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RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 3:39:34 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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It just goes to show that many people out here are not capable on making wise decisions and should really never be left alone. Many of you should have a "mentor" consulted before you open a jar of mayonnaise.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 4/7/2008 3:40:00 PM >

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Post #: 21

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 3:40:30 PM

madshysoul

Posts: 105
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline

He's not alone.

I've had several myself.

I have a scar most of the length of my back from an "Oops. I didn't know it was -that- sharp!" Idiot somehow thought that sneaking up behind me with the (unsterilized) kitchen shears while I was taking dinner out of the oven somehow constituted consensual knife play.

I had a breath play scene go wrong mostly due to mutual lack of education on hypoxia. The scene lasted too long, I was too deprived of oxygen to think properly and at some point flipped and thought that I was actually about to be killed. (Yes, breath play -does- make you stupid. Literally.) I spent probably 4 months waking myself up in a dead sweat in the middle of the night if I even -partially- covered my face with a pillow or anything else.

My absolute worst scene is a bit of a story. I knew the Top in question through friends, had seen him play enough to trust his judgement. We met a few times in coffee-shops to chat, and he passed my personal 'crazy tests' with flying colors. One of the kinks that he and I mutual share is rough body play/takedown scenes. We planned one, clearly discussed limits/preferences/safewords. We were both fully educated on the risks, and to this day looking back I cannot say that either one of us didn't do something we should have.

We started our scene and everything went well for awhile. But somewhere in the middle, I flipped internally from understanding that it was a scene to believing it was a real assault. (Note, it wasn't. I do NOT blame the gentleman in question, and never have.) I went from crying in pain to crying in real terror and just wanted to get away. This is where theoretically I should have safeworded, except that I -believed-...so the idea of a safeword never occured to me.

If he needs someone to talk to about things, he's welcome to drop me a line on the other side. I'm happy to teach my entirely non-patented 'crazy tests' that I find useful for vetting people.

(in reply to Maya2001)

Post #: 22

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 3:56:45 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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It was too personal, but I can say I've never been abused or raped in any way. Everything that I've endured was of my own making.

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(in reply to madshysoul)

Post #: 23

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 3:57:51 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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My worst experience? I once met a witch...She twirled and played with her hair and spoke like she was about 7 years old....I politely asked if it wouldn't be to much of an imposition if she could conjure up a woman that might be a little more interesting and desirable? For you see, she was really bummin' me out....Witches can be such drags.

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Post #: 24

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 4:00:42 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It was too personal, but I can say I've never been abused or raped in any way. Everything that I've endured was of my own making.

Not out here....LA in this universe no one is to blame for their own lack of foresight.

What would lead me to believe that the knife was sharp?

Or that the gasoline might catch fire?

Or that the bear would attack?

_____________________________

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Post #: 25

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 4:01:22 PM

DefiantFlower

Posts: 204
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

About a year ago, I met with a local Dom. We began a D/s relationship, however awkward it was. It just never felt like it fit right. Something was always off. I wasn't feeling very dominated and thus, satisfied...ever. A retarded newb, I thought being a silly brat would bring it out of him (not the unbearable kind, mind you). Ended up getting huge bruises on my thighs from him punching me, a really bad headache from him bashing my head into the seatlbelt holder of the car...And when I wisened up and decided to leave, he threatened to call the police and hurt me if I didn't give him his stuff back, including gifts from him. I suppose it was some pathetic white knuckled grasp at keeping some amount of control over me.

As always, emotional abuse hurts so much more, and between two of those type "Doms," I know how that's like. But I consider myself lucky. Some people go through much worse. My heart is with you guys!

< Message edited by DefiantFlower -- 4/7/2008 4:10:30 PM >

(in reply to Maya2001)

Post #: 26

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 4:05:15 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

Gang bang date raped (Rohypnol--flunitrazepam?), at 14 years old.
It took me over 20 years and more to recover the memories. It forms the basis of both my fantasies but also my loss of personal welf-worth when I get triggered during scenes.
It pushed the threshold so low as to what I expect as acceptable treatment of me that I have been beaten in vanilla relationships without consent, become addicted to hypnotics of all types to ease the pain of the past, self-harmed and caught in the grips of anorexia because of self-loathing, sunk even lower in self-worth to the point often of suicidal depresion. It has also taught me that it is possible to escape from, overcome and master even the most degrading and powerless moments in one's life and to help others even at times when it is difficult to help oneself.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 4/7/2008 4:09:40 PM >

_____________________________

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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

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Post #: 27

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 4:12:17 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It was too personal, but I can say I've never been abused or raped in any way. Everything that I've endured was of my own making.

