RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 4 [5]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/8/2008 6:58:07 AM

flowered

Posts: 42
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

6. Take your own car. If you do not have a car, travel with your safe call, who should be there with you. Do not under any circumstances get into the persons car. You lose control of your safety if you do.

I always get in the car.
Only once ever regreted it- saw a guy got in the car, went to a dinner, talked.
Then everytime I mention something, a question comes along "How close are you to them?" "How often do you see them?" "How many roommates did you say you had? Not there much right?"

The way he asked was just diferent, kinda intense.
Now generally I am the oposite of paranoid, but there seemed to be a pattern developing along the lines of "How much would you be missed?"
So... "I don't see my sister much, but she checks backgrounds for a living. It's funny, half the time my daddy has her do checks on guys i am seeing! "
"Saddly all the girls in my family are 5'3 and under, whereas all the boys are bout 6'2 +, all of my brothers are older then me to... ><"
"Very close family, dad has 4 brothers and a sister, even have the uncle with a bunch of shotguns and a ugly dog- designated redneck. Decided our family had to have one- Am his favorite niece"

Seriously the only time I ever understood the term "creeped out"

_____________________________

I love life.
I love to laugh.
I love to be loved.

(in reply to BlackPhx)

Profile

Post #: 81

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/8/2008 7:14:26 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I would never have met him if he wanted me to go to a munch where he knew everyone and I knew nobody. Nice nonpressure environment, 30 of his friends checking me out, NOT.

And I guess I shouldn't be alive, no safe call, got into his car, got hot and heavy on the first date. Instead we're heading for five years.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to SailingBum)

Profile

Post #: 82

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/8/2008 7:33:46 AM

Gemini1766

Posts: 991
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline

DesFIP, it works for some.

For others, there's milk cartons and Amber alerts.

_____________________________

"Strangers do not owe strangers anything, beyond an obeisance to the laws mutual conduct as dictated by the land in which they live. Anything else is negotiable." puella

"TwistedKinkerBell's online male companion of a nearly intimate nature."

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 83

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/8/2008 7:37:27 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I SO wanted to fuck her in the parking lot but it wasn't till a few visits later that I got to bend her over in a parking lot and take her.

That said, it is somewhat nutz for a woman to do any of the above...

yeah in theory...but in real it is nice :D
(just don't do it when you just talked once )
(and watch the security camera's)

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Profile

Post #: 84

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/8/2008 7:53:16 AM

zhouwuatsien

Posts: 60
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I prefer a place that is conducive for a face to cock meeting. A true meeting of the minds.

I let her choose a place that she is comfortable with....If she suggests a bowling alley or a nascar event there is a pretty good fuckin' chance I ain't showing!

Yeah, honestly speaking I laughed so hard at this it was great. Don't underestimate the Domidong

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

With BSB, I had told her what to wear (and not wear) and instructed her to stand facing the window looking out of the airport. She was to stand still so I could inspect her (I rather approved!!!) and to NOT move her head while I slid my hands into her hair. I SO wanted to fuck her in the parking lot but it wasn't till a few visits later that I got to bend her over in a parking lot and take her.

That said, it is somewhat nutz for a woman to do any of the above...

Women are insane. That's what makes them women.

I don't know. Even though I'm dominant I don't think I'm imposing enough to trigger any girl's "threatening" feeling.

I've taken girls to nature walks at 6a, or sometimes I've gone straight to their house. This one girl in Maryland. I never met at all, and she got picked up in my car to go straight to a Hotel. But honestly speaking I think it has more to do with the 'comfort' you have before you meet each other. I would never meet with a girl ONline if she didn't feel it was worth it or she had to "See me" to judge whether she liked me or not. If she has to "See me" and "interact with me in real life" to know if she likes me or not then honestly speaking... I just don't think it's meant to be.

This might sound really bad but. Sex on the first meeting doesn't seem wrong to me. If the connection is there, if the feeling and the bond is there. Then I wonder why some people put it off. Of course then again. I don't deal with girls who are into a lot of masochistic themes... So I guess I'd be a lot more vanilla than most the guys here on CM. I don't think I've ever had a "Play session" in my life. It's just what it is is what it is.

So if the trust is there...

I normally like to see the Sunrise with a person. That way, the pressure of seeing the person for the rest of the day isn't there. Although everytime I've always wanted to. It's not going to a diner or a cafe, because there's the pressure of the oncoming night time.

The Beach. The Forest. I like those.

