RE: Fucking up really badly (Full Version)

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Prinsexx -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/24/2008 4:19:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

This would be a good time to point out that most therapists/psychologist/et. al. get into the field because they KNOW they are fucked up and want to self-diagnose.  The more open and honest they are about it, the better.

Thanks to Knight and Disenchanted, I think myself that I'm a bit too harsh at times, but ultimately I think it gets balanced.  Prin isn't a really good example of my cutting insight- it's like cutting through warm butter with a hot electric knife.

sorry LA that I just don't give you the cutting edge you so need.
Too many times in and out of the freezer maybe? past my sell by date? I just go back to the times when butter was by nature always soft enough and people dreamt of electric knives and feared lobotomies or other crude forms of intervention.
Actually the truth is I am one of those process types not construct types and as I said before am of the generation who just shared, or catharted if you will have it, or declared, in workshops and groups and used sharing as a process albeit experiential and phenominological.
No knives necessary. Some Brits do it like this, tear stained faces, tantrums, beating breasts, pulling hair right out there in a room or forum. After 29 years or more of sharing call it a habit of a life time. Everyone's vulnerable and everyone is weak and everyone needs just to be heard sometimes that's all. What ever comes back, be it agreement, disagreemnet, support or judgement so be it. I ain't here to safe face.



kiwisub12 -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/24/2008 4:27:24 PM)

As a therapist - a professional - how would you react if you had a client come to you and say that they aren't a complete person. That they need another to be a whole?
I'm thinking I know the answer!

I think you need a break from relationships, and attend to yourself with the dedication that you give to others. You are worth it! and dogon it! you are interesting enough. A little self cherishing would do you great!



Prinsexx -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/24/2008 4:45:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

As a therapist - a professional - how would you react if you had a client come to you and say that they aren't a complete person. That they need another to be a whole?
I'm thinking I know the answer!

I think you need a break from relationships, and attend to yourself with the dedication that you give to others. You are worth it! and dogon it! you are interesting enough. A little self cherishing would do you great!

Actually if hey cameto me with that one I would run them through the current thinking on co-dep and narcissism and co-narc type perhaps and types of co,narcs. Look to times in their childhood when and how the conjoinmnt took place and how it reflects upon or is mot relected in their current relationship. I have concluded reports like that for courts.
It's not usually that co-deps and co-narcs get to conjoinment levels if they don't originally come from conjoinment.

There then is a whole new set is issues as no one ego therefore really is able to do its entire functions and literally and always kind of has an instinct for another conjoined ego. Ther are quite a few Doms who only get their sense of being ,who they are, by having a sub. And a great many more masters who feel their mastery depends upon having a slave to master. Both are like opposite sides of the coin to such a degree that one side simply doesn't exist without the other so when I say i feel I am not a slave without a master i do so not because I am not a slave but because that slave part of me lies doormant and unable to function without a master. It's different than someone thinking oh how do I become a slave as if its an add-on or something they have to differentiate from subness.

I just haven't met a Master willing or able to express how and in which way their slaves make then feel whole. I might do but it's anothert thread..
So no, in answer to your first question I would be onto it like a shot, am fully able to help, and expect them at first  to be a kind of terrified with a strangled fear of then even being able to talk about it.
But its only dysfunctional if looked at from whole person ego.
all this is disclaimed and purely private opinion by the way



CelticPrince -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/24/2008 5:25:53 PM)

quote:

I thought if only he needs me. Then I thought if only he wants me. But it's all come tumbling down again and he doesn't do either.


Prinsexx,

I sense a deeper problem then even you hve presented and it appears fairly deep as it is. Why not spend some time with a mentor one on one. yes you profile shows a couple of years here on CM, but even the most experienced can get off track for a bit..

CP



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/24/2008 5:47:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
Actually the truth is I am one of those process types not construct types and as I said before am of the generation who just shared, or catharted if you will have it, or declared, in workshops and groups and used sharing as a process albeit experiential and phenominological.

And how's all that working for you now?



KnightofMists -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/24/2008 5:48:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mastervalentine

Like a storm-tossed ship, it would take a very stable and capable captain indeed to weather it well.