Sometimes it simply pays to get real. I am NOT a function of your projection out here LA.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 28

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 4:13:58 PM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Gang bang date raped (Rohypnol--flunitrazepam?), at 14 years old.
It took me over 20 years and more to recover the memories. It forms the basis of both my fantasies but also my loss of personal welf-worth when I get triggered during scenes.
It pushed the threshold so low as to what I expect as acceptable treatment of me that I have been beaten in vanilla relationships without consent, become addicted to hypnotics of all types to ease the pain of the past, self-harmed and caught in the grips of anorexia because of self-loathing, sunk even lower in self-worth to the point often of suicidal depresion. It has also taught me that it is possible to escape from, overcome and master even the most degrading and powerless moments in one's life and to help others even at times when it is difficult to help oneself.

i'm sorry that happened...but was it a BDSM experience? i mean, were you scening or with BDSM types at the time?

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 29

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 4:20:43 PM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

What's my worst experience? Not being able to play.

I, too, have been blessed enough to never have had a horrific experience. The closest I can think of occured this past November. I went to a large open play party with my best friend (submissive B), her dominant, and his other submissive (submissive A). By all accounts, we actually had a very good time. Unfortunately, submissive A is extremely, erm, dominating. She doesn't react well when any of the focus is off of her, even for a brief time. So I'm playing with the dominant, chained to a cross and being flogged. Apparently we attracted quite a bit of attention at first, and it was obvious that the dominant and I were greatly enjoying ourselves. About fifteen minutes into the scene, submissive A disappears, even though we had orders to stay together, and submissive B has to run after her out of the dungeon and into the socializing area. Submissive A swears she's having a low blood-sugar attack, despite the fact that we'd eaten only an hour earlier, and demands that Submissive B go find her food. Submissive B makes a huge deal out of it, causing flurry and to-do among about fifteen people. (I'm hypoglycemic and I know what low blood sugar does to a person. She wasn't having an attack.) The dominant is so worried that he stops the scene and he leaves me without any type of aftercare and totally alone in a party that has around 200 people present. Fortunately, a woman I know and adore was nearby, and she took care of me afterward.

Yeah, it's full of drama, but I learned some valuable things about my "friends", and how to behave when "in the care of" another dominant. He stressed high protocol all night, me being on his left-hand side, blah blah blah, then took off for nearly an hour after our scene without telling me where he was going, during which time I didn't see any of the people I came with nor did I know where they were. Perhaps he was the one who needed the lesson in protocol. My best friend is still my best friend, as she didn't do anything wrong and was worried about submissive A, but my friend and her dominant parted very shortly after that party, for a plethora of reasons.

_____________________________

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(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)

Post #: 30

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 4:21:27 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Gang bang date raped (Rohypnol--flunitrazepam?), at 14 years old.
It took me over 20 years and more to recover the memories. It forms the basis of both my fantasies but also my loss of personal welf-worth when I get triggered during scenes.
It pushed the threshold so low as to what I expect as acceptable treatment of me that I have been beaten in vanilla relationships without consent, become addicted to hypnotics of all types to ease the pain of the past, self-harmed and caught in the grips of anorexia because of self-loathing, sunk even lower in self-worth to the point often of suicidal depresion. It has also taught me that it is possible to escape from, overcome and master even the most degrading and powerless moments in one's life and to help others even at times when it is difficult to help oneself.

i'm sorry that happened...but was it a BDSM experience? i mean, were you scening or with BDSM types at the time?

Aside from the fourteen year old crud...It sounds fairly fucking hot.

_____________________________

(in reply to lronitulstahp)

Post #: 31

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 4:21:47 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

And I have to be honest that birthing a 19ibs 2oz baby for which I was in 48 hours fnal stage labour wasn't a tea party. Three kids and each birth different; on the night of the big one the hospital had too many to cop with so they just ran with th wheelchair and stuck me in a store room. If anyone flames me go ahead; just because I am a woman doen't mean giving birth comes with a manual. It's the worse pain, it was scary and I was alone. By the time the surgeon arrioved it looked like a scene from Alien.
OK, so an hour later the baby looked liked Elvis and we fell in love the first time our eyes met and we were bonded for life; but for heaven's sake....any other pain comes no where close to child birth.
ed to add: no this was not a bdsm scene

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 4/7/2008 4:24:47 PM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Maya2001)

Post #: 32

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 4:24:01 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Gang bang date raped (Rohypnol--flunitrazepam?), at 14 years old.
It took me over 20 years and more to recover the memories. It forms the basis of both my fantasies but also my loss of personal welf-worth when I get triggered during scenes.
It pushed the threshold so low as to what I expect as acceptable treatment of me that I have been beaten in vanilla relationships without consent, become addicted to hypnotics of all types to ease the pain of the past, self-harmed and caught in the grips of anorexia because of self-loathing, sunk even lower in self-worth to the point often of suicidal depresion. It has also taught me that it is possible to escape from, overcome and master even the most degrading and powerless moments in one's life and to help others even at times when it is difficult to help oneself.

i'm sorry that happened...but was it a BDSM experience? i mean, were you scening or with BDSM types at the time?

How the hell would I know? The amnesia precedes as well as encompasses the event. Fragments of memories are what return but in no particular sequential order. I think it was a bdsm scene for some of them for sure.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 4/7/2008 4:26:32 PM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to lronitulstahp)

Post #: 33

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 4:25:23 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Worse for him I think than for me, but he tried some mild humiliation play which turned out to hit an emotional trigger. I went from panic to sobbing uncontrollably and it took six months to get back to the level of physical play we had been doing.

