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RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 12:13:15 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyRainfire

And weight (whether heavy or light) is genetics. .




nope.. your weight is about how much food you put into your mouth and how many calories you burn from that food.

The reasons that you over eat, the relationship you have with food, the attitude you have about your body may well be something that is nurtured in you... but as an intelligent self controlling adult ... your weight has nothing to do with your DNA. Scientists may well prove beyond doubt there is a gene that supresses the signal to your brain that you are full, but as an adult you can make the decision to be logical, you have eaten a meal, it was sufficient to fill you, deal with the hunger pangs.. lose the weight

Until you can control and take responsibility for your relationship with food... you will always have a battle with your weight ..

I am over weight because I have a relationship with food that produces a negative outcome...its comforting to eat, I grew up in  family where the social focus was feeding times, feeding people is demonstrating love ..more food...more love. I eat when I am lonely, bored, frightened or upset. Now I realise this... I can stand in front of the fridge and make the decision...am I actually hungry.. or is my mind craving something that can be temporarily replaced with the feeling of a full stomach. Understanding that about myself, and accepting it,and learning to deal with it, has been one of the single most freeing things that has happened to me in my adult life.

< Message edited by softness -- 4/1/2008 12:14:35 PM >

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(in reply to LadyRainfire)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 12:18:08 PM   
Laro


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		True...........Sorta.  We all have a predisposistion for a body type. Genotype.  Fat guys are Endomorphs, Skinny Guys are Ectomorphs, and Muscular Guys are Mesomorphs.  That being said, you can control what you eat and your caloric intake, no question.  There were no fat people at the concentration camps. What she's saying is you cant make a St. Bernard a Greyhound.  You can have a skinny St. Bernard, or an overweight Greyhound, but they will never be the same............. 

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 12:23:34 PM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline 		My boy used to be a bit squishy 'round the middle, which I had absolutely no problem with.  But when he'd complain about wanting to lose weight I'd get nervous and say "Oh, you don't need to lose anything, you look fine."

One day he called me out on it and said that he KNEW he was overweight and I didn't have to pretend around him.  I felt a bit sheepish after that.  Of course now he's lost that weight and he's friggin' ripped, so no more need to worry about what to say anymore, heh heh.

And personally I always want people to tell me if I start getting ugly or fat (again) or just plain don't look good when I'm about to walk out the door.  The operative thing to keep in mind here is tact.  Break it to me gently or I'm likely to punch you.  Don't do what my boy did after I gained weight from my illness and say "Wow, you got really fat."    Of course I didn't punch him but I think I cried.

(in reply to ChemistryMaster1)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 12:30:59 PM   
LadyRainfire


Posts: 6040
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline 		You're right, Softness. I should have been more clear in my response. Sorry about that. Weight is a combination of things, emotional, physical and emotional. But we do have a disposition to a certain body type from our families. That being said, we can work through diet and exercise to keep it in shape. Or not keep it in shape. I make concious decisions on what I eat, my choice. I choose to eat healthier and limit junk intake. Lots of water, little soda pop. I've had problems with eating in the past so I make every bite count now. And don't beat myself up for the occasional indulgence. (Like that cream soda yesterday.)

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~ one half of "L&L"~

My current state of mind

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 12:47:36 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KCherry

If I found out someone was lying to me it would hurt me more than someone just telling me I was a fatty. >.<;


I agree with Cherry. I'd way rather someone be honest then lie to me. There is a way to be honest with out being an asshat though.

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 12:54:55 PM   
sassysexygirl


Posts: 213
Joined: 8/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Laro

I'll change the her apperance to make her my in my image of perfection. My image may or may not be yours and I don't prejudge what you may like.  I want to maximize her apperance using what natural gifts she already possess.  Curvy women can be corseted to accecuntate the swell and flares she already has.  I never try and make a St. Bernard into a greyhound.....I do controlthe diet though, both for health and apperance........


Greetings E/everyone :)

i know i have good control of myself in some areas, and horrible control of myself in others.  being able to watch what i eat and exercise and etc. -- i really suck at that discipline.  along with not using credit cards and a few others things i won't mention   anyway, i would hope my Master would help/make/work with/force/whatever is necessary, for me to be healthy and exquisitely beautiful in His eyes.  i would NEVER want Him to lie to make me feel better about my weight. 

well wishes to all,
gemmie

(in reply to Laro)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 12:56:25 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		For some, Softness, calories and lack of exercise can definately be more detrimental then to others, that's usually where the genetics come in.

