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RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/13/2005 3:19:28 PM   
luvdragonx


Posts: 388
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FLButtSlut
(snip)

Also, it seems that it is only subs that tend to type with the slash speak as opposed to dominants, and I have to wonder why that is.

(snip)


I'm waiting for someone to answer that one.

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Never Without Love

(in reply to FLButtSlut)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/13/2005 3:44:13 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Raingod:
quote:

What difference does it make how someone wants to type certain words? Live and let live... it's just typing.


No. On a message board it's a form of talking, in a profile, it's the person talking to me. Or perhaps I'm silly enough to think it's a form of communication. I'm hearing it in my head as if the person is saying it. That's why is drives me nuts to read profiles that say "this girl is owned." "this girl's email is read by her master." Who talks like that in real life? I don't know anyone who does.

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/13/2005 4:15:30 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: luvdragonx

quote:

ORIGINAL: FLButtSlut
(snip)

Also, it seems that it is only subs that tend to type with the slash speak as opposed to dominants, and I have to wonder why that is.

(snip)


I'm waiting for someone to answer that one.


I'd hazard that it is because nobody is going to holler at a dominant for being "disrespectful" because he or she didn't lower-case a pronoun used to address a submissive individual. I've seen plenty of dominants do -just- that to submissive persons, though.

Lady Zephyr

(in reply to luvdragonx)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/13/2005 4:27:48 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		Some of our property does. As I said for an earlier post, if I want my property to use this language, they shouldn't have to apologize to anyone for obeying me. I agree that this -is- a language issue, and it is communication whether or not it is spoken or in writing, and as the matriarch of our household, mode of speech is one of the things about my servants that I control.

Frankly, I don't really care who likes the style and form of language that I tell my servants to use. All I care about is that my own purposes are served, and that my servants do what I tell them to do. That, in general, should be sufficient for anyone reading, as well. The servant does what the owner commands...which is how it -should- be in a D/s relationship. I wonder when it came to be a "standard" that an owner has to explain him or herself to every Tom, Dick and Harry, and attempt to -justify- a command that clearly is a harmless preference. I also wonder when it became a -bad- thing to have to concentrate on what is being said in a post, and to have to THINK about what is behind the language being used. That speaks to me of a measure of laziness, and sounds very much like an expectation that I should change the management of my servants to suit other peoples' fainiancy.

Lady Zephyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Raingod:
quote:

What difference does it make how someone wants to type certain words? Live and let live... it's just typing.


No. On a message board it's a form of talking, in a profile, it's the person talking to me. Or perhaps I'm silly enough to think it's a form of communication. I'm hearing it in my head as if the person is saying it. That's why is drives me nuts to read profiles that say "this girl is owned." "this girl's email is read by her master." Who talks like that in real life? I don't know anyone who does.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/13/2005 4:48:39 PM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline 		Holy cow...are W/we picky picky picky. i am amazed at people who claim they are accepting of others' kinks -- no matter how bizarre -- but are actually OFFENDED by Y/you. It so happens i like it; i picked it up in the Lobby -- collarme's main chat room. So what? i think my posts are readable, but if not, o well.

pinkpleasures

p.s. That 3rd person speech and the crawling drivel makes me irritated, but i'd never critise someone for using it. It's just what they choose for themselves; i can always look elsewhere for more homogenous opinions; but then i'd miss alot.

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 10/13/2005 4:49:20 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/13/2005 5:08:37 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadiesBladewing
I'd hazard that it is because nobody is going to holler at a dominant for being "disrespectful" because he or she didn't lower-case a pronoun used to address a submissive individual. I've seen plenty of dominants do -just- that to submissive persons, though.

Lady Zephyr


Actually, I've had people "yell" at me for uppercasing submissive's names in chat rooms. I just laugh and not use the person's name again.

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Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/13/2005 5:37:30 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren


Actually, I've had people "yell" at me for uppercasing submissive's names in chat rooms. I just laugh and not use the person's name again.


I don't do a lot of "chatrooming", but I'd guess there must be a little bit of everything out there, eh? Depending on the time of the month (back when it mattered *chuckles*), there's a distinct possibility that I would have probably been more than a little cranky with someone who tried to tell me how to address a 3rd party.

