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RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 4/30/2008 7:59:13 PM

Roselaure

Posts: 672
Joined: 4/12/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

Short, fast answer.

Yes...get the fuck out. Or stop whining like a little bitch.

I think I love you.

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RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 4/30/2008 8:55:45 PM

tigerstyle

Posts: 168
Joined: 5/25/2005
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The lifestyle is fucked up, maaaaa-a-a-aaaa-aan.

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Post #: 82

RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/1/2008 5:28:42 AM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
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From: Atlanta, GA
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<---- shuffling feet. awwww, shucks.

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Post #: 83

RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/1/2008 6:22:47 AM

pettingdragons

Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

Im not trying to be offensive, but it seems to me that there is a higher percentage of fucked up people in this lifestyle.

this isnt the first "pitty party" post you have written.....just who is fucked up here???....

out of hundreds of "lifestylers" i know maybe two i would consider "fucked up" the rest are better then the "non Lifesylers"....they have a better sense of who they are and what they want....or are at least willing to try and figure it out along the way......thats part of the process of any life....

pettingdragons
**Master Dragons considered slave**

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RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/1/2008 6:25:17 AM

Sirandlil1

Posts: 272
Joined: 8/15/2007
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well we have beaten to death this horse....not much more to say

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Post #: 85

RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/1/2008 3:15:53 PM

youngsubgeoff

Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
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Ive realized that I cannot clean up the entire BDSM scene, but I can help stop these things from happening in CYPRUS. I will never allow this to happen in my group, Could it happen? yes. Will it be tolerated. Not while Im around.

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RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/1/2008 3:26:16 PM

Leatherist

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You really do have delusions of granduer-don't you think you might do better trying the true dom routine?

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RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/1/2008 3:53:57 PM

youngsubgeoff

Posts: 900
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ok, so I have one bad week and everyone is on my back? Whatever.

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RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/1/2008 3:58:37 PM

Poetryinpain

Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

Geoff

I'm sure Mod 11 will remove your last post, but let me just say this.

There are a lot of serious, well-thought-out posts on this thread. Why didn't you read them and take them to heart and think about what was said in them instead of flying off the handle because some posters took you to task for your attitude?

Seriously, young man, you need to grow up and to grow a thicker skin. You see, vanilla people are no kinder than BDSM folk. They are no ruder. They are no wiser. They are no more foolish. They are human beings - period. And from what I've seen here, you are not going to have an easier time 'out there' than you are ppearing to have 'in here.'

pip, being a 'Dutch Aunt'

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RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/1/2008 4:10:52 PM

ModeratorEleven

Posts: 2007
Joined: 8/14/2005
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Ok folks, it's time to settle down here.

XI

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Post #: 90

RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/1/2008 4:26:03 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

Ive realized that I cannot clean up the entire BDSM scene, but I can help stop these things from happening in CYPRUS. I will never allow this to happen in my group, Could it happen? yes. Will it be tolerated. Not while Im around.

May I ask are you going to extend this control into the UN Green Line sector or simply insist that they appoint a Special Envoy to Kink? What about the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus? Do they fall into your zone of command or are you limiting yourself just to the Republic of Cyprus?

Dude, I think this was settled in "Bruce, Almighty." Don't take on jobs you don't have a prayer of handling. I've got some experience in being a "community leader" and I know how hard it is just to do the easy stuff.

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RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/1/2008 4:28:21 PM

AllietheKitten

Posts: 115
Joined: 7/10/2006
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Wow-there are so not-so-nice responses in this thread....
As for me-I really don't know what you are talking about, as I have not seen anyone robbed or kill themselves as a result of BDSM. But I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you have seen these things and it's disturbed you enough for you to consider the moral implications of staying in a lifestyle that may or many not have caused these things to happen.

However, what I will do contend is that this "lifestyle" causes *anything*. Its not a group-not a church or a membership with strict rules of conduct. That's not to say that there aren't local groups or clubs with rules of conduct or that some things are not expected overall (like subs and Doms acting in certain ways). However, overall the lifestyle is a diverse group of people, connected over the internet that may have no more in common then a shared kink. I have no power to tell someone else that they aren't a "real Dom" or they are practicing "wrong"---I can't control what they do. There is literally no way for the "lifestyle" collectively to enforce a code of conduct.