And for some, eating too few calories can screw up their bodies and really create havoc on any future attempts at normal weight.

I wish it was all about exercise and lack of caloric intake, I'd be hot!

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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 2:02:34 PM   
warmdomination12


Posts: 20
Joined: 4/18/2007
Status: offline 		I never lie for those reasons. Especially if they ask my opinion.

When I ask them a question, I want the unvarnished truth.....regardless if it might hurt my feelings.

(in reply to ChemistryMaster1)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 2:12:18 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		We've had frank discussions about weight.  We both need to lose weight.  Losing weight has been extremely frustrating for me.  I can run two miles, kick ass in volleyball, kickbox, etc etc....yet dropping twenty pounds is a struggle.  If I said I need to lose 30lbs and he disagreed with me I would slowly begin to lose trust in him.  I know he thinks I'm hot, but I also need to know that he doesn't hold me up on a pedastal and ignore my problems.  You cannot help a person solve their problem if you refuse to admit they have one...even if it hurts their feelings.


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(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 3:51:57 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChemistryMaster1
Will a Dom/Master lie to his/her Sub to make him/her feel better about his/ her weight?

Why would someone lie to the one they chose to spend their lives with in an intimate personal relationship?

Would would a master lie to their slave?

Making someone feel better is generally a stupid reason to make the relationship weak overall.

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(in reply to ChemistryMaster1)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 6:07:01 PM   
PrincessEllie


Posts: 287
Joined: 11/30/2006
Status: offline 		If I was overweight and a Dom told me I was fine and fit, I would have trust issues with him should it prove wrong.
But on the other hand, if he said to me "You aren't skinny but I think you're beautiful anyway" it would be okay. As long as he doesn't lie, but he doesnt have to be mean about it. 

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May break my bones
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(in reply to ChemistryMaster1)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 6:39:53 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		My Sir likes his girls with abundant curves, and I suit that picture.  Having said that, he has also said if I wanted to loose weight, he would help me as much as he could. (he is soooo sweet). I feel better about myself now than i have ever done, even when I was 140 pound.
I would like to loose a few pound, but i llike to eat and so does my Sir.  so what is a girl to do?    just love the fact that my Sir loves all of me, and be happy.

If you think your sub/slave is overweight, and you have dropped hints, subtle and otherwise, then trust me, your sub/slave knows how you  feel. If this is a big issue for you , then you need to sit her down and set some ground rules and boundaries, and consequences. You also need to be prepared to either cave or carry through with the consequences if she doesn't meet your expectations.  

When i was raising my teenagers I had to choose the fights that were important to me, and if this weight issue is important to you, then you need to make an issue of it. You may lose your sub/slave , but if it is making you unhappy , then you need to do what is best for you.  Either way you need to either address it or let it go, and stop dropping hints to her. It will piss her off and make her (and you) unhappy.

(in reply to PrincessEllie)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 6:49:36 PM   
DarkVictory


Posts: 247
Joined: 8/7/2004
Status: offline
The notion that calories appear on your body from any source other than food is insane.  The notion that anything other than metabolic and physical activity consumes those calories is also insane.  Control those two and you will lose or gain weight, period.

For a given person, additional activity may be required to burn ten calories than for another person, but that's moot.  The *only* point is simple.  Diet and Exercise.  People who make it more complicated than that have a vested interest in it being complicated when its not.


(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 8:28:23 PM   
shysub0951


Posts: 132
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline 		i've asked my Dom a few times on whether he would still like me if i lost a lot of weight, he continues telling me no, that if i lost anymore weight, he wouldn't have a target for the cane or other implement

(in reply to ChemistryMaster1)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 8:31:01 PM   
ChemistryMaster1


Posts: 73
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory


The notion that calories appear on your body from any source other than food is insane.  The notion that anything other than metabolic and physical activity consumes those calories is also insane.  Control those two and you will lose or gain weight, period.

For a given person, additional activity may be required to burn ten calories than for another person, but that's moot.  The *only* point is simple.  Diet and Exercise.  People who make it more complicated than that have a vested interest in it being complicated when its not.





