RE: Fucking up really badly

RE: Fucking up really badly (Full Version)

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MontrealPhoenix -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 4:41:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx quote: ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix Yeah, i'm confused too, what happened exactly? You're wrong in one respect, Master or none you ARE still a slave, that hasn't changed in the least.... hugs and mushy stuff, Phoenix This is what happened on the outside: He asked me to go over to his place and asked how long could I stay. He asked; can you stay until 6 ish? THEN as it was a public holiday the tube (metro) trains were fucked up. I was all snuggled up and I asked if I could stay. He just looked like I was well nuthin buta piece of furniture and said no. It's messing with my head. It's like trying to do bdsm in a film set where there's some hidden audience somewhere. Like I know there's something going on I don't know about but the thing is it sounds paranoic. He simply doesn't want what I want and totally believes that a slave, or rather me, can give up wanting anything. That's what he means I suppose by me giving up my rights. Look I wanted it to work. I stuck around toolong believing it was. I always feel like I am having to teach him how to master me. It's not even consensul anymore. It isn't. I just decided that so i know I freed myself. I hate it this feeling I have. Oh geez, prin you can do soooo much better. He sounds like a right fuckwit to me. I know it hurts like hell now but you did the right thing. Since you don't want the same things, he wasn't the right one for you. I know what it is to stay with someone who isn't the right one out of believing it's not possible to do better, or that you deserve better but it SO is...just take your time, don't rush into anything....get to know the bloke as a person before you play. more hugs and mushy stuff, Phoenix

CalifChick -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 4:42:40 PM)
Okay, wait a minute. You wanted to spend the night and he said no, and now you're all drama'ed up over this? Seriously? THIS is what this is about?? Cali

stef -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 4:47:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Until you decide to actually listen to the advice, until you stop clinging to what you want to cling to, nothing will change. Nothing but her username, you mean. ~stef

mastervalentine -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 4:47:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx quote: ORIGINAL: Justme696 quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx . I was all snuggled up and I asked if I could stay. He just looked like I was well nuthin buta piece of furniture and said no. It's messing with my head. IS He new in your life? OR did this came as a supprise..his view on a slave? No he's not new in my life. It's the same bastard i keep running back to. It's different from inside the mindset to out of it. It looks crazy from outside the dynamic. He's new to being a master. You may not like what I have to say, or the way I choose to say it, but perhaps being harsh, and to the point is what we all need to hear right now. He is new to being a master, he does not know how to take care of you the way you need, nor does he seem inclined to want to learn, or listen to your needs. As far as your relationship with him is concerned, he is garbage. If you throw the garbage away, and go back to it ten days later, it is still going to be garbage. He may be /exactly/ what someone else wants, (one man's trash is another man's treasure, after all.) but to you (in my opinion) he seems horrendously incompatable. Walk away this time, and stay away, for your own sake. Crawling back to that mess is just asking for more needless and unenjoyable suffering.

verysweet -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 4:48:57 PM)
quote: He asked me to go over to his place and asked how long could I stay. He asked; can you stay until 6 ish? THEN as it was a public holiday the tube (metro) trains were fucked up. I was all snuggled up and I asked if I could stay. He just looked like I was well nuthin buta piece of furniture and said no. There was no mention made as to why you were not permitted to stay. I don't know anything about your relationship, only the little bit I've read here on the boards. All I have to say is this: You were there, and the trains were messed up. For whatever reason, he did not wish you to stay (maybe he had other committments, who knows). How did you get home? I can't imagine leaving someone in the lurch like that -- especially someone I cared for (or at the very least, someone I wanted to play with again). And to me, this has nothing to do with a M/s dynamic -- established or not. It has to do with common courtesy, which seems totally lost on this guy.

bbwsubnnorcal -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 4:49:24 PM)
Just because you are a slave, do not mistaken that for being a doormat because no matter what, at the end of the day, YOU are still responsible for your own thoughts, your own actions, and your own contributions to society and to those around you. YOU are responsible for your choices--whether good or bad. Now this was choice certainly wasn't your wisest but next time if you look back and think "Okay, am I making the same mistake?" and the answer comes back as a "No." then maybe this lesson was meant to be learned.

Griswold -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 4:51:53 PM)
Not meant as a hijack...but...bbwsubnnorcal.... I just wanted to say...I loooooooove your little script below: "i Have Nothing Against God, It's His Fanclub i Can't Stand!!!" (Couldn't have said it better m'sef [8D] )

GreedyTop -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 4:52:01 PM)
Prin.. I don't know what to say except HUGS You'll get through this, because you're strong.

