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language and respect - 5/4/2008 6:16:34 PM   
Smythe


Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
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Over the past couple of days I've read several posts from men who have used what I consider harsh language when referring to women in general or women they know. i.e. "he can do whatever he wants to his own bitches" and something with the c word which I don't really like to see outside of Henry Fielding and 18th century novels.

Should women be referred to in this way? Is it OK for submissive women and not Dommes? Why don't women use similar language when referring to men (or maybe they do) ? Are standards different on a BDSM board than they would be in other places?

I felt kind of offended but I am old fashioned about language. What do others think?

Smythe



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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 6:19:24 PM   
HornyToadsMI


Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		In O/our relationship, Toad does not use language like that. Dont get me wrong, W/we both can swear like sailors, but out of respect, W/we dont treat each other that way.  But, then again, W/we are not into humiliation. 

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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 6:20:42 PM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline 		I wasn't offended at all.

Curiously, are you a female or are you a male that feels the need to protect and honor defenseless women? ( meant in a non-offensive way, of course )

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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 6:20:55 PM   
Lumus


Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline 		Language is never the issue.

Translation, on the other hand...



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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 6:21:04 PM   
HerLord


Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline 		Fast Reply.
More with the shoulds and shouldn'ts of the rule committee.

I won't speak for any one else, but, *I* SHOULD do whatever the hell I feel like within the context of MY relationship. If it offends those I am with... well it wouldn't or they wouldn't be with me.

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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 6:24:55 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Personally, I have a worse mouth than many men I know... I blame the Army I think for that one. But, I'll be the first to fly off the handle if someone directs insults at me when they don't even know me. It's even worse if they happen to patronize me, and THEN call me a c*nt...

I have no tolerance for idiots that can't seem to separate me as a submissive person, from me as a woman... in my eyes, you have to earn the right to call me names... haha.

On the other hand.... my friend is sending me text to "get your fat ass to the gym, ho!"   >.>

Brb, gym.

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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 6:28:31 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		I certainly know Dommes who refer to themselves as bitches... proudly!  It's not just a squish-the-sub thing.

The issue is not what an outsider hears, but the content of the relationship itself.  Words that are harsh when used in hate can build safety and a home when used in affection.

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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 6:29:10 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I have often said to others, mainly dominant males, that they can refer to their property however they'd like, but you refer to mie with respect.
I do not like having Angel or Fox refered to as my bitches, or any other term aside from my pets. That is my choice. If others are OK with having their boys or girls refered to that way then more power to them. There are some men that seem to think it makes them look likea more manly man if they refer to women derisively. I just think it looks petty and hateful, for no good reason. But, then again, while I ahve no problem with using the occasional swear word ( I am a NYer, after all) I think people who cannot manage a sentence or two without resorting to that sort of language make themselves look bad in general.

My 2 cents
DV


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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 6:31:17 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe


Over the past couple of days I've read several posts from men who have used what I consider harsh language when referring to women in general or women they know. i.e. "he can do whatever he wants to his own bitches" and something with the c word which I don't really like to see outside of Henry Fielding and 18th century novels.

Should women be referred to in this way? Is it OK for submissive women and not Dommes? Why don't women use similar language when referring to men (or maybe they do) ? Are standards different on a BDSM board than they would be in other places?

I felt kind of offended but I am old fashioned about language. What do others think?

Smythe




Depends on who's using the names.

If my ex calls me a bitch, I thank him and show him the door.

Some random man calls me a cunt, he ceases to exist in my world.

m'Lord calls me what ever he wishes and it's HOTT!

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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 6:32:42 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I consider myself a Bitch at times... in fact, sometimes there are no reprimands if my pet uses the word directed at me (depending on the circumstances) -in fact, usually I'll smile and say, "that's MISS Bitch to you!"

But there is a time and a place for everything, and if I am not in a lighthearted, teasing mood, he wouldn't consider using it.

I have also refered to him as "My bitch", but usually just call him a puppy if I am driving the D/s point home. 

Lady Jag

< Message edited by PsyVamp -- 5/4/2008 6:34:09 PM >

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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 6:35:53 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		~fast reply~

I am particularly fond of "slut" and "cunt" when used as pet names. ~shrug~

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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 6:42:25 PM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		~I~ will call my girl whatever I want. someone else calls my girl a cunt or slut or whatever? then they have to answer to me, and they wont like me much...

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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 6:47:01 PM   
hopelesslyInvo


Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline 		i should know better than to get involved with this topic again, but to paraphrase someone awesome, "words are not what makes discourse unpleasant or distasteful.  the message is the message.".

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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 6:50:51 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		I personally do not like seeing the use of derogatory  terms here in the forums when referring to women, subs(males and female) in general excluding posts where the discussion is about humilation....to me when I see  or hear a dom use when referring to women in general   it becomes a red flag  indicating to me that do not respect females and view them as beneath them...not the type of person I would want to be involved with.,to me they are neaderthals .

When used in humiliation play with your partner used in a loving manner it is  a whole different story 

< Message edited by Maya2001 -- 5/4/2008 6:52:29 PM >

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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 6:52:10 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I personally don't care. I have bigger things to worry about than the way people choose to type online.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe



I felt kind of offended but I am old fashioned about language. What do others think?

Smythe



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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 7:00:57 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I do not care to see men refer to women in general in a derogatory manner. 

Personally, I AM a bitch and damned proud of it.  But if the wrong person calls me that in a disrespectful way, I'm likely to ask them if they would like to find out just how fast I can shover their own arm up their ass.


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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 8:02:41 PM   
Smythe


Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

I wasn't offended at all.

Curiously, are you a female or are you a male that feels the need to protect and honor defenseless women? ( meant in a non-offensive way, of course )


Well, as far as language and rude names, you have a kind of pre-emptive strike going on with your handle :) So, not surprised that you do not take offense.

Anyway, I am a Fem Domme; why do you think that would make a difference?

Smythe


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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 8:06:14 PM   
Smythe


Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HerLord

Fast Reply.
More with the shoulds and shouldn'ts of the rule committee.

I won't speak for any one else, but, *I* SHOULD do whatever the hell I feel like within the context of MY relationship. If it offends those I am with... well it wouldn't or they wouldn't be with me.


No, Her lord, you have mistaken my intent. I am not making rules, nor am I interested in doing so. I am simply asking what other people think. I think that is one of the points of a message board, no?

Smythe



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Do not consider painful what is good for you.
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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 8:10:51 PM   
Smythe


Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

I personally don't care. I have bigger things to worry about than the way people choose to type online.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe



I felt kind of offended but I am old fashioned about language. What do others think?

Smythe





Touchy crowd :) Pls see my reply to someone else who felt as though I was telling them what to do.
Smythe



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Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

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RE: language and respect - 5/4/2008 8:29:24 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		I find it's a good thing when people use derogatory terms for others they don't know. It saves me the time I might have spent thinking that would be someone I'd listen to.

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