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Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 2:07:45 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		Where has Courtesy Gone?

When I came to this lifestyle about 20 years ago, there was a spoken and unspoken code of courtesy to A/all. When we were able to go on line the courtesy factor was still there for several years,. Most D/s folks were proud of that.

No as I read journals from primarely subs, I find a growing indication of insult and assumed privledge that did not exist 5 years ago.

any thoughts?

CP
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 3:02:38 PM   
MasterBenedict


Posts: 309
Status: offline 		Only that you're absolutely correct
MB

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RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 3:27:23 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Where has Courtesy Gone?

When I came to this lifestyle about 20 years ago, there was a spoken and unspoken code of courtesy to A/all. When we were able to go on line the courtesy factor was still there for several years,. Most D/s folks were proud of that.

No as I read journals from primarely subs, I find a growing indication of insult and assumed privledge that did not exist 5 years ago.

any thoughts?

CP


CP, I have many thoughts... most of which would get me lynched here... suffice it to say... I agree with you and I remember that time period as well.

Jewel

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RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 3:44:50 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

I find a growing indication of insult and assumed privledge


Examples?

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
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RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 3:45:47 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Where has Courtesy Gone?

When I came to this lifestyle about 20 years ago, there was a spoken and unspoken code of courtesy to A/all. When we were able to go on line the courtesy factor was still there for several years,. Most D/s folks were proud of that.

No as I read journals from primarely subs, I find a growing indication of insult and assumed privledge that did not exist 5 years ago.

any thoughts?

CP


I've been around for a while and I can't really say there's much difference. There were idiots before and there are idiots now. There were people back then who thought claiming a title entitled them to respect and deference and that type is still around too. "Back then" people did learn a bit faster since we were face to face and one could not repair a damaged reputation by changing an email address.

One thing we didnt have was spelling with upper and lowercase. That was pretty much a development of the online scene.



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(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 3:55:57 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		i agree with You as well. over the years i have seen more and more insulting kiss my butt additudes. Where has Common courtesy - Good manners gone.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 4:11:38 PM   
harmony3709


Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Where has Courtesy Gone?

When I came to this lifestyle about 20 years ago, there was a spoken and unspoken code of courtesy to A/all. When we were able to go on line the courtesy factor was still there for several years,. Most D/s folks were proud of that.

No as I read journals from primarely subs, I find a growing indication of insult and assumed privledge that did not exist 5 years ago.

any thoughts?

CP


As I read this, I wonder in what context you are referring regarding this lapse of manners and/or courtesy. Do you mean on message boards such as this, or strictly in the journals that you referred to, or in chat conversations or overall, including both online and real time situations?

As I can't claim the length of time in the lifestyle that you can, I can't speak for whether it has changed or not. I do feel that overall as a society (American society at least), manners and courtesy have not so much disappeared, but seem to have been redefined, and not in a way that I happen to agree with.

But as far as in the lifestyle? Real time I find it no different than any other group of people with a common interest or community. There are some who have good manners and those who don't. There may be some different guidelines or protocols or whatever you want to call it, as in any community of people, but there will probably always be those who choose to show class and grace in their behavior and actions and those who show their lack of it.

Lifestyle sites or otherwise, online is a whole other story with regard to courtesy and manners.

Blessed be,
harmony

(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 4:54:58 PM   
FLButtSlut


Posts: 344
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

No as I read journals from primarely subs, I find a growing indication of insult and assumed privledge that did not exist 5 years ago.

any thoughts?

CP


Exactly what do you mean by "assumed privledge?"

(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 5:03:40 PM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

No as I read journals from primarely subs, I find a growing indication of insult and assumed privledge that did not exist 5 years ago.

any thoughts?


I think they get off on making someone angry or by hurting them without consent. It's their fetish and because it is on-line the person, who might otherwise take a bat to their head, has no real recourse online other than to feed into their game.

Recognise these cowards for the cowards they are, have a little chuckle as you press the block button and carry on.

D (owner of j)

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 7:04:18 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

One thing we didnt have was spelling with upper and lowercase. That was pretty much a development of the online scene.

Wow! When I think of the idiot that Dubya put in the UN when he could have found a master diplomat like you. I was wondering how to question the disparity of a claim of 20 years experience with the A/all spelling when you beat me to it with surgical precision.

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RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 7:12:05 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

quote:

One thing we didnt have was spelling with upper and lowercase. That was pretty much a development of the online scene.

Wow! When I think of the idiot that Dubya put in the UN when he could have found a master diplomat like you. I was wondering how to question the disparity of a claim of 20 years experience with the A/all spelling when you beat me to it with surgical precision.


I do wish I could have been in the UN so I could have stood up after Colin Powell's speech and said, "Thank you for the information about all those WMDs. As you may know we have inspection teams in Iraq that can go pretty much whereever they want. Since you tell us you know where all these things are, if you could just give us the GPS coordinates, we'll have some of our people drop by and take them into custody."

[sigh]

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RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 7:16:44 PM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Where has Courtesy Gone?

When I came to this lifestyle about 20 years ago, there was a spoken and unspoken code of courtesy to A/all. When we were able to go on line the courtesy factor was still there for several years,. Most D/s folks were proud of that.

No as I read journals from primarely subs, I find a growing indication of insult and assumed privledge that did not exist 5 years ago.

any thoughts?


For someone who came into the lifestyle 20 years ago, I'm very surprised to see the A/a kind of thing. Most of us who came into the scene pre- or on the cusp of the internet explosion tend to find S/speak a bit trite.