Now, for my rant. (Thanks in advance for obliging me, readers!) If the submissive individual told me that hir owner required hir to let me know that hir name was to be kept strictly in lower case, as long as it was presented with some measure of civility, I would likely be happy to oblige, just like I would oblige an owner whose property addressed me in 3rd person, or even slash-tongue because the owner required it. I would expect my servants to do what I told them, no matter who told them otherwise, so by my ethics, I can't exactly do less for another owner, can I? *grins*

For me, this extends to those owners who require their property to call all women Ma'am or Mistress. If the property has a good reason for it, I would accept it, at -least- until I could speak to the owner and express my preference for another form of address. The only thing I -won't- oblige is those owners who require their property to call all other submissive individuals "sister" or "brother"...or those who address me as "sister". Those are terms that, for us, are restricted to our own family of choice, and even -then- only within the core of our family (those who have made a bonded commitment to the family). Our property are informed that they are to let other peoples' property know that they are not allowed to accept a familial bond or express such a bond with anyone who is not a known and established member of the House. That is one of -my- pet peeves from the chat rooms. (Ok...it's safe... rant over!)

Lady Zephyr


(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/13/2005 7:17:46 PM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		it is done because it was requested it be done.
simply following instructions.


quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2


quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

third person speech is not done to remind a top that he is a top.
it is done to take the slave's sense of self away,it is a conditioning tool.


This is actually the only reason I don't agree with for using third person speech.

A dom's got a penchant for it? That I get. He wants you to think before you speak? That I get. He wants you to view yourself as an object? That I get.

But speaking in third person doesn't take away a sense of self, it just redefines "self." Speaking in third person doesn't take away ego, it just restructures it.

You're still being possessive by saying "She" and "her." Those are still possessive words. SOMEONE is still doing those things, and that SOMEONE is you.

Oddly enough I have randomly spoken in third person for as long as I can remember. Usually it's in a humorous way, or an arrogant way (again, all third person does is REDEFINE possession, it can be used to ENHANCE one's position), and as I got older, people around me thought it was weird when I suddenly burst into a sentence that used third person.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered the "scene" and found out that talking in third person was a big deal and some symbol of ego or lack thereof.

I know SOME people who can speak in third person and do it gracefully and communicate in a very fluid way and you don't even notice. I also see some people who speak in third person and they might as well be a blinking neon sign saying "LOOK HOW AWESOMELY SUBMISSIVE I AM TALKING LIKE THIS, ISN'T THIS COOL?"

For whatever reason you use it for, talking in third person can accomplish a lot of things, but the idea that you're losing ego or losing self or not being possessive anymore, just doesn't hold water IMO.




_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
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RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/14/2005 12:11:34 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

third person speech is not done to remind a top that he is a top.
it is done to take the slave's sense of self away,it is a conditioning tool.



And why would someone want to take someone elses sense of themself away?

(in reply to fyreredsub)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/14/2005 3:43:52 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion


quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

third person speech is not done to remind a top that he is a top.
it is done to take the slave's sense of self away,it is a conditioning tool.



And why would someone want to take someone elses sense of themself away?


in this situation ,nothing is being taken away........it is quite simply the manner used in Master's house.

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/14/2005 4:37:25 AM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		The goal, for us, is not to take away the sense of "self", per se. The goal is the recognition of a conscious choice, by a servant, at the direction of his or her owner, to set aside living for the benefit of one's own ego in favor of living for the benefit of those whom one serves. The sense of "self" serves a useful purpose, in that it is from understanding oneself that one is aware of the tools that one may offer in service. However, it is useful, especially in a case like ours where our servants often also choose to explore this life from a spiritual and esoteric perspective, to consciously set aside the ego as the driving force behind how one lives and the choices that one makes. We use third-person speech for any number of reasons, but where it relates to the conscious presentation of the decision to submerge the ego, this is where it fits.

