RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 10:48:14 AM

Poetryinpain

Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

Back in 1933, my dad asked my mother to marry him. They were on their second date. They were secretly engaged for a year and then publicly engaged for a year, followed by 55 years of marriage. Dad wooed Mother for those whole 57 years. I remember many little gifts for no reason - one had a gift card that read Happy October 16. After Mother passed, we found little love letters and notes from Dad tucked away all over the house.

It has spoiled me - I want that!

And I fear it was my generation that, in the 80's glorified the idea of casual sex - one-night-stands, friends with benefits, etc. With the drop in the wooing rate came a rise in the divorce rate. If people don't take the time to get to know one another (courtship or wooing), they sometimes find out after the ceremony that they didn't really fit together after all.

pip, where is my wooer?

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to MissEnchanted)

Post #: 21

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 10:53:01 AM

phoenixinchains

Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline

It would seem that a physical relationship was the great defining mark of cheating to them.

_____________________________

OWNED BY CHAOSFORGE.
purrfectly happy slave of Chaosforge.

http://www.myspace.com/phoenixofchaosforge
devotee of CM gods and mods

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 22

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 11:35:52 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

sends pip a little hug.

(in reply to phoenixinchains)

Post #: 23

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 11:48:46 AM

MissEnchanted

Posts: 510
Status: offline

Good on you too subtee...

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 24

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 11:57:00 AM

FRSguy

Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

Woman dont have the patience for it anymore and they dont react very well to being flirted with I know you dont believe this however its been my experiece more so in my vanilla years that woman just dont know how to be engaged into casual / sexual / romantic conversation and just taking it as is... they are pretty piss poor for the most part in taking a compliment. That is just my experience though and it certainly does not apply to all woman... Sometimes its fun just to have fun and not allways go for a fuck comming out of the gate... Women get so guarded that you cant have any fun at all sometimes.

(in reply to MissEnchanted)

Post #: 25

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 11:59:58 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

I feel that it has become a lost art, and that wooing to some people might as well be a Korean vacuum cleaner.

Couldn't really say it any better. What I wouldn't give for a good wooing....sigh.

(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 26

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 12:02:56 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

The Art of Courting or Wooing is not Lost it is confused.

Everyone thinks it's something the other person has to do. The reason why it is a Dying art form is because of those who abuse the idea for personal gain.

Talking with many vanilla friends I asked them what thier biggest issue with dating was. Many different answers were given but for the most part all have varying degrees of a double standard that although not verbaly stated was obviously apparent.

It seems that girls would not commit to them however expected them to continue taking them out and if the guy wanted to be equal and fair and go dutch they just never saw them again. To spell it out most guys complain that the Girl wants them to drop the cash but wouldn't agree to be thier girl.

Girls can often be heard complaining that all guys want is sex, Guys will admit they do want the sex. Girls say often say that once the guy gets it he leaves for some other girl, and Guys often complain that the once he has sex with a girl she gets so clingy he feels clausterphobic.

Now does this apply for ALL relationships? NO Not at all, but it paints a picture.

Most people have already decided what a person is going to do before giving the person the ability to actually decide for themselves so even though the outcome COULD be different NO ONE will ever know because no one is given the chance to be different. Guys and Girls are BOTH guilty of this.

The Concept of Courting and Wooing was to let someone know that you were interested in them and ONLY THEM. According to Grandpa (Who lived in a Farm community where courting was EXCPETED) when a boy starts to court a girl he makes his intentions known and the girl decides if she likes the boy and then the courtship begins. The girl accepts no other boys and the boy woos no other girls. They get to know one another and if the father does not object to the courtship this could last for 3 months to a full year at which time the boy would ask the Father for his daughters hand in marriage and then the father of the Boy and the Father of the Girl would talk about what duties the boy would have to both farms and what dowery the girl would bring to the other family.

The Idea of being in contact romantically with more than one woman is what Vagabonds did and they were considered Playboys and were often responsible for getting girls pregnant and leaving them without a Father and should the girls Father be abld to find the Vagabond then you had a Shotgun Wedding which meant it happened FAST and often actually DID have a Shotgun involved cause if the Playboy ran then yes he may be shot by the father and untill the mid 1900's there were no laws that made this illegal and rarely did it ever come before a judge when the laws were broken.

In this day and age people are attempting to get romantically involved with SEVERAL people and then waiting to see who shows the best situation. Falling in love as been replaced with who can do the most for me.

