how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (Full Version)

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malloves69 -> how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 6:38:51 AM)

greetings ..saw this question asking how can a man be called a master at the age of 21 which i totally agree ..thought i would turn the tables so to speak and ask how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? ecspecially if shes a pro-dom /mistress that expects to be paid to play ? suxs when the bottom has more experience then the top doesnt it ? [:)] she should be paying you for you to be her guinea pig so to speak ..right or wrong ? sure she might be great eye candy [:)] but for serious players i love the older woman [:)] she still looks great ..has way more experience in life and i think the trust factor is there more so with a older lady then a younger one [:)] maybe just my opinion of course ..but older woman i think are better as mistresses then younger ones [:)] any thoughts ? thanks mal [:)]



Lashra -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 6:43:58 AM)

People can label themselves however they wish too. Personally I'm not sure how much experience a 21 year old could have but if they started out young enough it could be a good amount.  I started out at the age of 19 with a slave no less and thought I knew it all. Boy if I knew then what I know now what a difference it makes. But we have to have those bumps in the road to learn those life lessons.

So in short I don't care what people call themselves as long as it makes them happy.

~Lashra



BoiJen -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 6:48:52 AM)

Are you talking about being a top or a D-type? You specifically mention play. And as a 22 year old who has more than once impressed people with public scenes and demos over the last few years...I don't think your arguement has any bearing in reality at all.

Let me add on, that the same question could be turned around to be about s-types. And I'm not the only "younger" s-type here who has not only had the experience but has happily lead a full-time D/s relationship... for me it's been almost 2 years now.



hopelesslyInvo -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 6:52:20 AM)

i think it's nice to see different text inbetween all of your [:)][:)][:)][:)][:)][:)][:)]'s for once, but no i don't agree.  i'm a respecter of age, but well... think of it like being a pilot.  if you fly a plane, you're a pilot, period.  regardless of how long you've been doing it, regardless of how good you are at it, regardless of how often you do it, regardless of what other people think of you, you're a pilot.  i think many such as myself, find a similar attraction as you do in people with more experience that will only come with age, in fact to me, being with a woman who is older than myself just feels all sorts of "right" simply because for no apparent reason i feel loads more comfortable around them at least initially. 

but even if there is a set of ranks in bdsm, there is no graduation service, no established set of criteria to follow as to who can who can be what role and under what circumstances.  they might be a newbie to being in their role, but the role is the same.



thetammyjo -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 6:55:39 AM)

In general age isn't as important to me as experience.

But also in general anyone who feels the need to label him/herself as master/mistress outside of the personal dynamics makes me arch an eyebrow.

Don't worry so much about what labels or title folks use but instead look at their experience and try to get to know the person before you decide to scene with them. If it annoys that they use a title, are a certain age, a certain ethnicity or whatever, move on from them without comment.



ShaktiSama -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 7:48:16 AM)

*giggles madly*  I was wondering when someone was going to bring this one to our door.

I was a mistress at 18, and until I was in my late 20's I rarely dominated anyone who wasn't older than me.  My submissives had no trouble imagining me (and themselves) to be any age they wanted or needed.  I could assume any role very easily, from the gypsy kidnapper to the Bad Girl in high school to the sternly disapproving Mother Superior.

Don't get me wrong, age is definitely a locus of power--but it's not the sole locus of power.  There are many, many other wellsprings from which that power flows.

In short:  It's as easy for a dominant woman under 21 to call herself "mistress" as it is for a submissive woman of 50 to call herself "baby girl".  It's a role, not a measure of biological age, physical size, chromosomal inheritance...or anything else that can be reduced to mathematics.  [;)]



darchChylde -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 7:48:31 AM)

i'm a blatant age-ist and always have been, i have little use for people my age and even less for those younger than me.  It started when i was a married father at 14 with both full-time work and school.  i found that i couldn't identify with the other kids in school, and instead was able to carry my own in conversations with those thrice my age, this continued as i grew older.  Now, in my early 30s; this prejudice has tamed a bit; if not completely.

i may not ever see myself being able to submit to a 21 year old (not that i would have ever expected to be able to submit to a woman a mere 4 years older than myself ;) ); but, just as i was able to have real life experiences at 21 that most at that age couldn't comprehend (and shouldn't have to). a 21 year old dominant woman may have more than her expected share of bdsm or Ds experience.

