RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt...

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RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... - 3/31/2008 5:37:46 PM

HerLord

Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

just for clarification...though completely irrelevant to the topic, because this is a bdsm message board, not a 12 step program message board...the conversation went something like this...hi, how's it going? alright, bummed out i will be missing the fight tonight...oh, why's that? my room mates are watching the all-star basket ball thing [continue to talk about sports and possible alternatives, outside of going to sports bars and strip clubs - there was one that he went to regularly that was both that had the fight on, to get to watch the fight, and avoiding replacing drugs with gambling for 20 or so minutes, decided that he just wants things the way he wanted them or nothing at all, as addicts are apt to do and move on to something else...strip clubs...] you know they say you should not have sex for the first year? i could not do without sex...well i did the whole meetings, meditation and masturbation thing, wore out a lot of batteries, occasionally had meaningless sex but it didn't do anything for me, but anyway, i am going back in, good luck with getting to watch your fight and staying out of strip clubs...and that is what i was following up on...

so, yes, if to give advice on staying out of relationships, strip clubs, and going other places and hanging out with other people and doing other things that lead back to the lifestyles and activies that brought us to the rooms is disrespect, please, disrespect me....

take care
chelle

ps. i never said i was in or at a meeting, i just said i knew him through a 12 step program...we do do things together other than meetings....oh and btw, it is NA, not that it matters, but just so you have your facts straight when you talk about me...*eyeroll*

Chelle... I took care to not be too offensive to your side on this because I have seen some of your other posts and regard you as at minimum Mostly intellegent. You stated in the OP that your Master or Lord, I forget wich word you used, commented to you on your flirting. If He noticed, So did dude at meeting/function. N/A, A/A, the steps are the same, and so are the policies. You, by flirting with some one in the Program, still put someone elses welfare on the line. Not to mention you also put yours at risk. I was not as concerned with this at first because I figured, it was after all, YOUR welfare, and YOUR decision to do with it as you choose. However, Dude had no recourse. This place you were, was sposed to be a safe place for him. Your apparently unwittingly flirtatiousnous, put him in a bad position. I hope you had the clarity to have your man check on him to be sure you aren't responsible for Dude turning in any of those O'so-precious sobriety chips/coins. Well of course not, but I damn sure woulda.

So Chelle, I was trying not to be cruel, Did it work on either post?

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RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... - 3/31/2008 6:33:19 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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well, since we're still on the subject...i come from a line of sponsorship, as does my Owner (that was the word i used), that says there is no excuse to use, not finances or romances, or anything or anyone...an addict uses because an addict wants to use and anything else is an excuse...i am not responsible for anyone else's relapse just as no one else was responsible for all of my relapses...i found many excuses to use again...i even found excuses to use after i had found recovery (which happens when you begin working the steps, or so the literature says) none of them were valid...i used because i am an addict and an addict not using is in an unnatural state...i did not compromise this guy's clean time by flirting with him no matter how he took it any more than he already had, because if an addict wants to use there is nothing you can do to stop them, and if an addict does not want to use, there are plenty of tools available to help them, you just have to pick them up and use them...go to a meeting, call your sponsor, call other recovering addicts, work the steps, pray, be of service, don't be around people, places and things of your addiction...it was not as if i had dropped a bag of dope in his lap or stripped naked and bent over a car...

i made an honest mistake - i have talked about those same things with other men in the program, it did not occur to me at the time that it would be different with a man who was brand new to the program, who was unattached and who was attracted to me...i didn't even realize the last part until the end of the coversation...sooo....can we jump off the chastise chelle bandwagon, i know how to behave in the rooms, my owner is the first and only recovering addict i have ever done anything with and as i have mentioned he has substantial clean time, so i am not 13th stepping there...the fact that he corrected my behavior where he did was due to the fact that we hang out with other recovering addicts, that is what we do...it is his field of business...

the topic is about the BDSM lifestyle...and for those of you who said the subculture has no standards i would say bull-hockey...to say that societal creatures have no societal values for their societal interactions would be a total lie...just because we do not acknowledge them on a group level does not mean they do not exist...

anyway, my Owner requires my attention
one to beam, Scotty
chelle

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RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... - 3/31/2008 6:48:50 PM

HerLord

Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL:CHELLEKITTY
anyway...this got me to thinking...1.is there a level of flirty-ness acceptable for men vs women in this lifestyle? 2.or is it submissives vs dominants? 3.does single vs in a relationship make a difference? 4.is there i only so much societal influence can do before instinct takes over, especially in regards to dominance structure?

As I have already posted to this probably too much, I shall make this attempt brief.
1. Yes. To the full gambit of spectrum. Full on "Go fuck who you like" to... "don't even think their name."
2. Yes. To the full gambit of spectrum. Full on "Go fuck who you like" to... "don't even think their name."
3. Not in the respect of flirtatiousness acceptance.
4. Aint entirely sure what you mean here... But, I'm going with "I give less than a fuck what any one else thinks, as long as My Love is smiling, so am I"

four... okay I'll only count three copper this time.

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