I perfer to court myself but I only court for 30 days and if they cannont commit to me as I am willing to commit to them then if there is no sign of a commitment in the near future I call it off and let the whole Idea go and often when they realize that I am no longer trying to charm them they come to me and ask what happened and I inform them what I was looking for and they they were not ready so I had to move on.

Courting was NEVER ment to be a LONG process because Marriage was something the needed to happen for Financial Reasons Families RELIED on thier offspring to produce funds to maintain peoperty or Produce Labor Hands for working the properties.

However this is just how Grandpa put it your mileage may vary and history may say something different, However Grandpa Lived it and this was the answer he gave me.

Love was something the you built while together not something you waited for to happen and then went with the flow.

People didn't have a Million Profiles to choose from they had Families and Farms in the area.

I don't know if any of this makes sense of not but my point is that often times girls say they want to be romanced but aren't willing to commit to the one romancing them cause they are often looking for the big better deal.

Sure Guys do this too, the point is it isn't only one sided.

Food for thought: When was the last time you went dutch or insisted on going dutch on a Lobster dinner or expensive meal with a Man that you wanted to be serious with and still found him desierable after that?

Guys are JUST AS BAD I KNOW but women aren't much better.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to phoenixinchains)

Post #: 27

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 12:21:35 PM

phoenixinchains

Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

The Concept of Courting and Wooing was to let someone know that you were interested in them and ONLY THEM. According to Grandpa (Who lived in a Farm community where courting was EXCPETED) when a boy starts to court a girl he makes his intentions known and the girl decides if she likes the boy and then the courtship begins. The girl accepts no other boys and the boy woos no other girls. They get to know one another and if the father does not object to the courtship this could last for 3 months to a full year at which time the boy would ask the Father for his daughters hand in marriage and then the father of the Boy and the Father of the Girl would talk about what duties the boy would have to both farms and what dowery the girl would bring to the other family.

Courting was NEVER ment to be a LONG process because Marriage was something the needed to happen for Financial Reasons Families RELIED on thier offspring to produce funds to maintain peoperty or Produce Labor Hands for working the properties.

However this is just how Grandpa put it your mileage may vary and history may say something different, However Grandpa Lived it and this was the answer he gave me.

Steel

Was your grandfather from Arkansas, by chance? We were engaged in the spring, and married that fall. Master did ask my maternal grandfather (leagle guardian) permission to marry me. Both His and my parents agreed He must join the military as there was little other chance for a person of Master then age to earn a living, and yes, i had a dowery.

_____________________________

OWNED BY CHAOSFORGE.
purrfectly happy slave of Chaosforge.

http://www.myspace.com/phoenixofchaosforge
devotee of CM gods and mods

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 28

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 12:30:31 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Now Farm Country Kansas.

But what you said was how it worked the way that Grandpa explained it.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to phoenixinchains)

Post #: 29

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 12:34:31 PM

phoenixinchains

Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline

i find it all very ammusing,,, why am i having an urge to go churn butter...

_____________________________

OWNED BY CHAOSFORGE.
purrfectly happy slave of Chaosforge.

http://www.myspace.com/phoenixofchaosforge
devotee of CM gods and mods

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 30

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 12:39:10 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

I always hated that Grandma Would go to the Anderson Dairy Farms and get Fresh Cream once a month and ,my brothers, my sister, and me would churn fresh butter once a month. Grandma INSISTED on it. You don't say no to Grandma cause she would "Box" your ears which Hurt like hell.

Grandpa was from a small farm town out side of Kansas City Kansas about 75 miles outside of the outer city limits. I have never been there so I don't know which side sorry. Nor do I remember the actual name of the town but Dad went to all of his Schooling in a One room building and graduated of a class of 6 people.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to phoenixinchains)

Post #: 31

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 12:42:36 PM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy

Woman dont have the patience for it anymore and they dont react very well to being flirted with I know you dont believe this however its been my experiece more so in my vanilla years that woman just dont know how to be engaged into casual / sexual / romantic conversation and just taking it as is... they are pretty piss poor for the most part in taking a compliment. That is just my experience though and it certainly does not apply to all woman... Sometimes its fun just to have fun and not allways go for a fuck comming out of the gate... Women get so guarded that you cant have any fun at all sometimes.

Your last sentence seems antithetical to the rest of your comments. If women are so guarded, why wouldn't they appreciate taking the time and engaging in conversation?

That is exactly what I would have said about many men, hence the "on your knees, bitch" kind of communiques. There is a continuum of this type of contact, but the point is mostly the same: I want it now.