No matter what her experience, though; she can call herself whatever she desires; if you don't find yourself able to submit to he, then don't.  It's likely that someone else will.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 7:55:43 AM)

I dont know, by 21 I had already had 3 years of experience learning with a mentor who was very involved in the Boston D/s scene. I have never then nor do I now call myself a Mistress, but I had enough experience and know-how back then to control someone should I have chosen to. I know older Ladies now who call themselves Mistress who have less expereince at their age than I did at that one. Experience and knowledge trump age, in my book. Someone brand new at age 40 is not more legitimate than someone at age 25 with 6 years under their belt.

My 2 cents
DV



atursvcMaam -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 8:13:06 AM)

imho, it is all a matter of perception, yours, not so much Hers.
  age is only a number, and people can call themselves whatever they want.  if both can find what they need in the other, then things will work.  if one finds a particular feature (age, weight, height, looks, hair color or whatever) to be an obstacle, then one should look for something to more closely meets one's needs and desires within one's limits.
    i don't know a lot about pro-Dommes, but in looking at a tribute wish list that was suggested (yep, She was great eye-candy) i backed off quickly when it looked like my daughter's christmas list, and the one thing that seemed adult and appropriate was for Her mom.  i felt quite old, and realized that She was way too young for me.  i am certain that She would have tried to persuade me otherwise, but i could not get my own perception past that.
      As for being a "guinea pig" i have always felt honored when i have been able to do something that my Domme had not experienced before. i don't know if i have the guts to be the training sub for a singletail, and i need to have a great level of trust to be experimented on.  It can also be quite amusing to learn and to teach under the right circumstances.
     



LadyHibiscus -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 9:07:08 AM)

ummm.........mall, aren't you paying your mistress?  so what does that have to do with it?  plenty of men want fabulous young things topping them, and leave old women like me by the wayside.

I've been doing D/s since I was a teenager.  Was I good at it then?  Yes.  Do I have many many more skills and life experiences now?  Certainly. 



MissHarlet -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 9:10:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: malloves69

greetings ..saw this question asking how can a man be called a master at the age of 21 which i totally agree ..thought i would turn the tables so to speak and ask how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? ecspecially if shes a pro-dom /mistress that expects to be paid to play ? suxs when the bottom has more experience then the top doesnt it ? [:)] she should be paying you for you to be her guinea pig so to speak ..right or wrong ? sure she might be great eye candy [:)] but for serious players i love the older woman [:)] she still looks great ..has way more experience in life and i think the trust factor is there more so with a older lady then a younger one [:)] maybe just my opinion of course ..but older woman i think are better as mistresses then younger ones [:)] any thoughts ? thanks mal [:)]


Some people want the eye candy more than anything ... and along the way she gains experience .. so its a win /win ... ????



Pyrrsefanie -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 9:56:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: malloves69

greetings ..saw this question asking how can a man be called a master at the age of 21 which i totally agree ..thought i would turn the tables so to speak and ask how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? ecspecially if shes a pro-dom /mistress that expects to be paid to play ? suxs when the bottom has more experience then the top doesnt it ? [:)] she should be paying you for you to be her guinea pig so to speak ..right or wrong ? sure she might be great eye candy [:)] but for serious players i love the older woman [:)] she still looks great ..has way more experience in life and i think the trust factor is there more so with a older lady then a younger one [:)] maybe just my opinion of course ..but older woman i think are better as mistresses then younger ones [:)] any thoughts ? thanks mal [:)]


I'm reposting my answer from that thread here:

" I'm twenty years old and currently in the possession of a submissive four years my senior.

Thanks to my life experiences and the roads I've taken, I've seen and experienced a lot more than the average member of my age bracket.  I've been forced to mature rapidly in order to survive.  Some say that it's a terrible shame that I never got to be a "kid," but looking around at those who are allowed to mature at a normal rate and are my age... I don't want to associate with those people.  Never have.

I think that emotional maturity matters much more than physical maturity in the kinky span of things.

Some would disagree with me and still tell me that because of my physical age I cannot possibly be a "twue dominant."  I don't need the approval of anyone, least of all closed-minded individuals who are so quick to dismiss someone based on how many trips they've made around the sun.  In fact, one has to wonder whether or not an "age-ist" is actually projecting their own insecurities onto a younger generation because they feel that their own abilities are not quite up to snuff, and so feel threatened by one so young with the same amount of or more capability in the D/s sense.

I've never held respect for anyone who feels inclined to try to pick on someone half their age, or make them second-guess themselves.  Just as I'm sure people would think I was a miserable person for picking on a ten-year-old, the forty-year-olds who pick on the twenty-year-olds ought to be ashamed of themselves.  The older generation cannot demand respect from the younger if they are unwilling to accept or give it themselves."

And I echo that last line -- it really is a matter of the older generation not respecting the younger generation, from whom they demand so much reverence.  By telling us what we can and can't do properly, you're only continuing to make yourself look ignorant and closed-minded... for that I have to say, I pity you.




