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When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 7:57:32 AM   
DupedDom


Posts: 65
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline 		I am married and so is my sub. My wife found out about us and i told my sub that I could not see her again. We tried finding some alternative ways that we could keep our dom/sub relationship alive but could not find anything that suited her. That was in Sept. 07. We talked a bit and she told me that she wanted another master but I resisted. I found out last week that she has been collared by another.

Do I have any rights to ask her or her new Dom, that they at least ask me, before they comtinue their relationship. It is sort of after the fact but I want my due.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 7:59:46 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		you feel duped?  wonder how your wife feels....

edited to add:  do i remind you of your grandmother?

< Message edited by christine1 -- 4/21/2008 8:01:16 AM >

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

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He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 8:05:04 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		you said nothing about how your wife felt about you finding other ways of keeping your D/s relationship-- can we assume that she was against your extramarital affair in any way shape or form?

Personally, I would not have entered into a relationship with you without full disclosure and concent from your wife.  With that said, when she approached me with the request to quit seeing you, I would have obliged.

Quite frankly I don't think that you deserve anything from the sub, she gave you as much as she could and found that she wasn't happy with what you could give back.  I feel it was selfish for you to try to continue under the radar of you wife.  The sub and her new Dom don't owe you anything but you owe your wife a plethora of remorse.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to christine1)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 8:06:27 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Your due is to be thankful you still have a wife. Stop cheating on her.
The sub in question owes you NOTHING. she was the cheatee, and now that you're busted you can't be with her, so she'll move on and find someone else. You expect her to sit around and pine away over you?

(in reply to christine1)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 8:22:58 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

...Do I have any rights to ask her or her new Dom, that they at least ask me, before they comtinue their relationship...


ask your wife.
 
it only seems logical that since you ended the relationship with your sub upon your wife finding out about it...she would be the one to let you know what your "rights" are, concerning intimate relationships with folks that aren't her.

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 8:24:44 AM   
Poetryinpain


Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline 		This is a joke, right?

Just because you both were cheating on your respective spouses doesn't mean the sub owes you anything.

Besides, the sub didn't end the relationship. Your wife did. When your wife found out, the relationship was over. Period. End of repoert.

pip, surprised at the density of some skulls

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 8:28:44 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		Yes you have some rights based on the Supreme Court decision of Reality versus Delusion that proclaimed a man calling himself a dominant has legal rights over a person who they cannot be there for and a complete stranger they chose over them who can. ;)

You cannot control anyone who does not want you to control them.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 8:29:02 AM   
LadyRainfire


Posts: 6040
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline 		OP - due? When you entered into a relationship secretly without regard for your wife? I agree with the others, check with your wife. Sounds to me that the sub moved on with her life, without you in it, since you seem determined to deceive and dupe others. Who really was duped here?

_____________________________

"Desire is an insatiable beast. Sample your strongest dreams, and you will only crave more." ~ Master

~ one half of "L&L"~

My current state of mind

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 8:31:19 AM   
Constrictor1


Posts: 143
Joined: 6/29/2006
From: Constrictor1
Status: offline 		It was over when your wife said it was. Also you informed your sub you could no longer see her.  That's called a release.  At this point, regardless of whether your former sub's husband is aware, or whether you feel you are owed something for your great Dominance gift (sarcasm), is/are completely irrelevant.

I find it abhorrent that men like you exist and call themselves dominant.  This lifestyle is supposed to be about trust, just as the trust as the trust your wife had with you.  As stated in an earlier response, I would count my blessings that I still had a wife and not a divorce attorney calling me on an hourly basis.

As for your due, I recommend you buy a large mirror and every day get up and look at the arrogant SOB that your wife is graciously tolerating and ask yourself, if she were FUCKING AROUND on me with someone, would I have the grace and dignity to accept, forgive, and move on.  Based on the idea that you feel you are owed something, that is enough insight into your personality for me to believe that you don't have that level of internal integrity.

If you choose in the future to seek other subs, with or without your wife's permission, I recommend you try something that is apparently lacking in your life, which is open, honest communication about what you feel is lacking in your relationship with your wife to try and heal it before you make another painfully stupid decision.

Constrictor1

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 8:31:43 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ask your wife.


LOL, perfect answer.



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- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 8:35:42 AM   
Daddyslilpookie


Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline 		I really feel bad for your your poor wife, she should dump your ass, if I were her I would

_____________________________

Princess Andie


"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 9:11:39 AM   
DupedDom


Posts: 65
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline 		Wow, I did not realize that there were so many willing to cast the first stone. Not one of you has ever cheated??? Ever??? Thanks for your honest but I think slightly hypocritical comments.

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 9:14:45 AM   
DupedDom


Posts: 65
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline 		In any other relationship, I would agree. I thought there was some respect due a person that you once called Master!! Or does it end when at the subs whim??

