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What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 1:23:04 PM

SinCityDomCpl

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline

I've been blessed enough to never have had a truly horrible/terrifying/life threatening BDSM experience. Ironically enough, the worst things that have ever happened to me in a relationship were in the vanilla realm. For the most most part, especially now days, it's just disappointment (i.e. people not looking like their picture, not showing up, wasting my time, etc.). But one other half has had some close calls and really bad experiences. He had such bad luck (or was it judgement, I sometimes wonder) that I need to prove to him he isn't alone. Anyone care to share?

Post #: 1

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 1:32:04 PM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

My first play experiance was bad, i was all a bit frenzied up and the guy chocked me, I had a full on panic attack it was pretty bad, worst D/s experiance isnt play wise its more end of relationship wise, they really suck.

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Post #: 2

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 1:32:51 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

It usually come down to not utilizing your noodle. Nothing more nothing less....Oooops, let us not forget building up expectations where there should be none.

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Post #: 3

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 1:36:09 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

It usually come down to not utilizing your noodle. Nothing more nothing less....Oooops, let us not forget building up expectations where there should be none.

i agree...although not building expectations is pretty hard to do.

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 4

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 1:37:07 PM

metamorpha

Posts: 35
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline

I got a fisting from my Master, and I was screaming to stop. He sharply told me to relax, continued, then sexually took me anally with no preparation. It went from a consensual and happy experience to a rape.

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 5

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 1:39:17 PM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

I've never had a bad physical expereince, but I've had conversations with men that led me to believe that if I met them I would have quite a horrific story to tell.

And those are always the ones who end the conversation where I tell them that we aren't compatible with a "your loss" come back. hmmmm

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)

Post #: 6

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 1:42:59 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Took a 10 hour drive to Reno when I lived in Vegas to meet with a sub I had been talking to via the Net for nearly a Year at the point I went to visit. I had talked to her for almost three months before I decided to take the drive. The intention was to spend a weekend with her and her friend in a Condo they rented. When I showed up at the door however I learnd a few things.

1) A Picture is a reflection of a person at thier best, She WAS in fact pretty however in person it was obvious this 22 year old girl was really 13.

2) When you ask a persons Father to speak with thier 13 year old daughter and asked "Why?" it is ALWAYS a bad thing to answer "I don't see how that is any of your business"

3) Things I will NEVER do again before I meet someone in person and CARD THEM.

Phonesex before meeting
Discuss erotic fantasies
Send Erotic Photos.

The worst part of all this was at first she wasn't going to come clean and a very angry father was nearly ready to dial 911. It was only because I was able to tell them the things that she had told me that the Father realized that I was on the level and THOUGHT I WAS meeting a 22 year old woman not a 13 year old child.

Because of this I am VERY quick to want to meet people in real life. If you can't make the effort to meet me as soon as possible then there really isn't afuture for us.

By the way SCDC, Vegas is my old Stopming ground if you want I can suggest many places for you to go to meet REAL people and help you get away from the Online Crowd. I used to belong to most of the munches in Vegas before I moved to Utah.

Steel

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(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)

Post #: 7

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 1:45:07 PM

Luciferica

Posts: 231
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline

Most of my bad experiences are in the vanilla realm, I've been beaten, raped and molested ..but by vanilla guys..

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 8

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 1:52:39 PM

hopelesslyInvo

Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline

maybe not the worst, but the one that hit me the hardest the quickest was just hinting at the word "blackmail".

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)

Post #: 9

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 1:54:39 PM

Luciferica

Posts: 231
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo

maybe not the worst, but the one that hit me the hardest the quickest was just hinting at the word "blackmail".

Blackmail over what?..

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)

Post #: 10

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 2:04:26 PM

hopelesslyInvo

Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline

just the typical in bdsm, embarrassment from making your private life public to the wrong people. it was enough to blow any trust i had right to hell and as far as she's concerned i fell off the planet a long time ago.

(in reply to Luciferica)

Post #: 11

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 2:05:48 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Luciferica

Most of my bad experiences are in the vanilla realm, I've been beaten, raped and molested ..but by vanilla guys..

Sweetie...i am so very sorry.

(in reply to Luciferica)

Post #: 12

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 2:12:20 PM

Luciferica

Posts: 231
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Luciferica

Most of my bad experiences are in the vanilla realm, I've been beaten, raped and molested ..but by vanilla guys..

Sweetie...i am so very sorry.

I tell myself that everything happens for a reason and it's taught me alot about being safe in situations as well as how not to treat others.

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 13

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 2:14:54 PM

Luciferica

Posts: 231
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo

just the typical in bdsm, embarrassment from making your private life public to the wrong people. it was enough to blow any trust i had right to hell and as far as she's concerned i fell off the planet a long time ago.

Wow, that sucks big time..

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)

Post #: 14

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 2:18:14 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Ok, this is from a few years ago, but in ways, I still see it as the 'worst' experience that I have had.

When I was getting back into the lifestyle a couple of years ago, I was invited to attend a party in Auburn AL. It was quite a drive for Me, but I did it as a particular favor for a friend, who wanted a more lifestyle oriented event prior to the vanilla trappings that were involved with a wedding. She was very happy in getting married to her Daddy, and wanted that celebration to include people who understood how much that meant to her, so I went.

