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[Poll]

Fidelity

I'm male and have cheated on a partner

6% (14)

I'm male and have not cheated

5% (12)

I'm female and have cheated

22% (46)

I'm female and have not cheated

14% (29)

Male and would never cheat

3% (7)

Male and would cheat possibly

1% (4)

Female and would never cheat

12% (25)

Female and would possibly cheat

3% (8)

Cheating is human and forgivable

18% (38)

Cheating is unforgivable

11% (23)

Total Votes : 206

(last vote on : 5/28/2008 5:37:11 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 4:26:09 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: BOUNTYHUNTER

LEVEL,men where created with the go forth and multiply gene and soirée to say I have that gene...I cheated in my first marriage and probably would have in my second

it sounds as if you are saying infidelity is genetic....

Whos to say that it isn't, I am saying I am more man then two women can keep up with lol...

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RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 4:28:18 AM

kittinSol

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Of course it's not wrong. I don't think anything's wrong, as long as nobody gets hurt. But as we are all prone to error, pain is pretty much part of the course... It's inevitable that some of us will cheat, but the cheating doesn't have to go on.

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RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 4:37:29 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I don't know how to answer this poll. I never cheated in my marriage when I considered us married. But we are not legally divorced. But we do not consider ourselves still married and have been estranged for 3 and 1/2 years. So I guess it depends on what you define as being married.

I would rather swing with my partner than have him cheat on me. I do have more respect for people in open marriages than those who cheat. Cheating is going behind someone's back and having to lie to them.

Lucious, there are many that view those that swing as guilty,We are a funny couple,she doesn't play, well perhaps with a delicous little female..She content with one man and it burns my soul that I am not a one woman man,I wish I was,,,Now love and lust are two diffenent things,I lust often but love only one..bounty

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Post #: 23

RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 4:43:33 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Of course it's not wrong. I don't think anything's wrong, as long as nobody gets hurt. But as we are all prone to error, pain is pretty much part of the course... It's inevitable that some of us will cheat, but the cheating doesn't have to go on.

Thank you for your answer, my friend.

Time to go fuck the neighbor's wife, ahhh, I mean, go to work.

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Post #: 24

RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 4:47:54 AM

kittinSol

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Looking at your statistics up there, Mr Stud, I see that women are the ones that cheated the most so far

(I was one of them, goes without saying).

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Post #: 25

RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 4:50:33 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Looking at your statistics up there, Mr Stud, I see that women are the ones that cheated the most so far (I was one of them, goes without saying).

I saw that too..... either women are more honest, or we've just had more women vote so far.

I've never cheated, but I've been sorely tempted.

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Post #: 26

RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 4:53:53 AM

kittinSol

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Mind you, why is cheating the first thing that comes to mind when we're talking about fidelity?

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Post #: 27

RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 4:57:59 AM

Aileen1968

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Me thinks that, based on the poll results thus far, that men just can't seem to tell the truth even when anonymous.

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Post #: 28

RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 5:00:58 AM

SleepyDom

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It's not the cheating but the lying that I cannot forgive, because once trust is destroyed there's no relationship. And I DO have a problem with marriage, in that monogamy is encouraged, even expected, which only increases cheating because of strong sexual desires. If monogamy was expected only of those so inclined, then there would be a lot less cheating, a lot less lying, a lot less sexual repression.

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Post #: 29

RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 5:03:16 AM

KMsAngel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I don't know how to answer this poll. I never cheated in my marriage when I considered us married. But we are not legally divorced. But we do not consider ourselves still married and have been estranged for 3 and 1/2 years. So I guess it depends on what you define as being married.

hmmm interesting. i was separated for 3 years. the first two and a half years he was adamant that he did not want a divorce, but didn't seem to be interested in working on the marriage. when the divorce papers came through, he put our separation date as the date he felt the marriage was over (contrary to what he led me to believe) - which is probably why he never felt he cheated on me. i feel/felt that he was exceedingly dishonest with me.

i'm assuming that in your case the official separation officially ended the marriage for the two of you? if not, does HE feel the marriage is over as well?

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Post #: 30

RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 5:04:12 AM

beargonewild

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Fidelity works for some and not for others. I have cheated on a partner in the past, though it wasn't the cause of the breakup, it just accelerated the split.

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Post #: 31

RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 5:05:08 AM

christine1

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i voted that i'd never cheat and i never have. i'm not built for loving more than one man at a time.

well i've written that 3 times and it still sounds a bit pissy, that isn't my intention...