(We also do not subscribe to the notion that, once the decision has been made to accept a life of submission and service, there is no other decision to -be- made. We believe and teach that each act of obedience is a decision, and that the individual who submits chooses to do so with each act. We teach that disobedience is the -responsibility- of the disobedient individual, and that, with the choice to obey or disobey come certain consequences, which will be levied by the owners, and it is a mark of responsibility to accept the consequences of one's actions with dignity and grace. This philosophy requires that we respect and cherish the "self" of each person who becomes property in our household -- and the decision to yield the self to the purpose of the owners is never taken lightly.)

Lady Zephyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion


quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

third person speech is not done to remind a top that he is a top.
it is done to take the slave's sense of self away,it is a conditioning tool.



And why would someone want to take someone elses sense of themself away?

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/14/2005 6:16:05 AM   
sudja


Posts: 155
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		I/i T/think I/it I/is D/dorky.

sudja

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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/14/2005 6:29:11 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

The goal is the recognition of a conscious choice, by a servant, at the direction of his or her owner, to set aside living for the benefit of one's own ego in favor of living for the benefit of those whom one serves.


thank you for your input on this thread regarding the usage of third person speech. many have belittled those who type or speak in this manner without even trying to understand the impetus behind it. eliminating I, me, mine or my from this slave's speech and written words is a goal that this slave strives to achieve for Master's satisfaction and this slave's edification.

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/14/2005 7:59:56 AM   
hawk58


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/23/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Hmmm...the first online BDSM community I was ever involved with was the Basement of Bianca's Smut Shack (anyone else remember that???),


OMG! That has been awhile. I didn thnik ANYONE knew or remebered B's basement! I was "dark dove (f)" back in those days. What was your handle?

-dove

_____________________________

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Master of dove's Haven

"True Power/Control is knowing that You have the ability to use it, but choose not to."

Hearts in Service:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HeartsInService/

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/15/2005 2:45:46 PM   
ShadeDiva


Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
quote:

I'd hazard that it is because nobody is going to holler at a dominant for being "disrespectful" because he or she didn't lower-case a pronoun used to address a submissive individual. I've seen plenty of dominants do -just- that to submissive persons, though.


Not true.

I've actually been known in the past to do that back when I was being something of a obnoxious brat to dominants that attempted to reproach me for NOT doing it.

I tended to turn that bs right around on their ass and state if it was so damned important enough for them to waste their time and energy to type out their whining complaint about the lack of me doing that then they ought to be setting that example and practice what they preach or just shut the hell up and stop reading what I type.

Or something around those lines. Granted that type of 'tude was reserved for those that were being rude by demanding and commanding something from me when I was not theirs to command or demand anything from. Those who politely asked why I didn't, received a much nicer and polite reply in turn.

I've also asked those that demand it if they demand that same addressing in real life. Amusingly enough about 95% of them did claim that they required that form of addressing people in speech from those that would serve them. I don't think any of them ever sputtered up a reply to my next question which always followed, so tell me, how EXACTLY does someone pronounce Y/you, T/them, etc anyway? Do they stutter the first letter everytime they say it? Doesn't that get on your nerves? To which they'd usually say no, no - no stuttering. So I'd ask well then how can you TELL if they are addressing folks correctly then?

They never had an answer for that. They didn't like my followup on that either. Which was: then how do you know they are being respectful if you can't tell when they are talking if they are doing the D/double L/letter S/speakie T/thingie? By their actions of course they'd say. To which I'd go so exactly *why* can't you tell by someone's actions online if they are being respectful or not? Why can't you tell online - why it is so hard that you require additional help to see something that you wouldn't have in real life?

Yeah. That got me in trouble a lot way back when. I wrote a LOT of sentences saying:
I will not bait the cyberdoms.

Ow. I just got a hand cramp from remembering that. *sigh* Took way longer than it should have to learn that particular lesson, lol.

It was just so much FUN "killing and torturing" the domlets back then.

_____________________________

~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/15/2005 11:20:52 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

I'm waiting for someone to answer that one.


Ooh, ooh, M/me M/me! Sorry, couldn't resist. I have noticed that the trend goes the submissive direction, but I've seen doms do it too. I, for one, though submissive, find all the slashiness annoying. I think we've already deduced that it's extranneous and hard to read. More than that, though, it tends to imply that a sub owes a dom who is not their own some sort of due. That implication irks me more than the act itself. Being polite is fine, but if someone isn't your dom you don't owe them a thing other than that.


