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RE: Is any of this real? - 3/28/2008 9:47:26 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		The underlying problem isn't about "if this is real" or not. It's not even about playing out sexual fantasy vs. relationship building.

No, the reason there's a disconnect between men wanting sex all the time, and women wanting something "real" is because each gender has it's own way of seeking out long term love:

Men use sex to find love.

Women use love to find sex.

It's a subtle difference, but the emotional effect it can have when the two approaches are in conflict can be profound.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/28/2008 10:11:27 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I am seriously starting to wonder why so many people are anti- sex.  There have been so many threads lately about DS being more than kink.  About bdsm being beyond sex.  The attitude is almost like if you are enjoying what you do, you must be doing it wrong.
I like sex.
I like bdsm.
I like and engage in ds.
I must be a freak.
Kyst


Had this come from my own lips I would not have agreed more.

I like Sex
I like Kink
I like Love
I like BDSM
I like Control
I want them ALL in my relationship and it whatever amounts I PERSONALLY want them in.

Thank you Kyst that was WONDERFUL.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/28/2008 10:29:54 PM   
Poetryinpain


Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I am seriously starting to wonder why so many people are anti- sex.  There have been so many threads lately about DS being more than kink.  About bdsm being beyond sex.  The attitude is almost like if you are enjoying what you do, you must be doing it wrong.
I like sex.
I like bdsm.
I like and engage in ds.
I must be a freak.
Kyst


Had this come from my own lips I would not have agreed more.

I like Sex
I like Kink
I like Love
I like BDSM
I like Control
I want them ALL in my relationship and it whatever amounts I PERSONALLY want them in.

Thank you Kyst that was WONDERFUL.

Steel


Amen and thank you to both of you!

I'm a freak.
I'm happy to be a freak.
I love "doing" BDSM the way I do it. It's as real as it gets, and it has lots of sex in it. Love that sex! And love those beatings!
Woo-hoo! I'm a freak!!!

pip - who can get a bit freaky

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/28/2008 11:10:43 PM   
ophelialocke


Posts: 127
Joined: 9/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

can I just be in this for the dishes and laundry?

I mean the being tied up, beaten, humiliated and then fucked senseless and left sobbing in a heap is hot and all

but  nothing beats startching shirts

*returns quietly to her romance novel...The Cowboy and The Nursery Teacher"  Steve is about to tell Carla all about his mispent youth*



As he kicked open the door and strode into the farmhouse, he couldn't help but notice how suddenly out of place he was.  Standing there, stinking, sweaty, the smell and lather of horse still on him, his rowells cutting into the soft pine floor, he saw that the small house was neat as a pin.  And there, on the other side of the single room that served as both kitchen and dining room, stood that woman.   He'd ridden three hundred miles across stinking scrub desert and deep into the hot plains seeking her.  As he walked across the room towards her, to slap some sense into her, finally.... she rose up from her ironing board, and said simply. "Once you're done with me Steve, do you like light starch or heavy?"





Oh you guys you have been reading my journals. tsk.

(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/28/2008 11:45:00 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Most are really just role playing.

I guess life in general must be terribly boring.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to MidOhioDomme)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/28/2008 11:45:35 PM   
Willowmoon


Posts: 227
Joined: 9/25/2007
Status: offline 		I don't actaully like sex, I don't get what the big deal about it is, yeah its fun but its not the be all and end all of my life and its far from the reason I am a slave. This lifestlye is real to us we live it 24/7 365 days a year. I am his slave whether I am at uni, studying at home, doing the housework or making his lunch. Its real because he is Master and he is in charge, its real because I know that at any time he can give me an order and I will do it. Its real because its our life not just some game or fantasy that we are playing out. Hell if it was fantasy we would never fight, never have to worry about money or housework or what we are going to eat tonight.

