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RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/11/2005 5:35:16 PM

JustaTop

Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

There are any number of safeguards to root out posers.

They all involve real time communcation of some sort-or a personal visit. Then there are background checks. (especially helpful for spotting con artists,criminals and cheaters)

If a person is serious,they probably won't deny you these things-and the background check only requires a real name and location to do-and about fifty bucks.

If not,merely having things to hide speaks volumes.

(in reply to anthrosub)

Post #: 21

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/11/2005 5:43:47 PM

anthrosub

Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline

LadyAngelica and GoddessDustyGold....thank you both for your support and kind words. My next thought is whether there's any way to do anything responsibly in case this person is a fake but I can't think of one short of visiting the business in NH and asking something that would let me know without causing embarassment or causing a scene. This is my first encounter of this sort (if it's what it looks like). Either way, it's an important lesson to learn how to be more vigilant when contacting people online.

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to anthrosub)

Post #: 22

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/11/2005 5:47:26 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: anthrosub

LadyAngelica and GoddessDustyGold....thank you both for your support and kind words. My next thought is whether there's any way to do anything responsibly in case this person is a fake but I can't think of one short of visiting the business in NH and asking something that would let me know without causing embarassment or causing a scene. This is my first encounter of this sort (if it's what it looks like). Either way, it's an important lesson to learn how to be more vigilant when contacting people online.

anthrosub[/color]

You know her name; you know her business. Call her there.

Before Libby came to NYC to visit me she called my office and had a talk with my assistant's secretary just to confirm I worked there.

You've got her street address? Send her a nice card and ask her how she liked it... like "what did you like about the picture".

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to anthrosub)

Post #: 23

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/11/2005 6:07:07 PM

MistressFire70

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

No Fem Dom I know would send a nude photo, tasteful or not, in answer to a simply polite email. Of course, I don't know all the world's Fem Doms. Men are, on average, very visual creatures (hence porn) and don't think twice about sending a nude photo, thinking that's what the other person wants to see.

Still, this doesn't address your point. The others have given very good advice. However, if you contact her and she's NOT who you have been talking to, be prepared to explain everything. You'll be outing yourself. I'd think that once she got over the embarassment, she'd be grateful.

Fire

_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

(in reply to anthrosub)

Post #: 24

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/11/2005 6:15:35 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

As John Warren states, anthro, if you really have a need to follow this through, it seems you have some good information to begin. Personally, I would let it go...take it as a good lesson learned, and a hint as to how easy it is for a male to manipulate another male. You know where you got caught! *S* And kudos to you for being able to see it. It should help you in the future.
You are right in that you will never know for sure it was a male or a female, except by following through with an investigation of some sort. There are ways to check things out online, without ever having to come into contact with the other person. Only you can decide whether or not it is worth the effort.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 10/11/2005 6:22:43 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to anthrosub)

Post #: 25

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/11/2005 8:16:31 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

I do understand why anthro is bringing this up from a different standpoint.
I have had several boys talk to Me about the feeling that they are getting taken for a ride by other males on the internet. I don't relate to it, personally, but it is one reason why I am always ok with speaking on the phone in a rather quick manner. I know there are ways to trick on the phone also, and ways to even fool someone on webcam.

I'm pretty much the opposite. I don't do phone verifications after some awkward "one-handed" conversations. (And, of course, every submissive tells me they don't do that.) If I'm interested in somebody, I want to meet them, in the flesh, so to speak. They can hear my voice when I call, and verify that I'm coming the day of the meeting.

I agree that it's unlikely that a female Domme will be sending nude photos of herself (thus fulfilling every submissive's dream lol). But I have known women who send nude photos, not of themselves, but of the body they wish they had, to get the acclaim they want...and then "vanish" because they can't live up to the virtual image they've presented.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 26

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/11/2005 8:56:18 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I agree that it's unlikely that a female Domme will be sending nude photos of herself (thus fulfilling every submissive's dream lol). But I have known women who send nude photos, not of themselves, but of the body they wish they had, to get the acclaim they want...and then "vanish" because they can't live up to the virtual image they've presented.

Why would a Domme not send a nude photo of herself? I've never sent a total nude but some erotic half nudes to boys I've gotten closer too. Not all Dommes want to keep their lovely bodies covered up! I love showing off my body and I'm proud of it.

