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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 12:05:32 PM

submyt

Posts: 127
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Apparently not...tho' others indicated that would be the case/ protocol.
Learning more every day.

about forums and choices

Very glad to hear all of the suggestions of how to check out a potential match.

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 12:06:31 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx
What she's saying is *he* saw the thread, was not happy, convinced her of a 'good reason' he did what he did, and now she doesn't want people dissin' on him.

No, what she is saying is that he told me what happened, he and I discussed ways of handling situations that do not involve bolting when she is out of the room, I asked him to contact her which he did (not that he wouldn't have anyway, I don't know), and they have had some discussion back and forth which I hope deals with the situation honestly. I don't think he is a bad guy, I think he chose a very poor way of handling a situation.

Hopefully both parties will learn something from this.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 12:10:21 PM

hardatit

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greetings submyt, I think in general W/we seem to think that this lifestyle being "different" from vanilla, W/we don't have the same issues. To the contrary, there is abuse, rape, lies, cheats, thieves, and etc. The same precautions should be taken. Obviously this is "after the fact" and hind sight is 20/20 but if "you" can't change something, then the "control" is in someone else's hand. I say that to say this, W/we can only change what "W/we" have control over. All the advice seems to be about "be careful", think about what causes it, and so on, all perfectly good advice BUT, I would say that it all comes down to "you", the best advice is useless if you don't apply it. The book called "Change your Thoughts, Change your Life", I would suggest getting it, meditate, reflect, and work on "you". The rest will fall in place because what you will find is that you will look at things differently because after all, "you are the one in control! This lifestyle is a buffet, you pick and choose what you want to eat, the rest you leave for someO/one else. If O/one is honest, Y/you will find O/one that has like interest and you click. So, if a married person is on here and is HONEST about that fact, I am confident that they will find O/one that will be willing to indulge, like wise it gives U/us the choice whether or not W/we want to get involved. In other words W/we have the chance to make a decision based on the facts/truth. Good luck submissive and I wish you well.

Sir D

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 12:25:03 PM

submyt

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well said, sir D. thank you for your words and suggestions

submyt

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 1:52:19 PM

Sirsinini

Posts: 172
Joined: 11/13/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Parts of this thread bug me.
ME TOO !!
I LIKE just meeting someone and fucking the shit out of them or just using them and being done. I think it is more polite to ask about anal than where someone works or lives. Some of the best women I ever did were married. It is interesting drinking beer and watching TV with your woman sitting at your feet and her husband sitting next to you on the couch.

I wasnt gonna respond cause she wanted this thread "closed," but here it goes ~~
I dont care what site you are on... finding someone in a profile is an EXPECTATION not a given.
You might find the perfect "ONE" on http~ fuckmesillyinfrontof mommy~org but folk come here (The World of SINCERE CollarMe) expecting to find something and then when they hook up...if it doesnt go with their expectations...they blame the other...when the expectations of the other was NOT what they expected. That made sense!! So expectations were NEVER negogiated !

You cannot have a long term relationship in 2 weeks.
BUT
You can get a good fuck...with or without BD / SM or abuse. You cannot find your O/oNE without kissing frogs or frogetts.
No one gets what they want the first time around ~~ I think the law of matchmaking probability is against that.
BUT
You can get a good hard slam dunk fuck no matter which side of the coin you are on.
Kwankers are someone elses Knight.
Obedient slut whores are someone elses ho.

That honest looking, well groomed, sophisticated, smiling bachelor who sends you a golden goblet of wine from across the elegant dining room ~~ how did he notice you anyway ~~
1. is the God of Neptune he represents (what you think he represents)
2. will fuck your brains out in the ladies room, while you slip in to powder your nose
3. is a gentleman (of sorts)
4. is your best friends husband (that cheating thug)
5. is a ...........whatever YOU think he is
6. a man who is sending over a glass of wine.

For Once...I simply am astonded by Michael's elegant words.
I am as lucky as you BSB.
We both have practical minded men who are devoted to us.

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the only man truly worthy of being called Sir.

~~ Sir's devoted property
~~ whose profile is hidden on purpose

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 2:33:19 PM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Submyt: All I can say is I'm stunned. It's been a long time since someone was able to shock me, but you did. Next time go slower, meet with no play the first time, in a public place.