Through the course of events, the girl told Me about her hopes of Me doing an impromptu demo on flogging for an after party. Well, very hard to say no to someone so excited about celebrating an upcoming wedding. This is especially true since it seemed to mean so much to her.

Fast forward, there I was, doing a semi-public/private demo for about 30. Unfortunately, this had all been put together rather late, and some of the attendees had been drinking. Some were vanilla that didn't exactly get the concept of what the demo was about, or how much courage it took for the bottom to participate.

Long story short, there were members of the crowd that were being rather obnoxious to the bottom who, at the last minute, agreed to do this with Me. They were abusive in their comments and it had gotten to the point where I could not tolerate the unruly crowd. I threw everyone out of the demo, mid-stream. It wasn't My shining moment in a public setting, but the boy had not agreed to public humiliation, and I could not allow it to continue.

What might be described as My *worst* moment, I tend to think of as My shining hour. A testament to Myself and the way I do things.

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)

Post #: 15

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 2:21:09 PM

hopelesslyInvo

Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Luciferica

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo
just the typical in bdsm, embarrassment from making your private life public to the wrong people. it was enough to blow any trust i had right to hell and as far as she's concerned i fell off the planet a long time ago.

Wow, that sucks big time..

that's not the worst, but everything else that i could think of is too long of a story to explain.

anyway, it didn't really suck big time, all it did was pound some fear into me but only ended up making me walk away, your situation though, that sucks big time~

(in reply to Luciferica)

Post #: 16

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 2:22:57 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

While early enough in negoations with a Dom to still have a safeword set with him... no, it wasn't the first time we played, and he was overall a basicly rational person, not a died in the wool abuser, imo, he just made a really BAD mistake in judgement...
I had to safeword. He had bought a new toy. because of the way the toy was designed, he was feeling a delicate tap and i was getting the hell beat out of me. I was too early in the relaitonship to take that, but I do not safe word well, and was continueing to take it, until I convinced myself that I was being cut up and was bleeding heavly (I was not, but it sure the hell felt like it - the mind can do strange things) I safeworded. By the time i did, i was unable to talk clearly, i was sobbing. I just blubbered that the toy was cutting me. He said, 'oh, for crying out loud, i'm barely touching you, let me have a look' ran a quick hand over my shiny white bottom, (to be clear - the toy was a 'stock whip', with a flapper on the end. the stock whip was lightly tapping my bottom. the flapper was wrapping around and hitting my kidney)
assured that my bottom was unmarked, he said, 'your fine. turn over, shut up and let me finish'. I did. When he was done and I turned on my back, he saw the dark black bruise, the size of a man's double fist, over my kidney, and he flipped.
While I still don't think he was a bad person or a bad dom - it was a mistake, and i'm betting he learned from it - neither do i think i was to blame. i safeworded to the best of my ability. whatever your saftey sign is - many here just like to use 'stop', ect - ignoring it is usually not good :)

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to Luciferica)

Post #: 17

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 2:40:25 PM

metalmiss

Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline

i was young & stupid.. Had very recently at that point had some bad life experiences and just lost it. i met a stranger i barely knew offline, didn't tell anyone where i was going and never bothered with a safe call.. Things turned out very much for the worse and i consider myself lucky to still be here. i blame my own stupidity really, but i don't excuse what he did to me, it's taken its toll on me in the time since, but i don't let it rule my life. It wasn't D/s.. he wasn't Dominant.. just a prick who liked to pretend dangerously.

_____________________________

"The longing to serve, to submit, to abandon oneself sexually, emotionally, and physically makes one a slave either to a Man, a Woman or to God. Submission to that passion is divine degradation." - Dorothy C. Hayden

Owned by RavenMuse

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)

Post #: 18

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 2:45:52 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinCityDomCpl

I've been blessed enough to never have had a truly horrible/terrifying/life threatening BDSM experience. Ironically enough, the worst things that have ever happened to me in a relationship were in the vanilla realm.

Same here. i have never had a 'bad' BD/SM experience. Even the things that terrified me to even think about doing and that i thought would be horrible, have all turned out to be incredibly rewarding. Every time, no matter how much it hurt me on the outside or how much humiliation i experienced, i always had a very good feeling from it on the inside.

There have only been two times that i had a really bad experience and they were both with 'vanilla' guys. One time, i was slipped a date rape drug on a first (and only date) and the other time was when a boyfriend got angry, and lost control and beat me up. i had him move out and never had anything more to do with him again.

Every D/s relationship i have been in has been with very intelligent, responsible, caring, and thoughtful sadists, who had no anger management issues and were only interested in bringing about the sensual delights that the controlled infliction of pain evokes in me.

joy
Owned servant of Master David

< Message edited by slavegirljoy -- 4/7/2008 2:48:50 PM >

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)

Post #: 19

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 3:03:38 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Luciferica

Most of my bad experiences are in the vanilla realm, I've been beaten, raped and molested ..but by vanilla guys..

Same here, and not all situations are preventable in one I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time..like believing the one attackers actually had developed a conscience for what he had done...as later on commited suicide. But the events of the past helps keeps me grounded and looking for the red flags that could indicate trouble and cautious when meeting Doms, though I have met some I am not compatible with none of my experiences I would classsify as bad .

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

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Post #: 20

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