Prinsexx -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 4:53:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Prin you've been given good advice about 5 cycles now- and each time you choose to ignore it, pretend things are happy for a few days and get condescending to the ones like me who warn you that this isn't over and you're just ignoring reality...only to have it all happen again. I understand you keep using "emotional masochist" as some justification for your actions, and you must have some need to blast it all over the public walls and feel happy from that- but seriously, what do you think will be different this time around? Until you decide to actually listen to the advice, until you stop clinging to what you want to cling to, nothing will change. LA despite the public support you have here I have never been condescending to you. I would NEVER have simply told you how fucked up you are. Remember?

Prinsexx -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 4:56:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mastervalentine quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx quote: ORIGINAL: Justme696 quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx . I was all snuggled up and I asked if I could stay. He just looked like I was well nuthin buta piece of furniture and said no. It's messing with my head. IS He new in your life? OR did this came as a supprise..his view on a slave? No he's not new in my life. It's the same bastard i keep running back to. It's different from inside the mindset to out of it. It looks crazy from outside the dynamic. He's new to being a master. You may not like what I have to say, or the way I choose to say it, but perhaps being harsh, and to the point is what we all need to hear right now. He is new to being a master, he does not know how to take care of you the way you need, nor does he seem inclined to want to learn, or listen to your needs. As far as your relationship with him is concerned, he is garbage. If you throw the garbage away, and go back to it ten days later, it is still going to be garbage. He may be /exactly/ what someone else wants, (one man's trash is another man's treasure, after all.) but to you (in my opinion) he seems horrendously incompatable. Walk away this time, and stay away, for your own sake. Crawling back to that mess is just asking for more needless and unenjoyable suffering. You are right and it wasn't harsh at all..

CalifChick -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 4:57:16 PM)
Prin, seriously, is there MORE to this than him just saying "no", you can't stay over?? Cali

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 5:00:30 PM)
So my question is, have you really free yourself? If you have I am very happy for you. What many of us wory about that is just another round in a never ending cycle. because if You always do what you've always done you will always get what you have always got. Mistakes and failure is not a bad thing. Especially when you learn from them. What isnt good is repeating the same mistakes time and time again. What I am hoping is that you really have mentally freed yourself and you know that you are worth more.

texancutie2 -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 5:00:53 PM)
Is there anyone in your life you can talk to about this? Anyone you can talk to on the phone even? Sometimes that is the best way to hear things...from people that know you and really care about you. When one posts to a public forum, one has to be prepared to hear things they don't wish to hear from strangers. It just sounds like you are just hoping to find a listening ear so you can vent. And having vented...you might just be hoping to hear some supportful words. I am so very sorry that you are going through this, but I really don't know what is going on in your relationship. I haven't been following every thread here. When the time is right, or when people feel they have no choice and can't take being in the situation they are in, they eventually move on. Maybe it is just not your time yet. Good luck to you!

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 5:04:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stef Nothing but her username, you mean. ~stef Indeed. They do keep choosing eachother, that should be a signal of something.

verysweet -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 5:06:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick Prin, seriously, is there MORE to this than him just saying "no", you can't stay over?? Cali Very good question, indeed.

mastervalentine -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 5:09:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: stef Nothing but her username, you mean. ~stef Indeed. They do keep choosing eachother, that should be a signal of something. ... To this... all I can do is shake my head sadly. People who simply aren't capable of caring for one another fight heaven and earth to hold to that which is familiar. And only end up miserable, and alone in a very deep, and painfully profound way. All it says to me is that one or both could use some guidance... but it is just an opinion. Just an opinion.

Prinsexx -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 5:10:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick I made it up on the spot. [:D] Cali too fucking brilliant x

Prinsexx -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 5:12:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick Prin, seriously, is there MORE to this than him just saying "no", you can't stay over?? Cali yes there is. He's damaged. Way way too much for me to fix. And there was me thinking as his slave that I might be 'the one'. That's what the more to it is.

kiwisub12 -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 5:19:36 PM)
Prin - you need to look up the definition of "co-dependent" and take heed. I know, I have been there - and you can't fix someone else! You can only fix you.

lronitulstahp -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/23/2008 5:24:01 PM)
We've all been there, done that, and many of us will do it again...Vanilla, BDSM, or any other type....these relationship things are hard f*****g work.... Best to you....[sm=flowers.gif]

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