In other words, I don't think its the "lifestyle" that is creating the problem. Its the ones who do the abusing-they do what they do-not because the lifestyle exists (although I would concede that it may provide them with a smokescreen for a little while) but because they are sick. I think that-because of its sexual and thrilling nature-BDSM will attract some people that will allow themselves to be abused and some people that will be only too happy to oblige.

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RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/1/2008 4:56:46 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

Ive realized that I cannot clean up the entire BDSM scene,

YEAH!!! That's a good thing to realize. And, you know what? It's okay to not be able to save the whole world. It's enough to just make a positive impact on the part of the world (no matter how small it is) that you are involved in.

quote:

but I can help stop these things from happening in CYPRUS. I will never allow this to happen in my group, Could it happen? yes. Will it be tolerated. Not while Im around.

Now, you sound like a man with a plan of action, rather than just another complainer. If you believe in something and care about it and enjoy it then why leave it? Where you see something that needs fixing, see what you can do to get it fixed. Just be careful not to tread on someone else's right to enjoy their part of the world the way that they like, even if it isn't what you like.

joy
Owned servant of Master David

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Post #: 93

RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/1/2008 5:10:57 PM

stella41b

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Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
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quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

Ive realized that I cannot clean up the entire BDSM scene, but I can help stop these things from happening in CYPRUS. I will never allow this to happen in my group, Could it happen? yes. Will it be tolerated. Not while Im around.

Have you ever thought of becoming a politician? These are people who talk about what they're going to do.

Why make the announcement? Why not just go ahead and do what you have in mind?

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RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/1/2008 10:11:45 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
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aweeee does this mean yer staying and i do not get all your bdsm toys ?

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Post #: 95

RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/1/2008 11:00:16 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

Is there some part of this lifestlye that appeals to the insane? Does the BDSM community at large sort of look the other way when these things happen? Im not saying these things dont happen in the vanilla world, but they seem to happen more often and to a more extreme degree in the lifestyle.

Again, the questions flood my mind. Do I want to be involved with that? Do I want to condone that?

Looks like no sleep again tonight...

This page left blank.

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 5/1/2008 11:01:50 PM >

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RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/2/2008 4:16:15 AM

DChammer

Posts: 59
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: DC
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Geoff,

You just need to get out of Akron is all. I am depressed everytime I go back there.

Seriously, rather than take the "i am out of here" tact, you could get more involved in your local community and make it better. I think one of the groups for NEO is "purple rose". I can't recall how broad they are in terms of membership, but get in there and help out. If "purple rose" is not functional, I am sure someone on this board has a recommendation for an active group. Have those munches and talk to the people in your area that care. You will find the good.

"Long live The Bucket!"

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RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/3/2008 1:05:06 AM

SummerWind

Posts: 314
Joined: 7/4/2007
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You can check out......but you can never leave....

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RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/3/2008 1:09:05 AM

mnottertail

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No time to quote U2:

Hello; hello,
I'm at a place called vertigo--------------

Bono

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RE: seriously considering leaving the lifestyle - 5/3/2008 7:25:43 AM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
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I've been into BDSM since I was a kid. I didn't really find out about the existence of a "community" until I got out of my high school and town in the middle of corn and beanfeilds and on my own. That was about 1980-82. Once away from the repressive enviorment, I began to really experiment with my sexuality, and eventually helped start one of Denver's early play party groups along with a small circle of good friends.

In the near 25 years I've spent "in the community" I've met tons of people who were deeply fucked up. I've also met a great many folk who just didn't fit in with mainstream society, and were just now (amidst the whips and ropes) finding their place.
During my time with the group, I watched plenty of marriages and relationships end. I also saw an nearly equal number begin, and many of those relationships continue to this day. (my own included) During the time of Ammendment #2, and the height of the AIDS epidemic, it seemed like I was going to political rallys one week, and a funeral the next, for years on end. (See how much THAT will burn you out sometime! On second thought I take that back... I don't wish that on anyone.)

BDSM is just a lifestyle. You're right about that. But no matter how you "style your life" it's going to continue to be just that... a life. Packed with all the difficult people, all the lies, all the players and all the dangers of disease, complications and broken hearts. There will be cars to fix, bills to pay, and pets to take to the vet. You and your partners will argue from time to time. You're going to go through some very nasty breakups on occasion.

But you will also meet some wonderful people. People who will stand by you. People who will teach you things (and not just about how to swing a flogger... we're talking about life in general here.)

BDSM isn't a utopia. Never was. But then, neither is anything in life.

But the great thing about life? You actually have one!

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