What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl?

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What is the best way of getting the attention of a domi... - 4/17/2008 5:13:37 AM

jay737

Posts: 5
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

Hi first I’d like to thank you for you interest and reading this. I’m here to seek some advice all comments will be very much appreciated. I like the thought of being dominated by a girl. I have had these desires even before I really knew what I wanted in a relationship. I know I am submissive but I don’t know to what extent. I am so new to this and it feels somewhat scary but yet exiting. I have had a profile on this site for a wile now with no success. Maybe I’m just not up to scratch with drawing the attention of a dominant girl. May be you could take a look at my profile and give me some tips on what’s good about it and what’s not. Is there any other way to explore this desire? Maybe I’m just taking the wrong approach?

I look forward to you replies

Jay

Post #: 1

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 5:16:48 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

1) dont refer to dominant females as "girls"

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to jay737)

Post #: 2

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 5:19:32 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

1) dont refer to dominant females as "girls"

E

That was my first reaction...

women, we're women...

if this is your only outlet, you're not likely to find success quickly... how long have you had a profile here? When was the last time you went to a munch or event? You've got to make an effort to win the prize.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 3

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 5:34:11 AM

SadistsSeeking

Posts: 17
Joined: 3/10/2008
Status: offline

Not that I'm disagreeing with you Lady Ellen, but if the dominant female is 18 to me she is still a "girl." I do understand the importance of proper usage of terms, but I think the age of the Domme is also a factor. A Lady, like youself, should never be refered to as a "girl" while, IMHO, an 18 year old should have to earn that title. I know, I'm probably starting a firestorm, but this is only my opinion.

Sir Pain, Extreme Sadist and Loving Master

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 4

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 5:37:18 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

your profile is pretty sparse and you got that 'girl' thing going on there too...

there are some threads in the Ask A Mistress forum that include information on what dominant (note the word, dominant) women look for... you might read some of those...

(in reply to jay737)

Post #: 5

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 5:40:04 AM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SadistsSeeking

Not that I'm disagreeing with you Lady Ellen, but if the dominant female is 18 to me she is still a "girl." I do understand the importance of proper usage of terms, but I think the age of the Domme is also a factor. A Lady, like youself, should never be refered to as a "girl" while, IMHO, an 18 year old should have to earn that title. I know, I'm probably starting a firestorm, but this is only my opinion.

Sir Pain, Extreme Sadist and Loving Master

Sure thing. :) I'll just call you boy until I feel you have reached the magical age of becoming a man- Just to be fair, I'll randomly decide the number, because after all, I know better than you. Hrm... how's 67...

Edited to add:

In all seriousness, most people are offended by the term "Boy" and "Girl" when it's used like that. I let one person call me girl, and I by no means consider myself a domme.

< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 4/17/2008 5:51:00 AM >

(in reply to SadistsSeeking)

Post #: 6

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 5:42:26 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

from the dictionary website...

Just as many mature men, even young men, resent being referred to as boys, many adult women today are offended if referred to as girls, or the less formal gals. In business and professional offices, the practice of referring to one's secretary as the girl or my girl, as in I'll have my girl look it up and call you back, has decreased but not disappeared entirely. Such terms as the girls in reference to a group of women, girl or gal Friday in reference to a female secretary or assistant, and bachelor girl in reference to an unmarried woman are increasingly regarded as offensive, and working girl in the sense “a woman who works” is declining in use.

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 7

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 6:54:26 AM

indianslave37

Posts: 14
Joined: 11/22/2005
Status: offline

I am a male slave. I hv been following whatever is recommended in this forum and I am yet to find a Mistress after 3 years. Maybe it has something to do with the country I live in.

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 8

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 7:01:15 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

It could be where you live, it could be something else entirely ... plus you've only been looking for 3 years. I know people whom I would consider to be doing everything right who have been looking for 10 years or longer.

to the OP - as the others said, calling Dommes "girls" is generally not the way to go. Also, find a local munch group and join it. Participate on the forums here, and look for other sites as well (the BDSM message boards on literotica.com aren't bad - that's where Holly and I started, although I've started to like the forums here better). Being respectful is never bad, and being yourself is always good. Treat the people that you talk to as people and not like life support systems for whatever kink you've just discovered.