Even a stable and capable captain has a crew that he can rely on.....   But it is not the storm that is the problem..... It's the crew!



angelikaJ -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/24/2008 5:52:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx


No it really does not
(and the private email has been worth  the public hanging
as usual).
PS if  could find a better therapist than I am myself I would be there and would have been there for a considerable length of time. However there has never been a therapist I have ever encountered who has understood the concept of conjoined emotionality and all you singularegos out there don't understand it either.
I'll write the book when I have the time. If this sounds trite or terse or short tempered it certainly is not. Conjoined emotionality is what comes out of being a conjoined ego. The rules for when there is one of you simply don't apply to twins or triplets (unless they have been reared alone or separately). Being at a master's feet is like being with the other part of me except of course this one wasn't my twin and so wasn't feeling any of it. I thought it was perfect because he was bed ridden and helpless and I knew he would be cruel to mask his feelings of helplessness. But if he had never expeienced how someone else could serve him as an extension to himself tha  i couldn't both teach him that and doit at the same time.
Maybe if i found a blind master or deaf one I don't know yet but \anyway it wasn't his disability which was against him it was something tha t totally worked for me but I suppose he took it as loss of his own power.
Ok watch for the book Emorional conjoinment; aa study of split ego. *Only a Master makes me whole. It's not a fault line it just the way it is for me. Being a thir nakes me feel like I am in a couple by the way. That's waht else twins do as kids they usually share one friend bewteen them
Is there an expert on this in the therapeutic field?





Simply_put:
IF_you_could_fix_you,_you_would_have_all_ready_done_so.

*I_honestly_think_that_is_a_distortion_in_your_thinking.
 
Find_a_therapist_that_specializes_in_co-dependency...what_you_are_looking_for
(It_seems)_is_someone_with_whom_"the_rocks_in_his_head_fit_the_holes_in_yours".
 
2_dysfunctional_halfs_do_not_make_a_whole_person.



mistoferin -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/24/2008 6:42:39 PM)

Prinsexx,
After reading all your replies on this thread (and many of your other threads) that detail how abused, sad, angry, etc, etc, you are....if you really are an emotional masochist then by all rights you ought to be happier than a pig in shit.

A lot of people have been trying to tell you for a long time now....you REALLY need help. Do you think that everyone who has been following all of your accountings are entirely off base? If one of your clients told you that all of their family and friends had been telling them that they needed help but they couldn't see it themself....would you tell them that everyone was way off base? You are all over the place....up, down and a whole lot of sideways. Seriously, find SOMEONE in the mental health field that you have some respect for and talk to them.



Bound2One -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/24/2008 7:12:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
No he's not new in my life. It's the same bastard i keep running back to. It's different from inside the mindset to out of it. It looks crazy from outside the dynamic. He's new to being a master.



Prinsexx ...  he may be new to being a master, but wow, does he ever sound like he's been a user for a long while now - he's gotten very good at it.  Until you decide to say see ya to someone who is just using you, you're doomed to repeat the cycle.  I don't think it's emotional masochism - I'm not sure what I'd call it, but you've gone back and forth with this guy so much.  What is it going to take to exhaust you?   Then again, I know you have some issues of your own from your own posts that need to be worked through.  I'd strongly suggest taking the time to be sure you are in a better place before making another commitment.  You mentioned having a single profile on alt and having 40 views - perhaps it's easier to just plug on forward?



giveeverything -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/24/2008 8:39:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

if  could find a better therapist than I am myself I would be there and would have been there for a considerable length of time.
 
Conjoined emotionality is what comes out of being a conjoined ego.

Is there an expert on this in the therapeutic field?


You think you are the best therapist ever?  Really?  I have never heard someone say this before as a reason to avoid therapy.  It kind of shocked me really.  Do you think so little of your colleagues or are you really just that great?
 
Conjoined egos... etc... etc... what school of theraputic thougth is this?  Is this a common theoretical approach that I'm not aware of?  Is there empiracle proof of working with this model?  And once again YOU NEED TO REGULATE YOUR EMOTIONS.  Worry about this ego stuff after you've done that. 
 
Is there an expert on working with twins?  Is there an expert on working with victims of early childhood trauma?  abandonment issues?  YES, yes, and yes.  Whatever happend to you was traumatic.  Are you so special that nobody can help you.  NO. 
 
And LA, you're right.  Many of us go into this field because we are fucked up and cognasant of it (guilty as charged).  That is exactly why it's important to always be doing your own work. 
 
I fear, Prin, that you are sinking.  You need to print these posts out and show them to someone.  I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, this is simply painful to watch.  And frankly, I'm having a harder and harder time tracking you.  I'm having a hard time following your thoughts.  Print these out... get some help.



SimplyMichael -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/24/2008 9:19:40 PM)

That woman is a working therapist.  OH MY FUCKING GOD...

Almost makes me want to start biting my tongue before I send someone to a therapist but from personal experience, there ARE good ones out there.

I just can't fucking believe this thread...I don't think therapy is called for, I think we should all be chipping in for a padded room and some serious fucking drugs.



Gemini1766 -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/25/2008 2:58:45 AM)

I can believe she is a working, and successful therapist. She's able to act independently when she's doing work (work becomes her master), but take her out of the work environment and she changes.