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Post #: 32

RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 5:06:03 AM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Our genes also predispose us to eat sweet foods, but do you have this tolerant a view towards someone who stuffs themselves with cookies and ice cream until they are housebound at 600 pounds? We are more than the cravings of our genes. Or should be.

Yes..... but is that a case of comparing apples and oranges? (Or cookies and cumming?)

Nope.

You're saying that men should cheat because they are instinctively driven to do so. I asked about another instinctive drive. If it's legitimate to do one thing for no reason other than our genes push us to do so, then why isn't it a legitimate excuse when it comes to other instinctive drives?

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Post #: 33

RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 5:08:52 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BOUNTYHUNTER

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: BOUNTYHUNTER

LEVEL,men where created with the go forth and multiply gene and soirée to say I have that gene...I cheated in my first marriage and probably would have in my second

it sounds as if you are saying infidelity is genetic....

Whos to say that it isn't, I am saying I am more man then two women can keep up with lol...

i have no clue if it is genetic or not. Actually, i never thought about it before. My issue is, if it is genetic, entering into a union where the partner expects fidelity is not right.

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Post #: 34

RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 5:09:57 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Our genes also predispose us to eat sweet foods, but do you have this tolerant a view towards someone who stuffs themselves with cookies and ice cream until they are housebound at 600 pounds? We are more than the cravings of our genes. Or should be.

Yes..... but is that a case of comparing apples and oranges? (Or cookies and cumming?)

Nope.

You're saying that men should cheat because they are instinctively driven to do so. I asked about another instinctive drive. If it's legitimate to do one thing for no reason other than our genes push us to do so, then why isn't it a legitimate excuse when it comes to other instinctive drives?

Because cheating isn't hazardous to your health,unless your spouse catches you and ballooning up to 300 pounds definitely is..BH

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RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 5:11:02 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

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quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

i voted that i'd never cheat and i never have. i'm not built for loving more than one man at a time.

well i've written that 3 times and it still sounds a bit pissy, that isn't my intention...

Prissy indeed smiles...

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Post #: 36

RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 5:21:50 AM

kittinSol

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Cheating isn't more hardwired into the male DNA than in the female. As a matter of fact, the statistics show that women indulge in a lot of little bit on the side - percentage of women who admitted to committing infedility in any relationship that they've had: 54%. Percentage of men: 57%. Hardly a significant difference, is it?

"Awww, but I can't help it, it's a genetic thing": just a pale excuse for guys to go and cavort with floozies.

Infidelity facts (a pretty enlightening website

.)

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RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 6:33:27 AM

cjan

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I agree that the cheating lies more in the deception and lying than in the infidelity itself. As humans, male and female, we have passions that sometimes overcome our judgement and even comittments. However, lying and deception is not based on passion, it's a conscious decision and act of will.

Having said that, yes I've cheated in both senses of the word. Having done that, and lived with the consequences, I've learned that I'm not very good at being monogamous. I'll never marry again. I just don't see, for myself, the necessity for it.

As for loving just one...I know, from experrience, that I can love more than one person at a time. That's not to say that I'm incapable of making a commitment to just one person, and valuing her above all others. That's not the case. Again, for me, the cheating lies in the deception. The rest is negotiable according to both parties needs and wishes.

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Post #: 38

RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 6:52:10 AM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SleepyDom

It's not the cheating but the lying that I cannot forgive, because once trust is destroyed there's no relationship. And I DO have a problem with marriage, in that monogamy is encouraged, even expected, which only increases cheating because of strong sexual desires. If monogamy was expected only of those so inclined, then there would be a lot less cheating, a lot less lying, a lot less sexual repression.

There is so much truth to that statement. And unfortuantely, many of us get married in our early 20s when we are still too full of the ideas that have been fed to us, and do not fully know our own wants, desires and needs yet. I used to say marriage should be illegal before the age of 30.

Infidelity isn't the only thing that creates enormous pain and distrust in marriage, but it's the one bandwagon everyone jumps on and holds on tightly to. My husband cheated on me, but not with another partner. He cheated me of being the husband he vowed to be. Emotional abuse, extended unemployment and dispassion were his partners on the side, that competed with our marriage. It's funny, because I used to wish it was another woman - at least that would be something I understood.

In the end I cheated on him. I'm not proud of it, but I don't regret it. And once a cheater NOT always a cheater. I have never even had the desire to cheat on my Master. I think cheating most occurs when one is not allowed to be true to oneself - not just sexually but in every way.

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Post #: 39

RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 7:22:40 AM

cjan

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quote:

ownedgirlie quote"

I think cheating most occurs when one is not allowed to be true to oneself - not just sexually but in every way.

Amen

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