_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to luvdragonx)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/19/2005 4:41:56 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadiesBladewing

Frankly, I don't really care who likes the style and form of language that I tell my servants to use. All I care about is that my own purposes are served, and that my servants do what I tell them to do. That, in general, should be sufficient for anyone reading, as well. The servant does what the owner commands...which is how it -should- be in a D/s relationship. I wonder when it came to be a "standard" that an owner has to explain him or herself to every Tom, Dick and Harry, and attempt to -justify- a command that clearly is a harmless preference. I also wonder when it became a -bad- thing to have to concentrate on what is being said in a post, and to have to THINK about what is behind the language being used. That speaks to me of a measure of laziness, and sounds very much like an expectation that I should change the management of my servants to suit other peoples' fainiancy.

Lady Zephyr




I can't say that I blame you for not caring whether someone likes your preferences or not. I certainly don't. I've never seen anyone of note suggest that a dominant should explain their preferences in this regard other than people who ask for an explanation as a means to understand. I did say "anyone of note."

Having said that, I usually don't bother to read people who spend a lot of time with online protocol and third person speech. I figure if they (and/ or their dominant) want to be more difficult to be understood then so be it, but I choose not to participate. Like you, I don't care who doesn't like it.

I'm of the opinion that the medium is difficult enough to communicate well in, accommodating additional distortions and intentional difficulties is not on my agenda - especially if it's to accommodate someone else's kink who hasn't asked if I consent to same. If I've a mind to control a submissive's use of the written word I usually insist on good grammar and spelling. Of course, then I have to stay on my toes to police it; but I've found that to be win/win as I usually pick up some things I either didn't know or am rusty at.

The english language, done correctly, is challenging enough.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

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Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/19/2005 6:52:18 PM   
gypsyeyez


Posts: 28
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		Yes it seems everyone is right it started as some kind of online protocal.... I really dislike doing it and dislike when Dominants ask that you type this way. When all of us went to school and learned grammar .... this truly defies all gramatic rules. I think it is stupid it looks stupid even though when I first found this lifestyle I did so in online research and was made to form such a bad habit. I think that people can show a great deal of respect and not type gramaticallly stupid. In truth it is not about respect.... it is about someone who started it in a freaking chat room and like that they could alter the entire course of people's grammatic teachings over years in a simple command of oh this is not proper protocal if you speak proper english. I say everyone should grow up....type in such a way to make others aware of their intelligence. And as far as ones who believe this is proper.... If you can't get help at Charter get HELP somewhere.

Just my humble opinion,

< Message edited by gypsyeyez -- 10/19/2005 6:53:58 PM >

_____________________________

~*~gypsy~*~

The delve into the depths of the soul of another one must first have the guts to search their eyes for hours...
for the eyes truly are the windows of the soul.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 98
Re: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 10/24/2005 8:45:51 AM   
addcted2it


Posts: 78
Joined: 10/28/2004
From: Sonoma County, California, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I have to ask. Where did this get its start? Why is it prevalent among some members who post? Is this some secret protocol?

Please don't flame me for being stupid, many thanks.



edited for spelling


OcideGirl may, in fact, be right about the origin of this peculiar form of lexicon within the BDSM and D/S world, ie. originating in chat rooms around 11 years ago.

I have found that the majority of people in the scene do not like to use it, but a few do require it's use. But it really depends upon one's preference and style (or lack thereof).

Personally, I prefer using traditional English, which is to only capitalize proper nouns, and lower-case common and collective nouns. But then the language of our time is always changing, and perhaps (IMHO) for the worse.

-Phil

_____________________________

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Life is short! Live it to the fullest!

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Y/you, A/all, U/us - 11/24/2005 11:42:01 AM   
LuvSponge


Posts: 109
Joined: 4/11/2004
Status: offline 		W/well P/personally, I/i F/fucking H/hate T/that S/shit.

(It's just silly theatrics).

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(Unless of course she tells you otherwise).

(in reply to luvdragonx)
Profile   Post #: 100
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