instant submission? (Full Version)

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sambamanslilgirl -> instant submission? (5/11/2008 7:25:03 AM)

backstory: i'm chatting with a local dominant and yesterday he wanted to discuss my submission to him. mind you, this comes after a couple of cm messages and IMs exchanged and 1 phone call ...plus i haven't talked to him for a couple of weeks which i took as a sign he wasn't interested. 

however to discuss my submission out of the blue - i think not since we haven't met in person yet. i've already told him that my submission is something special and i'm not willing to submit instantly to anyone esp not without having trust and compatibility established.

you've heard my opinion, what's yours?  if you're submissive/slave, would you instantly submit to dominant?  if you're a dominant, do you expect or require instant submission?

thanks for all replies




KatyLied -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 7:45:23 AM)

I would not do instant submission.  What value is there in submission that is given to just anybody and everybody?
I also will submit before a first meet if I am interested in someone and want to pursue the relationship.  This may be as simple as calling them if they request it, or some other task.



Lynnxz -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 7:49:52 AM)

Lord, if I submitted to every retard that demanded it, I'd be dead.

Three days ago, a guy said he wanted to do a kidnapping scene, where he wanted to blindfold me and put me in the trunk of his car. Sounds like a sexy time to me!

In my eyes, instant submission is a ridiculous idea. This is not fricking E-z Mac, it's going to take time to build trust.



Roselaure -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 7:52:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

This is not fricking E-z Mac, it's going to take time to build trust.



Ah yes, nothing like the satisfying E-z Mac relationship.  Too funny.



Maya2001 -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 7:56:55 AM)

LOL not me
Though I have had some demand from the first email they sent me,  one of which I ended up making feel like a total asshole afterward  when I informed him I had just got home after having a second surgery within a month and did not feel upto any BS like that ...lol..he was very apologetic once he knew the types of surgery I had just been through..  I have a feeling he has learned since to tone things down at first ...some use because it works with some of the newbie  subs who are too foolish to know better



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 8:17:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

This is not fricking E-z Mac, it's going to take time to build trust.


lol

may i use that quote on him? 



Lynnxz -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 8:20:05 AM)

Of course [:D]



darkesttdesire -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 8:39:48 AM)

this is a copy  of emails which transpired between myself and some real strong "Dominant" type recently  [8|]
<Kneel and open your mouth>
shit do i have to?
<DO IT......>.
bit of a inconvenient time for you to ask, doing my nails and not really in the mood.... haven't vacuumed the floors in over a yr so its pretty yuk.. carpet stinks to high heaven needs a clean and theres 12 ankle biters running around screaming for food.... god help me oh and another thing we ran out of toilet paper so is shitty as all hell.... but then what do i care about toilet paper I dont have time to wipe the ass anyway lmao being a submissive suks big time... you Doms must think we sit doing nothing .... god I need sleep... heaven help me please
<'ll help you by using that submissive cunt. Send me a face pic>
a face pic of me or of the 12 ankle biters????

[image]http://www.collarme.com/images/horzline.gif[/image] function OnBusy() { editor_insertHTML('mess','Dear LordTame,

       Thank you for writing to me.  I have received a large number of messages and am unable to respond to each one individually at this time.  I will be responding to my messages in more detail when I am better able to do so.

       With regard,

       darkesttdesire'); } function OnInvolved() { editor_insertHTML('mess','Dear LordTame,

       Thank you for writing to me.  Please note that I am presently involved in a relationship and am therefore unable consider other offers at this time.  I wish you the best of luck in your search!

       With regard,

       darkesttdesire'); } function OnThankYou() { editor_insertHTML('mess','Dear LordTame,

       Thank you for the kind words and good luck in your search!

       With regard,

       darkesttdesire'); } function OnCustom() { editor_insertHTML('mess','Dear LordTame,

      

       With regard,

       darkesttdesire'); }





darkesttdesire -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 8:40:53 AM)

oops




KatyLied -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 8:42:59 AM)

quote:

I have received a large number of messages


This is great, but you should say something like this:

I have received a large number of messages requesting I get on my knees and suck, so sorry, but my darn mouth is sore and I can't honor your most domly request until I give my mouth some much needed rest!

Yours in submission,
sore mouth sub



gypsygrl -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 8:57:50 AM)

quote:

he wanted to discuss my submission to him


I can't tell from the way you worded it whether he was assuming you were already submitting to him or whether he just wanted to discuss it in the abstract, as something that might be relevant in the future.  And the way you phrased your question made it pretty loaded inviting knee jerk responses.