(in reply to Constrictor1)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 9:19:06 AM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DupedDom

Wow, I did not realize that there were so many willing to cast the first stone. Not one of you has ever cheated??? Ever??? Thanks for your honest but I think slightly hypocritical comments.


I can honestly say I have never cheated.  Ever.  At 21 years old, I realize the rammifications of cheating on someone, and the fact that Karma is a big truck, and we are all just little squirrels on the road of life.

Your ex sub owes you absolutely nothing.  Nor does her current Dom.  She is no longer something you need to prioritize, and perhaps is now happy in your absence.  Your WIFE and the marriage with her is what you need to be worrying about.  Like its been stated, if I was your wife, your ass would be kicked to the curb right now. 


_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 9:21:22 AM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DupedDom

In any other relationship, I would agree. I thought there was some respect due a person that you once called Master!! Or does it end when at the subs whim??


You said, "i told my sub that I could not see her again."  That means she is free and willing to do as she pleases with her life, as far as I am concerned anyways.  She probably still respects you, but only as a fellow human being.  

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 9:28:21 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DupedDom

In any other relationship, I would agree. I thought there was some respect due a person that you once called Master!! Or does it end when at the subs whim??


It ends when the authority ends. As soon as you stopped seeing her, you stopped being her master, and the obligation to 'do as you say' ended. You can't expect to get something for nothing. As for the sub's whim, it is exactly that. Once she chooses not to be your sub anymore, it's done. The sub DOES have one choice, the choice to walk away, and leave your sorry ass on the curb.

There are some people out there who go their entire lives without cheating on their partners, it may seem surprising to you, but some of us value loyalty and any promises or oaths we take, official, or unofficial, mean more than sating lust. I'm not one to be judgemental or at least, to keep it behind my teeth most times, but this time, I will say what's on my mind.
You are disgusting. Your wife caught you cheating and remains with you, and all you can think about is continuing to cheat on her. You feel no remorse at what you have done? Do you not love your wife anymore? Doesn't your wife have the right to know what's in your heart, how you feel towards her? stop thinking about yourself for once.
If you continue to focus on what you 'want' with such blind arrogance, you will end up losing what you already HAVE sitting in front of you.

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 9:34:25 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

Do I have any rights to ask her or her new Dom, that they at least ask me, before they comtinue their relationship. It is sort of after the fact but I want my due.


To answer your question....YOU broke up with your married submissive because YOU felt your marriage was more important than YOUR side piece of kinky submissive.   It would seem that YOU released HER which now gives you zip, zero, nil, nada rights to what she can or can not do.  I know you feel "betrayed" in that she can still play around, have kinky sex, get collared, and you must toe the line, however, that is the nature of the cheating beast....some get caught and some do not.  



(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 9:35:35 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DupedDom

Wow, I did not realize that there were so many willing to cast the first stone. Not one of you has ever cheated??? Ever??? Thanks for your honest but I think slightly hypocritical comments.


i'm not sure why you think it's so hard to believe that there are real people on planet earth who don't cheat on their partners...it's really not a difficult concept to grasp. if you make a commitment to another, then stick to it.  

you can do what you want but don't tell me i'm a hypocrite because i choose to live differently than you do.  hell, you can have 12 secret relationships at once as far as i care, but don't come crying to some message board about the people in your life not respecting you as a result of your choices.

you talk of hypocrysy...take a look at yourself for a moment, a good honest hard look at ones self is hard to do but worthwhile.

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3


He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 9:36:24 AM   
lanie38


Posts: 120
Joined: 9/14/2007
Status: offline 		Perhaps your former sub didn't see it necessary to avow you that courtesy...perhaps because of the evident lack of respect towards your wife she felt confidant that you wouldn't expect any in return...

And btw at 41 I've never cheated on anyone...to me it just wasn't worth my self-respect...just sayin'

_____________________________

Don't be so humble...you're not that great. ~ Golda Meir

(in reply to KyttynTheMynx)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: When is it over........... - 4/21/2008 9:36:35 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DupedDom

In any other relationship, I would agree. I thought there was some respect due a person that you once called Master!! Or does it end when at the subs whim??


Ha, this is so funny its unreal and yet I have been there so its not. You call yourself a Master and that means right away that you can do what you want? So you can have a relationship with a woman who you cant see because you cheated on your wife and you expect her to after not seeing you (for seven months!!!!) to ask if its ok to be with someone else? Are you honestly serious? So what if you hadnt spoken to her for 10 years would she still owe you something?

This is sad and full of fantasy, in a realtionship ANY relationship both partners have to be getting something out of it, you told her you couldnt see her, you realised there was no way to maintain the relationship doesnt that mean the relationship is over and she can do what the hell she wants with whoever she wants? I think it does.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to DupedDom)
Profile   Post #: 20
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