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RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 4:47:54 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		asking about your work can be answered simply by stating what general field you're in.  To me, if I ask someone about their work it can indicate some level of responsibility (for instance: "Oh, I work in the finance industry" to me would generally indicate someone with a probably highstress job/indicating a high level of respnsibility).  Same thing with children.  GENERALLY speaking, someone who has children is going to have a strong sense of respnsibility.
I want to know that the person I'm playing with is responsible.

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
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(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 4:48:45 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I just perved your profile.  If you link it to this post, it is misleading to me.
That is probably why you are getting asked general questions because it reads more like a perm position you want than casual one off play dates as indicated here.  Your communication is poor which is why you are probably having issues with questions.  My recommendation is that you work on the communication skills and profile and make yourself clearer.  If you don;t like questions, state it in the profile too.
 
the.dark.

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 4:50:09 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I would ask people where they worked and if they had kids just out of interest not for what it infers, if they recoil and say "submissives shouldnt want to know" that would be so far away from the expected response that I would instatly not trust them. Look how weird I am giving random infomation to strangers online, I dont have kids and I work in a nursing home, omg im a mental person

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 4:51:08 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		The fact that you just want casual play without a friendship doesn't mean everyone else does. Maybe put into your profile that you won't answer any questions, you just want subs to meet you at a hotel.

Me? A lot more than 20 questions. After all, it was my life at stake.

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 4:52:14 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		OP, i understand how annoying it is to get 20 questions sometimes, especially if they are questions covered in my profile.  since i'm not looking for a relationship at the moment, lots of questions just start pissing me off.  if i were looking though, i'd have to ask them and be more patient with them being asked of me...you have to start somewhere when getting to know another person.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 4:52:44 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

I would ask people where they worked and if they had kids just out of interest not for what it infers, if they recoil and say "submissives shouldnt want to know" that would be so far away from the expected response that I would instatly not trust them. Look how weird I am giving random infomation to strangers online, I dont have kids and I work in a nursing home, omg im a mental person


yeah, but you're cute ;)

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 4:54:06 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
yeah, but you're cute ;)


Yes, yes I am


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Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 4:54:52 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

OP, i understand how annoying it is to get 20 questions sometimes, especially if they are questions covered in my profile.  since i'm not looking for a relationship at the moment, lots of questions just start pissing me off.  if i were looking though, i'd have to ask them and be more patient with them being asked of me...you have to start somewhere when getting to know another person.


I get what you are saying christine, but the OP doesn't want to get to know anyone, just the play apparently - so maybe patience isn't an option for her.
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 4:58:50 AM   
katie978


Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline 		   I suggest you make it clear in the beginning that you're not interested in much interaction outside the scene-you're there to play, you don't want to know their life stories (or them to know yours).

   However, like most of the other repliers, I don't see asking questions about you or even your job as out of line. You certainly don't have to tell them, "Oh, I work at Smith's Diner at 12 Main Street!", but at least letting them know what field you work in might give them a good general idea about you.
 
     As per myself, I'm not sure I could enter into a physical relationship with somone I didn't know anything about their life. I couldn't play with someone I didn't like at least well enough to have coffee with afterwards. However, I am a little suprised you're having this problem with men....because...well-they're men. ^_^ My own fault for stereotyping the gender, I guess. Probably a lot of  men don't feel comfortable hopping into bed with a complete stranger either.

< Message edited by katie978 -- 4/11/2008 5:00:06 AM >

(in reply to MissSepphora1)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 5:04:14 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		thanks for the heads up, i didn't read the original post in the way it was meant.  

OP, i think that finding someone with your similar interest is going to take patience.  maybe a note in your profile or a journal entry that states you want something physically casual with no strings attached will help you, i'm sure there are a lot of people out there looking for the same thing you are.

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3


He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 5:05:55 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Yup I agree, no strings physcial relationship, ive been asked for that loads. 

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Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 5:12:49 AM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		If you wanted to just get laid, I'm sure you wouldn't have any problem.  If you want someone to worship you as the goddess you are (from your profile) I can understand men wanting to get to know who you are.  How can you worship someone you don't even know?  Be blunt.  Fill out the BDSM interests.  Let 'em know what you want.  Perhaps they don't think they're going ot get anything out of the deal.  You only write about your needs being taken care of.  Where's the fun in that for the submissive?  If it's a one-off thing, I wouldn't get all that thrilled about meeting someone and worshiping him, without getting off myself ... even though I don't do that kind of thing b/c honestly, it's not safe to put myself in the position of someone having authority over me that I don't know. 

(in reply to MissSepphora1)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 5:22:30 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Op Im with you on this one. I have a friend that I met thru CM. She will inform me when she wants to scene. We will meet at the local club. We will discuss what she is expecting and then we do it there. After we finish she goes her way and I go mine. We don't expect anything from one another. With her it is a need that she needs filled. With me it is probably an ego booster because she is an extreamly sexy person.  

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 5:26:03 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		well, IF i was to scene with you, i would like to know more about you and part of your personal life in order to TRUST you with mine. so yes, i would be asking you 20 questions and/or more just to feel that you're safe, sane, responsible, trustworthy, compatible, etc etc before you lay a paddle on my arse. i don't play with others if i don't know them well enough to play - and Daddy would agree with me 100%.

my of the day


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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 5:26:39 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		When you first spoke on CM did either of you ask the other any questions apart from kink related? 

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 5:48:08 AM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		For me, I would never hand my trust over to someone who was afraid to talk about themselves.  What have you got to hide?  Why can't you tell me about your life?  Are you married, are you cheating?  Are you a psycho killer with a 12-year-old in the basement that you throw water down to, and scream at them, "It puts the lotion on it's body!" 

If you can't tell me about your daily life, you don't get to tie me and blindfold me.  You don't get to beat on me, and you don't deserve my trust.  Bottom line: get over yourself.  You're not so awesome that you automatically earn trust just because you breathe.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 5:50:08 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Op Im with you on this one. I have a friend that I met thru CM. She will inform me when she wants to scene. We will meet at the local club. We will discuss what she is expecting and then we do it there. After we finish she goes her way and I go mine. We don't expect anything from one another. With her it is a need that she needs filled. With me it is probably an ego booster because she is an extreamly sexy person.  


but hon? I am guessing you know SOMETHING about this woman... enough that you trusted her with your phone number?

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 8:00:52 AM   
MissSepphora1


Posts: 669
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		Just curious, what does having children actually indicate about someone's back ground?

For me, I've been a single mom with no child support and no help for 10 years.  I think it says that I am a strong independant woman who doesn't need a man.

What does it say to you?

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 8:06:26 AM   
MissSepphora1


Posts: 669
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		And the amazing thing to me is no one is asking the most important questions.

Do I have an STD, am I an intravenous drug user, do i do drugs.
If they want to know any of that, fine, I'll answer.


(in reply to MissSepphora1)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: 20 Questions - 4/11/2008 8:09:01 AM   
MissSepphora1


Posts: 669
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		Wanting to keep my personal life personal is a choice.
I don't want anyone involved.  And with children, the LAST thing I am going to do is give a man my address.  I am NOT crazy or desperate.

Now, the next thing.  If I wanted to, instead of not answering I could lie, lie, and lie some more.  If you met me online would you really know if I had a 12 year old in the basement?

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 40
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