(in reply to ophelialocke)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/29/2008 12:30:49 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MidOhioDomme

I've spent a lot of years exploring the D/s world, learning what it's all about.  But I've come to the conclusion that most in it are living out their fantasies and, as such, are disassociating from the reality of life.  Soooooooo many of the subs I meet are on this site as an outlet to their desire for sex sex sex and the kinkier the better.  How very sad I find this as I believe the D/s lifestyle can be very real and can coexist with the reality of life.  It would please me beyond anything to find a man who stands proud of himself in both his vanilla world and his D/s world.


I so can relate to what you're saying.
If one seeks a sub online for in real life,
the jungle is hard, and the wankers come from all over, and the promises are enormous.
Chasing A fantasy, I often wondered if I was doing the same. But patience help, because there are pearls online, who are genuine, and genuine seeking
a Real Dominant.

I wish you luck on your path.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to MidOhioDomme)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/29/2008 12:38:13 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bipolarber

The underlying problem isn't about "if this is real" or not. It's not even about playing out sexual fantasy vs. relationship building.

No, the reason there's a disconnect between men wanting sex all the time, and women wanting something "real" is because each gender has it's own way of seeking out long term love:

Men use sex to find love.

Women use love to find sex.

It's a subtle difference, but the emotional effect it can have when the two approaches are in conflict can be profound.

And loads of men use sex to just sex sex sex... and get off.
And loads think bdsm is a quick fix for them.
I've spoken to more then enough to know this.
And yes even woman are like that.
They r just here for a quick fix.

And yes you made a wise comment about how sexuality is different for each sexe.
That makes it so hard to find the right one
for you.

I wish you a lovely day.
Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to bipolarber)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/29/2008 1:35:31 AM   
Indemnis


Posts: 179
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		Fast reply, and I also only read the OP, feeling inclined to reply...

It's not always about simply being a slave.  For some it is kink... I for one will readily admit to being a 'bedroom' submissive.  I am up front about that, and if a potential Dominant dislikes this or doesn't agree, then he/she should probably move on, rather than tell me I am in the wrong for not being the 'correct' type of submissive.  (I have gotten this quite a bit, from people who were quite rude, telling me I wasn't a real slave, so on and so forth, that I needed to learn my place... when I never claimed to be a slave!  *end rant*)  People want what they want.  Who are you to say it's bad or good?  Is it so wrong to enjoy only, or mostly, the sexual side of BDSM?  It is in fact what a great part of it *is*... if some of us happened to have BDSM related kinkiness or fantasies... so what?
It sounds to me like you're just frustrated because you haven't found what you're seeking yet.
Don't get discouraged.  You will.  :)
In the meantime, realise that just because you feel a certian way doesn't mean others should not want what they want. 
I do honestly hope you find what you seek!  I just felt the need to put my 2 cents in, pitch my opinion.  Hope no offense was taken, as none was intended.

< Message edited by Indemnis -- 3/29/2008 1:41:56 AM >

_____________________________

No-one respects the flame quite like the fool who's badly burned-- Pete Townshend

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/29/2008 1:46:49 AM   
Hippiekinkster


Posts: 5512
Joined: 11/20/2007
From: Liechtenstein
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Most are really just role playing.

I guess life in general must be terribly boring.

I agree. It's like "Star Trek" for pervy head cases, frequently. You know, some slob puts on some Vulcan ears and walks around pretending he's Sarek. Eventually he'll find some silly little twat who buys into his idiocy because she's as lonely as he is. They get it on and, henceforth, he walks around with pointy prostheses and she spends half of her time on a pointy-ear board proclaiming his pointy-eared Masterfullness.

It gets even better. A sub-cult adopts "I, Mudd" as a template for pointy-eared fucking. Oh, never mind, I'll get too carried away if I keep going.

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/29/2008 1:48:39 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		I know what the OP is saying. I get so fucking sick of emails from males who call themselves slave, but are really just after kinky sex. BDSM is about lots of things, kinky sex only being one part of it.

Personally, I don't look at BDSM as a sexual thing either, which doesn't mean that I don't love sex.