Common courtesy is still here, alive and well and in your local scene for the most part. Surely as someone active, you must see it in your dealings with your fellow kinksters around your area.

For your information, I don't owe you or anyone else here any courtesies regardless how I identify myself for BDSM purposes. You don't own me, I don't know you, and what you say about yourself is mearly conjecture unless you can prove to be who you say you are.

Your 20 years in the lifestyle and a quarter won't get you a cup of coffee around here. Adding insult to injury vis a vis this 'No one's respecting me' post drops your stock even further.

If you are here to exchange ideas, banter a bit, and share your experience, then by all means pull up a chair and join in. If you are here to throw out your chest, puff out your feathers and try to be 'cock of the walk' it's just not going to work. There are tons of Doms like that around here being ignored at meteoric rates.

If you are of the ilk that subs have no rights, should not have opinions and have assumed some priveledge that you think is out of line, then you are not going to be successful around these parts, I can tell you that.

If you want to be taken seriously, say something of substance. If all you want to do is whine about the impertinent subbies, you'll be rather lonely.

Lily

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(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 8:02:00 PM   
FLButtSlut


Posts: 344
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

For your information, I don't owe you or anyone else here any courtesies regardless how I identify myself for BDSM purposes. You don't own me, I don't know you, and what you say about yourself is mearly conjecture unless you can prove to be who you say you are.

If you are of the ilk that subs have no rights, should not have opinions and have assumed some priveledge that you think is out of line, then you are not going to be successful around these parts, I can tell you that.

Lily


I was waiting for an answer from the OP, but figuring that "assumed privlidges" meant that we all weren't bowing down to him or, God forbid, believe we have a choice in who we speak to or serve.

At least I know I'm not alone in that thought. Thanks Lily.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 8:09:57 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FLButtSlut


quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

For your information, I don't owe you or anyone else here any courtesies regardless how I identify myself for BDSM purposes. You don't own me, I don't know you, and what you say about yourself is mearly conjecture unless you can prove to be who you say you are.

If you are of the ilk that subs have no rights, should not have opinions and have assumed some priveledge that you think is out of line, then you are not going to be successful around these parts, I can tell you that.

Lily


I was waiting for an answer from the OP, but figuring that "assumed privlidges" meant that we all weren't bowing down to him or, God forbid, believe we have a choice in who we speak to or serve.

At least I know I'm not alone in that thought. Thanks Lily.



Yes, the rudeness level of submissives has risen in direct porportion with the number of Dominants that IM us with opening lines like "On your knees bitch" or the ones that tell us that we have to call him "sir" when he hasn't earned it or the ones that tell us that we're not "true submissive". If you think the discourtesy and disrespect is one sided, you're very wrong. Pot meet kettle.

If you treat me with respect, I will treat you with respect. Simple as that.


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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to FLButtSlut)
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RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 8:13:13 PM   
michaelMI


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I agree. As a submissive, i have been and always shall be polite to the point that i will tell someone if I am interested in chatting with someone or not and that, if someone finds my polite refusal to disengage conversations with them, or anyone for that matter, I can either block them or defer them to my Mistress...or both. That, as far as I am aware, "is" common "courtesy" as far as online goes. As for real life, I would pretty much do the same, except I would be walking away at the time. I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds here. If I have, I apologize to all who read these posts and I shall move on to something else.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 8:14:12 PM   
FLButtSlut


Posts: 344
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		Great new pics Bobbi! What happened to the "happy homemaker" look?

(in reply to OsideGirl)
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RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 8:15:42 PM   
RavenofPK


Posts: 320
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

If you treat me with respect, I will treat you with respect. Simple as that.



It's this line right here that always gets me. I read that as "if you kiss my submissive ass and cowtow to my every need, I will eventually allow you to play with me."

Disgust and cynicism aside for a moment........that same line can, and should be reversed in favor of the dominant side. After all.........isn't the dominant the one who is running the show?? Or is he really only a figurehead in the bdsm society?

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 8:16:43 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I didn't want people to think I actually cook. I took those yesterday. And thank you for the compliment.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 10/16/2005 8:17:14 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 8:32:17 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I will just say that I take all personal responsibility for all the wrongdoings and complete downfall of the scene in my own lifetime. Please send all complaints and greivances directly to me and they will be addressed accordingly. I'm so sorry for the downfall, I will do my best to make sure it goes uphill from here.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: Where has Courtesy Gone - 10/16/2005 8:35:55 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenofPK
It's this line right here that always gets me. I read that as "if you kiss my submissive ass and cowtow to my every need, I will eventually allow you to play with me."



I wonder where you get that.

To me, it's means exactly what it says. If one treats me as a human being, with the same courtesy that you'd give any human being, I will do the same.

If one calls me names, and treat me differently than you'd treat another human being because of my belonging to my partner, then I will probably put that person on ignore. I don't do insults, they aren't my style, but I don't think that it is my job to sit and accept insults from someone because of my orrientation.

Many who say that they require respect to give request are saying nothing about play, nor about 'kissing ass.' I don't think expecting to be called by one's name, instead of "slut" or not being given orders by anyone except people one's owner has spesifically designated is "kissing ass.' To me, that's expecting to be treated as another human being. Nor is it, to me, about needs.

I have never used a line like that with a partner. My parnters aren't -expected- to treat me with respect. Once I'm theirs, I'm theirs. However, other people? I'm not theirs. My partners haven't given me to them. I expect to be treated like that individual would treat anyone else. If I'm not treated that way, it's in my right to ignore the person.



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(in reply to RavenofPK)
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