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RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 10:40:17 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

He's mad because I have no head. I am honored to have been singled out. Perhaps there is a protector in my future. I wonder if boot camp will make me sweat...

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 41

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 10:43:05 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

You know I actually think its a good idea, thats just me, I know there is a newbie chat room on here, lol first time I used it they were talking about something that totally freaked me and I never went back. However though I realise that there are the search facilities, lots of people want a personal perspective and lots of the 'old timers' on the site dont want to keep seeing the same questions, personally I dont mind I like answering I know that i have some really great advice form here from reading questions that came up that I wouldnt have thought to ask, so a newbie board may sort that out.

However the problem of protecting people wouldnt ever go away as people have mentioned some people put themselves at silly risk, but i do still think its a good idea.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to GiantSteps)

Post #: 42

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 10:48:38 AM

atursvcMaam

Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline

Sorry i had to look up "ad Hominem" Latin is not one of my languages. i still don't understand as comments were directed at my post, and seem to be right on point. if a missing head is upsetting, get over it. imagine and assume the rest of her is as lovely as what can be seen.

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(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 43

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 11:33:42 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Katy I noticed that you never look anyone in the eyes.

(in reply to atursvcMaam)

Post #: 44

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 12:15:50 PM

GiantSteps

Posts: 61
Joined: 3/23/2008
From: Nigh Philadelphia
Status: offline

Probably, Aileen, because everybody has an opinion, and any single one of them is exactly as wrong as it right.I finished my participation with this thread back around 4AM, when it became apparent that the experienced folks didn't have a taste for it and the inexperienced folks didn't have an interest in it. That is why it was labeled SUGGESTION.

In nice BIG letters.

I reconsidered, decided it was a bad suggestion, and recanted. On the board. Any other opinions are opinions, as valid as any other. However, this is the first of these who accused me of ulterior motives, sullying my rep.I've been extremely reasonable about this all around, but I draw the line when somebody calls into question my motives.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 45

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 12:23:08 PM

everhope

Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline

common sense is what one needs to navigate online and taking it to a face to face meeting. unfortunately, common sense is less common and most do not want to admit that they do not have it.

DV mentioned subfrenzy. this is a real state of mind for a new submissive. i suggest that a newbie submissive become familiar with the signs of subfrenzy and be able to identify when it may be clouding their better judgements. i know this makes one responsible for their own accountability and that some never will be responsible for what happens to them in their life. i also think some are simply drama whores who thrive on the " oh poor me ..look at what that big bad Dom did to me". oh well....we choose how we want to live our lives.

here in southern california, we do have a Dom and submissive boot camp. from my understanding, the classes have been well attended so i will assume by this fact that it is something people want.

i think the best way to avoid alot of the online bullshit is to get off line and make an effort to interact in the flesh with the BDSM community in ones area. i know there is a big argument about community and it is not easy for alot of people who live far from metro areas to do this, but i still think it is the best way...it was for me anyway. when i first started out, i lived a 2 hour drive one way to attend functions. it was important to me to learn from and to be exposed to people who really were living this life, so i walked my talk and did it.

my point is take responsibility for your education and your journey. being submissive does not make you unable to be proactive in what you want in your life.

may we all find our bliss,
everhope

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 46

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 12:46:58 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Boot camp would be a terrible idea UNLESS is was in the same undertaking as some of the 'finishing schools' or 'pony stables' you can join or have a weekend retreat at - then and only then may it be of some merit.

As was mentioned before, there is a huge ability for someone to abuse their position running or holding such a place.

I played on the first date and it rocked. The sex was mindblowing and the conversation was deep and intelligent. In fact I met, had coffee then played. I had minimal info and you know what? Worked for me. We are happily together. People do play on first meets, people do fuck up and sometimes, some people are assholes. As long as we are prepared to accept our own personal responsibilty then that rocks.