To those of you who are really into the sex aspect, especially Miss Lips,  I can only say this................ya just pack of tarts (who I adore!!!).

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/29/2008 2:11:41 AM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Hey Hippie, under scrutiny again?? Better rephrase Your next response the guys upstairs have the tap on ya... Anyway back to the topic, isn't life a mystery as it is?? Here we are talking about things that an outsider would think that we are crazy demented and psychos... Or are we?? What is real?? The idea we want to live? There are so many of us for some strange reason they want to indulge in it, but what is it that gives us the drive to indulge in it?? Isn't it our sexuality? So even tho' we don't want to involve sexuality there is a strange again urge that pushes us to indulge in it... Its like wanting to get wet without touching the water or getting drunk without drinking or by just indulging of watching the bottle the color of the spirit the contours of the bottle... (#@*^ this, i'm hitting the bottle)

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!


(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/29/2008 4:25:11 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

can I just be in this for the dishes and laundry?

I mean the being tied up, beaten, humiliated and then fucked senseless and left sobbing in a heap is hot and all

but  nothing beats startching shirts

*returns quietly to her romance novel...The Cowboy and The Nursery Teacher"  Steve is about to tell Carla all about his mispent youth*



As he kicked open the door and strode into the farmhouse, he couldn't help but notice how suddenly out of place he was.  Standing there, stinking, sweaty, the smell and lather of horse still on him, his rowells cutting into the soft pine floor, he saw that the small house was neat as a pin.  And there, on the other side of the single room that served as both kitchen and dining room, stood that woman.   He'd ridden three hundred miles across stinking scrub desert and deep into the hot plains seeking her.  As he walked across the room towards her, to slap some sense into her, finally.... she rose up from her ironing board, and said simply. "Once you're done with me Steve, do you like light starch or heavy?"





Dont forget to stabalize the ironing board before using it. they can be so flimsy at times.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/29/2008 4:33:49 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

I know what the OP is saying. I get so fucking sick of emails from males who call themselves slave, but are really just after kinky sex. BDSM is about lots of things, kinky sex only being one part of it.

Personally, I don't look at BDSM as a sexual thing either, which doesn't mean that I don't love sex.

To those of you who are really into the sex aspect, especially Miss Lips,  I can only say this................ya just pack of tarts (who I adore!!!).


You know Devine Miss M? Perhaps its cause you only seek male service subs or because you're a challenge. I am a sub to Dominant men......Does anyone else here think it would be Oh sooo satisfying to spank this ladies ass and pull her hair and see the submission in her eyes???? Ok for some maybe Latigress too...

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/29/2008 4:37:52 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bipolarber

The underlying problem isn't about "if this is real" or not. It's not even about playing out sexual fantasy vs. relationship building.

No, the reason there's a disconnect between men wanting sex all the time, and women wanting something "real" is because each gender has it's own way of seeking out long term love:

Men use sex to find love.

Women use love to find sex.

It's a subtle difference, but the emotional effect it can have when the two approaches are in conflict can be profound.


Your thoughts mirror mine... the other night I was talking to a friend and said...

women fall in love and then have sex
men have sex and then fall in love...

of course nothing is that simple, but I think what you've said and what I've said are very true...

(in reply to bipolarber)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/29/2008 5:43:16 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

quote:

ORIGINAL: bipolarber

The underlying problem isn't about "if this is real" or not. It's not even about playing out sexual fantasy vs. relationship building.

No, the reason there's a disconnect between men wanting sex all the time, and women wanting something "real" is because each gender has it's own way of seeking out long term love:

Men use sex to find love.

Women use love to find sex.

It's a subtle difference, but the emotional effect it can have when the two approaches are in conflict can be profound.


Your thoughts mirror mine... the other night I was talking to a friend and said...

women fall in love and then have sex
men have sex and then fall in love...

of course nothing is that simple, but I think what you've said and what I've said are very true...