MissSCD -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 9:58:03 AM)

The same reason a 19 year old can call themselves a Mistress.  Anyone can call themselves a Mistress, but only their slave knows for sure.
 
Regards, MissSCD



faerytattoodgirl -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 10:18:18 AM)

atleast its 21 which is legal and not 16.....i want eye candy too!



malloves69 -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 10:38:06 AM)

just read some of the responses and for the most part they were good ..yes i pay my current mistress ..thats how she makes her money for the most part and i dont have a problem doing so ..thank gawd im one of her subs that she sees still [:)] very closed list by the way now ...yes she is a older lady ..a awesome woman [:)] i guess its just my personal preference about seeing older women ..by the way im 50 years young ...i just cant see submitting to someone as young as 21 because they dont have much experience in life or in the lifestyle as far as im concerned ..yes i guess both men and women can call themselves whatever they wish i believe that to be true ...but the more chemistry you have between each other the better the session will be [:)] some guys like younger women ..sure they are great to look at it ..but for me a older woman who has more experience in life and the lifestyle i can relate to better because i guess i see her as better qualified so to speak ..not to upset the younger women on here ..im sure there are good ones and may your business be bright with sub males and females wanting your services but for me i will be more comfortable being with lets say a lady over 30 then someone younger in age ..just thought i would ask the question by no means didnt ask to offend anyone ..have fun with your searches for the right person for you ..it is tough finding the right one indeed [:)] mal



Pyrrsefanie -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 10:41:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: malloves69
im sure there are good ones and may your business be bright with sub males and females wanting your services


Here's where I think there may be some miscommunication -- you're equating "mistresses" with paid domination?

I'm just talking about my own experience with my own boy.  We have a 24/7 relationship, or as near as we can manage it.  Paid domination is another thing altogether, and I have to say I've seen just as many questionable older pro-dommes as young ones!  [:D]



MladyHathor -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 10:57:13 AM)

She is probably really a slave or a sub but felt that there is so much controversy around that, She would be an old woman before she got a partner---so she said, hell I 'll be a Mistress, no one challenges that!



ShaktiSama -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 11:36:53 AM)

I assumed "Mistress" was just being used as a general term for "female dominant".  My first lover didn't call me "mistress"--I exercised so much power in that relationship that my personal name was more than sufficient to serve as a title.  She knew me so well that I could send her sailing off into subspace with a lift of my eyebrow.

That said, I know sweet FA about pro dommitude, but one of the pros I've respected most over the years was very young when she was working--19 years old, basically domming for donations to raise money for a personal dungeon and BDSM gear which she could never afford working a normal day job.  I respected her work ethic and her decisions--she had a lot more control and dignity in her work than she would have at a clerical job, or stripping.

*shrug*  There's age and then there's maturity, I guess.



ElanSubdued -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 12:36:40 PM)

malloves69,

--- ...how can a 21 year old woman call herself a
--- mistress? ecspecially if shes a pro-dom /mistress
--- that expects to be paid to play?

I don't agree.  Now I'll admit, I don't pay for play, but I think my feelings may be applied regardless.  To me, the most important attribute of any person I interact with in BDSM is that I feel a sense of emotional connection and trust, and we are able to communicate to one another.  This overrides all else.  If someone is incredibly experienced but we can't communicate, all their experience means nadda.  Similarly, if someone has little experience but is able to communicate, share, and learn with me and from me, and we enjoy each other, this is a potential foundation for a BDSM relationship.

--- suxs when the bottom has more experience
--- then the top doesnt it?

I'll have to disagree again.  I love teaching my partner things, just as I love learning things from her.  It's a two-way, mutual, emotional, human dance.  True enough, were I paying for a specific experience and the professional I hired was unable to deliver per our agreement, I would be disappointed.  Fortunately, this isn't the nature of my BDSM relationships and interactions so this has never been (and probably never will be) a problem.  It is a wonderful experience being able to share and learn together so I'd have to say there are many occasions where I truly enjoy having more experience about a given area than my partner does.  Even more fun is seeing and experiencing what my Domina does with the information I share with her. :-)

Perhaps I'm a bit of an odd submissive.  I find a Domina's trust and vulnerability very, very sexy.  There is nothing sexier than when my partner looks at me with a smile and asks "pet, would you please show me how to do that"?  Service comes in many forms and sharing information (about life, the world, and play) is one of the many ways I love to help my partner.

Elan.



darchChylde -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 12:41:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

*shrug*  There's age and then there's maturity, I guess.


It really can't be summed up any better or clearer than that.



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