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RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 9:32:36 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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quote:

What? NSYNC? I think JC is kinky.


that is actually a true story of my first meeting with my first Master...i moved in with him 4 months later and we were together for 1 1/2 years...i guess the first meeting wasn't so bad


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RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 9:32:59 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Soooo...meeting in a hotel room and being blindfolded and bound within the first minute is not a good idea???  Who knew?
 The first time I met R in the flesh, I had flown to Atlanta. I got his room key he left at the desk ( he was in a business meeting ), then I fell asleep curled up in a chair in his room. I woke up to see him leaning against the doorjamb just watching me with a smile. However... I had spent over a year chatting with him. I would not do that with someone I had no feeling for, or sense of. Out of all the ideas listed here the one that appeals most to me is meeting in a park. (but only during non winter)

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RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 9:48:01 AM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		If I felt I needed to take all those precautions, I would not meet the person.  Listen to your instincts.

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RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 11:26:07 AM   
Gemini1766


Posts: 991
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline 		Such precautions allow some people the ability to meet without feeling fear of being trapped.

If you've been communicating for a long time, including online forums, emails, voice chat/telephone, then such precautions are not going to be so much an issue.

Meeting someone for the first time who you have little interaction with but want to meet anyways, such precautions are a good idea, IMO. It gives a person a way to interact and see in person if it is real, or not, and the ability to leave at will.

Thanks for all the replies. Very nice and respectful. I like it.


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RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 2:48:45 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I met my Sir at Barnes and Noble - a place that i am very comfortable with, and have spent a lot of money in.  Sir and I were discussing our meeting one day, and he told me he found it very refreshing that i wanted to meet at a bookstore - apparently he is used to having subs wanting to meet at a bar or restaurant - which didn't occur to me. 

It was well lit, well frequented by other people, moderately noisy so we could talk freely, and a central location.

To each his own - but B&N will always have a special place in my heart

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RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 6:12:17 PM   
RedAnhedonia


Posts: 50
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline 		I have not been on this site long, however, I usually know within the first few chats whether or not I would feel comfortable meeting someone.  Since my CollarME birth, I have been chatting with a man who asked me to meet him this weekend.  Every thing seemed cool, the whole "no expectations" speech agreed by both... then he mentioned something that seemed like an overt expectation. 

I have now decided to postpone meeting him.  I got skittish... sure ... but what would you do if a guy you'd been talking to said "no expectations" then out of the blue  said he was going to get a room and bring me there and give me an enema .... sounds like an expectation to me!!! Not sure if he was serious (it hadn't been discussed) or if he was checking to see if it would freak me out .... well guess what?? It did.


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RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 6:39:59 PM   
midgetmafiosa


Posts: 195
Joined: 3/23/2008
From: Maine, and SLC, UT
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedAnhedonia

I have not been on this site long, however, I usually know within the first few chats whether or not I would feel comfortable meeting someone.  Since my CollarME birth, I have been chatting with a man who asked me to meet him this weekend.  Every thing seemed cool, the whole "no expectations" speech agreed by both... then he mentioned something that seemed like an overt expectation. 

I have now decided to postpone meeting him.  I got skittish... sure ... but what would you do if a guy you'd been talking to said "no expectations" then out of the blue  said he was going to get a room and bring me there and give me an enema .... sounds like an expectation to me!!! Not sure if he was serious (it hadn't been discussed) or if he was checking to see if it would freak me out .... well guess what?? It did.



Uh, yeah, dude. That would freak me out, too. I noticed your "birth" was on 3/26/2008. That ain't long, sista friend.

(in reply to RedAnhedonia)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 6:42:18 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		You did the right thing. Meetings should be at a bookstore or starbucks or something.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 6:52:57 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

You did the right thing. Meetings should be at a bookstore or starbucks or something.


My Sir and I met at barnes and Noble. We e-mailed for 3 weeks before we met. We kept in con tact through e-mail as he has e-mail on his blackberry. When we met we hadnt exchanged phone numbers or spoke on the phone. I liked this because if things dont work out and we dont hit it off I dont want the person to have my number. I guess he had the same thought as he never asked. We met at 2pm on a saturday. Well we hit it off fabulously. Then we left the bookstore and walked around downtown Evanston illinois( the place I live). It was october and the weather was still nice and it was a sunny day. We then found Ethels- a chocolate lounge. I went in and had chocolate and hot cocoa. We relaxed there on very comfy sofa. My back was killing me as I had pulled it that morning. I had a heat wrap on and took lots of aspirin. Something made me go anyway. I knew he was special. he rubbed my back as we sat there.
When he walked me to my car later and kissed me goodbye, the chemistry curled my toes. When I arrived back home i got some great e-mails on how he felt comfortable and could be his self. Then we finally exchanged phone numbers. We worked across the street from each other. That first week he met me to walk me to my car just to kiss me. That was so courtly!

what a beginning!

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 4/3/2008 6:56:24 PM >

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:20:49 PM   
Arrrchibald


Posts: 350
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline 		I prefer a quiet restaurant every time. 

I have to know whether or not she chews with her mouth open. 

It's the mother of all deal-breakers. 

