What does a Mistress see in it all?

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What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/9/2008 10:06:45 PM

HardToTame

Posts: 205
Joined: 3/30/2008
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Ladies, gentlemen, masters & mistresses, I come on a quest for information to gain insight to the mind of a mistress.

I'm curious, whats the desire a Mistress see's in having control? I don't understand it.
Could be sexual or otherwise, like, basically I'm asking why does having power get you off? (metaphorically speaking).

It's just something I've never understood. I guess the answers will only help me be better at my position, but, yeah. Think of it as Market Research. I figure if I get an insight into my target audience (the Mistresses) then I could launch a campaign and draw their attention

(not literally of course)

Post #: 1

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/9/2008 11:22:40 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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I have a "lust" for it that is always there, but at times, it becomes so distracting I lose focus a bit. If I had to put a name on what it is I actually seek, at the core, the words that come to mind are "authentic vulnerability." When I see a man helpless (for me) or suffering (willingly, for me), it makes me tingle all over. It also makes me very wet. Sexual arousal is a big part of it, but not all-emcompassing; I was tying up and playfully torturing my boyfriends long before my first orgasm or my first sexual intercourse.

My main "kink" is bondage. I do enjoy humiliation and pain also, though. What I enjoy, though, is using these things to make a man feel helpless - and I thrive on his reactions to it. A look in the eyes, the way his body reacts to the bonds, the way his breath changes to a whimper. I find helplessness to be extremely sensual and exciting.

I'm also incredibly shallow. It does nothing for me to see a man endure this unless the man turns me on. What "turns me on" about a man can vary greatly though. I also can be turned on by a man I have never seen or met, if I like his voice. Or accent. Of course, I just imagine him to be whatever I want in my head.

I don't get off on "having power" or being in control. I don't enjoy the process of giving commands just for the sake of doing it. I also don't arbitrarily love commands - the surrender has to be there. For example, if I said to Eddie, "Kneel and crawl over to me," and he said, "YES MISTRESS!" and flopped to the ground and hurriedly scurried over, head down, and buried his face into my feet and slobbered all over them, I'd be unimpressed. If I said to Teddy, on the other hand, "Kneel and crawl to me," and he looked at me for a second, looked at the floor, pondered his fate, took a breath, then slowly lowered himself to the floor, one knee first, then two...then slowly placed his body forward so his palms were to the floor, and took a deep breath of consideration before beginning to slowly, carefully, almost poetically moving his body toward me, eyes up and fixed on me looking for a reaction, shoulders lowered every so slightly, perhaps biting his bottom lip in nervous anticipation....well, I'd be quite aroused and entertained.

It's all about what he shows in his surrender. I don't like groveling, I don't like "pathetic" (unless I put him there, deliberately, and he hung onto that last shred of pride with desperation) and I don't like weak.

Akasha

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(in reply to HardToTame)

Post #: 2

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/9/2008 11:54:12 PM

Wickad

Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
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(fast reply)

Top High!

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 3

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 12:17:19 AM

HardToTame

Posts: 205
Joined: 3/30/2008
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Akasha: With all due respect, as you say it, you sound like the kind of woman whom I could do wonders for. Because, from my perspective I kind of see a similarity in that, the weakness is just in my eyes, pathetic. It seems too, desperate and eager, and willing. You know they're cock is throbbing for the chance to be at your feet, but they're there to serve they're own erections, not, well, I was going to write yours, but, you know what I mean. A sub is there to serve your sexual desires even if it puts him out, not the other way around. I don't like putting myself out for anyone. At all. And if a girl was sitting with me, as a friend, not a Mistress and asked, I'd say "do it yourself", even as a dominatrix chances are I'd say "do it yourself" until, she wielded such, power and seduction over me that, I'd do it for her sake, even though it puts me out. But see, sometimes I get the impression, particularly from younger Mistresses that, it's almost like a trend. That if they pick up on this bossy bitch girl attitude thing, all the boys in the class or work place or myspace, facebook what ever, will want them. It's very, I don't know. Those ones, I think WANT the guy to come grovelling to them.

(in reply to Wickad)

Post #: 4

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 5:01:30 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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I perfer the Mistress to come crawling to me.

(in reply to HardToTame)

Post #: 5

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 5:03:55 AM

DianeB269

Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
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Put your crack pipe down...

Diane

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 6

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 5:32:58 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I perfer the Mistress to come crawling to me.

Thats what I say about the Masters and so many of them contact me asking if they can do just that.

To the OP I enjoy the power exchange, the thrill of having a submissive that will do anything I ask of him within our boundaries. I enjoy having him do things for me and for himself. I help him to grow and learn, he even teachs me something sometimes. I am into S&M and it pleases me to see how much pain he will take for me and how he enjoys serving in that capacity.

I don't think its really that much difference with a Mistress as it is with a Master. It just depends upon who you ask as everyone will have their own answer.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 7

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 10:29:40 AM

Away4Awhile

Posts: 23
Joined: 2/25/2007
Status: offline

I love the authority control and power over another. I am turned on by the submissive who has a genuine need to be under the control authority and power of another but not just any other...under Me.

Where others may see weakness and passivity (sp?) and even occassionally desperation to serve I see hope and need quite often. Various presentations attract Me for various reasons.

If a submissive is not also service oriented he or she can only give Me a small piece of what makes Me feel fulfilled. I get turned on easily by the quality of service whether that is domestic personal or sexual.