Princexx, get over yourself when it comes to being a therapist. You need to seek out and find someone for you. You cannot heal thyself in this situation. We can point out the problems in others and help them heal. But most therapists I know (and I'm working on becoming one) see their own screw ups yet do nothing but rationalize. Just like you seem to be doing.

We are all complete in and of ourselves. Even if we do not  realize it. That is different from feeling happy when serving another, which is what you seem to do, as do so many other submissive types. There's nothing wrong with that. Just stop seeing happiness as being complete. The fact that you are so successful shows that you are able, and capable, by yourself.



Aileen1968 -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/25/2008 3:08:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

That woman is a working therapist.  OH MY FUCKING GOD...



I heard that Jerry Springer just hired her.



HeidiAnn -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/25/2008 10:46:05 AM)

The problem with us who counsel people as work (whatever sector we may be - i'm on social) is that we usually have a very convincing masks behind which we hide our own problems. My ex got really frustrated with how our couples-therapist was always on my side and to be honest i wasn't very happy with it either. We can be very convincing to others, and especially to ourselves, but that doesn't mean that half of the shit we spur out of our mouths about ourselves is true.:)

At our field i see people who smile too much all the time.

i do hope you listen to the good advices that has been given here, and i do hope you find someone to talk to, who sees behind these masks that we wear.

heidi



Madame4a -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/25/2008 10:53:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

That woman is a working therapist.  OH MY FUCKING GOD...



Yep.. I've been following this and that keeps coming to mind, although I must admit, its not the first time that I've said that about someone.

You're right though, there are good ones out there.

oh and I have nothing to add to the op -- it seems you've been told so many times.. I don't need to repeat. [sm=banghead.gif]



sub4service44 -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/25/2008 11:11:21 AM)

By now, i hope you've recouped some of your power and taken hold of your emotions.  My heart goes out to you but it seems you and the Master who released you have some communication issues.  As a Master, a man in control, he should offer you a concrete explanation as to why he released you.  He should have also protected you, knowing that his actions were going to attempt to fu#k with your emotional state.  Perhaps he wasn't a true Master. Did the two of you have any sort of contract?  It is my hope that you connect with a Master who will love and appreciate you for who you are as a slave. Emotional and psychological punishment can hurt far worse than anything physical.  Be careful out there. [;)]



sassysexygirl -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/25/2008 12:19:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maestro66babycak

You do not have to have a master to be a slave.


greetings A/all

ummmm, yes you do ~~
 
slave [slayv]   noun   (plural slaves)

Definition:

1. somebody forced to work for another: somebody who is forced to work for somebody else for no payment and is regarded as the property of that person.

2.  dominated person: somebody who is dominated by somebody or by something.

3.  somebody accepting another's rule:  somebody who meekly accepts being ruled by somebody else.

along with any other hundred definitions to be found in any given dictionary.

but really, what does it matter what you're called.  there's nothing wrong with being "a submissive" until you are owned.  it seems to me that is the least of your worries.

worry about getting out of this self-destructive timeloop you've put yourself into, hurt, heal, and get better.  i've done it.  most of us have done it.  it hurts, it sucks, it feels like your heart is being ripped our of your chest.  but that won't last forever.  you'll feel better, and get better, with a little luck, a lot of work, and time.

good luck OP, i hope things get better for you.
welll wishes A/all,
gemmie

P.S. Prinsexx - why do you type so freakin huge?? it's really kinda hard to read and a bit irritating



OsideGirl -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/25/2008 1:06:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65


It worries me that at the end of every mishap you've posted here you say that you've learned from it yet you keep falling back into the same situation.


This is the crux of the whole situation. Insanity is described as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.

Every post on this forum regarding your personal relationship is drama. Personally, I think you're addicted to drama. Because it's always drama and you just keep going back and feeding it.

I think you need to be alone for awhile, get your crap together, figure out who you are and figure out what you want out of life.



joy2u -> RE: Fucking up really badly (3/25/2008 2:38:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

I am.....just like some of you said. I am this time fucking up really badly.


You said it.  And, you are the only one who can do anything about it, or not.  It's your life.  You make your own choices.  You have the power to make your life as miserable or as wonderful as you choose. 
 
If you know who you are and, you know what you believe in and value and, you know what you need and want and what you enjoy and what nourishes your soul and what is good for you, then make the choices that are positive for you and will help to bring you closer to where you want to be and where you can be your best.  Or, wallow in your own misery.  It's your choice.
 
We each make the life that we live by the choices that we make.  No matter what, you always have a choice, whether to make your life better or not.  Nothing is perfect, in this life, but contentment and happiness is possible.  First, you have to feel that you deserve it.
 
joy
Owned servant of Master David



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