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to FRSguy)

Post #: 32

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 12:52:14 PM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

The Art of Courting or Wooing is not Lost it is confused.

Everyone thinks it's something the other person has to do. The reason why it is a Dying art form is because of those who abuse the idea for personal gain.

Would you like a woman to court you? In what way(s)?

quote:

It seems that girls would not commit to them however expected them to continue taking them out and if the guy wanted to be equal and fair and go dutch they just never saw them again. To spell it out most guys complain that the Girl wants them to drop the cash but wouldn't agree to be thier girl.

What about playing the field? That is perhaps more common to a slightly younger era that what you describe, but didn't it work?

quote:

Girls can often be heard complaining that all guys want is sex, Guys will admit they do want the sex. Girls say often say that once the guy gets it he leaves for some other girl, and Guys often complain that the once he has sex with a girl she gets so clingy he feels clausterphobic.

To further this stereotype, there are plenty of girls who want sex too, but are they then not "girlfriend material?"

quote:

I perfer to court myself but I only court for 30 days and if they cannont commit to me as I am willing to commit to them then if there is no sign of a commitment in the near future I call it off and let the whole Idea go and often when they realize that I am no longer trying to charm them they come to me and ask what happened and I inform them what I was looking for and they they were not ready so I had to move on.

Have you considered making your intentions known at the outset like Grandpa instead of informing them after you have moved on?

quote:

I don't know if any of this makes sense of not but my point is that often times girls say they want to be romanced but aren't willing to commit to the one romancing them cause they are often looking for the big better deal.

So wooing must involve a commitment in the beginning? That seems troubling to me.

quote:

Food for thought: When was the last time you went dutch or insisted on going dutch on a Lobster dinner or expensive meal with a Man that you wanted to be serious with and still found him desierable after that?

My interest and feelings about whether someone is desirable have never nor would they ever involve financial matters. Does this really happen often?

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 33

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 1:05:29 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

(by the time I got back and typed this, it has become redundant but I went through the trouble to type it so here you go)

I think of wooing as the art of romance and seduction. Is it a lost art by male submissives? In a push button world of instant gratification with 500 channels of shit on TV, swipe & go cards, etc... I can imagine the art may be fading.

You can woo anyone! Absolutely anyone, any Dom/sub/male/fem/ and all the sexes and power dynamic variations in between. It is simple enough. All you have to do is connect with someone and learn their feelings and their desires. When you know theirs, find your common ground with them and temp them, lure them and seduce them by displaying the parts of you that fit with them.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 34

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 1:09:46 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

quote:

Have you considered making your intentions known at the outset like Grandpa instead of informing them after you have moved on?

LMAO,

You don't know me well.

If I was Courting you .... TRUST ME .... You would KNOW.... Beyond a Shadow of a Doubt.

I am that.... what's word ... oh yeah ...... INTENSE Kinda Guy.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 35

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 1:15:11 PM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

Ah...I see. Well alrighty then!

Yay, Steel

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 36

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 1:55:26 PM

CountrySong

Posts: 554
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline

We fill our lives with so much stuff, trying to keep up with the Jones. Wooing is not lost it just tends to get pushed aside by the demands of life because we forget what really is important and what makes us truly happy. I let that happen once while trying to build a financial dream. I got burried in work and forgot about all the little things - singing her songs, writing poems, watching movies together, romantic dinners. She found someone else to provide those things and I lost the most beautiful part of my life and heart. LESSON LEARNED.

Woo and keep wooing. Never let her forget that she is the most important thing in your life.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 37

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 2:05:22 PM

everhope

Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline

i believe i have been wooed.

_____________________________

may we all find our bliss

Resident VWB

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 38

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 3:18:18 PM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline

My Lord wooed me. Sat right in my office and smiled at me like the devil. Lured me to his lair. Plied me with drink. Then sent me home unsexed. Then did it again. And again. And again.

He also flattered me, listened to me, talked to me, asked me questions, fixed my car (in a thunderstorm,) predicted the very day we would be together with perfect correctness, and basically sent me into a complete emotional tailspin. I think without his willingness to put forth the effort, I would still be with my ex.

He's been wooing me ever since. He cooks for me, does nice little things for me, and wraps his arms around me when I come in the door. He romances me, and sometimes even still dates me. I love him.

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to everhope)

Post #: 39

RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it? - 5/6/2008 3:48:07 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

I want to be wooed, too....and then I want to have a good case of the vapors.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to StormsSlave)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Wooing is not a lost art, or is it?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094