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RE: have i thought wrong? - 4/30/2008 2:34:20 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
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From: North Carolina, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: teganlee

i always believed Doms/Dommes should be seen as mentors/guides when a submissive/slave seeks answers or help ,have i been thinking the wrong thing? is that not what lifestyle is about to guide learn and grow? .......tegan

While some people choose to mentor another, not every Dominant wants to be a mentor. And, mentoring isn't exclusive to only Dominants. A submissive can be a mentor to someone, also. Dominants aren't the only ones who can give advice. There's a wealth of information that's available from submissive people, too. But, to look at all Dominants as mentors and guides is unrealistic.

What is it that you want to learn about Bondage&Discipline/Sadomasochism? Ask whatever questions you have about it and you will likely get any number of responses. In fact, you will likely get many varied and often conflicting responses, since BD/SM is a very individualized experience and people have very individualized perspectives, ideas, and feelings about it.

What is it that you want to get out of the experience of BD/SM? For me, it has always been simply a very natural way for me to explore and express my sexuality within my intimate relationship and i didn't need a mentor or guide to help me through my experience. For me, BD/SM isn't a lifestyle, it's just one element of my life, an important one, that allows me to enjoy my intimate relationship to its fullest extent.

But, if you're looking for a mentor, ask and you can probably find one. Post your questions on this site and i'm sure you will get answers, even if they aren't the answers you're looking for. Oh, and criticism comes with the territory, so having a thick skin is helpful, too.

joy
Owned servant of Master David

(in reply to teganlee)

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Post #: 61

RE: have i thought wrong? - 5/1/2008 6:21:52 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
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quote:

ORIGINAL: teganlee

smiles and greets A/all , being new to posting on here , i posted a question on the ask sub/slaves about is there hope.. in doing so because my profile is new on here one of the first replies was more like a lecture than advice ,now being in the lifestyle for just ove r5 yrs i always believed Doms/Dommes should be seen as mentors/guides when a submissive/slave seeks answers or help ,have i been thinking the wrong thing? is that not what lifestyle is about to guide learn and grow? .......tegan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLw7KtC-3b0

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Post #: 62

RE: have i thought wrong? - 5/1/2008 6:29:18 AM

Sirandlil1

Posts: 272
Joined: 8/15/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

The problem with stupid people is they just don't get clued in unless you hit them with a clueby4.

Now that is funny

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Post #: 63

RE: have i thought wrong? - 5/2/2008 5:52:11 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: teganlee

smiles and greets A/all , being new to posting on here , i posted a question on the ask sub/slaves about is there hope.. in doing so because my profile is new on here one of the first replies was more like a lecture than advice ,now being in the lifestyle for just ove r5 yrs i always believed Doms/Dommes should be seen as mentors/guides when a submissive/slave seeks answers or help ,have i been thinking the wrong thing? is that not what lifestyle is about to guide learn and grow? .......tegan

I'm going back to the OP, so there won't be any confusion.

The simple answer, as some others have already pointed out is, yes, you thought wrong. My being a Dominant woman in no way impacts the idea that I am required to answer every question, provide every lesson, or assist every person who needs help. That's a lot of responsibility and a huge time investment for anyone, wouldn't you think? That they would have to take every new sub under their wing? Especially if you consider just how many folks stumble across a message board.

I'm the first person to admit that this changes a bit if I know someone personally or see them in the real world, rather than the cyber one. That may sound cynical to you, and it very well might be, but it is a factor for Me. *OR* I might be more apt to be willing to help if it's a name that I recognize. *OR* If a particular topic is a common interest.

As to that other mini debate going here, I'm sure there are quite a few folks here on CM that have the opinion that I do happen to be rude. C'est la vie. I also happen to think there are a number of folks who tend to think I give My honest opinion on a lot of things, sans bullshit.