Try the search function too - there are a ton of threads on the topic already.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to indianslave37)

Post #: 9

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 7:06:47 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

FR~~

Jay737,
You are a beautiful black man, you look strong and confident. I think that many subs look for confidence in their search for a Dominant. You say you are somewhat a romantic, IMO, that is another plus for you. Give yourself some time, start posting here on the forums as there are many subs looking, who post here. Try to hit some munches in your area and just get yourself out there :)
People will take notice. You are a handsome man.

MoGa

_____________________________

(in reply to jay737)

Post #: 10

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 7:09:25 AM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

With an avatar like yours, you'll get the attention of the lowest of the lowest submissive

. Gasp!

_____________________________

(in reply to jay737)

Post #: 11

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 7:38:45 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Ok girls back off the man. He asked a simple question and all you can do is to rail on him about the word girl. Good thing that he did'nt say older women. Op don't worry about it.You will have women all over you. Most of them will ask to be your submissive.

(in reply to kittinSol)

Post #: 12

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 7:53:03 AM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

Correkshion, Raymond: I railed about how good looking he is. Nuffink else.

Cos I'm superficial like that ;-p .

_____________________________

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 13

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 7:56:31 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

I do believe that you will find most of us Ladies gave multiple bits of advice, not just that it's not good form to call a Dominant woman 'girl'

But then, I guess with how you replied, you just kind of ignored that and are just trying to stir up shit.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 14

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 7:58:35 AM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Ok girls back off the man. He asked a simple question and all you can do is to rail on him about the word girl. Good thing that he did'nt say older women. Op don't worry about it.You will have women all over you. Most of them will ask to be your submissive.

I wasn't angry at the OP, I don't think his use of the word girl was intentionally rude. SadistsSeeking wasn't so innocent though. >.>

Jay needs more pictures in my opinion...

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 15

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 8:06:33 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

you're wrong..

and for the most part, his use of girl is most likely to put some dominant women off (what he's seeking) and have submissive women thinking he's looking for them... because the odds aren't so great, I'm guessing its not a good idea to put any off at all

seems to me, its some of the best advice he got... but he did get much more...

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 4/17/2008 8:15:20 AM >

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 16

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 8:08:34 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

Actually, I liked your profile.

Have you approached many Dommes? Chances are that they won't come looking for you. We get bombarded with emails and rarely have either the time or inclination to look further.

The emails that I am most likely to respond to are those that show intelligence or curiosity. Ask me a question (a respectful one) and I am most likely to answer. I ignore anyone that looks like they will either be a leach or a letch.

Keep in mind that male subs outnumber Dommes by about 10 to 1. However, I am sure that if you keep looking you will find One who needs exactly what you have to offer. Being a beginner is not necessarily a turn off for a Domme but can be the exact opposite. Hang in there!

_____________________________

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 17

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 8:12:25 AM

slaveintraning

Posts: 17
Joined: 3/30/2008
Status: offline

Would like to ask, what is a Mistress looking for in a sub/slave profile that she thinks is something she might reply to?

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 18

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 8:32:42 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

You could mention something that you particularly like in Her profile - be specific, not generic. I tend not to believe men if they simply say that I am beautiful. I figure that it is only flattery because they want something from me, so I personally wouldn't recommend that unless you say it sincerely.

Don't beg to be taken immediately, but show that you would enjoy getting to know Her better in order to see if your personalities mesh. I know I hate having men just throw themselves at my feet in the first few emails - they don't know who I am or what I am capable of. Don't start by asking if they will need tribute - if they do they will let you know, if they don't they may be very insulted. Just tell a little about yourself, what you are looking for (not a wish list), and be just on the dark side of vanilla. Saying something like, "I can't wait for you to get me into bed" will NOT work with most women.

_____________________________

(in reply to slaveintraning)

Post #: 19

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a ... - 4/17/2008 8:37:14 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

Most girls aren't looking for a boy such as yourself, however some adult women may check you out, it just depends upon the woman. Be polite, honest and respectful and you just may snag someones attention.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to jay737)

Post #: 20

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