Another thing I like to do is go clothes shopping. The submissive or slave can tag a long while I try on new outfits.

I remember this one time, I met someone new from the internet. (not CM but another Ds relationship) While I was working from home. It was just the nicest feeling of having someone nearby while I was working.

But more important than first "face to face" meetings I think is just... Being honest with yourself.

If there's any suspicion at all. Why see the person? There's hundreds if not millions other guys/girls out there.

< Message edited by zhouwuatsien -- 4/8/2008 8:01:15 AM >

(in reply to Justme696)

Profile

Post #: 85

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/8/2008 8:19:56 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

First of all, I wouldn't plan to play unless Y/you both know what limits there are, have agreed a safe word and are happy that Y/you B/both know the rules and will stick by them. For a first meeting though, I'd just "hang out" and see what common ground Y/you have as fellow human beings, sounds boring, but you need to know there's a real connection with the person you're meeting and they need to do the same.

(in reply to Gemini1766)

Profile

Post #: 86

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/19/2008 9:19:20 AM

Marysboi

Posts: 52
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline

Having a picnic was fun, went to a store and handed my date a 20. and told her I was going to shop as well, meet in 15 minutes at the check out stand. Ate at a spot where we could watch people an talk. Was really fun to see what was bought. Did this once with a bottle of wine and was dressed to the 9's, Was quite romatic and others passed by and commented .

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)

Profile

Post #: 87

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/19/2008 9:38:34 AM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline

*quick reply*

Starbucks is a great idea, have a cup of coffee and if things are not going well then leave after your finished. i normally have a safe call or text even when meeting in public, so if its going bad you can get out even faster. *shrug*

i had a great vanilla date at Dave and Busters, which i think would be a GREAT place to meet. Lots of games, bowling, food, drinks, and tons of people. Plus, playing some games will help you relax and laugh. Kinda gives you something to talk about if y'all are too quiet.

i live somewhat close to a lake where tons of people go, so that would be a good place also.

Its all about what you feel is best for yourself, but even in public i think its best to have a safe call. :)

< Message edited by Sandyshores29718 -- 4/19/2008 9:41:14 AM >

(in reply to domiguy)

Profile

Post #: 88

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/20/2008 5:01:35 PM

Passion357

Posts: 481
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

Greetings, All,

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

The point I am trying to make (and it's the same point I make every time this thread or a similar one pops up) is that you can do everything "wrong" on a first meet and have a great time just as you can explicitly follow all of the safety rules you read online and still end up in hot water. I know there are certainly people who have been protected by their pre-meet precautions, too.

I think people should put in place whatever measures they feel necessary to give them peace of mind but still be aware that peace of mind is not a safety guarantee. There is nothing wrong with a "better safe than sorry" approach to meeting new people as long as one understands that it is actually more like "better safer than sorry". It's discouraging to watch people get lulled into a false sense of security just because they crossed all the t's and dotted all the i's beforehand. If anyone thinks a dominant with a Ted Bundy fetish is gonna be hampered greatly by a few safe calls they are in for a rude awakening.

Master and I talked for 2 weeks online and on the phone. Every day, save maybe 2, as often as we could. We knew we wanted to meet so we did.
We decided to meet half way between his house and mine and spend a few days in a motel I chose. A friend drove me out there with full intent on dropping me off as soon as I was "safe". We actually *met* in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart in the middle of the day. He followed the friend and I to the motel where we said good bye to the friend and carried our things into the room.

We talked, we ate, we played, had amazing sex, laughed, showered, watched TV... We acted like we'd know each other for years.
Within a month we were living together. We still are. We currently work at the same place, same hours, same pay rate. Just not the exact same job.

What can I say? God said Yes.

<edited because I need to be clear and realize newbies are reading this too>

I am not saying this is ideal. I am NOT saying this is safe. I am saying I agree with what Evility said up there ^ and I am telling what I did. I had never met anyone like that before. I certainly had never placed myself, or anyone else, in that much potential danger. In fact I had met women from online before and would not allow such behavior. They were to have daily safe calls, money of their own, a way to get out, the number to the local police and sheriff stations, and were not allowed to sleep with me ( non sexual ) at the first meeting under any circumstances. There was certainly NO SEX.

I have done this both ways, I suppose one might say. All meetings, save one, were excellent.

Well Wishes,
~Passion~

< Message edited by Passion357 -- 4/20/2008 5:20:35 PM >

(in reply to Evility)

Profile

Post #: 89