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Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:23:03 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		OK, I'll most likely regret this post, but while I'm half drunk, I'm gonna ask....

my last relationship ended today (yesterday??).  I got the 'lets just be friends' speech.

It's not the first time.. actually, usually, it's either a sudden end to communication, or it gets ugly, or something like that.

Obviously, the common denom is me.   I have been trying to figure out what it is that causes this to happen.  This one said I was too clingy.. even after I all but ceased communication.  The last one turned into a stalker (ok, THAT wasnt me..LOL). The last LTR I had the guy broke up with me via email (after living together for 5 yrs) because he had replaced me (the bitch was there the day I moved my stuff out, but she was hiding.. chickenshit cunt).

Ok, ignore me, I'm drunk.

Actually, I guess what I am asking is HOW THE HELL do you figure out what it IS that keeps going wrong??

(XI? if I regret this in the morning, can I ask you to pull the thread?? *begbegbeg*)

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RE: Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:31:38 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Well dahlinggggg, I think your entire premise is flawed.  Everyone is their own common denominator in every relationship, else the relationship would be between two other people.  And Steel, when you read this, I don't want to hear it, because I know you tell me that I am the common denominator in every one of my own relationships (uh yep, else it wouldn't be MY relationships). 

When you can pull out a common denominator in the failed relationships themselves, then you have something to examine.  For instance, if every failed relationship ends because he has a drinking problem, or he cheats on you, or whatever... that is what you should be examining.

Cali


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RE: Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:33:42 PM   
lilabbotsfordgrl


Posts: 140
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline 		Sorry to hear about your relationship loss.  :(
I really don't know how to figure out what went wrong.  Maybe a little time will help you figure some things out?  Jumping into another relationship before working through it might be harmful in the long run.
It sucks when relationships go bad, and you don't even really know why.

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RE: Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:33:47 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		I'm more inclined to ask what are the common traits in the people you choose to have a relationship with? What do they all have in common?

I went through a patch when I was ohhhh so young, of being with arseholes. Honest to god, I actually CHOSE to be with guys who were either in trouble with the police or seemed dangerous in some way. I had an extremely sheltered and "proper" ubringing and I think it was a little rebellion. Thankfully, I got over it, but I've had friends who chose arseholes all their lives. Some chose guys who always cheated.  Some flocked to guys who were violent. Some of these guys were quite high powered, executive types, some were no hopers, but they all had something in common.

Sometimes, it's easier to stick with what you know, rather than break away and try a new track. Sometimes we tend to believe something so much, we actually unconsiously make the effort to find the same "type". The whole self fulfilling prophecy thing.

Try writing it all down, I bet you find they all have something in common. Once you know, you know what to try to steer clear of in the future.

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RE: Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:34:40 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Cali.. I see what you're saying.. but what is it in me that keeps finding the ones that I'm not 'good enough' for?? Thats what I cant figure out.

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polysnortatious
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RE: Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:36:10 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*smooches grl and MissM*  thank you.. food for thought...

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:36:58 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Okay, don't make me bitch slap you over the "not good enough" thing again.  It doesn't exist, so knock it the fark off.  Examine THEM... what do they have in common?  What signs did you choose to ignore (if any)?  Did they all go wrong in the same way?  Did you keep your feet grounded in reality?

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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RE: Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:38:00 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		The pleasure is ours, beautiful girl, as always.

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if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


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RE: Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:38:08 PM   
lilabbotsfordgrl


Posts: 140
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline 		*smooch back* Drunken fivesome?  :D

*dodges Daddy's paddle* oops!  maybe count me out.... until he's in bed ;)

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RE: Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:38:10 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I don't know. and right now, I'm not sure I could recognize it if it slapped me in the face.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:39:27 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		YAY grl! that could work ;) (paddles BAD...unless I'm applying them to someone elses butt)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:39:33 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Epiphanies realized while inebriated often make no sense in the morning.  So stop thinking so hard.  Personally, I'm hitting the Nyquil and then hitting my bed.  Alone.  Naked.  Alone and Naked and buzzed on Nyquil.  Sigh.  Such a glamorous life I lead.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to GreedyTop)
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RE: Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:40:51 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		dammit, why did I leave CA???

Yeah, Cali.. thats why I said I'd probably regret this..and begged XI to pull it if I asked, in the morning..LOL

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:42:38 PM   
lilabbotsfordgrl


Posts: 140
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline 		*sips some of the communal Nyquil*
mmmmmmmmm sleepydrunkhappy!
*rubs nakedly on random people*

Sorry to horny up your thread, though.  :(

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RE: Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:43:38 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		no worries :) I keep perving your avaatar.. it's all good ;)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to lilabbotsfordgrl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:46:25 PM   
lilabbotsfordgrl


Posts: 140
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline 		Daddy took that last fall, a little while after i moved here to be with him from the US.  Canada....... eh!?

Whatcha drinkin?

*sneaks some*  i'm not old enough to drink this because it's American drink... but up here i'm old enough ;p

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RE: Common denominator - 5/22/2008 11:49:22 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		beer..natural ice cause it's cheap. no where near as tasty as Canuck/Euro beer.. but it works in a pinch.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to lilabbotsfordgrl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 12:00:28 AM   
lilabbotsfordgrl


Posts: 140
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline 		never heard of natural ice.
Daddy drinks Molson Canadian which he says is better than american beer but still pretty light.
i drink, well, whatever he lets me.  usually jaggermeister, gin, or jack :p
and then i get reeeeeeeeeeeeally slutty.  oops!

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RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 12:07:16 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		The problem is that it's never really common, because everyone we interact with is different.

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RE: Common denominator - 5/23/2008 12:10:59 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		Sorry to hear GreedyTop. I wish you good luck
quote:

the common denom is me
yeah....well..it is about you so logical.
Better let it rest some, till you are sober. And then think quietly what went wrong.



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~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

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