of and a lot to be proud of, that you've provided your UM's with a home, food, clothes and love. 

Isn't it better to find out now if he's going to love you for who you are and not your financial status, before you invest too much more of yourself in the relationship?   

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ORIGINAL: hissweetbella

Part of me knows he won't care, but part of me is worried that he has a picture in his head that is better than what i have described and that he will be turned off when he gets here.  Totally my issue, i know, but it really has me upset.

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ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

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ORIGINAL: hissweetbella

First, hello everyone.  This is my first post here.  Hope it's okay to just jump right in. 

i've been struggling with something all afternoon.   A little background to help you understand the current situation.  Sir is a couple of years older than me, 44 to my 37, and is fortunate to be in a position where he does not need to work and is fairly well off and has few everyday responsibilities and lots of luxuries.  On the other hand, i am a single parent, work full time, and don't have much extra money left at the end of the month, and what is left always seems to go to things my rugrats need.  On more than one occasion he has made offhand comments about "those" people who buy their clothing at Wal-Mart or Target or who drive Chevys or other "cheap" cars or who live in mobile homes.  i always remind him that i am one of those people, and he always quickly backtracks and says something like everyone does what they have to in order to get by.  

The immediate issue for me is that he wants to come to visit me at my home next week.  i've always visited him before at his home, but he will be in my town on business next week and wants to stop by.  It may sound silly, but i am so scared.  After all his comments, i'm nervous about him seeing where i live.  My home is clean and comfotable, but it is an older house and tiny and there are repairs that need to be done that i just haven't had the money for, nothing structural, just cosmetic.  i've thought about asking if we could meet at a local restaurant, but at the same time, i feel i shouldn't be ashamed of what i have.  It's mine and i worked hard for it.  It's horrible, but i find myself thinking that he has no right to even think of being critical because he didn't work for anything he has but is living off an inheritance, then i feel guilty for thinking that way about Sir.  So, when he gets here, i'm going to open the door and invite him in and do my best to enjoy his company. 

My question is this.  Have any of you had relationships work out when the parties have very different incomes and lifestyles?  His comments about regular people have become fewer and fewer, so i believe they were said without thinking.  i don't think for one second that he intended to hurt my feelings.  i'm just so nervous right now that i'm rambling, so i'm going to just wait for your responses.

hello hissweetbella,

Be proud of who you are, and where you live!
your heart is a beautiful one, and that shows.
I'm a singlemom Myself, and I know where you're coming from.

you've done a great job , for being where you're at
in life. So feel that, and be proud of that

That's all that matters.

I wish you enough.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

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ORIGINAL: colouredin

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ORIGINAL: hissweetbella

Part of me knows he won't care, but part of me is worried that he has a picture in his head that is better than what i have described and that he will be turned off when he gets here.  Totally my issue, i know, but it really has me upset.

This is the first time on these forums that I have really wanted to give someone a cuddle. Sweetheart we all get these gitters about whatever our own insecurity is, but thats what it is, it comes from in us. You shouldnt feel any shame in who you are none at all and no one should make you feel any (even yourself) You have been with this man for a year, come on you picked him you know whether its really going to affect him, I am sure not really, everyone makes tactless jokes (I know I do the amout of clapping my hand to my mouth that I do is really rather absurd). Dont beat yourself up over this, the size of your house doesnt change who you are.

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ORIGINAL: hissweetbella

My question is this.  Have any of you had relationships work out when the parties have very different incomes and lifestyles?