Shaping and Molding (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

Owner4SexSlave -> Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 8:56:24 AM)

Ok, I'm really interesting in hearing from both sides of a coin on this one.

For submissive/slave types;
"What does being shaped and molded actually mean to you personally"

For all the Dom/mes out there;
"What does shaping and molding somebody mean to you on a personal level"



RCdc -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 8:58:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

For submissive/slave types;
"What does being shaped and molded actually mean to you personally"



It means that I would not be compatable with someone who wanted to do that and I would not consider a relationship with anyone who was into that kind of manipulation.
 
the.dark.



OmegaG -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 9:06:47 AM)

as a quasai artist, I've always wanted to be able to sculp and create marvelous works of 3D art.  I've learned enough to know it's not my forte.

When a sculper works with his medium, wood, marble, clay, etc.  he has to know the material he's working with, with stone and wood he has to design the finished piece around what the raw material offers, soft spots in the stone, knots in the wood-- almost no piece is perfect and the artist needs to work with the imperfections if he wants a beautiful piece of art rather then a pile of shit.  With clay the artist has to know what the material can tolerate, will it dry out if manipulated too long, can it be fired for strenght, does the material have enough density to be used in a large piece or can it only be used for smaller, less practical pieces.  Will it be fragile when done, will it be water resistant, will it break down if manipulated too much.

I think that in any relationship a person conforms and compromises to create something different when they are partnered.  I think that it may be a more obvious power dybnamic in BDSM because he D-type can merely instruct the s-type that he desires a change whereas in a more vanilla relationship less obvious means are used to manipulate and conform a partner to be more pleasing to you.

I think, with the above analogy, I can be molded and shaped to a point, I think that m'Lord looked for the raw material that he didn't have to shape much to begin with and I do think that I have some imperfections that would cause me to crack if he tried to work in that area.  However, I think that like a piece of stone, I will me more beautiful at m'Lord's hand then I was in my original form.



Madame4a -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 9:07:12 AM)

it means I'm not interested... 



Dnomyar -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 9:10:49 AM)

We all try to shape and mold people wheather we are consiciousof it or not.  Could you try it this way please   ect  ect.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 9:17:05 AM)

for this slave, it isn't offensive and is perceived as a way to express "training"~with a little twist of objectification thrown in.
 
Being trained in the ways that please Him was and is important to this slave...and objectification can be rather yummy![:)]



RCdc -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 9:18:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

We all try to shape and mold people wheather we are consiciousof it or not.  Could you try it this way please   ect  ect.


I don't disagree completely but I do disagree that it is a given.
Moulding and shaping someone because you want someone a certain way for selfish reasons is completely different from enhancing someones natural gifts or personality creating improvement.
 
the.dark.



boytoy4female -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 9:24:24 AM)

Omega G has it correct, you must know what you are working with. I have experienced being shaped/molded first hand. It is a process, not an event. As humans, we are adaptable to changing environments and a creative and patient dom can modify a persons behaviour, if that person is agreeable. I now have several behaviours/habits I did not formerly have. They please mistress and help keep me under her thumb.

I know everyone will start screaming "its wrong" but I disagree. We change all the time. If you are in a relationship, compare your behaviours now to those before you were in that relationship.

Never underestimate the power of rewards of pleasure. This is your most powerful tool in creating change.



Dnomyar -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 9:30:12 AM)

Dark I agree that there are various way of shaping and molding. Still it is all in getting the desired effect.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 9:37:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
I think, with the above analogy, I can be molded and shaped to a point, I think that m'Lord looked for the raw material that he didn't have to shape much to begin with and I do think that I have some imperfections that would cause me to crack if he tried to work in that area.  However, I think that like a piece of stone, I will me more beautiful at m'Lord's hand then I was in my original form.


I loved this, and agree with what both you and beth wrote.  One can be shaped and molded to bring about the inner beauty that was previously unseen.  It is a form of training, and, in my case, it was a training that taught me to use my mind, love myself, laugh more, and feel confident.



phoenixinchains -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 9:45:37 AM)

To shape and mold a person, to me, would mean to have a major role in assisting them become a person they want to be. Something that would happen in the relationship between a Journeyman and an apprintice,  Otherwise it would be breaking and reassembling.

Have i been shaped or molded. i would rather think i have been sharpened, i have been well forged[:D]



Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 9:50:07 AM)

For me shaping and molding somebody, comes part of a Daddy Dom perspective for me.

Actually, it's a bit of my inherit personality.  I take pleasure in anothers personal growth, such as showing other people or treaching them how to play things on the guitar.   Helping them open their minds up to new ideas and thoughts. 

For me, it's a matter of having a hand in personal growth and develop of anothers talents and skills. 

If for instance, I realize that one has talents, and skills and certain abilitities, I enjoy tapping into such things.  To the point I encourage it.  An assignment such as Draw me a picture of such and such.  Perhaps do this or that.  Something where the assignment is designed to challenge, push, cultivate these skills and talents.

Shaping and Molding also means, yes, training somebody and letting them know exactly what I like and dislike.  It helps them serve me better, instead of them feeling like a constant fuckup and are worthless in service or doing things right.

