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[Poll]

Fidelity


I'm male and have cheated on a partner
  6% (14)
I'm male and have not cheated
  5% (12)
I'm female and have cheated
  22% (46)
I'm female and have not cheated
  14% (29)
Male and would never cheat
  3% (7)
Male and would cheat possibly
  1% (4)
Female and would never cheat
  12% (25)
Female and would possibly cheat
  3% (8)
Cheating is human and forgivable
  18% (38)
Cheating is unforgivable
  11% (23)


Total Votes : 206
(last vote on : 5/28/2008 5:37:11 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 12:15:25 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuffkinks

"Male and would never cheat."

  It's just not My style. I've been in "exclusive" relationships before, and I never strayed. I don't believe in cheating. That's why I spent so much time by Myself. I kept things casual so I wouldn't have to lie or cheat. I was very happy that way. I was alone but never lonely. Then I met the perfect woman for Me. I'm in a wonderful relationship that fulfills Me in every way, so there's no need to cheat.
  Having said that...My little girl actually thinks the idea of Me fucking another woman, or better yet...Dominating and fucking another woman is hot. So, I've got the best of both worlds. If I ever get the urge for variety, then it's as I told her: Anything I was going to do behind your back would be so much more fun if you were there.
  That's My story and I'm sticking to it.


Yup, that what I want too!

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Cuffkinks)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 12:20:52 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

yes he does. We live in the same building in separate apartments to co-parent an um. We still work in partnership in raising our son and we are both fair. he is very helpful when i want to leave for vacations and when i see Sir. He says that Sir sounds like a nice guy. My son considers us divorced too. he isnt lied to. We tell him we will always be friends because we love him. I am going to be introducing my son to my Sir soon. I checked with my ex to see how he felt about he. There is no problem. We arent enemies. We are two people that share a kid and had a life and will always want the best for each other.


it takes alot of maturity to have this situation.


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 12:23:53 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

yes he does. We live in the same building in separate apartments to co-parent an um. We still work in partnership in raising our son and we are both fair. he is very helpful when i want to leave for vacations and when i see Sir. He says that Sir sounds like a nice guy. My son considers us divorced too. he isnt lied to. We tell him we will always be friends because we love him. I am going to be introducing my son to my Sir soon. I checked with my ex to see how he felt about he. There is no problem. We arent enemies. We are two people that share a kid and had a life and will always want the best for each other.


it takes alot of maturity to have this situation.



Hey!!!!! (stamps feet) I know you are but what am I???

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 12:24:39 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92
I need a choice of - Female, will never cheat again.


:)  That would be my ideal choice, too.

Like you, I felt I made my bed in my own miserable marriage, too.  After all, I was convinced that I was the source of all of its problems.

But here we are now, free to be ourselves.  Now that I learned who I am, I can only live honestly - to myself, first.  Cheating my Master would be cheating myself. 

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to hejira92)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 12:26:44 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

yes he does. We live in the same building in separate apartments to co-parent an um. We still work in partnership in raising our son and we are both fair. he is very helpful when i want to leave for vacations and when i see Sir. He says that Sir sounds like a nice guy. My son considers us divorced too. he isnt lied to. We tell him we will always be friends because we love him. I am going to be introducing my son to my Sir soon. I checked with my ex to see how he felt about he. There is no problem. We arent enemies. We are two people that share a kid and had a life and will always want the best for each other.


it takes alot of maturity to have this situation.



Hey!!!!! (stamps feet) I know you are but what am I???


oops...sorry Luscious....i didn't mean it!!!!
   begs forgiveness..........


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 3:27:27 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Our genes also predispose us to eat sweet foods, but do you have this tolerant a view towards someone who stuffs themselves with cookies and ice cream until they are housebound at 600 pounds? We are more than the cravings of our genes. Or should be.


Yes..... but is that a case of comparing apples and oranges? (Or cookies and cumming?)


Nope.

You're saying that men should cheat because they are instinctively driven to do so. I asked about another instinctive drive. If it's legitimate to do one thing for no reason other than our genes push us to do so, then why isn't it a legitimate excuse when it comes to other instinctive drives?


Now, I never said anyone "should" cheat. And just because something is instinctual doesn't make it right or wrong.
 
Anyway, neither ballooning up to 600 lbs or betraying a trust, are good.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 3:28:49 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I've discovered over the years that MOST humans need more than one sex partner in order to be happy. That goes for females and males alike. Cheating is forgivable even though it does hurt at first. When I found out my ex-husband was cheating instead of getting angry I said lets have an open marriage, you do your thing and I'll do mine. It was the best decision that I had ever made except for the fact that he could deal with him having other sex partners, he just didn't want me to have any others. So I said its time for a divorce and we did.