Very diplomatic!!
___________________________________

“If you want to piss it into someone, try to find that needle first.’  ~ Me




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Pharoh

<<<(...Duty First...)>>>

(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 8:32:33 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		The lies are usually the ones that fat chick tells herself.

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I'm not taking custom orders.

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Weight problem - 4/1/2008 8:39:30 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChemistryMaster1

Greetings!!

First of all, I do not and will not judge a person by the shell they come in; they are all beautiful creations from God.

Now here is my Question:

Will a Dom/Master lie to his/her Sub to make him/her feel better about his/ her weight?

I am really learning something new here everyday and pardon me if I posted silly topics which may not interest many people.


Pharoh


You have many options...but lying is not one of them...you can say you are happy with her just the way she is.....you can say her weight worries you about her health and then you need to back that up with a resolution and a plan that you can both agree to...but whatever the case...you have to decide if this is an issue of importance to you...and make whatever goal set, realistic and obtainable..do not set her up to fail by tyring for some kind of fantasy image you wish for...Tempting

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Weight problem - 4/2/2008 12:39:15 AM   
CountrySong


Posts: 554
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline 		Don't lie. It's a point of weakness and a luxury a Dom can't afford.

I actually like women who have a "healthy" amount of fat on them. The body needs fat to function properly but we live in an obese society. At the same time if that weight goes beyond that then it becomes a health hazard (for me that meant high blood pressure) and I'm responsible for the care and feeding of myself and my future sub or slave.

Dropping the pounds sucks. I know because I've dropped 45 pounds and 10 inches in the waist. For me it was an emotional eating problem that started in childhood. It is fairly rare to not be able to lose weight if you really want to. The only people I have seen that could not do it had medical issues like thyroid or mental health issues (Many mental health drugs cause weight gain.)

Don't lie the scale and the mirror don't.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Weight problem - 4/2/2008 1:37:13 AM   
BlueHnS


Posts: 166
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline 		In my circle I'm the person people come to when they want to know what everyone else won't tell them. I see no point in lying, about weight or anything else. If someone asks my opinion I'm willing to share it. There have though been times when I've given an individual an out as I'm not known for being politically correct and I realize they want cheap ego strokes, not the truth.

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(in reply to ChemistryMaster1)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Weight problem - 4/2/2008 4:11:26 AM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline 		  For myself
it is easier for me to "stop it"  at the 5 or 7 lb mark and be honest with myself.  vs  ignoring and living in denial.....then 30 lbs are there all of a sudden and its an issue..and usually MY issue then to deal with alone.
 
so I guess my answer would be
be honest with me  if its effecting your desire...my allure...our relationship >  WHEN it first becomes something You notice....vs waiting, being quiet  trying to ignore somehting that really does matter to you as though it does not.
 
We could  take a dance class together...take more walks together..  commit to riding bikes on the weekend instead of the car rides we take..
Make a healthy meal plan and shop and cook together ( for a committed amt of time ) and make it something enjoyable and fun.
 
Orgazms feel better than a snicker bar ....wait  thats stretchin it a little..
orgazms feel better than most food tastes...and so tell me that when I feel like eating something not on my meal plan that I can ask permission to suck your cock...and if you are not around, that I should cum for you ..
When I make a good choice vs something unhealthy I could have stuck in my mouth, that I will have a reward waiting for me..
 
Tell me that you want me to come to you and talk about my feelings and emotions  rather than eating over them or stuffing my face because I have tension or stress..
that YOU will help me relieve/release those  instead of the food doing it.
 
I guess my point is
  be supportive
telling me   "youre fat  I want you to do something about it"  may be the truth and your wish
but
there are positive ways to go about that  that can feel and be much more effective....for both you and for me.
 
Please don't sit on the couch next to me, weighing 50lbs overweight and eating a bag of cheetos and then look at me and tell me you think Im fat and unhealthy! thank you very  much.
 
I want to know
but I also don't want to slash my wrists (ok that was a bit dramatic but you get my point) because I have dissappointed you, you no longer find me attractive...wont desire and use my body anymore >and am Im now in a hole that I can't climb out of on my own, because we both ignored it for too long.
 
Tell me...then kiss me, fuck me and then tell me to get dressed we are going for a walk!
 

 

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to BlueHnS)
Profile   Post #: 60
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