The worst for me was being in high heels, in a straddado, blindfolded. He pulled my panties off and told me to pick up a foot, I fell over and wrenched my arm. Took two months before I could carry a grocery bag in that arm. I told him either he gets me naked first or no more high heels. I'm a klutz normally, ten times worse blindfolded.

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(in reply to Maya2001)

Post #: 34

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 4:32:26 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

I had an experience where the Dom hurt my weak wrists by suspnding ne in my heels up on tiptoes. I asked him to adjust once, asked him again. He stopped scene and pouted. We got into a screaming match and he called me a liar. Long story short the guy was volatile and bipolar. My right wrist was swollen for a week .

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(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 35

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 4:35:57 PM

MrThorns

Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

Hmmm..

My worst experience was at our local public dungeon in Phoenix when we had a very, prominent VIP visiting "The Space". I won't mention the man's name out of courtesy, but he is a highly recognized and respected member of the community. Bottom line is, I was set up, playing with my girls in a cornerr of the dungeon. It was a busy night because of the VIP being there. Most of the furniture was being used and there was not much floor space available. So, being responsible and courteous to my neighbors, I chose some shorter floggers to play with and developed a rhythm that coexisted with the person's rehythm who was playing next to me. Well, here comes this VIP, toting dual, 10' bullwhips. He sets up along the wall behind me and starts to throw. I think I was hit by this guy over a dozen times.. and he is supposed to be one of the most prominent bullwhip experts around. If I recall my bullwhip theory, you are supposed to have at least twice the length of the whip's space between you and any other people. (As a courtesy.) Not this fucking guy... oh no! No, he starts swinging.. interrupting my scene as well as the scenes of those people around me. To top it off, the DM that night comes over to me and says that my play is interferring with the scenes around me and that I need to move.

I think that was one of the last times I ever played there.

God I hate that fucking guy.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to Maya2001)

Post #: 36

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 4:36:47 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

And I have to be honest that birthing a 19ibs 2oz baby for which I was in 48 hours fnal stage labour wasn't a tea party. Three kids and each birth different; on the night of the big one the hospital had too many to cop with so they just ran with th wheelchair and stuck me in a store room. If anyone flames me go ahead; just because I am a woman doen't mean giving birth comes with a manual. It's the worse pain, it was scary and I was alone. By the time the surgeon arrioved it looked like a scene from Alien.
OK, so an hour later the baby looked liked Elvis and we fell in love the first time our eyes met and we were bonded for life; but for heaven's sake....any other pain comes no where close to child birth.
ed to add: no this was not a bdsm scene

How is this a BDSM scene??? That is what the thread is about. Unless you just want to display all your drama vomited all over the forum. thanks for sharing. It makes me feel sane.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 37

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 4:37:26 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

I was fucking a tall guy's ass with him lying on concrete. We'd done the same position before, but in retrospect, always on the bed/carpet/etc. Felt no pain until after I came, and I came really hard!, then my wrist started to bother me. As the endorphins faded, my wrist started to BURN. Nothing we could do helped with the pain, ice, Advil, painkillers. Had to have my wrist 'scoped: tore not one but TWO ligaments from basically two people's weight on one arm and the endorphins preventing me from feeling a warning.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 38

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 4:38:20 PM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Gang bang date raped (Rohypnol--flunitrazepam?), at 14 years old.
It took me over 20 years and more to recover the memories. It forms the basis of both my fantasies but also my loss of personal welf-worth when I get triggered during scenes.
It pushed the threshold so low as to what I expect as acceptable treatment of me that I have been beaten in vanilla relationships without consent, become addicted to hypnotics of all types to ease the pain of the past, self-harmed and caught in the grips of anorexia because of self-loathing, sunk even lower in self-worth to the point often of suicidal depresion. It has also taught me that it is possible to escape from, overcome and master even the most degrading and powerless moments in one's life and to help others even at times when it is difficult to help oneself.

i'm sorry that happened...but was it a BDSM experience? i mean, were you scening or with BDSM types at the time?

How the hell would I know? The amnesia precedes as well as encompasses the event. Fragments of memories are what return but in no particular sequential order. I think it was a bdsm scene for some of them for sure.

my question is...were you already a participant in BDSM prior to the rape? You mentioned it was a date rape...so was it an innocent teenage date gone awry, or a D/s thing that went crazy? Were YOU aware that it was BDSM, at the time??? i hope that's clearer...i don't mean to bring it up over and over...but i think to say it's BDSM if you weren't aware would be even more unfair to you, as a victim....

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 39

RE: What's the worse BDSM experience you've ever had? - 4/7/2008 5:01:08 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

It just goes to show that many people out here are not capable on making wise decisions and should really never be left alone. Many of you should have a "mentor" consulted before you open a jar of mayonnaise.

Those squirt bottles are better for obvious reasons.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 40

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