In my relationship now its understood that at any time I can take on another sex partner and he has to accept it without complaint. Which I doubt he would complain as he would benefit from it too, I would never exclude him.

~Lashra



LOL Lashra

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 3:33:35 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		23 female cheaters, and 5 guys?



_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 3:34:27 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		ROFL!!! I wonder who's doing the wishful thinking.

_____________________________



(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 3:37:27 PM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		Pssst, Level...share the list of female cheaters with me on the other side, mkay ? I have bacon for ya...

Anybody want to identify herself as a shameless tart ? Hmmmm ?




< Message edited by cjan -- 5/20/2008 3:41:27 PM >

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti



(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 3:38:28 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

23 female cheaters, and 5 guys?




to quote you..."Phooey!!"


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 3:38:47 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Shameless tart  .

_____________________________



(in reply to cjan)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 3:42:41 PM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		we have a winner !



_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti



(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 3:43:29 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		What do I get, what do I get?

_____________________________



(in reply to cjan)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 3:44:11 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BOUNTYHUNTER

You are assuming that safe sex wasn't involved, you know what you get when you assume right....bounty


I whole heartedly agree Bounty. I mean, just because many of us have either cheated or are in a poly situation, does not mean we carelessly cast away our personal responsibility for our health and well being!

From following all the posts on this topic, it is obvious that many people are wired to be monogamous and many aren't. There's no point going into the reasons why a person (read myself) is unfaithful to their primary partner, often it happens and granted it may not be fair to the partner yet it happens. In my situation, I knew what I was getting into, I knew I was risking my relationship with the one I was living with. It boils down to the fact that I was fully aware of the risks and went ahead anyway and took personal responsibility for any and all repercussions. Would I do things over again in a different way....NO! All my life's experiences made me who I am now and I refuse to look back with regret.


_____________________________

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Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

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(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 3:44:49 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel


quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I don't know how to answer this poll. I never cheated in my marriage when I considered us married. But we are not legally divorced. But we do not consider ourselves still married and have been estranged for 3 and 1/2 years. So I guess it depends on what you define as being married.



hmmm interesting. i was separated for 3 years. the first two and a half years he was adamant that he did not want a divorce, but didn't seem to be interested in working on the marriage. when the divorce papers came through, he put our separation date as the date he felt the marriage was over (contrary to what he led me to believe) - which is probably why he never felt he cheated on me. i feel/felt that he was exceedingly dishonest with me.

i'm assuming that in your case the official separation officially ended the marriage for the two of you? if not, does HE feel the marriage is over as well?


yes he does. We live in the same building in separate apartments to co-parent an um. We still work in partnership in raising our son and we are both fair. he is very helpful when i want to leave for vacations and when i see Sir. He says that Sir sounds like a nice guy. My son considers us divorced too. he isnt lied to. We tell him we will always be friends because we love him. I am going to be introducing my son to my Sir soon. I checked with my ex to see how he felt about he. There is no problem. We arent enemies. We are two people that share a kid and had a life and will always want the best for each other.
         i have a similiar relationship with my ex...although he was a philanderer(omg, i LOVE that word!) he is an awesome parent.  The two(hubby, daddy) i treat as seperate.  It makes for well rounded UMs.  i try to put aside the hurt feelings all the cheating brought about and focus on the good....
        i think internalizing and staying stuck in "wounded" mode is why some people can't move on after infidelity.  Many peoople opt to stay in these relationships...but are constantly playing the victim.  That's a self-injurious behavior, in my opinion.  Some people have a need to be emotonally beaten in order to feel as if they are in a relationship.   i know some who say at all costs...the relationship must stay intact.  i can't judge, if it works for them, fine.  If a couple can get over infidelity without splitting up, and function well...great for them.  i wish i were that lucky. 

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 3:52:14 PM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

What do I get, what do I get?


Just close your eyes and reach into the grab bag, darlin'.

*evil grin*


_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti



(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 3:52:47 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

All my life's experiences made me who I am now and I refuse to look back with regret.



To my mind you are an amazing, thoughtful person of depth and empathy. Don't change nuttin'

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 4:08:13 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

23 female cheaters, and 5 guys?




to quote you..."Phooey!!"



Phooey....... hooey...... bullshitooey.......

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Fidelity - 5/20/2008 4:57:42 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan

Pssst, Level...share the list of female cheaters with me on the other side, mkay ? I have bacon for ya...

Anybody want to identify herself as a shameless tart ? Hmmmm ?





Firstly, Tarts taste good! Second, its not cheating if they are watching or give ya permission ,soooooo can I keep my halo?

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 5/20/2008 4:58:18 PM >

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to cjan)
Profile   Post #: 80
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