Cali

Submyt. i am sorry you've had these experiences. Please listen.... don't keep doing the same thing over and over and keep expecting a different result. Plan to meet, be open to happiness (happiness comes from within btw not from outside) and agree only to meet at a public place for a coffee or a salad or something. Insist there will be NO play, no touching, no 'inspection' (sheesh i wish i had a dollar for every time i've been told i'll be inspected). The creeps will decline with a variety of excuses they'll call reasons and frankly they aren't very creative. This is a good thing, because it means you are one or two frogs closer to meeting your prince or Prince of Darkness or whatever. -Hugs.

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 3:17:23 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: submyt

After talking for a bit via forums, eamil and phone, He came to visit for the weekend. we really seemed to hit it off...or so i thought...through conversation, laughter, as well as physical interaction. Then, it seems he "got what he came for"...told me to take a shower b4 we would go to lunch. That's when he packed his bag and split. And to think he asked me where the gas station was this morning...

The two Doms prior to this had lies and more lies. The first was married with children, with a girlfriend, and told me he wanted to marry me...even when I busted him he kept on lying. The second had a long time submissive of many years; had gone to great lengths to prove how "trustworthy" he was when I told him about mr. married/children/GF.

Every time this happens, not only am I greatly hurt, but left not understanding how one can treat another this way. But the reason for the post is this. Do we somehow warn others?? Is there some way to keep other submissives from falling for the same web of lies from these bastards???

Yes....privately email their Nicks by PM lol.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
similar happened to me: four years with a Dom who turned out to be married.
Looking within can sometimes help but even then looking within and finding only trust and submission within oneself doesn't really come up with the answers does it?

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 4/13/2008 4:00:13 PM >

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 3:34:10 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: submyt

Very good points. Perhaps we should start a new forum.

Please honor my request and CLOSE THSI THREAD.

thanks, guys

I'm going to sand a HUGE hug first if you are still here reading this hon.
Some how I smell fear.
It feels like he is watching and maybe stalking you even here.
If you want back in with the guy go back at your own discretion.
But in my experience he has you in what is known as a double bind.
You are wrong if you want out. and you are wrong (because you have 'dissed' him here if you want back in.
I CURSE the double binders....they really are the worse type of so-called D tyype to deakl with. They are not D's they are abusers. They put you in a no-win no-win situation.
believe me I have so many s types and slave types in PM asking me how did you, how can you get out.
It's hell getting out. especially when you make what THEY consider to be a wrong move. they go straight from possessiveness to the 'do-the-hell-what-you-like-dropping-you and find yourself begging to get back their perverse sense of protection.

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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
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To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 3:52:38 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submyt

Apparently not...tho' others indicated that would be the case/ protocol.
Learning more every day.

They said that they would - they can't speak for anyone else and the only ones who can offically close threads are the mods.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 4/13/2008 3:55:14 PM >

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 3:56:29 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
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From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Some how I smell fear. It feels like he is watching and maybe stalking you even here.

No, Prin, you are incorrect. You are making far more of this than it is. He made an error in handling a certain situation, that's all.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 3:56:53 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quick thought (as has been said many times before)

the guys that were wankers (without argument, I think) to her, may be the dreamboats for others.

*hugs* submyt... I hope you find YOUR dreamboat sooner than later and without more of these unfortunate derailments on your journey

One woman's wanker is another woman's Master (thank god)
PS still dragging my udder around

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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
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To my stalker:
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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 3:58:13 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Some how I smell fear. It feels like he is watching and maybe stalking you even here.

No, Prin, you are incorrect. You are making far more of this than it is. He made an error in handling a certain situation, that's all.

Cali

Oh that's ok then.
My apologies. No need to send a female supremacist round to his place.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 4:47:37 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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When you start chatting online with some guy, don't get yourself all wrapped up in the "I loveYou" or "Oh you are so beautiful" because that is what gets most women in trouble, and those that are good at getting pieces of ass are experts at using flattery

focus on what else he is saying ...how much of the conversation how much is on getting to know you as a person and how much focused on sex and if mostly on sex ...is it easy to get him into another topic of conversation or does he ignore the attempt to change topics or drifts right back to it. Those that want just a temporary sexual relationship with kink will focus most of their conversations on just that .....those that want relationships will touch on sex talk about kinks to know your interest, boundaries and experiences but little of it becomes the main topic on conversation , they are interested in getting to know you the person and what other interests you have and share their interests with you. When a conversation is mostly about sex don't go expecting a longe term relationship with that person they are infact telling you what they want from you regardless of what else they say inrder to wrap you around their finger in order to snare you. They may start off talking to you as a person but if a meet then becomes planned .....pay attention !!!....is the conversation now drifting to one based mostly of a sexual nature?? Hint ..Hint

if they want to scene with you on the first meet chances are they are not viewing the meet to get to know you as a person and don't have that much respect for you as such ....Another Hint are they asking you for nudey pictures of your self or asking you to cam nude??? Hint ...Hint!!