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Post #: 64

RE: have i thought wrong? - 7/22/2008 2:43:08 AM

Canningorfisting

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/29/2008
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Thank you Herlord, most idiots are anonamous, which makes them so dangerous, when we see you comming we will know who and what where dealing with, sooo once again pardner, thankyou.

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Post #: 65

RE: have i thought wrong? - 7/22/2008 3:00:16 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

quote:

ORIGINAL: teganlee

smiles and greets A/all , being new to posting on here , i posted a question on the ask sub/slaves about is there hope.. in doing so because my profile is new on here one of the first replies was more like a lecture than advice ,now being in the lifestyle for just ove r5 yrs i always believed Doms/Dommes should be seen as mentors/guides when a submissive/slave seeks answers or help ,have i been thinking the wrong thing? is that not what lifestyle is about to guide learn and grow? .......tegan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLw7KtC-3b0

"This video has been removed by the user"

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Post #: 66

RE: have i thought wrong? - 7/22/2008 3:06:58 AM

Allondra

Posts: 68
Joined: 7/12/2008
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Canning or fisting? OMG. I never thought of canning submissives before.... Basement shelves full of gleaming jars of preserved submissives, some sweet, some sour -- wow. I think I have a new fetish.

Thanks, dude!

Oh, and edited to add a response to the OP: yes, you thought wrong.

< Message edited by Allondra -- 7/22/2008 3:54:40 AM >

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Post #: 67

RE: have i thought wrong? - 7/22/2008 8:09:38 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: teganlee
i always believed Doms/Dommes should be seen as mentors/guides when a submissive/slave seeks answers or help

Well, you've made two assumptions. 1) That everyone who says that they're the D type really is and 2) you're assuming that everyone views D/s the way you do. You're also trying to put someone you don't know into a role when they have no committment to you.

And as someone else said...submissives are a good resource and personally I think submissives make good mentors to other submissives.

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RE: have i thought wrong? - 7/22/2008 8:14:40 AM

RedMagic1

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Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I think submissives make good mentors to other submissives.

I think submissives make good mentors to Doms. That is, if I qualify as a Dom.......

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Post #: 69

RE: have i thought wrong? - 7/22/2008 9:16:27 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLw7KtC-3b0

"This video has been removed by the user"

That's because someone resurrected this thread from 2 months or so ago just to say "I agree".

Cali

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Post #: 70

RE: have i thought wrong? - 7/22/2008 9:22:03 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLw7KtC-3b0

"This video has been removed by the user"

That's because someone resurrected this thread from 2 months or so ago just to say "I agree".

Cali

Ah cool, thanks for that ... I rarely have the time to plough through the reams of posts (in fact I never do), so I tend to just click on ones that pop up in the sidebar ... I'll learn to check the dates from here on in.

Just call me The Re-animator!

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Post #: 71

RE: have i thought wrong? - 7/22/2008 9:46:31 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
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Just because somebody is DOM don't expect for them to be a well rounded honest tour guide to your life. In fact some are manipulative creatures that will guide somebody according to thier own best interests and not yours. Hello, please smell the coffee. Not all Doms follow some ethical set in stone code. There is a lot of diversity in this lifestyle, perhaps more then you realize.

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Post #: 72

RE: have i thought wrong? - 7/22/2008 11:15:12 AM

SurrenderForMe

Posts: 229
Joined: 3/11/2005
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Your thinking has me all over the place. I'm just going to address the part that is a consistent worry. The scene is a microcosm of society. It has its full share of every type of good and bad people. Yes there are people who want to help. There are also, hateful, dangerous, insane, pick a word. There are also, kind, caring, loving, pick a word. There are also clueless, uninformed, informed, experienced, inexprerienced, pick a word. Now combine a set.

For example:
Helpful clueless.
Dangerous uninformed
Dangerous informed
Helpful inexperienced.
Helpful experienced.

I hope that was clear.

In the end, you have to apply your own judgement. You have to think and protect yourself.

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Post #: 73