Giantsteps, no one was making a pointed remark at yourself or questioned your integrity. I know it is hard to 'breakinto' a new forum or group - Once you get to know people on a forum (regular posters) you will start to understand where they are coming from and they get to know you too. It is easier to just chill when there is nothing that needs defending - so welcome to the forums and have a great read and enjoy your participation.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to GiantSteps)

Post #: 47

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 12:56:34 PM

GiantSteps

Posts: 61
Joined: 3/23/2008
From: Nigh Philadelphia
Status: offline

Yeah - maybe I've had a stick up there, Darcy; it's been a long time since I've been on boards at all, and it's easy to forget that the written word without verbal clues is easy to mistake. If so, my appy-poly-loggies to Katie. My personal feelings about the abuse of new subs runs back a long, long time, and when I read that post suggesting that this was either cheap strategy or posturing, it lit the short fuse.

Suffice to say, my concern is as serious as a migrane; however it's pretty obvious that things are sink-or-swim, crash-burn and learn, so I'll just have to learn to shrug it off.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 48

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 12:59:19 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Well I was not attacking you directly. I was just pointing out that those who profess to be looking out for the best interests of others may have other things motivating them. Other not so nice things. I personally would not flock to a dominant who had a knight-in-shining-armor kink because I don't need to be saved.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to GiantSteps)

Post #: 49

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 1:03:30 PM

GiantSteps

Posts: 61
Joined: 3/23/2008
From: Nigh Philadelphia
Status: offline

Ah - hello! So I see - and so, to you personally I apologize. I obviously read that thing at the wrong angle and over-reacted; my bad.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 50

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 1:04:47 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

It's okay. No apology is necessary.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to GiantSteps)

Post #: 51

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 1:05:50 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I wanna be Col. Hogan, who wants to be Inga?

Bob Crane

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(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 52

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 1:13:30 PM

DragonLady5

Posts: 183
Joined: 3/19/2008
From: Upstate NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GiantSteps

Probably, Aileen, because everybody has an opinion, and any single one of them is exactly as wrong as it right.I finished my participation with this thread back around 4AM, when it became apparent that the experienced folks didn't have a taste for it and the inexperienced folks didn't have an interest in it. That is why it was labeled SUGGESTION.

In nice BIG letters.

I reconsidered, decided it was a bad suggestion, and recanted. On the board. Any other opinions are opinions, as valid as any other. However, this is the first of these who accused me of ulterior motives, sullying my rep.I've been extremely reasonable about this all around, but I draw the line when somebody calls into question my motives.

Please don't recant. I think it was a wonderful and compassionate idea. Many people do not have the time and/or patience to do all the research they should. Yes, it's their responsibility to educate themselves. But if someone is willing to make the effort to provide basic info all in one place, how could that not be anything but good? I don't think newbies need separated, but a reference area with common sense advice is certainly not going to hurt. And newbies probably are reading this thread and not posting because it seems that the idea, right from the beginning, seemed to get dissed by the vets. Who wants to play in shark-infested waters? That's an exaggeration and not meant to insult anyone, just trying to make a point. I'll bet lots of newbies have read the thread and don't feel comfortable posting while others are potentially calling them lazy and lacking in common sense.

(in reply to GiantSteps)

Post #: 53

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 1:41:07 PM

GiantSteps

Posts: 61
Joined: 3/23/2008
From: Nigh Philadelphia
Status: offline

My initial thought about the thing would simply have been a more focused newbie board, not unlike any other, but a place especially focused on the newbies to roll over FAQs on a regular basis plus the vet crowd in to answer the newbie crowd on questions regarding newbie stuff - the roll your eyes basics.

However, it's all a question of supply and demand, DragonLady - the folks who would provide the larnin' aren't with the concept, and the newbies haven't shown any outward sign that this kind of service would be welcomed by them. I couldn't sell this concept to a publisher under those kinds of conditions, so I think it's best simply to table the concept at this point. It's a grand idea, but nobody's buying - so we simply have to look at this pragmatically.

(in reply to DragonLady5)

Post #: 54

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 1:58:44 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GiantSteps

My initial thought about the thing would simply have been a more focused newbie board, not unlike any other, but a place especially focused on the newbies to roll over FAQs on a regular basis plus the vet crowd in to answer the newbie crowd on questions regarding newbie stuff - the roll your eyes basics.