And yeah, as for the fake picks, that comes in all genders, sexual orientations and kink orientations. Some people really need to take a long hard look at themselves in the mirror.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 27

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/11/2005 10:02:53 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Why would a Domme not send a nude photo of herself? I've never sent a total nude but some erotic half nudes to boys I've gotten closer too.

- LA

Yes, LA, but that's the point, isn't it? You choose to send pictures to boys you've gotten close to, not to encourage submissive applicants because I know you sure the heck don't need to. lol

Supply and demand being what it is between Dommes and subs, I just think if a submissive online thinks he's found the Domme of his dreams because she responds to his message with nude pictures (in general, not particularly addressed to anthro's situation), he might consider that some things are too good to be true.

Then again, I suppose, he could have just gotten lucky.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 28

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/11/2005 11:01:52 PM

evilvix

Posts: 16
Joined: 1/2/2005
From: Langley
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustaTop

Ask for a web cam session.

That usually ends these games pretty fast.

Now, as a female, that sends me running just about as fast as it would a guy pretending to be female. Why? Cause it goes from, "You're pretty cute," to, "get naked," pretty damn quick. And guess what! No! ^_^

(in reply to JustaTop)

Post #: 29

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/11/2005 11:54:22 PM

JustaTop

Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

But if she's already sending naked pictures?

Think about it.....how is a casual friendly meeting with nothing more than a more of less nilla conversation going to hurt anything? I didn't say it was going to be nude,did I? There ARE such things as a PLATONIC visit,right?

Not everyone out there is an HNG!

You must be meeting the wrong kind of guys!

< Message edited by JustaTop -- 10/11/2005 11:55:30 PM >

(in reply to evilvix)

Post #: 30

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/12/2005 12:08:28 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: evilvix

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustaTop

Ask for a web cam session.

That usually ends these games pretty fast.

Now, as a female, that sends me running just about as fast as it would a guy pretending to be female. Why? Cause it goes from, "You're pretty cute," to, "get naked," pretty damn quick. And guess what! No! ^_^

That kind of request would put me on my guard too, but mainly I see people who "want to go to webcam" as likely to be cyber-only and I'm not interested in that. I'm not even interested in getting one

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to evilvix)

Post #: 31

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/12/2005 6:14:20 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

I'm also of the school of thought that not many Dommes would send out naked pics to someone they have just started chatting to...... I'm wary of sending any pics until I have at least met someone as know of too many who have had pics used after sending without their permission which may have happened here.

Anthro...from reading your posts on the board I would take you as being caring and genuine in your wanting to warn someone if their pics are being sent out without knowledge... Its a tough call as you could end up the one getting backlash from it so no easy answer I think. You have to follow what feels right for you after weighing up what may happen if you do contact the work address you have.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to anthrosub)

Post #: 32

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/12/2005 6:17:56 AM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

LA, I always enjoying reading your posts and opinions, even when contrary to my own.

Actually, especially when contrary to my own!

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
I have to say, and I'm not aiming this to you specifically, but I'm getting a little tired of Dommes pulling rank around here thinking they can come and dominate the men who post simply because they identify as submissive. I can understand telling a wanker to go fly a kite but to be honest, there is no reason to constantly harp on someone like Anthro who is a valued member of this online community.

I understand your point, and also want to point out that I did not "Dom" him just by writing my opinion. Also, I don't play a "harp."

If that's anyone's perception of my words, I can let you know that wasn't my intent. I post how I feel, and if possible, try to put a light hearted spin on it. I don't pull punches, but it's not my intent to knock someone down either, unless it's my dummy karate partner.

With still trying to remain on topic, how many women have been accused of being "MEN" after they have rejected someone? To be rejected, and then put so much thought into the reasons behind it, is not productive (in my opinion). I "do" only see the reanalyzing of the situation as hurtful and a waste of time. But...I will also accept your advice to refrain from being a party to it, or any discussion related to it. Not my kinda party anyway.

quote:

Keep on posting Anthro!

By all means! EVERYONE has a right to post their opinion, as long as it's within the sites guidelines. My point was that sometimes it's what we wanna hear, and sometimes it's not.

K

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 33

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/12/2005 6:48:37 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

With still trying to remain on topic, how many women have been accused of being "MEN" after they have rejected someone?