I tend to disagree with this, to a point. I think women have sex but call it love. They equate the 2. I dont wait til I fall in love to have sex. I do have sex and confuse the feelings with love.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/29/2008 6:00:23 AM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		I would like to join the ranks of those fine people who openly love sex.  What the hell is wrong with sex?!?! 

Hi, my name is Sondra, and I am a sexual deviant.  It's been about 18 hours since my last fix, and I intend to look into my next fix in, oh, 2, maybe 3 hours, depending on how long it takes at the DMV.

Is our D/s 24/7?  Hell, I don't know.  We get up and go to work and pay our bills and deal with the bastard government assholes and get on with life.  Sometimes he takes the lead, sometimes I do.  Sometimes he bosses me, sometimes I boss him, depending on who is best at or knows the most about what we are doing.  There are some things he does for me that are submissive in nature, and there are things I do for him that are Domme in nature, and none of it has to do with the sex.   We are in a RELATIONSHIP 24/7, whether we are in the bedroom or not.  The most important thing is that we are insanely in love with each other 24/7, regardless of who is dominating who.

Is it real?  More real than anything I've ever had in my life.  I am amazed over and over again with the amazing amount of love and tenderness this man poors out on me, and I am only just now learning how I might please him as well.  Sure, some people are just living in their fantasies, but you find that everywhere, bdsm or not.

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to MidOhioDomme)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/29/2008 6:31:20 AM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave


Is it real?  More real than anything I've ever had in my life.  I am amazed over and over again with the amazing amount of love and tenderness this man poors out on me, and I am only just now learning how I might please him as well.  Sure, some people are just living in their fantasies, but you find that everywhere, bdsm or not.



This is beautiful.
 
Count me in with the sex fiends!
 
Yes, I admit to having a real life, and a real 24/7 D/s relationship. Jobs, kids, bands, gigs, bills, cars, etc, etc. But, no matter what's going on, would I rather be having sex? And hot, sweaty, hurty, rough BDSM sex? YOU BETCHA!!!

_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/29/2008 6:50:24 AM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MidOhioDomme

I've spent a lot of years exploring the D/s world, learning what it's all about.  But I've come to the conclusion that most in it are living out their fantasies and, as such, are disassociating from the reality of life.  Soooooooo many of the subs I meet are on this site as an outlet to their desire for sex sex sex and the kinkier the better.  How very sad I find this as I believe the D/s lifestyle can be very real and can coexist with the reality of life.  It would please me beyond anything to find a man who stands proud of himself in both his vanilla world and his D/s world.




I can't speak for the other subs/slaves, male or female, but personally D/s has very little - nothing to do with sex and everything to do with the desire, indeed sometimes the craving, to submit to a dom. For me it's very much real and has nothing to do with fantasy.
 
I really hope you find who you're looking for, i believe he's out there.
 
Phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



(in reply to MidOhioDomme)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Is any of this real? - 3/29/2008 7:43:54 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

can I just be in this for the dishes and laundry?

I mean the being tied up, beaten, humiliated and then fucked senseless and left sobbing in a heap is hot and all

but  nothing beats startching shirts

*returns quietly to her romance novel...The Cowboy and The Nursery Teacher"  Steve is about to tell Carla all about his mispent youth*



As he kicked open the door and strode into the farmhouse, he couldn't help but notice how suddenly out of place he was.  Standing there, stinking, sweaty, the smell and lather of horse still on him, his rowells cutting into the soft pine floor, he saw that the small house was neat as a pin.  And there, on the other side of the single room that served as both kitchen and dining room, stood that woman.   He'd ridden three hundred miles across stinking scrub desert and deep into the hot plains seeking her.  As he walked across the room towards her, to slap some sense into her, finally.... she rose up from her ironing board, and said simply. "Once you're done with me Steve, do you like light starch or heavy?"





"Points to sign on wall next to the door. Take the big spurs off before you walk around".

And now back to cleaning horse tack. First show of the season in two weeks.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 40
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