What qualifies as a newbie?
Where do you draw the line from new to experienced?
Do you judge by things they have done?
Years they claim to have been involved in BDSM?
Does online involvment with no real time involvment make then a newbie or an experienced player?
Can you be experienced and a newbie at the same time?
How do you judge who is qualified to give advice to the newbies?

Sorry just a couple questions that come to mind

< Message edited by akisha -- 3/25/2008 1:59:28 PM >

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(in reply to GiantSteps)

Post #: 55

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 2:06:00 PM

TheLookingGirl

Posts: 162
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: A city near you.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThunderRoad

Go to Kinky Kollege in the fall. :)

www.kinkykollege.com

LMAO--who knew.

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The strongest & most effective force in assuring the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated,but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination.

(in reply to ThunderRoad)

Post #: 56

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 2:07:39 PM

TheLookingGirl

Posts: 162
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: A city near you.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

quote:

ORIGINAL: GiantSteps

My initial thought about the thing would simply have been a more focused newbie board, not unlike any other, but a place especially focused on the newbies to roll over FAQs on a regular basis plus the vet crowd in to answer the newbie crowd on questions regarding newbie stuff - the roll your eyes basics.

What qualifies as a newbie?
Where do you draw the line from new to experienced?
Do you judge by things they have done?
Years they claim to have been involved in BDSM?
Does online involvment with no real time involvment make then a newbie or an experienced player?
Can you be experienced and a newbie at the same time?
How do you judge who is qualified to give advice to the newbies?

Sorry just a couple questions that come to mind

Exactly what I was wondering akisha. Excuse my laziness...I'm quoteing everywhere.

_____________________________

The strongest & most effective force in assuring the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated,but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination.

(in reply to akisha)

Post #: 57

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 2:09:57 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Greeting GiantSteps...

(It's the.dark. posting btw - so you know - Darcy is out at a Velvet Revolver gig... lucky him)
I know it can be really frustrating when confronted with a new person who is in the middle of dominant or submissive frenzy and all they want is to meet and play and they disregard their own safety. But the frustration is our own responsibility, just as their safety is theirs. I know you already have come to that concluesion now tho... But as admirable as it is, you cannot 'save' everyone - indeed, not everyone wants saving - and if it is causing you a concern as a metaphorical migrane, then you are doing yourself a dis-service by taking on the weight of those who possibly may need to learn by their own mistakes. Stress is a killer - if you let him loose in your veins.
Have a wonderful day.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to GiantSteps)

Post #: 58

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 2:11:31 PM

GiantSteps

Posts: 61
Joined: 3/23/2008
From: Nigh Philadelphia
Status: offline

There's no judge, akisha - nor any headmaster. These things all seem to have self-generated after I left the discussion. This would have been a simple group project opening a fresh board strictly addressing newbie questions and rotating FAQs so the folks who are coming in here cold have some quick and proper venue to reach out to where they don't feel they're out of place or stupid in asking.

Any weirdness concerning forced incarceration must come from the tongue-in-cheek title I gave the suggestion.

++ Addendum ++

Once again, it's all post-mortum, but my view is that a VET is somebody who's been through the mill - a vet onliner is a vet onliner, but not neccessarily a vet RTer. My bet is the people that know would be the people that answer; it certainly seems to be the way this site works already. I'm not sure where the idea came from that the teachers on that theoretical board are any different, specially assigned or exclusive from the people who already post in these boards already - all this was to be was a specialty venue for questions.

If it helps to define, if I had questions about edgeplay, or breath control, or about ten dozen other aspects, I'd be a newbie, because I don't know a darn thing about 'em, and I'd be dangerous monkeying around with 'em without any elementary guidance.

< Message edited by GiantSteps -- 3/25/2008 2:31:06 PM >

(in reply to TheLookingGirl)

Post #: 59

RE: SUGGESTION - Newbie Boot camp - 3/25/2008 2:27:00 PM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Darcy is out at a Velvet Revolver gig... lucky him)

Very lucky him, grrrr Im so jealous (btw the.darkness hope you had a great day yesterday)

Op, If I remember correctly there is actually a faq thread somewhere that can actually be pulled up if needs be, I dont think ive ever seen it pulled up but if the myth is true it is there.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 60

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