I've never been accused of being a man.
I've been called many things, but never a man.

M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)

Post #: 34

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/12/2005 6:41:52 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

I do understand why anthro is bringing this up from a different standpoint.
I have had several boys talk to Me about the feeling that they are getting taken for a ride by other males on the internet. I don't relate to it, personally, but it is one reason why I am always ok with speaking on the phone in a rather quick manner. I know there are ways to trick on the phone also, and ways to even fool someone on webcam.

I'm pretty much the opposite. I don't do phone verifications after some awkward "one-handed" conversations. (And, of course, every submissive tells me they don't do that.) If I'm interested in somebody, I want to meet them, in the flesh, so to speak. They can hear my voice when I call, and verify that I'm coming the day of the meeting.

I agree that it's unlikely that a female Domme will be sending nude photos of herself (thus fulfilling every submissive's dream lol). But I have known women who send nude photos, not of themselves, but of the body they wish they had, to get the acclaim they want...and then "vanish" because they can't live up to the virtual image they've presented.

While I always enjoy meeting a boy as quickly as possible, since I seek slaves for a 24/7 TPE live-in dynamic, I am often contacted by submissives who are not anywhere close to My area of the country. Therefore, after a few reasonable email exchanges, I am not hesitant to move to the telephone. It is easier, and I really don't like online chat. I have also found it to be more beneficial to speak with a boy on the telephone before arranging a meeting IRW. When I have broken My own rule, I am usually stood up. hmmmmm....So I do the math. As to the "awkward, one-handed conversations", since I do not chat, if a boy is using one hand to type while sending Me an email, I probably won''t be responding to that email (yes, I can tell!), and if he doesn't have both hands free while on the phone with Me, I will also realize that very quickly. So I don't worry about it.
Like LA, I would be more likely to send out a provocative photo to someone I knew better. Certainly not in the first email exchange. That said, the most provocative photo I have is already posted on this site, so it becomes a moot point for Me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FTopinMichigan

With still trying to remain on topic, how many women have been accused of being "MEN" after they have rejected someone?

I have never, to My recollection, been accused of being a man. I have been accused of many other things, including being a fake... *S*...but never a man. Maybe that is because I am willing to answer email, speak on the phone, and arrange a personal meeting. *shrug*

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 35

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/12/2005 6:44:12 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

quote:

Why would a Domme not send a nude photo of herself? I've never sent a total nude but some erotic half nudes to boys I've gotten closer too.

Milady A.-

Not all are as lovely as yourself-

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 36

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/12/2005 7:18:25 PM

JustaTop

Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

Believe it or not John,I have used a web cam with no intention of scening whatsoever.

Maybe I am just odd-but not everything is about sex to me.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 37

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/12/2005 8:32:47 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

I have never, to My recollection, been accused of being a man. I have been accused of many other things, including being a fake... *S*...but never a man. Maybe that is because I am willing to answer email, speak on the phone, and arrange a personal meeting. *shrug*

So far for me not a man and not a fake...though they can creatively come up with other things when they're disappointed.

Of course now I've probably jinxed myself.

< Message edited by Misstoyou -- 10/12/2005 8:33:55 PM >

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 38

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/12/2005 9:04:43 PM

kimmypuss

Posts: 47
Joined: 9/21/2005
Status: offline

I'd like to say first of all - sending nude pix is NOT an indication that she's some guy, faking it. She may just want to put her best...foot...forward.
:)

Giving out all that personal, traceable info raises a bigger red flag to me.
At the very least, it indicates someone who is reckless, not thinking straight, either someone brand new to the internet or so completely blase they don't give a hoot.
Either way, it doesn't feel right.
And - that could all be false info, anyway.
Not sure what you mean by the boyfriend angle...

Personally, I wouldn't want to go straight to phone or cam, within a day or two either, as some other people have said.
Even for a non-sex chat.
I want time to breathe and make a decision.

That's one woman's opinion - mine.
:)

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 39

RE: Is She Really a Male? - 10/12/2005 11:09:27 PM

reola1

Posts: 3
Joined: 12/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

I've never been accused of being a man.
I've been called many things, but never a man. M

M -those of us who have been graced know all 121 painfull reasons why. Peace

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 40

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