Yes, I have personal interests at hand, when shaping and molding somebody.  The Daddy Dom part of me even has self interests, in terms of recieving the satisfaction from being a person that helps another grow.  Yes, I enjoy that warm and fuzzy feeling inside.  Maaaauhhhhhh...  Damn I'm twisted. 

Anyways, I thought I'd start a thread on this topic.  Because I've come to realize that "Shaping and Molding" carry some negative weight and meaning as words used in BDSM land here online.   I'm interested in what these words honestly mean to other people.  



Mercnbeth -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 9:52:21 AM)

~ Fast Reply ~
quote:

For all the Dom/mes out there;
"What does shaping and molding somebody mean to you on a personal level"


Projecting long term, committing to long term interaction, dedication to a goal requiring time, considering valuable any 'effort' dedicated to achieving the common desire over time. Enjoying all that transpires, and sharing a laugh or two looking back over the noble 'failed' attempts and experiments, as well has the fantastic successes, experienced along the journey. Always looking forward and focusing on a common goal; while having as much FUN, and making sure to miss as few opportunities for FUN, as possible in the present.



Aine -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 9:54:52 AM)

I completely agree with phoenixinchains...

I have no problems (on both sides as a switch) being helped to be a better me, enhancing that which is already inside of me that I might not see.  To be supported and guided and cheered on to be more, be better, to succeed.

And I have no problem doing that for my Mate or anyone else I know.  If I have a bad habit, or see a bad habit, I will work on both sides to correct that bad habit if it is wanting to be corrected.  I will accept and give advise when and where I can, and accept support and be supportive...but I will not try to change someone because it suits me.  I will not let someone try to change me in a way I do not want to be changed. 

I support growth, change, and success in self.  I don't support greedy reasons for making someone into something they are not, and do not want to be.  Some people don't realize that they do not have to be changed into something they do not want to be, but do it with doubt in their head and resentment in their hearts.  That is something I work -hard- to avoid and to speak to others that they do not have to do such things if they do not want to. 



SleepyDom -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 9:59:40 AM)

It means turning them into whatever I want them to be for my evil, twisted pleasures. [:D]



Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 10:02:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

For submissive/slave types;
"What does being shaped and molded actually mean to you personally"



It means that I would not be compatable with someone who wanted to do that and I would not consider a relationship with anyone who was into that kind of manipulation.
 
the.dark.

 
I'm rather curious as to why these words, have a negative meaning to you?



CalifChick -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 10:13:08 AM)

I like what Aine said.  The phrase "shaped and molded" does seem to have a negative "feel" to me.  I'm almost 44 yrs old for goodness sakes, if there was any shaping or molding to be done, it would have needed to be done long ago.  Do I have bad habits?  Yep, procrastination being one of my worst. But working on it to please someone, or to be a better person, is not shaping/molding, at least to me anyway. 

Having someone tell me how they like things done (2 sugars, easy on the cream) is just part of communication in any relationship of any flavor.  I don't see that as shaping, molding or training.

It seems like we're trying to use special words to describe ordinary things.

Cali



CalifChick -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 10:18:41 AM)

Owner, you didn't ask me, but I'll answer anyway. When you say someone needs "shaping and molding", to me, that screams that they are immature, naive, not street smart, less than intelligent, etc.  Like a big smart man needs to come along and take a stupid woman and teach her how to be a functioning adult.  I'm a grown woman, I'm fairly intelligent, I keep my own house, take care of my kids, work several jobs, balance my checkbook, etc., etc. I don't need a man to come along and change me into an ideal woman. I'm already an "ideal" woman for somebody, somewhere.... now I just have to get him to come and find me!

Cali



DesFIP -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 10:19:57 AM)

I'm with Cali, at my age I am who I am, take it or leave it. The other thing no one's yet mentioned is whether or not the D is being upfront about it or sneakily trying to change a behavior without knowing how the s feels about it. The Man worked on my self esteem for a long time but he told me what he was doing, why he was giving the orders he did, and he expected it to be difficult for me. If I had been given an order to change, and then punished for not being able to all alone and overnight, that would have ended everything immediately. I got comfort on the days I couldn't and praise when I could. And that made the difference.



Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Shaping and Molding (5/20/2008 10:31:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I'm with Cali, at my age I am who I am, take it or leave it. The other thing no one's yet mentioned is whether or not the D is being upfront about it or sneakily trying to change a behavior without knowing how the s feels about it. The Man worked on my self esteem for a long time but he told me what he was doing, why he was giving the orders he did, and he expected it to be difficult for me. If I had been given an order to change, and then punished for not being able to all alone and overnight, that would have ended everything immediately. I got comfort on the days I couldn't and praise when I could. And that made the difference.

Things such as working on self esteem, take a while to do, even a few years.  Something you just can't order or force to happen.  Takes work, patience and understanding.   In terms of being upfront or sneaky, The majority of time, I've found it's best to be upfront, a few cases or exceptions where you want the results to be pleasent suprise.  Being Sneaky but in a good way.  In terms of punishment, it can be a challenge to deal with a somebody beating themselves up and punishing themselves. 



Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
3.076172E-02