The submissive that craves My domination and can come close to unquestioning obedience will get more of My attention than the ones that need to be convinced their submission is valuable will ever get.

I am a sadist as well and am turned on the most by the toys that have a love hate relationship with all I put them through. The look in their eyes as I see them fighting themselves not to protest but to endure feeds My passion for them. If I can't leave marks and hear moans and whimpers I seldom carry the scene on very long. Simple reason is boredom. In sadist mode I need to take the submissive to the edge of their endurance...makes Me hot wet and empowered into a solo raging animal...looking for alone time as I pace off My edge and plot the sexual finish!

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 8

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 10:57:42 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

Diane,

quote:

Dnomyar:
I prefer the Mistress to come crawling to me.

DianeB269:
Put your crack pipe down...

*laughs*

Replying respectfully and playfully, I've had a Domina crawl to me because... well... *she* wanted to.

Elan.

(in reply to DianeB269)

Post #: 9

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 12:20:39 PM

DianeB

Posts: 166
Joined: 1/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

Diane,

quote:

Dnomyar:
I prefer the Mistress to come crawling to me.

DianeB269:
Put your crack pipe down...

*laughs*

Replying respectfully and playfully, I've had a Domina crawl to me because... well... *she* wanted to.

Elan.

This Dominant woman crawls for no one....

Diane

(in reply to ElanSubdued)

Post #: 10

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 1:24:02 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

What's the point of the OP? Are you directing the same question to males, because if someone is dominant, it's because they ARE, gender has nothing to do with it.

My dominance is not sexually based. It's all about having power--whether I actually use it or not. It pleases me just to know that I CAN do something.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to DianeB)

Post #: 11

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 1:25:40 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Been thinking of a way to answer the OP and the only honest answer I can give is that in my DS dynamic I can be the full, uncensored me. That can make up for all the crap I have to deal with in the mundane world.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to HardToTame)

Post #: 12

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 1:35:16 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HardToTame

I'm curious, whats the desire a Mistress see's in having control? I don't understand it.
Could be sexual or otherwise, like, basically I'm asking why does having power get you off? (metaphorically speaking).

Vulnerability. To me, a man who is brought to his knees by a woman is showing a vulnerable side of himself that society's view of masculinity does not allow for... and that requires a great deal of trust and love for me, which makes me feel absolutely wonderful knowing I have both of those things from him.

And further proving that trust and love is the fact that he's willing to do anything, and I do meant ANYTHING, to get me off. To please me. To give himself to me for my own devious purposes until the both of us are so exhausted we can't do anything except lay there and stare into each other's eyes.

Now from the shallow point of view...

I like butts, I cannot lie.

_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to HardToTame)

Post #: 13

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 1:38:57 PM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued
*laughs*
Replying respectfully and playfully, I've had a Domina crawl to me because... well... *she* wanted to.
Elan.

Yes, but was she looking for an earring or a contact at the time?

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to ElanSubdued)

Post #: 14

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 2:50:47 PM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

( A) No one can direct or react to My life better than I can
(B) Most men suck at sex without direction
(C) Tormenting and Terrorizing a hot cock, is hot.

IMHEO

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to HardToTame)

Post #: 15

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 3:33:18 PM

MsBearlee

Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline

Dang...is it hot in here or is it just this thread? Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I cannot improve on what either AAkasha, Lashra or Away4Awhile had to say, nor add to what the rest included, either. Perhaps I'll just say that real, grounded Dominant Women are great fun!

I would like to say to HardToTame: Kudos! I seldom hear a guy talk like he 'gets' it. You are one of the few and far between...and seem a delight. I wish you well.

MsB

_____________________________

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This one, as well!

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 16

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 3:36:32 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

Diane,

quote:

Dnomyar:
I prefer the Mistress to come crawling to me.

DianeB269:
Put your crack pipe down...

*laughs*

Replying respectfully and playfully, I've had a Domina crawl to me because... well... *she* wanted to.

Elan.

This Dominant woman crawls for no one....

Diane

I can promise you that, when it comes to person's less than three feet tall, this is absolutely not true.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DianeB)

Post #: 17

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 7:26:14 PM

HardToTame

Posts: 205
Joined: 3/30/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I would like to say to HardToTame: Kudos! I seldom hear a guy talk like he 'gets' it. You are one of the few and far between...and seem a delight. I wish you well.

MsB

Thank you. I'm not too sure if I get it yet, but I'm trying to understand. I figure in trying to understand it'll just make it better for her, and well, isn't that what submissives are all about?

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 18

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 7:49:36 PM

MzMinx

Posts: 277
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline

hmmm I would agree with what most have stated like AAkasha ... I love vunerability, I love it when its freely given, when he shows the little tell tale signs of a struggle within himself but still gives me what I have asked for

I also love it when his happiness at being in a place that suits him, just overflows into everything he does, when his pleasure at being able to serve in what ever way I desire just makes him glow.

and I love being able to play with him and have my own way *warm smile* ... I really like just being able to be me as Tammyjo shared

(in reply to HardToTame)

Post #: 19

RE: What does a Mistress see in it all? - 4/10/2008 7:52:05 PM

SephandElena

Posts: 52
Joined: 4/7/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued
*laughs*
Replying respectfully and playfully, I've had a Domina crawl to me because... well... *she* wanted to.
Elan.

Yes, but was she looking for an earring or a contact at the time?

Awesomesauce! <3
(Rest of this comment censored by Seph)
Respectfully,
Elena

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

Post #: 20

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