All the flowery flattery means nothing until after you have met a couple of times and it is at that point you can start basking in it...until that point pay attention to the rest of the conversations your having ....it will tell you a lot about the person and their intentions and help you to have a lot more successful meets

< Message edited by Maya2001 -- 4/13/2008 4:48:59 PM >

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 5:11:13 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juicy22

Well.....There aren't just a few on CM. There are alot alot alot of wankers, cons, manipulators, married men on the prowl, or women for that matter. The most important thing is to educate yourself.

There are many wonderful educational tools online to educate people on the D/s dynamics in a relationship. Educate yourself in as many ways as you can If you have never been in a long term D/s relationship. The cons on here don't. They don't care to. They're to busy looking for the "kink piece of ass." They go from one to the next until they find a sucker.

The warning signs are in your gut, your intuition, the red light that flickers in your head! Listen to it! Do not ever ignore it. Don't ever listen to someone who says you are crazy for asking questions when those warnings go off inside of you. If they anger easily at you for asking questions...run like hell! A person who lives the D/s dynamics will not anger knowing that you are only being safe and smart and your feeling safe is of the utmost importance to them.  A person who knows the dynamics of the D/s will respect you for your fears and concerns and will work with you to comfort those and I don't mean by meeting you at Motel 6 for a good spanking!

Some things that make the red light flicker in my head?
1. Only call or emails you from work. Not available after those hours.
2.  Loses your phone # from Friday until Monday.
3. His first questions to you is ..What are your hard limits? A true person wants to get to know you as a person, not wether you like anal or giving head!
4. A 56 year old man continually calls you from "his mothers cell phone."
5. Second question. What toys do you own and do you like butt plugs....lol
6. Third question. Do you live alone because you can never come to my house. I live   with my mother.

These are some of the humerous things that I have run across. I can type all day on more but you get the drift. In closing...educate yourself, ask questions, ask the same question over if needed, let them talk alot...liars and cons screw up. "Listen" to what they say and keep it in memory. They can't keep up with all the lies. And Don't forget..."If it doesn't makes sense, It isn't true."

AND
7. His first assigment is: Master wants me to find us a third to play with.

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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
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To my stalker:
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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 5:18:22 PM

submyt

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submyt signing off...it has been an interesting time spent here...thanks to those who offered support and friendship.

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 5:27:17 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

They said that they would - they can't speak for anyone else and the only ones who can offically close threads are the mods.

Yeah. And it's sort of funny, for me anyway, when a stranger attempts to dominate me by telling me not to respond to a thread. I can understand that the thread may be embarrasing or that the dom in question probably told her to stop, but neither of them have any authority over me.

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 5:28:48 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Get to know their friends and their neighbors and their dog.

Someone with a dog? Are you sure?

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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
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To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 5:33:47 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Some how I smell fear. It feels like he is watching and maybe stalking you even here.

No, Prin, you are incorrect. You are making far more of this than it is. He made an error in handling a certain situation, that's all.

Cali

Oh that's ok then.
My apologies. No need to send a female supremacist round to his place.

*snicker snort MOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOOOOO!!*

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 5:41:57 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Some how I smell fear. It feels like he is watching and maybe stalking you even here.

No, Prin, you are incorrect. You are making far more of this than it is. He made an error in handling a certain situation, that's all.

Cali

Oh that's ok then.
My apologies. No need to send a female supremacist round to his place.

*snicker snort MOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOOOOO!!*

To have experienced the bereavement of a master AND the breedin cow post all within in same few days just proves what aroller coaster this life can be.
The ONLY way to get over a bad Dom is to realise how feeble that bad Dom was by comparison the a even worse arsehole.
(Let's face it I could be staked to the ground in the middle of a field eating grass in ever decreasing circles with only the sound of a bell hanging round my neck for company).

_____________________________

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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

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RE: how to warn others/ deal with asshole Doms in realtime - 4/13/2008 5:48:54 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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omg, Prin... LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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