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Emperor1956 -> RE: Can you still have anal sex if you have hemorrhoids? (4/10/2008 1:57:11 PM)
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FR: OK. Besides the really funny replies on the first page (Pyrrsi you ROCK), and the really gross thoughts (AILEEN...you kiss your MOTHER with that mouth? Aiiiieeeee) there seems to be a lot of misinformation about hemorrhoids.
First, to the OP: Hemorrhoids are basically swollen blood vessels in the anal/perianal area. Think of little blood-filled balloons lurking in your bottom. And like a balloon, the external skin is VERY thin, and subject to bursting when abraded. Sex=intrusion=thrusting (at least if its done right!)=abrasion=BLOOD and irritation. So no, Virginia, anal sex with a bottom with hemorroids is probably a bad idea.
Now, for the rest of you assholes: There are two type of hemmorrhoids. No surprise...there are INTERNAL and ... dah duh...EXTERNAL (modified from the Mayo clinic patient's website, with the Dr. Emp's comments in a sort of occult blood red ):
Internal hemorrhoids. You can't see or feel these hemorrhoids. You know they are there because straining or irritation from passing stool can injure a hemorrhoid's delicate surface and cause it to bleed. You may notice small amounts of bright red blood on your toilet tissue or in the toilet bowl water or on whatever tool you used to violate said hemmorhoid bearer. Because internal anal membranes lack pain-sensitive nerves much to the delight of anal geeks everywhere, internal hemorrhoids usually don't cause discomfort. Now here comes the gross "pop out" part -- prolapsed internal hemorrhoids: Occasionally, straining can push an internal hemorrhoid through the anal opening. If a hemorrhoid remains displaced (prolapsed), it can cause pain and irritation. Really severe prolapses may require surgery. If you aren't squicked out yet, look up GBS (gay bowel syndrome). I ain't gonna do it for you you sick fuck!
Now we get to the nasty ones: External hemorrhoids. These hemorrhoids tend to be painful. They are the ones that itch, bleed on their own and sometimes require treatment. Blood may pool in an external hemorrhoid and form a clot (thrombus), causing severe pain, (because as any lover of spanking knows, the EXTERNAL anal area is just lousy with nerves that transmit pain!) swelling and inflammation. When irritated, external hemorrhoids can itch or bleed.
So no, they aren't really like grapes, and no, they don't just burst out all over...but they are an irritating consequence of age, genetics (BLAME YOUR MOM AGAIN!) and childbirth. OH I almost forgot. TASTEFUL, OLD SCHOOL MEDICAL ILLUSTRATION of all the above!
Next week: "Learning to love your gastroenterologist! Scopes for U"
You know, if this keeps up I'm gonna start demanding that ALL of you send me your insurance information so I can bill this.
E.
(I AM NOT A DOCTOR. I JUST PLAY ONE IN BIG MEDICAL GROUP MEETINGS. THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE. FOR THAT, GO TO ALT.COM)
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