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:24:06 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedAnhedonia

... but what would you do if a guy you'd been talking to said "no expectations" then out of the blue  said he was going to get a room and bring me there and give me an enema .... sounds like an expectation to me!!! Not sure if he was serious (it hadn't been discussed) or if he was checking to see if it would freak me out .... well guess what?? It did.




Damn!! Talk about what could have been an "explosive" first meet! i think you made a wise choice

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(in reply to RedAnhedonia)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:24:34 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedAnhedonia

I have now decided to postpone meeting him.  I got skittish... sure ... but what would you do if a guy you'd been talking to said "no expectations" then out of the blue  said he was going to get a room and bring me there and give me an enema .... sounds like an expectation to me!!! Not sure if he was serious (it hadn't been discussed) or if he was checking to see if it would freak me out .... well guess what?? It did.




That would actually turn me on.  I love to play on first meet.  I think the fact that it's somewhat dangersous is part of the appeal for me.

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RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:30:25 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

...... I love to play on first meet.  I think the fact that it's somewhat dangersous is part of the appeal for me.


i have too and would agree with you but......an enema? i guess i just had to do so many when i worked at the hospital - i can't even consider it for play, and on a first meet no less!

< Message edited by dawntreader -- 4/3/2008 7:31:07 PM >

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:31:49 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Noooo....the enema is for the second date.  Every one knows that.  I meant just the thought of playing not the specific act that she mentioned. 

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RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:35:08 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Noooo....the enema is for the second date.  Every one knows that. 


Well, see...i lent my BDSM 101 book to BillCT and he has not returned it yet so i must have missed that chapter!



_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 8:29:11 PM   
RedAnhedonia


Posts: 50
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline 		Well I'm glad I decided to hold off .... I didnt know about the second date rule .... with the enema thing ...

As for the explosive first meeting ... ummm yeah ... I usually hope for it to be explosive in other ways.  I'm not opposed to playing on a first meet if the chemistry and everything feels right ... but you can bet your ass at least 10 different people will know where I am, and "who" I am meeting with.  I always make sure SOMEONE knows whatever I know, about who I am going to meet with, if it is a NEW person in my life I am going to meet. 

I have been on  other non-BDSM sites, and that has always been soemthing I have done.  It's good to have trusted friends, who will worry about you if they don't hear from you in a day or so.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 9:35:20 PM   
faithfulfemme


Posts: 113
Joined: 5/24/2007
Status: offline 		One of the things i look for when meeting someone for the first time is a big parking lot.  i don't like the idea of a first meeting-type person seeing my car, and my plates.  If the meeting turns out to be weird, i'd just as soon go home anonymous in every way i can.......
 
When i was in San Diego there was a great coffee shop in a strip mall which actually was kinda semi-circular in shape, was very busy, and the parking lot was such that you almost had to follow someone to see their car when they left.  Unless you had the bad luck to park in their row.................It was great for meeting people for the first time.......

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RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 10:44:22 PM   
katie978


Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah


Some of my Favorite First meet places are.

Mini Golf places.




I advise against this one, strongly. I got set-up on a blind date, with one caveat beforehand..."He's kinda dumb."

Ball jokes get REALLY old after an hour and a half on mini-golf. Really, really old.

  Note to all men: Ball jokes are almost never a good idea on a first date.

   Balls aside, try meeting someplace where you can do several things...if you meet for coffee, make it at a mall where you could also see a movie or get dinner, that way you're not driving in some random dom's car. Like certain...non-cautious people.



< Message edited by katie978 -- 4/3/2008 10:49:02 PM >

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RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 11:17:46 PM   
Skully7000


Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah



See I don't care for Bars and things so I actaully have to force myself to go to Munches and I usually find that meeting at a munch is often a VERY BAD IDEA. Sometimes it can just be OVERLOAD for a newly budding relationship and I fdind Munches are breeding grounds for arrogance. Not from everyone mind you but we all know the guy at the munch who is just a little too forward and when he smells someone new at a munch becomes a little to interested in them.


Steel


hmm see I'm really big on meeting people in the enviorment that I frequent the most. Bars/clubs are hard b/c it inhibits talking...but on the other hand. if its someone I've talked to enough to want to meet chances are they are a cool person and the question is just that of chemistry(so if the chemistry isn't their but they are still a cool person ...then I can introduce them to my friends)

Munches are my number one choice though... its a pleasurable enviorment with alot of people ready to meet up. and going around and introducing someone to a bunch of people...Even the "Fresh Meat Bloodhound" works in my favor. (and personally I get a smidgeon of satisfaction of Cockblocking the FMB) but because its a slightly chaotic enviorment  it takes the focus off of just the two of us. (basically eliminating akward silences) it allows the night to unfold naturally rather then forcing anything between the two of us.

also you get to see how well they interact with people(not the face they are putting on just for you) and Vice-versa
*******************************

in the end though as i write this: I think it comes down to meeting up in a situation that you are comfortable with and also gives the oppurtunity to shine.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 11:22:50 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: katie978

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah


Some of my Favorite First meet places are.

Mini Golf places.




I advise against this one, strongly. I got set-up on a blind date, with one caveat beforehand..."He's kinda dumb."

Ball jokes get REALLY old after an hour and a half on mini-golf. Really, really old. 




And you were warned.  Go Figure

BadOne


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Profile   Post #: 40
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