Discussing submission isn't the same as actually submitting.  I wouldn't have a problem with such a discussion if it was understood that it was only a discussion about a potential future with no implied committment to actual submission.  In other words, if the conversation was preceded by a bit "IF" as in, "if I decide submission to you is warrented, then.....(rest of conversation goes here).  My submission isn't that special that I can't talk about it.  Then again, there's not a whole lot I won't have a conversation about so long as I enjoy talking to the person, in general. 

I think its also worth mentioning that if you discuss your submission, he ought to be discussing his domination which could give you a lot of important information that you might need at some point in the future. 



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 9:02:12 AM)

here's what he actually said to me - when i get back, i want to discuss your submission

i have in no way submitted to him or anything. we were barely chatting online until he disappeared (due to work according to him) and then re-appeared yesterday afternoon.

edit to add: he naturally assumed i submitted to him after replying to his initial cm message though repeatedly stating he's not looking for instant anything. that being said, he's not willing to wait either.

my take on this is without any face to face meetings, isn't premature to have any discussion about my submission to him? 




gypsygrl -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 9:10:19 AM)

quote:

when i get back, i want to discuss your submission


Ok.  I guess that wouldn't put me off because it doesn't strike me as presumptuous.  If, instead, he said, "when I get back, I expect you to have completed x, y, and z task" it would be a little more off-putting. 

Edited: I just saw your edit.  And yes, if he's assuming that replying to an email involves submission, he's off the mark. Unless you signed the email "your humble servant." :)



RealSub58 -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 9:23:27 AM)

instant submission = easy lay

sambamanslilgirl
>>edit to add: he naturally assumed i submitted to him after replying >>to his initial cm message though repeatedly stating he's not >>looking for instant anything. that being said, he's not willing to >>wait either.

>>my take on this is without any face to face meetings, isn't >>premature to have any discussion about my submission to him? 

Might I ask?  Are you discussing this cause you are somewhat interested and wanting to know what the general populous thinks before you make up your mind?



stella41b -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 9:51:32 AM)

It depends if they see me as a complete person or just as a sub.



ITGirl68 -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 9:54:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

...discuss my submission to him.

* * *

i've already told him that my submission is something special and i'm not willing to submit instantly to anyone esp not without having trust and compatibility established.

you've heard my opinion, what's yours?  if you're submissive/slave, would you instantly submit to dominant? 



My initial reply was to say "just say - 'NOH!'" And, if that wasn't enough, "Hell, no!"

Then I remembered that I do not believe in submission - or trust - as an on/off switch. Trust and submission can be seen as correlated continuua. There are so many ways that we all wind up submitting to someone without explicit negotiations, without establishing full trust and compatibility, and without even knowing them. We may choose to respond to requests for information, to communicate in a certain way (or by a different medium they request), to address them as SirWanksalot (or whatever ridiculous pseudonym they may have chosen for this venue), etc. I think we can feel safer if we base our degree of trust and submission on our knowledge (over time) of  another person.

I once heard someone suggest looking on trust as a matter of  "TWUST" - that is, Trust Without Understanding Spells Trouble. If you take a total leap of faith on a stranger, you really risk trouble (for both of you) - simply because you have no idea if someone will catch you, can catch you, wants to catch you, or even recognizes that you are leaping. That same person, however, might be delighted and able to accept more limited responsibility: the equivalent of holding a door (so it doesn't close in your face) or of giving you a hand to step down a staircase.

If you trust someone only as much or as far as you know/understand them to be capable of honoring (and willing to honor) a specific degree/area of responsibility, neither of you run as much risk of misunderstanding or pain.

FWIW, I also love the Ez-mac concept!

- Angel



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 10:08:31 AM)

what i stated in the original post was what i said to him but only giving you a paraphrased version of a very long letter.

i've already decided before posting this - merely asking the general populous their opinions.



DesFIP -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 10:13:40 AM)

That's a very ambiguous statement. I might just say that I'm not sure what he wants to discuss since I haven't agreed to submit and won't until I feel comfortable doing so. Then allow him to explain. If he's just interested in discussing in general what you need to feel submissive towards someone that's a lot different then if he demands you meet him immediately at a seedy motel.



OsideGirl -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 11:38:26 AM)

My personal response always was: "I don't even know if I like you, yet. Nevermind like you enough to discuss something as deeply personal as my submission,"



MladyHathor -> RE: instant submission? (5/11/2008 2:11:52 PM)

Well, considering you already profess to belong to someone, Id be asking too--not that I expect imstamt submission--but I'd wonder where your head was--and given the fact that you belong to someone why would you be entertaining chats with another in the realm of D---s???



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